Happy happy birthday 
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Motivated or not. Good days and not so good ones. Thereās never a reason to drink Charlie. Good youāre here, makes me glad. ODAAT friend.
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Yes you are Marie! Happy birthday!
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@Davina_Davis congrats on 4+ months 
@Charlie_C feel better soon š©µ congrats on 50+ days
@happyfeet congrats on 9+ months
@BJonns congrats on your month+
@Butterflymoonwoman Iām glad your son is doing better now 
you really are Supermom š©µ sending you energy 
@Mno I hope your interview went well 
your current commute is definitely quite the trek!
@JonasE congrats on 30+ days
@acromouse congrats on 30+ days no gluten and double digits no dairy, no overeating/binge enjoy the game festival 
Iām so sorry for what youāre going through sending strength and love 
š©µ
@Juli1 congrats on 90 days maybe go back to the opticians for a re-test if youāre not getting on with your new lenses, those side effects sound awful I have astigmatism too, I canāt drive in the dark because of it and I struggle with blurry vision a lot even with my glasses, more so when Iāve been reading for a long while and when Iām tired, but often for no reason at all!
@CleanHeart it takes a long time for our brains to re-wire, but they can, keep doing whatās working for you in the meantime š©µ
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@JazzyS Iām sorry about your eye, I hope youāll get it looked over if it persists š©µ
@Laner congrats on your good news
@Mel6 congrats on 9+ months
@MrFantastik congrats on 150+ days
@Mischa84 congrats on 10 months good look with the school holidays!
@MooseTracks congrats on 600+ days
@Lighter congrats on 60+ days and happy birthday 
@SelfLove_42 congrats on double digits
@Maestro ouch! Sorry about your tooth
@Mali definitely normal, give it time. I hope your interview went well and congrats on double digits
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@Mira_D so pleased to read youāre all finding your stride again, and proud of you fighting this š©µ keep going, one step at a time 
@Mindofsobermike looks awesome, and so neat! 
@Just_Laura I hope your neck and back are feeling okay after some rest
@Danwood85 it can take a while for emotions to balance out so be kind to yourself in the meantime sending strength š©µ congrats on double digits
@IamThechange congrats on 150+ days
1360 days no alcohol.
825 days no cocaine.
340 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Monday therapy was really hard. I spoke mostly about how difficult and abusive my relationship with my dad has always been.
I had the worst binge Monday night/Tues morning-afternoon, that Iāve ever had. Ā£60 worth of crisps, chocolate, and biscuits.
Tuesday therapy I was fighting with a sugar coma and told the psychologist how bad my binge-eating had been since I last saw her 6 weeks ago. She was very concerned, so after our session she contacted the Adult Eating Disorder service, who I am waiting for CBT-E therapy with, they advised her to tell me to send an email detailing how things have changed for me, so I did that this morning, I also asked if they know how much longer Iāll be waiting (Iāve been waiting since last summer).
My dad came with the final van load to store in my garage yesterday evening, so I gave the rest of the sugary foods to his wife, as there was still so much left but I really didnāt want any of it. I feel bad that my dad may eat some of it (heās diabetic like me), but he doesnāt abuse it like I do.
It feels good to have slowly crawled my way out of the sugar coma. After nearly 24hrs since I last consumed sugar, there is still a very high amount of glucose in my urine, itās scary because even when it does finally test clear, it will still be very high in my blood, and I donāt know how long that takes to clear.
I started catching-up here at 9am, it is now nearly 7pm! It feels good to be caught-up now.
š©µ
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Thanks @JazzyS ā¦Iāve been looking up local AA meetings in my area, turns out thereās a few and Iāve got an appointment with my doctor next weekā¦I hope you had a nice day with your mum!
@Lighter happy birthday!
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Thank you TragicF! 
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So sorry youāre struggling through that! It sounds like youāre getting help, proud of you for letting your therapist know everything thatās going on. Connection is the enemy of addiction š«¶š»š«
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Congrats on 60 days!!! 
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Much appreciated my friend 
ā¦Iām sorry to hear about your strugglesā¦ hopefully your therapy comes through soonā¦ in it together budā:heart: take care.
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Thank you! 
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As I look backā¦Iām just amazed, humbled and in awe. Itās truly by the grace, kindness, compassion and love of God for every moment of sobriety.
