I am livid. I have a prescription I take to help with my overwhelming anxiety which has only gotten worse since I became sober. It also it what allows me to sleep. If I order this medication through my pharmacy it costs over $100, so I do it through a mail order service as it’s much cheaper (and I’m currently unemployed). Anyway I knew I was going to need a refill so I emailed my psychiatrists office about a week ago and they said I need to come in for an in person visit. The earliest they had was yesterday, and I sat with the doctor while I thought she was putting in the refill request into the computer. Well I find out when I get home that she didnt. I emailed this morning and asked if she could do it ASAP and summarized why this was so critical. Nothing. I called this afternoon and left a message for her. Nothing. Now the day is over and she was too busy with patients to get to it even though my appointment was before all the ones today and she should have done it yesterday. I am freaking out. I sent a nasty email to the office manager saying how unprofessional this was and that now I’m out of time (only have 12 more days including today and the mail time can be up to two weeks) so she will have to put it through the pharmacy and I will
Have to pay the extra amount. I have no idea when she is going to do this because apparently she’s ignoring me. I’m so stressed and anxious because without this medicine I’m not going to sleep and will be an anxious mess and I’m afraid I’m going to relapse. In fact after today I’m already so angry and scared and frustrated and this is the last thing I need on top of everything else. WHY is this happening, why couldn’t she take five minutes to push a button especially when she knows my situation. It is HER oversight. I’ve already decided I’m switching doctors once she fulfills this if she ever does.
I support you! Please don’t leave I love your creativity and appreciate your perspective here. You have helped me!
That really sucks. I hope you can get the meds you need. The through a pharmacy being more expensive is crazy to me.
Sorry you feel this way 
I always like the surprise hidden in your posts.
I always read your posts, you should stay, but it is up to you and I respect your decision… But please stay 
You are apart of this community and I really hope you do stay with us.
We have eachother. We have to stick together.
@kj1477 How are you doing today?
@shel75 I am so sorry to hear about your pain and fatigue. Sending you some healing and comfort vibes my friend – hoping you have better days ahead. I do know how intense this can be. Grateful that you are maintaining your sobriety. Just saw your update – glad that today is a brighter day for you. OOH sign language – that’s exciting… I have tried to teach myself a few times but never fully invested. Will hope to put real effort into it this year.
@soberwalker I do hope the new specs help with the headaches. On to new beginnings friend – no more memories of the old tat and the 2 year process of removal. I am super excited for you!
@holysquid 11 months 
way to go love- you are crushing it. Love the kick ass attitude! Keep that going strong
@lile01 so good to see you checking in and working on your recovery. Keep working it cause it does get easier
@chevy55 You are doing a great job at 32 days Nick! The blah days do come but they do not last. You should be proud of making it each day without your addiction. This is the biggest goal for each day. I am glad that your stock is not tempting for you. I know I had attempted to quit many times and either gave away all the alcohol or poured it down the drain in the past. I had to remind myself that the amount of money I was “throwing” away easier to deal with than putting all that poison in me. This time, I am living with my brother so ive moved it all out to the cabinets and fridge in the garage to keep out of sight for me.
@noshame Big hugs to you and momma – much love baby Arher – welcome to the world So very happy for you my friend. 
@jp123 29 days and making them count! You should be proud of yourself for getting out of the grips of addiction. I know that thinking back on our addictive behavior can be disheartening and depressive but hell try to think of where you are today! How far you have come and all that lies ahead of you. No need to apologize for ranting… we need to process our journey and this is a great place to do so. So very happy for your sober time – 1 month tomorrow
@tragicfarinelli YES! 40 days you keep on keeping on love – so happy for your sober journey.
@zzz always love your check in’s my friend. I do look forward to seeing your pictures and celebrating you unlocking the next milestone. I do hope that you can feel all the love we have for you and keep posting with us here
@yesnomaybe Way to go friend with your 6 days of sobriety! I love your list – so many positives and so many more to come. Keep at it Sleep will get better too…
@catmama23 OH FUCK Laruen – I am pissed just reading this. I have been dealing with the incompetence of medical professionals lately and it is super frustrating. I do not blame you for wanting to switch doctors. I do hope that you are able to get a refill in on time to get meds. So crazy that they cost so much from the pharmacy. I know its not easy but try to breathe and relax. The anxiety can not be helpful. Calming relaxing energy sent your way love – I do hope that it helps
Checking in on Tuesday evening
412 days free of alcohol and weed
827 days free of cigarettes
Had my head MRI this morning. Grateful that it was an early appointment so i did not have to wait to long to get my first sip of coffee 
Had some issues with getting the iv into my arm and some other issues with it staying in but luckily they got it all sorted after a few tries and test locations. I was surprised at how claustrophobic the head MRI can be. Grateful for meditation and deep breathing. So happy that it is over - the crazy loud noises really gave me a headache. Got to take a quick nap and did go for a stroll with my mom this afternoon on this sunny 40 degree day. Not much else to report for today! Made it another day sober.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening! Sending you all so much love
Day 723
I have completely worn myself out today. I was sooo busy this morning that I didnt eat. Came home around 12pm just shaky bcuz i was soo hungry. I cooked something (thankfully didnt binge) and ate around 1pm. I normally dont eat breakfast anyway but I had a hard workout at the gym this morning and i was starving. Tried to have a nap before i had to pick up my son but I basically just laid in bed half awake lol Got my son from the bus, made supper, did dishes, ate and am trying to unwind. I feel really tense and almost not well. I am wondering if i am consuming enough calories or maybe im not hydrating enough. I will keep an eye on it.
