Thank you so much for your words . I know Iām over reacting, itās been a rough few months. My last relapse was after I had to put down my 14 year old cat Riley on Dec. 23. It was supposed to be a check up, but her dementia took a mean turn. I missed Christmas with my son, and grandkids.
Today I feel okay, but itās in the evenings that are the worst. Even though I donāt post all the time, I often come and read.
I want to thank @JazzyS & @acromouse. Itās hard for me to reach out for help, I wasnāt brought up that way. Keep everything bottled up until you explode lol
I will keep a positive attitude tonight, see how that goes. Weāre supposed to have severe storms, that should keep my mind on something else. Today high 76Ā° Tomorrow high 28Ā° wtf??
Truth. This has been one of the harder things for me but also the most important.
@maxwell glad youāre here. @Chevy55 stay with us, youāre doing great. We can be doing great and not doing wellā¦itās the nature of things. I have had to accept that cognitive dissonance and that in itself helps me tremendously.
Checking in
2 years 14 days
Been a positive day so far! Woke up feeling fairly refreshed, got my soon off to school, and then went for a leg/glute/cardio workout. That wore me right out tho! Ran 2 errands afterwards and then had a video call with an organization that helps pair kids with disabilities to adapted sports. My son is showing interest in being on a team and playing sports so thought id look into this further. Feeling soooo much better mentally about my health. I know its only been 2 days back at the gym but im already feeling better. Its amazing what a good workout can do. Did some self care and will do a bit of cleaning soon. Thats about it for today! Hope everyone is have an addiction free day!
Checking in on day 268 AF.
I had a couple of disturbing dreams last night. The first one was a classic teeth falling out dream then the second was a drinking/drugging dream. In the second one I was at a music festival and I was trying to get a couple of cans of beer but the stall had sold out, so I decided to go and get some drugs but I only had small change. Iām so glad it was just a dream.
Iām coming up to two years since I found this site and one of the things Iām proud of is that in the past two years I have only had 20uk units of alcohol. I couldnāt have done that without the support of all you guys in this community.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
Hello again everyone. Not sure I even can count the times Iāve been back here trying again. And now Iām doing it again.
Iām sorry everyone who have missed me, I just couldnāt make it the last time either.
To make a long study short, it all stared with us opening up our home to a long time friend, once again. Heās heavy on the drinking and it all got to much for me so I got back at it for a few months.
He moved out a couple of weeks ago, or actually I kicked him out because he ande oldest daughter started to flirt with each other. Sheās a grown up, and so is he, but I still found it inappropriate. So I kicked him out,they decided to be be together and I decided I didnāt enat anything to do with anyone of them.
I drank some more and ,broke up with the person whoās been my Best friend since I was a young adult, because I realized that we werenāt good for each other anymore.
Drank some more, got somewhat even with my now alcohol mother.
Found some peace and finally decided that I really want to give the sober me a fair chance without all the drama that used to follow me,so now Iām back.
So good to see you back Iāve wondered how youāve been, especially after all that craziness you and your family was going thru. Happy that youāve returned for another go. Iāve had a lot of day 1s myself but all that matters is we keep trying
Thank you
Not sure all the craziness is actually over, but Iām sure that Iām done with it. I used to be really worried about other people being mad at me, or upset with me, but maybe itās something with the age, but I just donāt care anymore. Iām going to do my own thing for real this time. And if youāre not with me,or not liking my boundaries thatās on you because Iām done.
Guess it also helps that Iāve got in contact with a great therapist after Iāve worked myself into a burnout in December.
Anyway Iām here now,and Iām not giving up.
Thank you for your encouragement it means a lot
Hell yeah! You do you and donāt let anyone get in your way. You have to be #1 when it comes to your sobriety. Once I realized that, it became so much easier. Hope your hubbyās back to normal
Unfortunately he isnāt, but I think we all realized that this is put new normal now so it doesnāt feel that hard anymore. His nack and hip wonāt be better ever, so all we can do is hoping that the government will keep giving him his sick payment. Iām unemployed but Iāve got my unemployment insurance that covers for me for at least a year, so for now weāre pretty safe. And that feels really good.
And thanks to that Iām going to focus on becoming and creating what Iāve always wanted.
Thanks for asking.
Howās everything going with you?
Iām sure Iāve missed a lot when I was gone.
Day 60 - I equate this as my two month mark, just for fun. Who decides what months are anyway?
I am having a heck of a time around here. I just believe the rough spots are leading me to better ones. I have steps I really need to take: Meditation, exercise, cooking more, entrepreneurship, and so on. Have a great day.
Checking in. It was a tough day emotionally. My buddy who has been struggling with many mental health issues got really depressed. Itās hard not to be able to help, as there isnāt anything I could say or do to ease his struggles. He went home and he arrived safely, but Iām still not sure what to do. I aslo had some confrontation with my ex in the evening. I feel stuck in this situation with us still living together. Donāt really know how to handle a future job change and the lifestyle changes that come with it and with raising two kids alone.
Happy to see you at 60 days. Heck of a time but here with us, I call that a win in some respects. I just like having you around, well in a selfish way for me. Hope you keep plugging along with those goals, amix! Sending love.
. I know Iām over reacting, itās been a rough few months. My last relapse was after I had to put down my 14 year old cat Riley 
on Dec. 23. It was supposed to be a check up, but her dementia took a mean turn. I missed Christmas with my son, and grandkids.
lol
xoxo
Iāve wondered how youāve been, especially after all that craziness you and your family was going thru. Happy that youāve returned for another go. Iāve had a lot of day 1s myself but all that matters is we keep trying 
As always. Thank you for the love and showing how it can be done! 
