Checking in
2 years 10 days
Last night was hopefully my last awake overnight shift for awhile. I was not as tired in the morning as i usually am but just mentally sort of foggy. I got my son on the bus and then grabbed some breakfast, ate and went to bed for a couple hours. Just doing some cleaning now before he gets home. Im feeling kind of bummed about where my health is at. My lower back is hurting bcuz ive gained some weight. And its just a very achey reminder that i need to get myself back in shape. Next week will have to be my time to get back to the gym. I have work this weekend so cant do it then. Grateful to be clean and sober tho! Feeling blessed for what i have in my life 
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Checking in day 53 AF 
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@Timetochange feel better soon š©µ
@IamThechange thank you š©µ
@Sara.eve this would be a huge achievement for me too, so Iām very happy for you and congrats on 10 months 
@Misokatsu congrats on the new contract 
@Mindofsobermike congrats on triple digits 
and Iām glad the new job is going well
@Tragicfarinelli congrats on your last day and being completely cut off from the server 
@TrustyBird enjoy your road trip and time at the cabin, it sounds like lots of fun
@JazzyS Iāve chosen one I purchased a long time agoā¦A Monkās Guide to a Clean House and Mind.
Hoping for some inspiration/motivation since itās something I struggle so much with. 
Stay rested this weekend 
š©µ
1292 days no alcohol.
757 days no cocaine.
272 days no vape.
17 days no binge-eating.
I was awake early this morning. I caught up here, read the first chapter of the authorās latest book, which I found at the end of the book Iāve just finished. It sounds good so it may be a future purchase. I then did my morning routine.
Iāve spent the rest of the afternoon meditating and I napped too.
This evening I did another meditation, Iāve now caught-up here, and now I might start reading some of a new book.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
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Checking in. Today I had a half day off, so I could have a rest in the afternoon - I really needed that. My buddy and his cat arrived, we had a nice chat, itās good to have them here. Iām also less anxious than last time, probably because I more mindfully create short alone times during the day to ground myself. I still have a little time till bedtime, so I will watch a show or read a bit and then call it a night.
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Well done for bringing up the century
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Day 5
Really struggling with urges right now.
Lots of stress in different aspects today, also i think the sleep deprivation is getting to me (worked my 6th day in a row today on not enough sleep) just been foggy and irritated and physically weak all day.
Have a lot i need to get done before my trip in less than 2 weeks. One of my flights got rescheduled so i need to cancel that and buy a new flight so i cam stay with the group of people im with (anxious bevause what if that flights sold out already) I just need to get it done. Going to do that after i finish typing this.
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Sounds like a lovely day
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Hope you got the flight situation sorted out.
Breathing exercises may help calm you. Keep remembering why you choose to be sober - 5 days is amazing workā¦kick those urges to the curb and go push on forward 
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Checking in day 53. Iām starting to try and eat healthier. Iāve always had a sweet tooth but without the booze to drink at night, my go to became candy, ice cream and other sweets. I havenāt really tried to even curb the sweets but I am trying now. Itās going ok. Happy Friday to everyone. I wish all a healthy and sober weekend.
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Checking in
2 years 10 days
Im really in a āmoodā tonight. Im trying my best to not project my bad mood onto others and so far im managing okay but the urge to use is pretty intense. Ive had to go back to the basics today, deep breathing, mindfullness, playing the tape to the end, that sort of thing, to get me to a place where im not wanting to use my DOC. My addict voice is really trying tonight. And all i can think is that this once again has alot to do with the state im in right now, exhausted and emotionally blah. Im just putting my son to bed and then will get ready for work tomorrow and relax with hubby. Always grateful for my recovery, no matter what is running thru my head. No matter what! Dont pick up!
