Checking in day 533 alcohol free.
Had a fitness class on Saturday, lifted some weights yesterday, and playing football (soccer) with friends tonight. Fully subscribing to the “healthy body, healthy mind” mindset.
I hope you’re all having a great Monday. Well, as good as a Monday can be I guess 
Wow. There is a film in there somewhere ‘day of the wisteria’ just doesn’t sound scary tho 
I never knew how wild they could grow
Lunchtime check in on Day 45.
So it’s tax day in the US, and I waited till the last day to file. I started at 4, found a major tax mistake at 6, researched, got on the phone to my brokerage at 8 and waited 2 hours for a callback! I was getting antsy, dreaming of going to debtors prison…hehe. All the worst case stuff. But then I kept thinking: 
can’t be the first time, I’m sober I’ve got this tax crap. I used to file taxes for a living. It was still a long wait. Then I decided I was doomed….then, nope, sober, I’ve got this! The guy finally calls and was able to hop in my account and cancel a transaction before it hit my bank today and before I filed! I’m all done and even get a refund. I actually overpaid!
That thinking…the alcoholic worst-case. I want that to stop. It will because I now take responsibility. Old me would have filed an extension and, even then, waited till the last day. Nope, suck it up and get this done now. 
And I have a little bonus cheque coming and a clear mind. I’m just silly tired now. I need to find a gif. Lunch and nap now
Thanks and much love to my European friends and all who help me when I’m up at 2am and insane by afternoon
76
TW bodyfeeling
Mental breakdown tonight.
I feel I am totally losing myself if I can’t swim.
I can’t feel my body.
Edit:
Impermanence.
I am not my feelings.
Things can be solved.
Today I am already feeling better, the pain is less. I was able to work well and concentrate. Buying alcohol was not an option. I’m glad that I’m sober. Day 3. Check.
Day 9. Hard days work so going to relax with some swimming.
I was a day out 
day 37 again didn’t look at app yesterday
No smoking or alcohol
Feel great today 
also my sleeping is better , more energy , apparently i look better 
I should of quit this shit years ago 
what a prick
Hi everybody, checking in on Day 15, tired, bit fed up, but still sober thank God. It’s been alternating bright sunshine and heavy rain today, now a pleasant spring-like evening. Hope you’ve all had/are having a good & sober Monday
So sorry about shingles. I know they are painful.
There are some oatmeal bath remedies that can soothe. Congrats on sober days.
Welcome back. You are on your sobriety journey that is important.
Congrats on 90 days.
@acromouse thank you for this, it reminded me that I relapsed on binge-eating this time last week, your reply helped me to be more conscious of what I spoke about in therapy and to be kind to myself this afternoon, I appreciate you 
🩵
@Chevy55 good luck with the hardcore DIY! 
@CleanHeart congrats on 50 days 
@Trixie1 congrats on 7 months
@Mindofsobermike congrats on 5 months
@Lighter congrats on filing your taxes 
and the refund 
1344 days no alcohol.
809 days no cocaine.
324 days no vape.
4 days no binge-eating.
Woke early, caught-up here. Bathed/showered.
Walked to the bus stop. Caught the bus into the city centre. Went to Starbucks. Then walked to therapy.
Therapy wasn’t too heavy today. We mostly spoke about my anxiety and depression, and my frustration at how I just can’t push through my blocks from doing the things I want and need to do.
Walked to the bus station, caught the bus home. Had healthy real food for lunch.
Refilled my meds for the week.
Then I’ve just been chilling with my cats and feeling quite peaceful for a change.
I’ve done some meditations, now I’ve caught-up here.
Psychologist cancelled our session tomorrow, haven’t seen her for 4 weeks, but it’s taken some anxiety away, because I would have had to get a taxi straight home, and drive to my hometown for my Asthma review. I was quite anxious due to how close together the appointments were, but it should have been doable, but now I only have to worry about my Asthma review in my hometown.
🩵
2y2m2d
Love the triple 2s for my timer Im doing alright today. A bit tired from having to do the awake overnight shift with my son last night, but surprisingly not as tired as i thot id be. I went for a coffee in the morning with my parents before they headed back to their home province. Tried a lovely Ukrainian coffee called Raf. It was very nice! I picked up my husbands cake, decorated the apartment for his birthday, and then went for a workout at the gym. Now im putting laundry away and tidying up a bit. I really have no idea where im getting this energy lol I will probably end up crashing later.
Recovery wise- I was slightly overstimulated yesterday with the long visit with my parents. Even tho it was really nice to see them, i needed some down time. I did have a craving to use after they left but then ended up coming across a video of something and it jolted me out of that thinking.
Health wise- I did do well yesterday with my eating BUT binged on the overnight. Not happy about that. However, what i am happy about is that i didnt carry those feelings of guilt into today. I looked at today as a brand new day (bcuz thats what it is) and focused on healthy eating and exercise as usual. So im proud of myself for that.
Other than that, not much else to say. Its been a busy day and i look forward to celebrating my husbands birthday later on.
Have a great day/evening everyone!
Checking in day 105 AF
Hello all, checking in on just turned Day 22. Had a migraine earlier so that didn’t help my need to check in regularly. Life feels a little hard at the moment and feeling very middle aged (not meant in a negative way, just struggling to adjust health wise).
I am not sure if i have shared this here yet or not, I share it with my sponsees and at meetings all the time. It’s important for other people to hear and know. I too had thoughts, not obsessive thoughts those went in my first year, but thoughts just the same, everyday. Finally just before my 4 year anniversary the daily thoughts went away. I still have them lots, and sometimes I even go into detail about how amazing life would be if i just didnt have any pain.
