Much better today. Woke up still pretty achy but no more fever. Took it easy all morning and then got a nap to make sure I was well rested for work. Felt great after that!
Around 2pm, while I was getting ready, I got a phone call from a Buffalo number I didn’t know. I only answered in case it had something to do with my daughter. Turned out to be an extremely drunk gentleman who couldn’t articulate a full sentence. I heard ‘wrong number’ and I realized ‘oh yeah, the St. Patrick’s day parade is going on right now.’ Oddly enough, that was never something that interested me. I learned early on that I wasn’t capable of day drinking. Anytime I started before 4 was a bad night, usually with someone hurt or in jail. Plus it’s too far a drive to risk. I bet the jail app will have some interesting stories tomorrow. Glad my name won’t be on it
So, anyway. I get to work, all decked out in my green , and everyone is surprised to see me. They’re like ‘Laura! We didn’t think you were coming!’ And I’m just like ‘Why? Lol.’ I didn’t talk to anyone today. I didn’t call in for 2 days yesterday I was just confused. They’re like ‘We already covered your shift. You can go get some more rest. It’s dead anway.’ I mean, I was fine with it, but is this not bizarre?! I guess that’s what happens when you never call in. They probably thought I was dead So I just had a peaceful night at home, listening to the rain.
Had to improvise at work yesterday trying to manage some total mismatches in the group I’m responsible for. Thankfully I’m pretty good at that. It’s keeping the rules tight that I sometimes get in trouble with.
With addiction there’s no breaking the rules though. It’s either all in or all out. And just for today I’m all in. I hope and expect you all will be too. Have as good a day as you can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Thanks for giving me a laugh with my morning coffee friend. Glad to read you’re feeling better
Sundays are for relaxing, but also sometimes taking a self inventory of how ive been and what can i improve on.
Digging through past traumatic experiences sitting with them and feeling them, turning them over and releasing the pain into the universe, letting go but still remembering to take ownership.
It started to snow last evening.
So today we woke up early to a snowy sunny paradise.
I don’t like snow, but it’s absolutely stunning outside today. So I don’t mind.
Funny thing because I spoke to my brother in the phone the day before yesterday. It was our warmest spring day +9 degrees and rain. While talking to him I looked out the window and saw a bullfinch. My father used to say that those birds only comes out of the forest to grab extra food of it’s going to be really cold.
So I casual said to my brother, You won’t believe it, but there’s a bullfinch in the neighbors yard. Pa is here to tell us that there’s going to be snow.
My brother laughted it off, and I said that he’ll wait and see. Nature doesn’t lie, and I’m sure about what I saw.
Last night he called me and told me it had started to snow. And while we where speaking it started here as well.
Besides that little anecdote, I’ve got nothing important to report today.
Need to change my extra protein to another kind thought because the one I recently started with is not good for my skin.
But that’s an easy fix.
Besides that I feel like I’m at peace for the moment. An unusual but nice feeling
106 days
Was up late watching sport last night so usually that would have led to me feeling hungover and shit today.
Except thats not us anymore so I had an awesome day.
Started with gym in the morning for sparring. Then swimming lessons for the kids. Sushi on the way home for lunch. Walk the dogs. Then continuing to teach the youngest to ride a bike. Dinner. Uno. Then kids to bed.
Pretty good Sunday.
I’m very happy about two weeks of no ultra processed foods.
I learned a few things about my addiction and my triggers during these past days of overeating and that’s why I’m adding a new counter for processed foods. I’ll explain later in a longer post.
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
I’m going to do my weekly review today, with the fine weather go for a walk or maybe a bike ride, relax, read, watch anime. I’m going to keep to my schedule and keep my peace. Just for today.
Keep your peace friends, a day in kindness and freedom
Can’t feel much apart from sorry for myself and back pain. I hate pain, I hate feeling below par and I hate this kind of thing where you have to wait and heal. I’m impatient and a bit anxious around muscle pains.
Thank you Indi for caring. That was very kind of you to take the time to respond. All is better now, just needed to work through and abstain.
It’s been fairly smooth sailing so far on abstaining, but there are times when old habits wish to push through.
Happily waking up sober once again.
Checking in day 686 free from weed and alcohol
7.53 months no vaping
I never thought me living sober was possible! Now im having fun in sobriety. Trying to stay in the present, let go of things outside my control, and take it 1 day at a time.
ONE YEAR. SO HAPPY. I look amazing. I feel amazing. I am so productive and creative. I always thought I needed alcohol to tap into my feelings and creativity, to mute the memories so I could be present. All alcohol did was distort the feelings and make the memories haunting ghosts that begged for more drinking. It anchored me in the past. My current vow to myself is to stop looking back in shame for mistakes and wasted time. I look back to see how far I’ve come and how beautifully I’ve paved a road out of all that mess.
Heyy jazz
The only thing on my mind is that its inventory tasks at work so my routine here is messed up because i have tasks of getting items under shelves or destroyed accounted for
Its been this way for 2 weeks
If my routine gets messed up my whole day can come crashing down and its happened a few times so far
Im just thankful my bosses are very human and they get it
Ive been exhausted
My wife stays at home with the baby. Shes just as exhausted. So its been grumpy for everyone
Today its raining so hopefully its not too busy. But that’s definitely not a guarantee
Today isnt too bad mood wise
I just wish i woke up earlier
, and everyone is surprised to see me. They’re like ‘Laura! We didn’t think you were coming!’ And I’m just like ‘Why? Lol.’ I didn’t talk to anyone today. I didn’t call in for 2 days yesterday 
I was just confused. They’re like ‘We already covered your shift. You can go get some more rest. It’s dead anway.’ I mean, I was fine with it, but is this not bizarre?! I guess that’s what happens when you never call in. They probably thought I was dead 
So I just had a peaceful night at home, listening to the rain.
and 
