Every single day is different. Some days are better and some are worse. Today you do whatever it is you need to do to go to bed sober and you will be so proud that you made it through. Promise. #speakingfromexperience
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Checking in day 97 AF 
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Checking in 5m18d
Dyou know, I keep finding myself sitting and gazing into space and day dreaming chain-smoking and drinking coffee. Yet no urge to drink whatsoever. You know the āStopping drinkingā card read at newcomer meetings where it says not to sit gazing into space? I keep doing it and not feeling any cravings coming up or anything. I think the fact that I know for a fact that I donāt want to be with that girl anymore has taken me another rung up on the never ending ladder of emotional sobriety. Acceptance is amazing. She keeps creeping into my head from time to time like I knew she would butā¦ not to the point where Iām getting any kind of emotional reaction. This is how I know she will eventually fade out of my thoughts and wonāt even be a memory.
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Thank you both @Tragicfarinelli and @tifflynn07
I went out to be sociable over dinner and watch the Spurs match. Only mild cravings now which is really positive. If I didnāt want to risk it I would be doing my own co-op run now, very jealous! I do have mint matchmakers though 
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Happy Sunday to you. Day 79.
Iām stressed out about life demands, and sleep deprived, but at least my basic needs to live are met. Iām grateful my daughter is happy and healthy, and my wife adores and supports me.
Glad Iām not sipping on beers all afternoon and evening just because itās the weekend - like I would have been doing a few years ago.
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@Soberbilly @DresdenLaPage Thank you for your support. I donāt have a sponsor. I found some general questions in a book about recovery and yoga which I find very helpful in order to go through a somewhat directed process. Confronting myself with memories of feeling so awfully powerless when in active addiction was emotionally very intense. But I find this very therapeutic especially in understanding why I cannot do this alone and how abstinence is an antidote to this powerlessness.
Iām thinking about joining a recovery program with meetings, but Iām a very introverted person and Iām still not sure about that.
Iāve done some yoga, breathing exercises and meditation and Iām much better now. Thank you again.
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@mrsodh Yeah day 40 days is amazing. Hope you all had fun playing in the puddles 
@konrad55 5 days is fantastic work! Keep stacking up the days 
@jennyh 2 weeks ā woot woot Jenny! Way to go with your amazing progress. Congrats on pushing through the cravings and stacking up the days! OOF that CFS is a bitch. Iām sorry Jenny. Glad you are in your PJās and in bed. Be kind to yourself and hope you are able to feel better in the morning. Much love to you and so grateful that you have managed to add another day of sobriety to your books.
@danny81 welcome back to day 1 and great job on restarting right away. I know this is the hardest part and you are doing it. Glad you were able to be open with your wife and stay accountable to your journey. We are right here with you friend ā lets keep pushing forward
@ofmiceandroach YES 2 months and going strong. You are getting stronger every day and a huge congrats to not being tempted by the wine. Happy to be celebrating your milestone with you
@noshame great timers friend. I know it sucks to relapse but you should be proud of your sober time and that you were able to get right back on track. You have learned from the experience and will work more diligently on your journey.
@laner welcome to the community Elana and great work on your 4 days of sobriety. Should be very proud of your days and ability to resist drinking. ODAAT
@dan.h84 great job Dan! Love all the positive changes you are making to help you stay focused and on track. Keep going strong
@jonase welcome Jonas to the community! 9 Days is impressive work. I rested a lot in the begging of my journey. Do not let self pity or shame overcome you. These are emotions your addict mind sets out to keep its grip on you. Be proud of yourself for putting in the effort each day. Glad you are here with us and working on your sober journey
@gazirish Great work on your sober days friend. Glad you are starting to feel better. The reminder of the horrible days and the feeling associated with em is something I try to still hold onto so that I wonāt get sucked into romanticizing about my addiction. Journaling is great ā glad you are here checking in also. Keep stacking up the days
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One week!!! So happy
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@john_connor1337 so grateful that you did not give into your urges for your DOC. As I started the journey I realize that all mind altering drugs have a way of linking to one another. I know that if I was to do anything at this point I would be right back to drinking and smoking. Not sure if its our minds āits okā switch that gets turned on or if we lessen our inhibitors or 
regardless ā you did great on seeing the cravings and addressing them even while having had a couple of drinks.
@acromouse so scary to be dealing with all these feelings. Hope you are in a safe and secure environment and have someone to talk to irl. It really is a can of worms and it takes time to unravel and deal with. Sending you hugs my friend. Here if you need a shoulder. Glad you are feeling a bit better and you are thinking of joining recovery group ā sending you strength.
