So great to see you Lauren. I am sorry for all that you are going through. I do sympathize as it’s not easy dealing with health issues with no answers or relief in symptoms. I do hope you find answers and solutions soon.
On top of which you have yout searching for a new job stress and normal every day life piling on. This all can be super overwhelming.
Grateful to see you getting back on track and working towards your sobriety. This is huge And should be celebrated. You are showing up for yourself. Just do it for the 24 hours ahead of you. I’ve seen you kick ass and am confident that you will do so again
Screw the timers of they mess with your sobriety. You know your mental health best. You’ve come a long way in this year that I’ve known you. Gathered many tools and learned ways to protect your sobriety.
Sending you luck for your upcoming job interview
Keep pushing forward my friend and do stay connected.
Feeling great, got my nails done and had a nice chit chat with my nail tech. added a picture because i’m very proud that they’re my natural nails!
Said no to plans that involved drinking (and most likely drugs) and i’m feeling good about it!
Thanks for checking in directly, and apologies for the idiotic cryptic post (which I loathe when people do).
I was pissed at my weight, overtired from two late night hockey games, and generally in a foul place in my head which again is not quite like me, but I’m noticing it more since sobriety. Not outwardly, just a mental state but I smile and put on a happy face for my wife, she doesn’t deserve my moodiness so I keep it in.
I had come close to pulling out the nicotine vape and a good pull of whisky, thought hard on it. Even had my glass out on my desk.
But I survived the mood swing, and am now 53 AF… phew
Thanks again for those that supported, it was appreciated
Glad you are still with us Chev.
I felt this often in my early sober days. It was almost like I had to integrate the real inner me and the me I showed to everyone. The me I showed to everyone looked happy and smiled a lot.
The true me drank alone behind closed doors. Sometimes just saying that things aren’t okay is the first step to making them okay. Glad you are still here.
Checking in 2 days. Continuing to try to make some radical hard changes to life. Woke up early and went on a run. Got back made breakfast for the family. Prayed with my wife, did push ups, showered and now time to start work. Trying to keep anxiety about work at bay. I just need to let go and let God take control.
741 and getting in a car for 6+ hours with my Mom. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.
At the very least I am a safe chauffeur. At the most maybe I learn something about her or we bond. Either way I do love a road trip and I’m happy to have a pocket full of people if I get in a pickle.
Checking in still sick. I somehow made it through work last night, it definitely wasn’t pretty. Added an extra hour on because the student i was working with forgot his backpack at the work site so i had to turn around, take him back to get it and then take him back home. It’s a long drive, at night, out in the middle of nowhere - ugh!
Im not feeling any better today. I’m hoping this is just a cold and runs its course in a couple days. I have a history of getting sick and not being able to shake it off due to the meds i take for autoimmune issues.
Im going to make another cup of tea, get ready for work and hope for the best.
Have a beautiful sober day, everyone!
Day 104. Good morning sober fam, yesterday was good. Went fast as days off always do lol. But got myself a couple nice colognes, some aquie de gio profundo parfum and ysl myself. And mhmm are they good, did a little grocery shopping and yeah just relaxed. At work this morning and started off with 3 discharges off the bat, plus 8 daily rooms and 3 of them are isolation, then I still have all my nurses stations and bathroom, so yeah it’s a busy day. But it goes by good. I hope everyone has a beautiful day, remember sobriety is worth it and so much better then being stuck on repeat chasing a high that doesn’t even actually feel good. Much love
Thanks @acromouse for the kindness and encouragement… I need to do a better job at pampering myself. Usually my inner voice is just beating myself up so I don’t often think that way at least not lately when my self esteem has taken a real a** kicking.
@IamThechange thank you for giving me hope that I won’t always be stuck in this cycle. It’s real crazy making stuff. I know we’re not supposed to rely on external factors but I do hope that things get a little easier soon. I can honestly say this is the most stressed I’ve ever been in my life, or maybe second-most.
@SoberWalker@JazzyS thank you too for the ongoing support, it makes a huge difference. Sometimes the only voices that reach me are the ones on here. 🩵
at least not lately when my self esteem has taken a real a** kicking.