Tmrw i have my Body Scan at the gym. Curious to see what info comes from it 
Im feeling alright overall. Just very tense. Am looking forward to some self care tonight. Hope everyone is doing alright!
I am so sorry ur feeling rejected. I know we dont talk to each other often but i do consider you a part of my TS family I do undestand tho if u decide to leave. Your mental health is important also and if something is causing u more distress than not, than its okay to take care of ur needs first. U will be missed tho if u leave
Thank you for the thoughts and good vibes. Ive been dealing with autoimmune issues and inflammatory arthritis for years - pain and fatigue come with the territory. I try my hardest to maintain a good attitude and keep up with my work and other obligations. Some days, it gets the best of me and i have to regroup and refocus. My doctor has prescribed a new med which i will hopefully be starting soon - waiting for insurance to get straightened out as it’s extremely expensive. Also have an MRI scheduled for next week so i can see if there’s been any changes in my hip. Hopefully i can restart steroid injections and delay surgery awhile longer. I just need to continue to be grateful for everything i do have and can still do. And keep looking forward to warmer weather - i do not care for winter.
oh i’m sorry love. i totally understand where you are coming from with the autoimmune issues and inflammation (going through similar health issues myself and the fatigue / pain can be crippling). Staying positive isn’t always easy but i do know that i find this site to be very helpful on the days i feel overwhelmed with my symptoms. Glad you are doing getter today friend. Here if you eve need to vent and need support.
Wishing you luck with the insurance issues and keeping my fingers crossed that you can start your steroid injections soon. 
Thank you jazz
I think archer will be here in the tomorrow afternoon the latest
Im off to sleep for now
Goodnight everyone
Day 389.
Checking in. Sober.
Last night my kitchen cabinet unit fell off the wall. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Today they fixed it. Tonight stayed up working till 4 am to make a deadline. Now I’m tired, depressed, stressed, all the fun stuff.
Anywho, I wanted to check-in on here before taking my miserable cow arse to bed. Love ya guys.
@zzz I really hope you stick around, mate. You’re a valuable member of this community. You’re one of us. You belong here.
Different situation but I’ve had to deal with insurance and pharmacies recently. I don’t know your specifics, such as how many pills per Rx, but assuming you have a 90 day Rx, perhaps you can get a 30 day Rx filled at the more expensive pharmacy which could buy you some time to get a 90 day Rx from mail order. Of course, this would require some cooperation from your doctor’s office. My situation was that the 90 day Rx I needed to have filled would have been $900 because it was too soon to refill (my newly filled Rx had been lost, although I think it may have been stolen). I was able to get a 30-day prescription which my insurance did cover so my out-of-pocket was $15. I explained I couldn’t very well go without it as I experienced severe withdrawals when I accidentally missed a couple doses. Hoping this all works out for you without more stress.
1705
I don’t really understand how nurses in the USA do 12 hours shifts. I did ten hours yesterday, and combined with the commute which takes me a good hour each way I feel there’s nothing remaining of my day. Work eat sleep repeat.Thank god I like my job. But I feel a bit less like it this morning.
OK. Enough complaining. I know so many people here that work so much more hours than I do. I’m alive. I’m healthy. I’m rested. I got money in the bank and food to eat. I got Luna. I got friends. I got my incredible journey of Discovery that takes me places I never imagined. I’m sober and clean which makes all the rest possible. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from my rush hour commute.
@zzz What happened? Day zero is a bad day to make decisions. Hope to see you back soon friend.
356
The day just went by. Mittelschmerz had me on the couch for most of it. Nothing much to write home about for now 
Day 485
Today was busy but mostly nice.
One more day in the bag.
77 no sugar, no binge
33 UPFs
Pretty numbers 
@zzz Don’t go man. Where’s the fun without zzzTV?
A shitty night again. That’s what happens when I start experimenting with food. Histamine again 
Once again it’s incredible to see how this does not affect me like it used to. Yeah I’ll be tired and cranky all day, but I won’t descend in worries, self pity and stupid behaviour.
I’m going to move and meditate, work and take care of myself, deal with life however it might unfold.
Wishing you lovely people - and especially @zzz - a day of peace, light, and freedom 
Only drinked 3 beers after my yesterdays gym. I am back on track already 
I feel good today, but the sleep was terrible.
I really have no other place like this to keep my sobriety in check and it realy helps me. I made to almost five months and I never was more succesful on my sobriety before. I tried meetings for more than years and it was totally not my thing. Sometimes ignorance and some sort of rough talk hurts here, but I do not see any other option. On positive side I do believe that people here are different and for some being rough and giving some salt is what they need. I am happy that there are people who have different attitude. For some there are rehabs, meetings, for others Higher power and so on. I guess I need to stick to my people and understand that I will not be a friend to everyone. Not anyone is for everyone and not everything is for everyone. Thanks for those who understands.
No harsh comments @zzz . I hope you will stay!
You are seen!
I see you!
Connect, do not isolate yourself, so stick around!