@steve14 LOL I like that the mind is keeping you on your toes. Sorry that today is that kind of day thoā¦ I do hope that hitting the bag helped. Hopefully you are having a fantastic sunny Sunday! Fingers crossed that you will have a happy cheerful attitude for your Monday 
@PositiveThoughts 79 days is amazing friend. Sorry that you are not able to catch up on sleep ā I know with a toddler at home ā sleep is a hot commodity. Sending you energy and calming vibes. You have made huge progress and should be super proud.
@Bomdhil how are you doing Thomas?
Checking in on Sunday afternoon
Had a good day so far with family. Having a rough day but i know this pain canāt last forever so trying to stay positive and keep my head up. ODAAT. Itās a beautiful sunny day and feels great to have the windows open to let in all the fresh air. I do love this time of year
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love 
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@Whereswaldo congrats on 20 days! Glad youāre feeling better and waking up rested. Weāre all excited for your 1 month milestone as well. 
@james glad youāre aware of the things you donāt need to be around. Glad the kids are getting more time with their dad. Congrats on Day20! Now go and try to beat your oldest 
hope you have a good day, my man.
@Konrad55 congrats on 5 days! keep on keepinā on. Welcome to the communityā¦everyone here is very welcoming and supporting. Hope you like it here and wish you the best on your sobriety journey. 
@Timetochange congrats on day 88, nothing wrong with treating yourself to something nice.
@JennyH sounds like yāall will be busy. Iām with your daughter I want a swimming pool holiday 
glad youāre able to push through those cravings. Congrats on day 14!
Hi @danny81 everyone gets a chance to relapse but not everyone gets another chance to recover. Take advantageā¦donāt beat yourself up too bad, get up, dust it off, and kick ass. I wish you the best! try to figure out what triggered you and do the best you can to remove it or yourself from the situation.
@Ofmiceandroach congratulations on two month, Emma! Glad you made it through that challenge, keep on keepinā on!
@Chevy55 house tasks keeps me busy all the time, congrats on 93 days brother.
@Nordique congrats on 1393 days! You have a good day as well.
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@MrFantastik 127 days, congrats my man.
@Noshame I with you, Iām not in a good enough place yet to stop nic. Congrats on sobriety achievements!
@Laner welcome, Elana. Iām proud of you being able to not stay in isolation. Congrats on 4 days. I wish you the best! 
@Dan.h84 Iām on meds for bipolar disorder and a bunch of other mental health disorders, and counseling too. It has helped me so much. Congrats on 8.5 days. Keep on keepinā on!
@Lighter good that your mind is calm and youāre rested on this nice Sunday, congrats on 37 days. Keep on keepin meā on! Iām hoping for a peek of the eclipse as well. You have a good day as well!
@JonasE hey, Jonas. I hope youāre able to pull yourself up. I know the feelingā¦I suffer with major depressive disorder and I was at my lowest before treatment this last time back in December of last yearā¦ couldnāt see anything to be grateful for, I was ready to take my life. I said that to say i think weāve all drowned in self pity and that phase will pass, reach out for some help if needed. I wish you the best.
@GazIrish good job on upcoming day 3. Keep on keepinā on.
@Pattycake congrats on 270 days, Patricia. 
@john_connor1337 Iām glad that you were able to learn from that, and that you have to make some adjustment when going on out. Congrats on 13 days sober from your drug of choice. I wish you the best
@acromouse That is very upsetting to look back on. Try talking your sponsor and keep continue being strong and going head first at this step and this too you will overcome. Wish you the best, buddy!
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@tifflynn07 Iām glad youāre having a successful weekend. Accomplishing goals raises dopamine and helps with the symptoms of depression. I set small goals daily. Congrats on 98 days, Tiffany. Now back to finishing your list of things to doā¦. Have a great day, Tiffany.
@Seizetheday congratulations on 97 days AF, Hannah.
@PositiveThoughts hi. Iām glad youāre able to show gratitude in times that may not going as well as weād like. Itās help. I pray peace of mind, and some good sleep upon you! Have a good day!
Checking in Sunday afternoon, Day 109.
Woke up feeling well rested this morning. Family and I went to the zoo Friday and the circus yesterday afternoon, everyone enjoyed it. but now itās back to reality. So since we were busy this weekend we didnāt have enough time to get my mother in law stuff moved into her new apartment. She blew up our phones all weekend, while we were out enjoying time with our kids. Itās was very annoying. If the attention isnāt on her, the things she will do for attention is insane. We got up this morning and went picked up the U-Haul and before I even left the house this morning, I had a text at 6:00am saying āget up, the U-Haul will be ready at 8ā 
We have a lot going on constantly and I donāt mind helping, but what weāre not gonna do is stop our plans, and rush to your calling. She canāt help, because health isnāt the best, so all of the work is on usā¦and she doesnāt care about anyone but herself. Iām done rambling guys, my wife is waiting on me to load more shit on the damn U-Haul. Have a good day everyone. Check in later.
