Checking in daily to maintain focus #63

Checking in 9 Days

I feel like this is going so slow. I have been having so much thoughts and temptations about acting out. I don’t know how to let go. Just got to keep going one day at a time.

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Thank you so much :pray:t2: hope youre taking care of yourself as well :pray:t2:

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Day 250. Finally off for the weekend. Coffee on the couch with my dog. Not much else.

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That’s all you can do, one second, one minute, one hour and one day at a time. You are doing great, let the thoughts pass and keep going!
:v:t3: and :purple_heart:

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Day 5 of my vacation and its a road trip day. I’m heading an hour and a half away to a friend’s cabin to walk in nature, talk until I can’t anymore and probably laugh until I pee my pants. I’m fortunate to have long time good friends who have known me since childhood and there will be lots of sober talk. They will be drinking but I won’t. There is no more fun in alcohol for me.

If I do get tempted I am grateful to know I’ve got all of you in my pocket. :kissing_heart:🩷

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@forgive_yourself Hope today is a much better day for you. Sending you strength to have the hard conversations. It can’t be easy I’m sure but I do hope you can move forward together fulfilling your hopes and dreams :hugs:
@maestro –love it – looking forward to celebrating your 500 days with you! Marty. Congrats on your new wheels!
@catmancam Thanks Cam! Yeah to completing book – you have another one picked out? Glad that the shining sun is creating a happy mood :hugs:
@timetochange I am glad you took time off - hope you get plenty of rest and start to feel like yourself again.
@iamthechange Thank you Ami! So lovely to hear that your baby is starting to feel like herself again and that the recovery is going well. She is absolutely adorable and I thank you for sharing her pics with us.
@jasty2 :rofl: :rofl: I love her sense of humor and would appreciate this over a good morning text any day!
@sara.eve Loved reading this and seeing how much better life has become for you in your sober journey. Keep up the fantastic work!
@misokatsu Congrats on your new adventures and opportunities.
@mindofsobermike Congrats on your triple digits Mike! I love all of this for you – you deserve a healthy happy addiction free life and I’m grateful that you are feeling good in it!
@tragicfarinelli So glad that this chapter is over. WOW – so happy to hear that you spoke your mind. Loved that you are being shown love today :people_huggin: :heart:

Checking in on Friday afternoon…
i did manage some sleep (interrupted and not many hours but i do feel refreshed). tummy swelling is going down which is a good sign. Had a call from the hospital to check up on me which i found to be very sweet of them to do. My mom is a true angel. She is taking care of me :hugs:
I have been doing some slow ass walking around. Not much else going on and that is ok.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love :heart: :heart:

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Checking in
2 years 10 days
Last night was hopefully my last awake overnight shift for awhile. I was not as tired in the morning as i usually am but just mentally sort of foggy. I got my son on the bus and then grabbed some breakfast, ate and went to bed for a couple hours. Just doing some cleaning now before he gets home. Im feeling kind of bummed about where my health is at. My lower back is hurting bcuz ive gained some weight. And its just a very achey reminder that i need to get myself back in shape. Next week will have to be my time to get back to the gym. I have work this weekend so cant do it then. Grateful to be clean and sober tho! Feeling blessed for what i have in my life :pray:

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Checking in day 53 AF :blush:.

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@Timetochange feel better soon 🩵
@IamThechange thank you :blush: 🩵
@Sara.eve this would be a huge achievement for me too, so I’m very happy for you :blush: and congrats on 10 months :tada:
@Misokatsu congrats on the new contract :clap:t2: :tada:
@Mindofsobermike congrats on triple digits :100: :tada: and I’m glad the new job is going well :blush:
@Tragicfarinelli congrats on your last day and being completely cut off from the server :raised_hands:t2::partying_face::tada:
@TrustyBird enjoy your road trip and time at the cabin, it sounds like lots of fun :blush:
@JazzyS I’ve chosen one I purchased a long time ago…A Monk’s Guide to a Clean House and Mind.
Hoping for some inspiration/motivation since it’s something I struggle so much with. :crossed_fingers:t2:Stay rested this weekend :people_hugging:🩵

1292 days no alcohol.
757 days no cocaine.
272 days no vape.
17 days no binge-eating.

I was awake early this morning. I caught up here, read the first chapter of the author’s latest book, which I found at the end of the book I’ve just finished. It sounds good so it may be a future purchase. I then did my morning routine.

I’ve spent the rest of the afternoon meditating and I napped too.

This evening I did another meditation, I’ve now caught-up here, and now I might start reading some of a new book.

Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends. :blush:

🩵

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Checking in. Today I had a half day off, so I could have a rest in the afternoon - I really needed that. My buddy and his cat arrived, we had a nice chat, it’s good to have them here. I’m also less anxious than last time, probably because I more mindfully create short alone times during the day to ground myself. I still have a little time till bedtime, so I will watch a show or read a bit and then call it a night.

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Well done for bringing up the century

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Day 5

Really struggling with urges right now.
Lots of stress in different aspects today, also i think the sleep deprivation is getting to me (worked my 6th day in a row today on not enough sleep) just been foggy and irritated and physically weak all day.
Have a lot i need to get done before my trip in less than 2 weeks. One of my flights got rescheduled so i need to cancel that and buy a new flight so i cam stay with the group of people im with (anxious bevause what if that flights sold out already) I just need to get it done. Going to do that after i finish typing this.

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Sounds like a lovely day :raised_hands:t2:

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Hope you got the flight situation sorted out.
Breathing exercises may help calm you. Keep remembering why you choose to be sober - 5 days is amazing work…kick those urges to the curb and go push on forward :muscle:t4:

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Checking in day 53. I’m starting to try and eat healthier. I’ve always had a sweet tooth but without the booze to drink at night, my go to became candy, ice cream and other sweets. I haven’t really tried to even curb the sweets but I am trying now. It’s going ok. Happy Friday to everyone. I wish all a healthy and sober weekend.

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Checking in
2 years 10 days
Im really in a “mood” tonight. Im trying my best to not project my bad mood onto others and so far im managing okay but the urge to use is pretty intense. Ive had to go back to the basics today, deep breathing, mindfullness, playing the tape to the end, that sort of thing, to get me to a place where im not wanting to use my DOC. My addict voice is really trying tonight. And all i can think is that this once again has alot to do with the state im in right now, exhausted and emotionally blah. Im just putting my son to bed and then will get ready for work tomorrow and relax with hubby. Always grateful for my recovery, no matter what is running thru my head. No matter what! Dont pick up!

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Feeling good, motivated and refreshed. I went through a week of major struggling. My mom mentioned I may go back to psych unit if I continued the way I was. I was self harming severely all day every day. I heard my mom’s words and took them seriously. I realized I’d lose EVERYTHING I’ve worked for and all that I have rn and for my future. I don’t want to lose those things. I did a brave thing. I gave away every single blade I had in my possession. In all honesty, I usually give up one or 2 and still have a few left hiding somewhere. This time I gave up all of them. For a while I regretted it but later I felt a unusual peace. Ik this isn’t the end of my struggle. There’s gonna be days that I struggle and want to sh. I’m seriously ready for everything to change for me. When this internship starts I’m hoping that my dream career as a marine ecologist will finally become real… Im looking for apartments too. So many good things coming my way and I can’t compromise them in any way so I’m comitting to safety.

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Feeling blah today. I didn’t sleep great. It always takes me a while to fall asleep, but I usually never wake up once I do. Last night I did a couple times for some reason. It might have been my cat getting off/on the bed, idk.

Work was good. Finally a decent lunch shift. Afterwards I was really tired so I thought to take a nap before doing anything. Well the nap didn’t happen. I just layed on the couch. Then I layed on the couch some more. Idk. Just had zero motivation to move. Hungry but nothing sounded good, and I didn’t feel like cooking. That probably played a role in my lack of energy. As well as my cycle starting. The weather didn’t help either. 55° and sunny when I got out of work turned to 20° and snowy a few hours later :tired_face: Just blah!

Days like these I would’ve ran to the liquor store to pull me out of this funk, but it was precisely days like these I’d overdo it. That thought doesn’t even cross my mind anymore. I know nothing good would come of it and I’d be worse off tomorrow and risk getting stuck on that merry-go-round again. I’d rather be blah :upside_down_face: Tomorrow’s a new day. Let’s all have a good one :sparkling_heart:

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Good Evening Ya’ll! :blush:

Checking In On Day 332

Clean And Sober!!!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

:raised_hands::raised_hands::raised_hands:

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94 sugar
50 UPF
12 overeating/binge

Hormone levels took a hard dive over the last days. I’m having real trouble registering hunger and satiety signals. I hope adjusting the dosage of hrt will catch up soon. Can’t even think straight.

Will try to fix some stuff for my mom today. We’ll see how this will turn out with the state I’m in right now. The bike ride and some fresh air will do me good. I don’t even know what else I have planned for today. Have to take it super slow.

I know this will pass. Today I will not try to make things ‘better’ by acting out or stuffing myself with food I don’t want to eat. Only time can help. So I’ll take it one day at a time.

Wishing you fabulous people a day of peace, kindness and freedom :peace_symbol::people_hugging::dove:

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