Checking in day 36. Really helps checking in here and knowing I am not alone. Wishing a beautiful sober day to all.
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Thank you:) and no, but I did buy a nice cover for it. So that will help at least.
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Day 84. Didnāt check in this morning, got done work early. Just had a day where we were on the computer doing competencies and now Iām just home relaxing for a minute, going to go back to get some help with the insurance in a little bit. But yeah much love everyone
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0
C h a p t e r . V
Z e r o . P o i n t . F i e l d
Push to go back
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Today I understood a lot of things. I donāt want really to explain anything anymore as that this the point indeed why I choosed to do my check -ins in quite of an akward way - because I wanted to leave this community. Just because of very few people support I stayed here ( I really apreaciate Your support - Thank You 
)
It was painfulā¦ I checked in, but I feel rejected from a lot of Youā¦ And yes I do. Sometimes it feels like coming home to a comunity that you accept as a second family and some of you just ignores you, does not matter, like donāt even shake your handā¦
I have no words for this feelingā¦
So I donāt know why I am really bother writing thisā¦
Probably because of those who really helped and stayed together in this Journey Together 
Thank You againā¦
Thatās it from nowā¦ It just got to be happenedā¦ I wanted to say this and I wanted to say how IMPORTANT the SUPORT is ā¦
I know there are some people who gonna do harsh comments on thisā¦ Just pleaseā¦
PLEASEā¦
Donāt make this harder that this isā¦
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ā¦ I always like the way you check in dailyā¦ the mystery behind it always had me curious
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I donāt want you to go Zzz. I donāt interact with you much, but I like you being here.
What do you get when you put several thousand addicts on a forum? Often an echo in the wind bouncing off other echoes.
Reconsider your connection with us and stick around 
.
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I was always quizzically puzzled by many of your posts. Like I thought there was something others knew that I wasnāt in on and was over my head.
Sorry to hear of you departing and hopefully youāll reconsider, your posted pics always piqued my curiosity.
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Wow @Clarity your share brought tears to my eyes.
What a touching post. Congratulations on your 1291 days and still keep on keeping on.
Wishing all the best to you! And thank you for stopping in and sharing 
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Day 493
Work day done 
I went to a shop that has all sorts of sports- and trekking stuff to buy a new backpack. This time a really good one that is waterproof.
Saturday Iāll hopefully get a new bike thatās supported by my boss 
Itās called Jobrad (job bike). Usually you lease it for 3 years and buy it afterwards if you want. It has insurance and itās cheaper instead of buying one right away.
Looks like this time Iām really doing it, using a bike to get to work as often as possible.
Iām laying on my couch now with a full belly (spaghetti Bolognese 
) and a happy mind.
Happy to be alive and with a positive mind.
Lots of love guys, stay strong 
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Day 6
Still feeling really strong in my decision to be sober indefinitely. The only thing getting to me right now is my inability to get good enough sleep. I know itāll get better though and Iām taking steps to set a nice foundation for a healthy sleep schedule.
Iāve been imagining my future without alcohol a lot and I feel really confident that it will be better for me in every way. It actually makes me feel excited!
I start a new job in a week = 
NO logging into work hungover EVER!
Iāve been accepted into college for Fall '24 = NO staying up late to finish assignments thinking, āIāll just drink a littleā and inevitably drinking way too much and either failing or passing out.
My daughter will be on time to school way more often = NO more sleeping through my alarms bc I stayed up all night drinking
When I travel, I can actually go see the sights = NO sleeping through half the trip bc I was more focused on drinking in a new place
I can save up! (Maybe, bills are expensive 
) = NO using my credit cards for alcohol when I have nothing in my checking account (which is also gone bc of alcohol)
I can set a good example for my 5 y/o daughter and my 3 younger sisters (ages 13, 21 and 25) = NO ignoring the older two oldestās drinking habits when I see obvious red flags
I can cherish fun and exciting new memories = NO blacking out bc I used alchol to have āfunā (nothing fun about it, really)
Stay strong, Lovlies! 
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Love the list!! Big fan of them!! Sleep is a tough one, but in my experience it eventually gets better. 
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Took me about 3 weeks to get sleep somewhat worked out. Been pretty good for past 9 nights and last night was the best so far (according to my sleep tracker on watch).
Hang in, it does pick up and improve immensely and no hangover in morning is just the cream on top!
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Iām checking in on day 209.
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WTGOOOOO! TF
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Daily check in. Got home from work a little early and have some time to kill before my online class. Having a much better day today. Still dealing with fatigue and pain, as usual, but the sun is out and helps my mood a little.
Looking forward to my class in a little bit. Im learning American Sign Language. Itās something i always wanted to learn and is useful for my job and the volunteer work i do.
I hope everyone is having a great day. Thank you all so much for your support. Itās nice to jump on here and see what everyone is up to.
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I hope that you are not leaving. I really appreciate your posts even though I might not see them all or I might not put a checkmark on them all. Iām always interested in what you have to say, and how youāre doing. I know that your posts are helpful to other people and I would hope also to yourself. Take care.
@zzz
Also, agreeing with what @Tragicfarinelli said.
Editing to add. If I had the time I would reply to each personās post every day.
If I had the check marks I would like each personās post.
Alas. I donāt have the time or the check marks but try to keep up the best I can.
Again @zzz always appreciate reading your posts whether I respond in any way or not.
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Day 65
Worked, went for lunch to talk things through with my parents and sister, and after that the final signing of the power of attorney. Thankfully another task checked off 
Iām pretty tired these days, hardly any energy to do something else than work and family. I feel like Iām constantly āonā. But coming home to doggo and long cuddles makes everything easier. So much love for him! 
Tomorrow work. I feel like Iām slacking and running in circles during a very busy time at work and I donāt like that feeling. Aaaah!
But tomorrow is tomorrow. Now is now. So I sleep! Night night beautiful people 
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I am livid. I have a prescription I take to help with my overwhelming anxiety which has only gotten worse since I became sober. It also it what allows me to sleep. If I order this medication through my pharmacy it costs over $100, so I do it through a mail order service as itās much cheaper (and Iām currently unemployed). Anyway I knew I was going to need a refill so I emailed my psychiatrists office about a week ago and they said I need to come in for an in person visit. The earliest they had was yesterday, and I sat with the doctor while I thought she was putting in the refill request into the computer. Well I find out when I get home that she didnt. I emailed this morning and asked if she could do it ASAP and summarized why this was so critical. Nothing. I called this afternoon and left a message for her. Nothing. Now the day is over and she was too busy with patients to get to it even though my appointment was before all the ones today and she should have done it yesterday. I am freaking out. I sent a nasty email to the office manager saying how unprofessional this was and that now Iām out of time (only have 12 more days including today and the mail time can be up to two weeks) so she will have to put it through the pharmacy and I will
Have to pay the extra amount. I have no idea when she is going to do this because apparently sheās ignoring me. Iām so stressed and anxious because without this medicine Iām not going to sleep and will be an anxious mess and Iām afraid Iām going to relapse. In fact after today Iām already so angry and scared and frustrated and this is the last thing I need on top of everything else. WHY is this happening, why couldnāt she take five minutes to push a button especially when she knows my situation. It is HER oversight. Iāve already decided Iām switching doctors once she fulfills this if she ever does.
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