I’m sorry about the issues with your family.
Unfortunately I do recognize myself a bit in it.
I have pretty much the same feelings about my own Ma, for various reasons.
I mostly spend some time with her, and tries to get her out of the house,or listen to her drunk calls out of obligation more than anything else. However I don’t really have the heart to hang up on her when I know she’s drunk and lonely either.
One of my sister’s and her family is there alla the time. Eating for free (Ma pays) using her as a Babysitter,drives her car for free, you know just like a bunch of freeloaders. And yet it’s either me or my brother who needs to fix things at Ma’s house,help her with important papers and all, which she just takes for granted that we’ll do.
It’s annoying to say least. Because of that, and many other reasons I pretty much stopped caring about her opinion of my life. It’s a complete new feeling of freedom, and it feels good.
I’ve always been the reliable, dependable, never requiring help guy that gets everything done in the family. My two sisters are a bit of train wrecks and my mom is just too narcissistic and couldn’t be bothered to be there for anything or anyone, other than her animals…Just to have her …. Aaah I could go on Sophie, but no point. lol.
But I hear ya, and I empathize. Happy you’ve learned to just move past it.
Exactly. I’m unsure how a mother could be so out of touch to not know her son had a drinking problem for over 30 years… when I told her that I just past 90 days sober yesterday, she just said, “oh, well that’s good I guess. But you’ve never really drank much” .
The last girl I pursued had BPD, Depression, PTSD from rape; was adopted and went through foster care - Kicked out of home at 16, 2 abusive partners, dismissive avoidant personality - Huge commitment issues and a victim complex and Daddy issues. And it was so hard to tell if she was being honest to the point where if I saw her in a restaurant, I would pray to god I wasn’t the only first aider in the room just in case she needed the Heimlich manoeuvre… Because I simply would have no idea if she genuinely needed it or if it was an attention seeking thing, could set off her ptsd, she’d probably sue because of the damage that gets caused after such a maneouver…
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and give me advice! I actually used to do a bit of meditation in early recovery and then slowly stopped. For what reason… idk lol But i think ill listen to this and see if it helps! Thanks so much!!!
this made me laugh. I too go for the authentic feeling these days – especially for the high ceiling areas. OMG – so adorable. Thank you son for me. What a lovely conversation to read @just_laura Happy Birthday to your daughter. I am sure she feels the love today I am so very sorry for the bull shit you are having to deal with – insurance companies can be such a pain in the ass but when its their own fault they take their sweet time to handle it. It is absolutely frustrating and I can understand you feeling overwhelmed and emotional over it. Grateful your bills are paid off and you are focusing on the positives. Sending you good happy vibes my friend. @mrfantastik Way to go on seeing the addict mind at play and not risking your sobriety. Impressive 125 days Marty. Keep up the amazing work @apes2020 April you are here and you have climbed out of the rabbit hole and that in itself is a feat. Keep up the great work friend – we are here for you. @2JTravNZ woot woot 2 days of no nicotine! That’s amazing work Travis. I know my motivation and energy levels were low when I quit smoking. Keep pushing forward and be gentle with yourself. @cleanheart Way to go with your 40 days friend – you should be proud of yourself Safe travels home. @lotusflower great timers Des. I love reading that you are experiencing the benefits of sobriety. That is fantastic sending you comfort in getting through next week. Congrats on the new work! @misokatsu so lovely to see you checking in Flo. You were missed 1333 days is impressive work. Grateful you were able to shoo away those fleeting thoughts and still have a healthy fear of what a slip could mean. Keep up the great efforts @dresdenlapage Congratulations! Wow new babies always brighten up the day. Such amazing news! Sending luck your way – hope you get the job @moosetracks WOOT WOOT 19 months and days away from 600 days is incredible work. Love that you are living a free life Keep up the great work @john_connor1337 great advice from your therapist. I found that self compassion and self care were and are vital to my sobriety. If you ever feel like you are losing momentum, then please lean in and ask for support – here and in real life. Keep stacking up the days!