He gave me another chance and opportunity to serve Him as I was designed and meant to be. To Him be ALL the glory and Honor. My life is completely His 
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Checking in Day10. Thankful for another day sober. Today is a great day! Wifey is coming home this eveningāIām waiting on a big family supper tonight. Hahaha 
The night before last my best friend reached out to me. I mean my best best best friend. Since 1st or 2nd grade always been really close. After his grandmother and my granddad died, His grand dad and my grandmother got married when we were around 16 y/o. We havenāt talked in almost 6 years. All because when I was drinking and drugging I kicked out everyone and stayed isolated. I can admit I messed up our relationship. He sent me a message on snap chat (he didnāt have my number) saying āhe must close this chapter of his life and move on, no hard feelings and I love you brother. We havenāt talked in 6 years for whatever reason. Iāve been beating myself up wondering what did I do, why isnāt my best friend talking to me and avoiding me?ā I was so ashamed of what I had become. To make a long story short, I told him everything and how I didnāt know how to come to him about it, even after a year of not talking, i started getting in my own head and trying to think of how youād respond I just kept running from you. We agreed to try and work on friendship again, you know establish a good rapport.
This is the second person God has placed back in my life. First my brother that I hadnāt talked to in 4 years and then my very best friend. I know God is doing construction in my life. So so thankful!
#ODAAT
I am grateful not only for my physical needs being met but also for the unseen ways You work in my life
Have a fantastic day everyone
Happy 24
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37
The three Metamorphoses of the Spirit
Three metamorphoses of the spirit do I designate to you: how the spirit becometh a camel, the camel a lion, and the lion at last a child.
____________________________________- I -
Many heavy things are there for the spirit, the strong load-bearing spirit in which reverence dwelleth: for the heavy and the heaviest longeth its strength.
What is heavy? so asketh the load-bearing spirit; then kneeleth it down like the camel, and wanteth to be well laden.
What is the heaviest thing, ye heroes? asketh the load-bearing spirit, that I may take it upon me and rejoice in my strength.
Is it not this: To humiliate oneself in order to mortify oneās pride? To exhibit oneās folly in order to mock at oneās wisdom?
Or is it this: To desert our cause when it celebrateth its triumph? To ascend high mountains to tempt the tempter?
Or is it this: To feed on the acorns and grass of knowledge, and for the sake of truth to suffer hunger of soul?
Or is it this: To be sick and dismiss comforters, and make friends of the deaf, who never hear thy requests?
Or is it this: To go into foul water when it is the water of truth, and not disclaim cold frogs and hot toads?
Or is it this: To love those who despise us, and give oneās hand to the phantom when it is going to frighten us?
All these heaviest things the load-bearing spirit taketh upon itself: and like the camel, which, when laden, hasteneth into the wilderness, so hasteneth the spirit into its wilderness.
____________________________________- II -
But in the loneliest wilderness happeneth the second metamorphosis: here the spirit becometh a lion; freedom will it capture, and lordship in its own wilderness.
[ā¦]
[ā¦] āThou-shalt,ā is the great dragon called. But the spirit of the lion saith, āI will.ā
[ā¦]
All values have already been created, and all created values- do I represent. Verily, there shall be no āI willā any more. Thus speaketh the dragon.
[ā¦]
As its holiest, it once loved āThou-shaltā: now is it forced to find illusion and arbitrariness even in the holiest things, that it may capture freedom from its love: the lion is needed for this capture.
____________________________________- I I I -
But tell me, my brethren, what the child can do, which even the lion could not do? Why hath the preying lion still to become a child?
Innocence is the child, and forgetfulness, a new beginning, a game, a self-rolling wheel, a first movement, a holy Yea.
Aye, for the game of creating, my brethren, there is needed a holy Yea unto life: its own will, willeth now the spirit; his own world winneth the worldās outcast.
Three metamorphoses of the spirit have I designated to you: how the spirit became a camel, the camel a lion, and the lion at last a child.Thus spake Zarathustra. And at that time he abode in the town which is called The Pied Cow.
-F.N. āāThus Spoke Zarathustraāā
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Second check in just to show you todayās Maying (Maja in Swedish) itās when you have Fika outside.
Almost every playground was filled with people so we ended up at a place in the forest called The Pine.
Itās the only forest area here with easy access if you have a problem to move around.
The āhouseā in the background is a bbq hut (GrillkĆ„ta in Swedish)
j
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Hey sweet friend,
thank you so much.
Itās difficult.
Itās not good without correction in longterm or while driving (or cinema, supermarket, screen work), but to me itās also not good to have correction 24.7. Thatās why I got a solution with daily lenses, regular glasses and sunglasses. Of course I have normal sunglasses too. Light is difficult. Sometimes light feels like noise to me. I am digging into a high sensuality overall these days.
The old vision values āāwere good. The first optician set the axis for the new values āāin one eye from 180 to 10!!! My axis is 180 and the curvature is 1.75. Diopters only 0.5 to 1.
The wrong axis on one eye causes the height of the floor to shift. Definitely with the glasses and I tested it again with the lenses. Itās only with these values!
