So sorry about the kitty. Please stay strong after your colonoscopy. Your kitty wouldn’t want to be the reason why you relapse. I’m pretty sure. May you find comfort!
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I’m so sorry to hear you’re going to have to say goodbye to your kitty. I’ve done the same many times over the years (always had cats) and feel your pain.
Please please decide right now that you’re not going to drink. The moment we chink open that door as a possibility the darned addict will leap through it. Can you arrange something for after you’ve said goodbye to keep you occupied, in company, sober? Sending strength
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Oh man, I feel so bad for my dad. He’s really stressed out about a bunch of shit my brother caused for us. Basically, my brother wouldn’t agree on anything about my grandma’s inheritance, so my dad and I basically have to sell the house now in short notice and look for a new place. The rules around the inheritance is that my dad, me, and my brother all needed to agree on whether or not to keep the house basically. I agreed with my dad, but my brother kept changing his mind over and over again. Then, my dad and I just agreed with what my brother wanted for the inheritance, but he changed his mind again. I tried to talk to my brother, but he is not listening :C
I’ve been making sure to really stay sober from cocaine so that at least I’m not stressing him out anymore. My dad is a huge reason why I’ve been really putting in the work to stay sober.
It makes me sad that my dad is so stressed out due to the drama between my dad and my brother :C
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Oh no 
I’m sorry you have to say goodbye
Please don’t drink, I can tell you from me having 879 days to now having 21 days it isn’t worth it.
It won’t help you through any of this.
Do you have someone that could go with you to support you ?
Sending love 
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It’s great that you are staying sober and strong, it’s alot to sort out with your family and the loss of your grandmother
Sounds like you and your dad have a good relationship and I’m sure he is proud and it makes him feel more at ease knowing he has your support properly 
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Hello - day 81 here.
I had some extremely rare time alone between work and dinner cooking. Managed to do some spring yard and deck clean up. Before I became a Dad last year, I would have been a beer or two in before dinner on a day like today. Happy I’ve come so far since then and keep on keeping on.
Enjoy the rest of your day/evening/night, sober friends.
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Thanks homie, I appreciate it 
Yeah definitely, the last thing I wanna do is disappoint my dad by using my drug of choice again. I don’t wanna add onto his stress, and cocaine blows anyway (pun intended).
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Day 192 girl – i am so sorry that you are going through this at this time and the heart break is testing you so hard at the moment. You kitty is blessed to have had your love and to have been brought up in such a beautiful environment. 
We are all here for you - alcohol will not solve anything. Do not let that addict voice convince you otherwise. Sending you love an hugs Charlie 
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2y1m27d
I was feeling really frustrated not long ago. You know at times, I feel like Im still learning to manage my emotions clean and sober. Sometimes i get frustrated with my frustration about managing my emotions but Ive only been clean for a bit over 2 years which is in reality such a sort time compared to how long ive used drugs for. So i understand that things are still relatively new. But at least the first thought that pops into my mind when i get stressed ISNT to use drugs. But my god, its like emotions just overtake me and i have to really focus on pausing and calming myself down in healthy ways. I actually just stopped, sat there in silence with my eyes closed, and did focus breathing for like 5 min. It helped.
I must remember tho that:
- I can not control others or how others feel, but i CAN control myself and how i feel.
- No one can MAKE me feel a certain way and if i experience an emotion bcuz of someone, i am allowing myself to feel that way.
- That i control how i respond to any given situation. Its not that situation controlling me and my behaviours. This is a big one for me.
I forgot all about that and it dawned on me tonight when i was breathing my frustrations out lol im going to remember this moving forward. I think it will really help me in my dealings with situations and other people. Have a great night everyone.
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Off to bed dear friends. Great day at work and got to see my husbands cousin and her husband for dinner at the in-laws tonight which was really nice. They are making the big move here from Belgium and are newly married. Makes me so happy to see others in their adventures and to be part of it.
Love to you, Im tired as sin LOL and so happy to cozy up in bed. Xo everyone…stay sober!