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Feeling good, motivated and refreshed. I went through a week of major struggling. My mom mentioned I may go back to psych unit if I continued the way I was. I was self harming severely all day every day. I heard my momās words and took them seriously. I realized Iād lose EVERYTHING Iāve worked for and all that I have rn and for my future. I donāt want to lose those things. I did a brave thing. I gave away every single blade I had in my possession. In all honesty, I usually give up one or 2 and still have a few left hiding somewhere. This time I gave up all of them. For a while I regretted it but later I felt a unusual peace. Ik this isnāt the end of my struggle. Thereās gonna be days that I struggle and want to sh. Iām seriously ready for everything to change for me. When this internship starts Iām hoping that my dream career as a marine ecologist will finally become realā¦ Im looking for apartments too. So many good things coming my way and I canāt compromise them in any way so Iām comitting to safety.
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373
Feeling blah today. I didnāt sleep great. It always takes me a while to fall asleep, but I usually never wake up once I do. Last night I did a couple times for some reason. It might have been my cat getting off/on the bed, idk.
Work was good. Finally a decent lunch shift. Afterwards I was really tired so I thought to take a nap before doing anything. Well the nap didnāt happen. I just layed on the couch. Then I layed on the couch some more. Idk. Just had zero motivation to move. Hungry but nothing sounded good, and I didnāt feel like cooking. That probably played a role in my lack of energy. As well as my cycle starting. The weather didnāt help either. 55Ā° and sunny when I got out of work turned to 20Ā° and snowy a few hours later 
Just blah!
Days like these I wouldāve ran to the liquor store to pull me out of this funk, but it was precisely days like these Iād overdo it. That thought doesnāt even cross my mind anymore. I know nothing good would come of it and Iād be worse off tomorrow and risk getting stuck on that merry-go-round again. Iād rather be blah 
Tomorrowās a new day. Letās all have a good one 
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Good Evening Yaāll!
Checking In On Day 332
Clean And Sober!!!
āāāāāāā
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94 sugar
50 UPF
12 overeating/binge
Hormone levels took a hard dive over the last days. Iām having real trouble registering hunger and satiety signals. I hope adjusting the dosage of hrt will catch up soon. Canāt even think straight.
Will try to fix some stuff for my mom today. Weāll see how this will turn out with the state Iām in right now. The bike ride and some fresh air will do me good. I donāt even know what else I have planned for today. Have to take it super slow.
I know this will pass. Today I will not try to make things ābetterā by acting out or stuffing myself with food I donāt want to eat. Only time can help. So Iāll take it one day at a time.
Wishing you fabulous people a day of peace, kindness and freedom 
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32 days weed free. 2026 days alcohol free. Split 1st place in a pool tournament tonight. Was satisfying however, I had to deal with a drunk guy getting super pissed off that i beat him. Im grateful i dont drink, otherwise I would have gotten into a fight. I did not say one word back to him. Not a peep. Just let him yell and ramble and cuss me out.
Clear heads prevailed and guess what asshole? I took home the prize 
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84 days in the bank
Up early for work. Good dayshift, not too busy. Quiet afternoon and had some good laughs.
After work got some fish and chips and had a picnic dinner with the family.
Home just in time to see the 2nd half of my team playing on TV. This seasons going to be a different experience for me without drinking. Am looking foward to getting to more games and also watching with friends as before Iād just watch at home so I could drink and not have to drive. Up the Wahs.
Dayshift again tomorrow. Hopefully a chill Sunday.
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Congrats @Mindofsobermike @ForrestKump on your achievements and congrats to everyone else on achieving another sober day
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25 days AF
Stay sober fam 
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1722
Having my coffee and thinking how the session with my old friend and my therapist was yesterday. Iām not sure. I guess I was hoping for some big breakthrough but that didnāt happen. We did talk. Which at this point is a small breakthrough in itself I suppose. And weāre not done with each other. Afterwards we didnāt draw any conclusions but decided to sleep on it, now I maybe feel more unsure about the whole thing than before. Not sure the current me still fits in this relationship. Keep communicating right? Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
@Noshame Not doing shabby yourself friend! Great numbers. Keep going.
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Day 245. Or 8 months today.
Wow
Where the hell did 8 months rock up from?
Have a fab day folks
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