They also didnāt adjust the glasses properly, I have a wide nose bridge, they were sitting much too high! 
I donāt know why she did that either. She was totally irritated that my brain didnāt accept the simple values āāfrom the computer measurement (so - welcome to my brain lol 
)
Then she got nervous and tried lots of things one after the other! In between, everything was double and crooked.
And I wasnāt able anymore to say if itās fine or not. Like I smelled over 5 parfums.
By the way, smells are also loud to me. Lol.
Think it will be solved Saturday at the next appointment. I did the trial with the lenses and the adjustion of the glasses didnāt help. All shit. Old is all fine. They need to make new glasses for the glasses. I have insurance. Welcome to Germany lol.
Thanks for asking cam 
I will report how itās goingā¦
92 days checking in
Body is asking for rest.
So I rest.
Donāt have cravings but am still aware that I need to go back to some recovery work.
Love you guys 
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2y2m18d
Good afternoon everyone! Today has been a much better day! Got my son on the bus to school, grabbed a coffee and breakfast while I was outside (I had been craving Tim Hortons for awhile) and then came home to sleep 4 hours. Got up not long ago and decided to do a little cleaning. Laundry, dishes, that sort of thing. Still dont feel fully rested tho. After tonights sleep, i should be feeling somewhat better. Hope u all are having a great day 
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Day 579
Hey yāall, how are you guys doing?
I had some not so nice days, I got the second cold in a row with sick leave from a coworker who comes to work sick and spreads it everywhere, so that many of us get sick.
Weāre not enough assistants in the office since one of us got her baby.
Sunday I messaged our team that Iāll stay at home until wednesday, so tomorrow is my first day again.
One of my collegues wrote a not very nice message, a very desperate one.
One of my flaws is that I think she meant me with that message. Iām always assuming people, who are angry, are angry at me. I donāt know the correct english term for that sorry 
I hope you know what I mean.
I try to tell myself that itās not okay to think like this. We have a workload we canāt handle with such a small team. Sheās desperate. She didnāt mean me with that. But if she meant me: it says more about her than id does about me.
Damn, it feels so different to write this words out here that in my journal. Journaling helps to get the thoughts out of my head but itās not the same as telling it here, to you.
I feel a bit better now, Iāll handle that tomorrow.
Iāve come so so far, I learned so many things in the last weeks and months. I grew so much.
But the way never is a straight line, it has ups and downs and curves, right?
Have a beautiful sober days friends, stay strong 
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@charlie_c Way to go with your 52 days Charlie ā Some days are just blah ā they help make the better days that much better and more appreciated. We are here for you friend ā keep pushing forward
@twizzlers Great work Twizzlers ā I can relate to starting a project and the urgency I put on myself to get it done. The crazy pressures we put needlessly put on ourselves is insane and yeah they lead to negative coping mechanisms. Great job in seeing this and realizing its ok to take your time with the project ā its ok to take a break. Its all OK
@laner Congrats on planning ahead for your trip and finding ways to protect your sobriety. Grateful that you will have WIFI and can still connect with us. Glad you are also able to take a friend with you. Hoping your sleep continues to improve and you donāt have any issues with the sleep walking
@catmancam Thanks friend ā I had made an appointment for tomorrow morning with my doctor as she wouldnāt refer me to an optometrist without seeing me herself but luckily my eye is starting to show signs of improvement so I cancelled the appointment. Your sessions sound taxing ā I do hope you are finding a way to do self care when you return home from them. Hopefully the CBT-E therapy will be scheduled soon now that you have your therapist advocating for you too 
Great work on getting rid of all the sugary stuff (no need to tempt yourself unnecessarily). Stay strong my friend
@danwood85 Oh good to hear ā glad you are finding support in the area. I do hope that you can find connections this way Mom and I had a wonderful morning today ā even got to do a light walk before it got too hot.
@chosen2001 So good to see you checking in Chris and WOOT WOOT ā 11 months is amazing work Keep it going strong
@k_s Double digits Kenny ā look at you go! OH WOW Kenny ā how beautiful to read this. Grateful that you are finding ways to mend old valuable relationships on your sobriety journey
@butterflymoonwoman SOOO Very happy to hear that you had a good day love. Glad you got some rest and do hope that you are able to get lots more tonight
@sabrina80 SO good to see you friend. Glad you are starting to feel better. I totally know what you mean and I tend to do that too but then have to tell my brain that its not healthy (like you said) to think this way. You know you give your very best at work (especially with the short staff situation) and it is very frustrating. This person could just be venting in general. I do hope that writing it out here with us helped you process it Amazing number friend 579 and going strong
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