@Mali good luck with your application 
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2y1m30d
Just checking in on a friday evening. Enjoyed my day for the most part. Feeling super positive about where my health journey is taking me. Feeling pretty positive about recovery as well even tho i was experiencing some sneaky cravings for my DOC tonight. I apologize if this is going to be a ramble. I just really wish the thoughts would stop. Sometimes i wonder what im not doing for them to still be present at over 2 years clean. Sometimes my addict brain tells me I miss it or that Im missing out on a chance to āescapeā from life for a bit. But then I remind myself of what Im really missing out on: emotional and mental turmoil, physical issues, financial debt, damage to relationships, having to go back to surviving again as opposed to thriving in life, and then of course risking my lifeā¦ for what? A temporary high that in reality does nothing for me. Any thought in my mind that says that using drugs does something for me, is a lie! I know that today but yet it continues to tell me that.
Im grateful that i can now distinguish what is my addict voice and what isnt. I used to believe every thought and react on every feeling. Now i know that i dont have to react! Thoughts are just thatā¦ thoughts. I have a choice today. Whereas for many years, i didnt think i had that choice. Every thought resulted in using drugs. No matter how i felt, i was always using to adjust or manipulate my reality. Thats what my life revolved around. Finding ways and means to get more.
I guess i just needed to get my thoughts out right now. Im grateful for recovery and all of you absolutely amazing individuals that have supported me to get to where i am. Im grateful that i have a HP in my life to guide my thoughts and actions. And that any damage caused due to using drugs, has slowly begun to repair itself. Im grateful that its not all about me. And im grateful that i have other interests to enhance my life whereas for years n years all i thought about was drugs. I think i just needed to reassure myself tonight. That im on the right path and that theres sooo many benefits to being clean and sober. Thanks
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Oh how I can relate. One of my favorite alcoholic drinks when it starts to warm up was Roseā. I havenāt craved alcohol in quite sometime but just a moment today I thought it would be nice to relax after work with a glass of wine. Then I remembered the slippery slope that Iād be on. Waking up feeling terrible, the feeling of isolation, etc. Thank you for sharing. Itās a good reminder that itās my addict mind telling me itās ok.
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Checking on Friday night. It was a strangely long day but the time flew by if that makes sense. One dumb question after another at work and having to deal with a coworker āman-splainingā to me.
Busy weekend ahead packing up for a trip to CA to house sit and dog sit. Itāll be nice to be at the beach but the weather in AZ is just about perfect and the weather in CA is cold in comparison.
Feeling uneasy about my relationship. The 5 weeks until I see my BF again will allow me time to re-think what I want. Tho I do sense an unhealthy habit trying to creep in. I have an ex that has reached out and wants to see me. This ex is historically been detrimental to my well being. Heās almost as dangerous as alcohol is to me. I know logically I cannot drink but why to I try to rationalize seeing this person who will say and do anything to get his way?
Why am I willing to sabotage myself?
Much to contemplate. Sleep well everyone.
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Just wanna thank some folks ā¦
@Lighter , @Davina_Davis , @JazzyS , and @CATMANCAM ! Itās an honor to be sharing this journey with you allā¦
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We shall continue to stack those months, friend!
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Awe thank you friend! You as well 
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6 Days
- No Alchohol
- No Cigerates
Came to work after a long holidays here in Dubai, Attended AA meetings in these holidays, Got some new Sober friends.
Feeling Energized and Happy
God Bless all
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Day 3
Worked all day between two jobs, but felt surprisingly decent after only getting 4.5 hours of sleep. Got 18k steps just from working
Always helps to keep myself busy
Gonna get ready for bed and go to sleep so i can hopefully get up in the morning to go to muay thai
Hope everyone has a lovely day/night
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Amen sister 
Iām glad you got your thoughts out. Thatās something worth reading right there. Never apologize for speaking your mind. Weāre all learning from each other, so keep sharing the wisdom 
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422
Why is it sometimes I turn my head to look over my shoulder and my neck just goes āOh fuck no! I donāt twist like that 
ā and then Iām paralyzed for the next week?! At least Iām seeing the chiropractor on Monday.
Itās been raining nonstop for 2 days and will be at least 2 more. April showers brings no one out for dinner 
Boring shift. I hung out with some friends after work. It was nice to be social until I realized it was 12:30am and I was still wearing my uniform 
Late night winding down. Hope to fall asleep faster than last night. I tossed and turned the first couple hours which was annoying, but it didnāt leave me too tired today soā¦eh 
Have a good 24!