Thats why I go to meetings all the time, i need to see with my eyeballs how BRUTAL it is when people relapse. I need to be reminded with my earholes the absolute devestation and powerlessness we come to when we cant stop picking up. I am an addict there is no doubt about it and it seems like no matter what I do that is just a part of who I am. It comes with me wherever I go. My only hope in staying clean is keeping my spirit bright, and keeping myself reminded of what will happen to me.
Im not sure theres anything wrong with what youre doing Dana, and if youre anything like me that voice will still be there when you are working on your 5th year so keep your gloves up. 
Congrats on your 5 months my friend. I saw the acknowledgement you received for your service. How cool is that? Super happy for you and where you are at in your journey, crazy journey hey?
Much love
@icebear Great to see you Drew -1038 days is fantastic work. Your presence is always lovely and appreciated. Hope you are doing well.
@joyce19 OOF man I’m so sorry. Sending you soothing and healing energy. I do hope you are not in a lot of pain and that you are able to heal quickly. Great work on your day 3! 
Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better.
@jennyH congrats on your 3+ weeks Jenny! Way to play the tape forward and decide to stick it out with us. I am so sorry to hear about your Gallbladder attack. I do hope you are able to get the testing necessary done and schedule the surgery. Sending you comfort as I know how scary it can be trying to mentally prepare for a surgery.
@dmcg1987 great to see you checking in David and congrats on your 5+ months of sobriety. Keep up the amazing work
@mno ah man the crappy weather doesn’t help when you are not feeling 100%. I do hope that you were able to turn your day around Mno 
Always lovely to read your posts and see your pictures
@jonachav123 Welcome back Jonathan and a huge congrats on your day 1. It takes a lot of strength to get started… we are here to help support and cheer you on as you stack up the days.
@catmancam Thanks Cam – it does feel good and makes me feel alive to be able to move more these days. I do hope your therapy session went well today. Sending you loads of love my friend… a big hug for you 
Hope that depression leaves your side. Glad you are feeling more at peace today.
@laner glad you are here and feeling better today. Oof that nasty belief system is a doozy and it is hard to train your mind to see it in another light but I try to remind myself that I am human each day and that it is ok to feel any and all the emotions without shame. Some days this is harder for my mind to grasp and accept but it feels like the more I repeat it - I then have more days of not feeling weak due to my emotional state. I hope that made sense.
@chevy55 Oy vey is damn straight. Hope you had had your coffee this morning before you fun started. I hope your sons friend is safe and located soon. Good luck with all the home projects at your dad’s – be safe yourself! Hopefully you are starting to feel better Nick.
@cleanheart WOWZERS – check you out with 50 days! Great work friend. Keep up the great work
@here.i.am Great to see you checking in Kelly and with 5 + years! That is some impressive work — keep fighting the good fight
@shel75 Great to see you friend. Sorry you have been feeling off lately. Wonderful job of talking yourself through the urges and aftermath and choosing sobriety. I am glad you will be getting a beach vacation soon – lovely to unwind and relax. I do hope you take lots non alcoholic beverages like la croix or ginger ale or juices to make fruit mocktails so that you always have something in hand (helps me not feel the FOMO). We will be here for you as well if you should feel overwhelmed with the amount of drinking around you. Have a solid plan set in place so that you are not caught off guard
@trixie1 Lovely to see your name pop up and wow – great work on 7 months friend. That is impressive work – keep up the solid efforts
This was good to read and a great reminder of how we need to listen to our bodies and not push ourselves to a limit where our guards are too exhausted to help us fight the urges.
@noshame Not giving up is a graet attitude. We are here if you need to talk to us Hope your day got better Matt
@tailee17 LOL yes that is an alarming reminder first thing in the morning – so glad that your surgery is getting closer tho – hope you have a good recovery set up for post surgery at home. 48 days and going strong. Sending you healing vibes throughout.
@just_laura 
oh wow that is a story for sure. I did not realize they could do so much damage. Glad that it is cleared up and under control for the most part.
@mindofsobermike 5 months is amazing work Mike! This is impressive work and great to see you doing so well in your sobriety.
@lighter WOW you have had a day for sure Marie. Glad you got the taxes done and filed. I have never attempted to do taxes myself – good for you. I handle everyone’s accounts for everything except the final yearly taxes stuff. I do get all my stuff for the businesses to my accountant 1st week of January and all personal stuff for all my family members by Feb 1st and we literally finalized personal taxes today for the last family member. I used to get antsy about the time it took and waiting till the last minute (last year we even had to put in for an extension) but now I could care less LOL – I’m sober and I know it will all get done in time.
@juli1 Things can be solved my friend. I am sorry that your body feeling is overwhelming and causing you to not swim. Take a deep breath Jules. Remember you are a strong vibrant woman. You are dealing with a lot of stresses right now – just remember to be gentle with yourself. Sending you strength and love.
Hello my most beautiful darlings, im checking in at a few days over 4 years sober. I didnt even realize it because I havent checked in for a long time. 
I’ve been rather miserable and that’s okay. I wish myself that I keep finding the courage to take full responsibilty for all of my thoughts and actions, which is the hardest thing to do sometimes but the only way to free myself from the misery I create for myself. I wish myself that I love myself enough to never deal with pain through self-abuse again but by allowing the pain to come and allowing the pain to stay and allowing the pain to go. I wish myself thicker skin and that my efforts may pay off sometime.