@butterflymoonwoman…I feel you on emotions. One thing I have come to realize for myself is that the way people behave CAN make me feel certain emotions. People who hurt me can MAKE me feel hurt, and I feel for me its okay and important to acknowledge it. My reactions to that is important, and Im still learning but I love the entire concept of boundaries. I dont have to stay, and you can see yourself the fuck out (lol). Stay strong my lady, some of us got BIG emotions and for me its learninf to embrace and love that about me instead of trying to tamp it all down. Always love reading your posts and appreciate your honest and raw check ins, you speak from the heart and soul. Xo.
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Checking in tonight at:
1 year + 12 days clean and sober
12 days tobacco free
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419
Checking in super tired. Goodnight
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Thank you for the compliment 
i have always enjoyed reading ur posts aswell and i love your insight on this topic.
Hmmmm youve given me something to think about. I cant quite seem to get my thoughts down but i think u may be on to something. Because in the past, when others have hurt me, and i have felt upset and hurt, i have always chosen to sort of act like it doesnt phase me. That what they did, didnt bother me. That I was in control of how i felt in that moment. And more often than not, how I chose to deal with it, was by turning a blind eye to it. That in turn, i think, almost gave them a thought that it was okay to behave this way to me. I can relate this alot to sex work bcuz there were many, many times that a man had done something to me that hurt me in many ways and yet i acted like it never phased me. I absolutely became desensitized to their behaviour bcuz i wasnt allowing myself to feel the emotions and instead push them aside year after year.
But on the other hand, i have been told by my previous supports and here on TS, that its important to acknowledge how I feel and of course to set boundaries like u said.
I love how authentic you are in ur posts. And i appreciate that very much! Youve given me some things to think about. About how I react to situations and people in my daily life in recovery.
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1 year 12 days . Way to go. You are an All Star!
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Thank-you for your words of encouragement, it really means so much. I am home alone dealing with my girl, hoping she can wait till my hubby gets home tomorrow night.
I am not drinking! Everyone’s wise words have sunk in and if course it won’t help my situation, just make it worse…
Love you guys!!! Again, thanks for caring.
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Checking day 297 AF
Feeling very restless today and unsettled. Overly tired and struggling with issues in my relationship. Feeling cut off from a life I was trying to build here in AZ. Dating someone out of state has been challenging. He comes out every weekend so it’s cut me off from the few friends I had. Though those friends are drinkers and that’s not a life i identify with anymore. Changes need to be made for sure.
Sleep well everyone.
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I’m so sorry Sophia. That’s trajic. Prayers
Time for bed 
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I did meditation last night. Couldn’t go back to sleep at 2am. I loved it. Super relaxed and I just love his voice. Thanks for sharing.
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 43
Missed the Romano (Gypsy) natonal day yesterday.
It’s usually a time for celebration, everything have been so focused on helping the surviving mother and child.
Facebook fundraising is still on full go. But with all the resources and help we’ve gathered without them, the family now has pretty much everything they need again.
Can’t help them to handle their loss of course, church is going to have a big part of that.
I keep out of church involvement as much as I can. Feel like I’ve done as much as I can for now.
It’s a vary tragic accident, and like always you wish you could’ve done more.
Trying to leave it a little bit for now. It’s difficult, I feel bad that I can just continue with my life, being happy for the sunshine, plan for my future, hug my kids. And basically everything I do in Everyday life.
When this mother and child have lost so much.
Not really sure how to handle that.
Wishing you all an amazing day.
Eid Mubarak to those who celebrate.
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I feel for you. So much. The loss of my dog was so hard, even though taking care of him while he was sick was a big reason why sobriety stuck for me at that time. I want to share this post I made in my personal thread and I hope you get something from it because I was where you are now, slightly different circumstances but I really thought I might drink then and I pulled through. Things have changed for me so much since then, I didn’t end up following the path I had in my mind then but I also explored everything available to me recovery-wise to work through this difficult time. Please do that for yourself, too. You are so worth it. Hugs.
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