#ODAAT
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Yeah, I feel that - It was pretty difficult for me to take inventory and go through step 4 as well. My sponsor had to pretty much hold my hand and drag me through it at times but itās so worth it. Itās worth keeping in mind that the steps are there for YOU to do but itās pretty much impossible to fully appreciate, understand or benefit from them without the help of another alcoholic whose been through them themselves.
I was once dead against AA when I joined the forum 6 odd years ago and it used to piss me off when people kept telling me to try a meeting or go to AA - I thought I knew best and I thought I was special. Iām really not.
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Thank you! I like the swimming holiday idea too. I havenāt been abroad in so long, I want to do everything!
You sound like an amazing son in law. Hope you get some more family time and some peace soon.
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IX
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@JennyH congrats on 2 weeks Iām glad you had a nice break
@danny81 keep fighting, I hope your wife will be supportive š©µ
@Ofmiceandroach congrats on 2 months
@Rob11 Iām glad the date went well and you pushed through your fears š©µ
@james83 Iām really enjoying the book, he explains stuff very well and itās definitely relatable in an addiction sense too.
@Laner welcome congrats on day 4 well done for pushing through the anxiety 
@JonasE welcome congrats on day 9 sending strength š©µ
@GazIrish welcome back congrats on day 3
@acromouse 
@Emerrick congrats on your week
1336 days no alcohol.
801 days no cocaine.
316 days no vape.
3 days no binge-eating.
Woke up early. Caught-up here. Read 4 chapters of Atomic Habits. Watched an episode of TV in the lounge. Tackled the carpet stains, I finally found something that works! Did a very short walk just to get outside, but didnāt change into my trainers so now Iāve hurt my leg, hoping it settles overnight because itās quite painful, like a shin splint but further down than I usually get them and more to the side.
Therapy tomorrow, not looking forward to it, I have been finding her very invalidating. Maybe tomorrow will be different.
Then as soon as I get home from that, I have to drive to my hometown to see the doctor about the condition on my back. Itās a positive that Iām being seen, so a referral can be made, Iām just anxious that itās on the same day and Iāll be stressing about being late.
Then when I get home from that appointment, I need to hoover, then I have my cessation nurse phonecall as well.
I hope youāve all had wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
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Day 21. On The road to a month!
Health check at the docs and ADHD check at the psych this week.
Quote for building our new house should come in which means we could be signing a contract by Friday.
Work has some busy days. Weāre a family business that does termite management and today Iām assessing a clientās property for a potential install tomorrow! Usually we have a week or 2 to prepare but they move in Wednesday.
We also have two big beautiful trees getting removed from our property as theyāre getting dangerous and will be in the way for new build. Devastating for us as we love them.
A few stresses this week for me to be mindful of. I wonāt let them get to me. Fortunately Iām in a truck most of the day so Iāll be continuing to listen to This Naked Mind audio book which so far has been great.
Have a great day and week everyone!
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Thanks Jazzy! Itās raining here today which is ok. April showers bring May flowers so they say. Enjoy the rest of your day.
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Thanks @K_S and @Soberbilly for all the support and encouraging words. Kind of feel like my toolbox was TS yesterday ā¦ also had no idea setting goals and accomplishing them raised dopamine so Iāll add that to my toolbox too in the future bc it def worked this weekend for me 
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End of day check in,
Somber Iām afraid. A good man that I went to high school with, a sergeant in the RCMP took his life today. He was good friends with one of my best friends, a RCAF pilot who also lost his son recently to suicide.
My best bud, had just begun his sobriety journey 6 days ago, but has slipped tonight as the two of them used to comfort and chat about there PTSD on many a night, so heās tipping a couple in his honour.
Heās struggling but has his wife and daughter at home supporting him, and we are going to meet up early this week for lunch or dinner (his choosing), and chat.
My wife and I are doing a long distance camping trip with him and his wife to Toronto this summer to take in a concert so this gives us an additional reason to ensure a date so we can talk plans and perhaps make some commitments to bike together somewhat as he is a huge biking guy and I used to be and am trying to get back into it.
Always the shits when these things happen. You just never know what a person struggles with really and truly.
Here is a snap of the horizon as the sun sets on this somber day.
I need no condolences myself as I didnāt know him after high school really, but my close friend did. So if you could send thoughts to them that would be nice.
Take care and be well TS family.
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