I should be alright, I should be okayā¦ nothing bad happened, days just keep rolling by and sober days keep stacking up.
Itās still school holidays here and next week I start my new volunteer management position. I still have some training to do. It shouldnāt be a big thing, but Iām slowly starting to freak out. Why have I agreed to take on this position? What do I need to do? How does the computer system work? What if I get asked questions and donāt know the answer? What about my questionsā¦ who do I ask?
So yeah, atm Iām just trying to hold it together, because I feel like im way over my head with this. Iām not thinking of picking up a drink, but at this rate the UK is heading towards a chocolate shortage
On a positive note: Iām off to the big shopping mall with my daughter today.
HolySquid, 400! Mighty impressive work you! Big congrats. Congrats also on challenging yourself. Thatās where growth occurs. Good reminder for myself too. Enjoy your shopping day with your daughter.
edit: Itās the 400th post in the thread too!
400! Frenetic clapping with my (two) hands.
Mini reminder:
You donāt actually need to have all the answers. Youāll figure it out on the way! Itās gonna be fun, youāll see!
Feels like a lifetime ago I stopped drinking. Itās great to know Iām going to keep feeling better every day for a long time. I also know that now is the time to really stay focused and not slip up. 1 month is coming up quick then the milestones start taking longer.
When I quit smoking, for the first year when asked if I smoke or if Iād like a smoke, Iād say no, I havenāt had a cigarette for 2 months, 5 months, 6 months etc. once I got to a year, I started just saying that I donāt smoke. Iām going to do the same with drinking. Once I get to a year, I just donāt drink. Iām not a drinker.
Going to a meeting later in the evening. Otherwise just trying to survive and make plans with some friends for when I get better.
Itās unbelievable that I still maintain some friendships even after everything. However, this should be the final straw for me. The moods changed drastically.
They donāt really show it because they are both too kind for their own good. But I can feel the distrust and the lingering resentment.
Guess thatās just the consequences of my actions.
I should really just be grateful that they are still in imy life. So Iām gonna try to do just that.
Day 3. Struggled with sleep, so nackered. Going to have a relaxing day today and get in to some of the stuff Iāve been missing since my drinking got a lot heavier over lockdown. Get my art stuff out (or buy new) and have a read. Have a great day everyone.
Itās too early so I might as well check in. Stormy day with egg-sized hail! The weather report really said that. Actual eggs might be preferable to egg-sized ice bombs! I just got a new roof after the last hail event. Iāll take rain please.
Happy to be sober. Bad sleep but no hangover. It will be a good day.
Day290:) working 7-3 today then grabbing some fresh air. Will also do some readingā¦ And just reflecting on where I am at with things.
I do knkw before this time of not drinking, I found it really really hard to stop. It took me about three years to get back on track. Three years! So Iām going to stay pretty humble about this all forever
Art eh? I was a pretty decent art student in my day. What a great pastime to have to distract and be absorbed. Hopefully weāll get to see some of it down the road.
Thank you @Steve92, @JazzyS, @K_S and others for your note on school mate. Itās shitty when you think the only way out is to do something so final. It leaves a large hole for the family and friends to figure out. Just sad really.
Otherwise, got my hour superset done yesterday that I failed on two days previouslyā¦ just exhausted I think for the first attempt of that weight increase, but persevered. Got the bike ride in with wife for an hour. Met a new landscape client for summer that we will take onā¦ have 2 more I need to meet this week sometime also.
My time lapse of eclipse didnāt take but we had front row seat over the water for a cloudless spectacular. It was pretty surreal. It grew so quiet for those moments when it was completely covered. Eery.
Today I am finally building the two walls in container storage so I can move all my landscaping tools and hang properly. Then the little shed that is used for them currently will be moved across my driveway (by stupid brute force and a couple logs) to its new resting area and I willl convert into a sort of greenhouse/garden shed for my wife. Needs new floor, new roof, polycarbonate panels on roof as well as a window and glass door to let in the light. Iāll surprise her with a little deck on the front where she can prop a chair and a little coffee table to sit and enjoy her gardensā¦. But shhhh, that will be a surprise. Weather is finally decent enough to stop hiding out insideā¦
Wow, this is a mouthfulā¦ haha
Anyway. Loving 95 days sober life, losing weight, getting fitter and being productive and proudā¦ what a life this is!!
Keep ridin friend 
Actual eggs might be preferable to egg-sized ice bombs! I just got a new roof after the last hail event. Iāll take rain please. 