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@wahtisnormal Great job on keeping the sober streak through a taxing day 
@Just_Laura Sending healing vibes for your poor neck 
@s_unrelax Keeping stacking the days! Good to see you back on track 
@DanaM56 Hope you figure out why the situation with the friend bothers you so much soon. Maybe talk it through with someone?
@Butterflymoonwoman Thanks for sharing. Makes my own difficult thought processes easier to spot.
@CATMANCAM Hope your getting some more sleep and the migraine will pass soon
@Whereswaldo Nice to have you here for the journey 
@tailee17 Good job on tackling that anxiety instead of using to cope 
@Mali The days keep stacking . I hope that job of yours works out.
@JazzyS Love your Fuck It story 
Have fun with Tai Chi. Never got into it. But maybe the time will come.
143 sugar
7 UPF
14 gluten
6 dairy
2 overeating/binge
Today I will honour my satiety and hunger signals.
Yesterdayās clubbing was great fun. The DJ was great, the crowd nice.
Saturday means doing stuff around the flat and taking care of my work tools: IT. The Easter bunny has brought us tickets for Cirque du Soleil for tomorrow and I need to plan the train ride.
The birch pollen is supposed to be really high today, so Iām not really sure about any outdoor activities. On the other hand the weather is going to be spectacular. Maybe just a short walk.
My daughter is still at my motherās and will come back home sometime in the afternoon. From next week on she will be staying from Saturday to Sunday at my husbandās place. I hope this arrangement works out for us.
Definitely a long strong yoga session for today and Iām thinking about chilling with a video game later.
However the day may develop, Iām not going to cope with life through food, eating, or any other misguided behaviour. I canāt control stuff. Might as well let it be.
Have a wonderful day of peace, kindness and freedom friends 
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74 days AF checking in
Having problems with being agressive and real judging thoughts about my body and how I look. Itās bad. And I got a lot to do with the moving. And all the fragments are making me tired, cause I just moved in November and in the apartment everything wasnāt even unpacked and had itās place. Thatās it for now. I am tired and sad. Sun is shining. Got coffee. Donāt know.
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Hereās one more thing for you to packā¦ from me and so many others here. Hugs for you. To bring you comfort and joy. I understand how you can feel frustrated, sad, and tired. Iām hoping the hugs and book will help and as the day goes on youāll feel better.
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Checking in on Day 22. I made it through my work weekend without using. Its been a really tough 22 days but its for the betterā¦
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Checking in Day 1. Again. What will I do different?
Writing a list of pro and contra. Joining a meeting. Thank you all for being here 
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Day 294. Woke up tiredā¦ So hoping for a quiet relaxing day. May head down the beach for a dog walkā¦ Or just chill. Not sure. Need to do some chores like ironingā¦ Saturdays are generally the day to clean the apartment and relax. Felt quite sad last night. Not had much contact from my kids and im at the stage where I think if it doesnāt improve soon I wonāt really want it to either as Iāll be so fed up ans too much time will have passed
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1771
Weather looks wonderful today so I better get out there. Will take it easy as I feel yesterdayās bike ride a bit. It was lovely though. Met this small herd of Wisent (European Buffalo) just of the beach, right at the back of Zandvoort F1 racing track. Nice meeting yaāll!
I do feel the lack of social contact a bit. I do have some stuff lined up for next week, but Iād like to see some folks this weekend too. Five years ago I would have gone to the bar and sat and got drunk and felt lonely and miserable there. Thank god I donāt do that no more. Bloody unappealing. Never again. Have as good a day as you all can fiends. Sober and clean. Love.
@Juli1 You do know one thing friend: that drinking wouldnāt help with anything. It wouldnāt make the good day better, or a bad day less bad. Never again. Glad youāre here with us. Big hugs.
@Joyce19 Glad to see you Joyce. Itās one day at a time for all of us. What I did different this time is everything. But that took time. And conscious work. Be absolutely totally sure that drinking helps with nothing. Itās just addiction and thatās all. Work on your Recovery. Thanks for being here with us all. 
@Timetochange Have as good a day as you can friend. And take it one day at a time
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Checking in on day 30
Iāve only managed 30 days or more once before. Managed 27/28/29 many times but the magic 30 eluded me. I think because I wasnt ready to stop. Well, Iām glad I have now.
Busy weekend with the kids coming up. Enjoy it everyone!
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