Yeah YOU! Absolutely love this Kenny. I see you stacking up the days and spreading your support and positivity. Keep up the amazing efforts @bones_80 There it is – great work Ian!! 500 days and stacking up the days like a champ! Hope you are feeling better friend @juli1 Ah hell Jules – I’m sorry the situation got worse. I do hope that the lawyer and your friend area able to help out with the situation Do hope you are able to rest tonight. @earnit So sorry about the depression friend. Yes you are Alive and you are recovering from the accident. Grateful you don’t have a desire to drink. Sending you comfort and hugs. @hayleylujah Turn off the phone so you don’t feel anxious as this friend keeps pushing you to come out. I can totally remember the restlessness of it all and not knowing which way was up. Wanting to crawl out of my skin cause I couldn’t focus on anything. I found that playing games on my phone while watching mindless tv (shows I had already seen so I didn’t need to pay attention) helped me – would also walk around the room in intervals. Do whatever you need to and know that it does pass. Keep checking in or reading through the threads – this may help you as well. You are not alone friend – amazing work on throwing out the weed and bits @snailer.26 welcome to the community and the thread friend. Great work on your 8 days. Sorry that you are struggling at the moment. I do hope that going home and keeping yourself busy with housework and such will help get you feeling better. If you have time, read through threads here and join in – feel free to vent and scream – that is what we are here for. Remember that this will pass and you will be stronger for stacking up the days
Checking in on Friday night
471 days free of alcohol and weed
886 days free of cigarettes
Happy Friday everyone… hope you all had a fantastic day. I am grateful that it was a smooth day. I did have a few good cries and that helped.
Tomorrow is the first Saturday in April so it’s Hash Bash here. OOF - what a crazy day. Glad i will not be anywhere near the Diag tomorrow to inhale all that smoke. We will be busy for lunch so that is good
My sister is coming to visit for the weekend. Will be nice to see her - this is the longest i’ve gone without seeing her (its been over 6 weeks). Supposed to be a sunny beautiful weekend too so that will be good.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love.
@Hayleylujah sorry to hear it’s been rough but welcome back,I’m glad you’ve got some support from family, sending strength 🩵 @Butterflymoonwoman I’ve read the first 3 chapters, and so far I’m finding it easy to take in, I really like how he re-caps at the end of each chapter too, and I did my walk today for the first time in about 6 weeks! @Just_Laura gah, that’s infuriating! 90 fkin days I hope you had a nice afternoon with your daughter and can get some rest now before her party @apes2020 welcome back 🩵 @2JTravNZ good to read from you, feel better soon 🩵 and congrats on 2 days smoke-free @MrsOdh I’m glad you got some reassurance today 🩵 @CleanHeart congrats on 40 days and getting through the hotel stay @Lotusflower good luck with the lawyer, and the new school @Misokatsu good to read from you I’m glad work mode is making you feel better 🩵 @DresdenLaPage congrats on the birth of your baby niece and nephew good luck for the new position and I hope things go well for you romantically 🩵
@MooseTracks congrats on 19 months @Bones_80 congrats on 500 days @Juli1 sending you strength 🩵 I hope you find a good lawyer to break free from this highly stressful situation asap @Snailer.26 welcome congrats on 8 days @JazzyS enjoy the catch-up with your sister 🩵
1334 days no alcohol.
799 days no cocaine.
314 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Only slept for 2hrs last night, so I am very tired and have a bad migraine that appears to be resistant to any of my usual attempts to make them go away. Hoping for better sleep tonight.
I read 2 chapters of the new book, meditated, went for my walk for the first time in about 6 weeks, reflected on my disordered-eating relapse, and now I’ve caught-up here.(After falling asleep at 7:30pm, waking-up at 11pm, then coming here, and it’s now 1:35am).
Feeling quite sad today. No mativation whatsoever. Emotions are all over the place. Have a big family gathering tomorrow and really not looking forward it.
2y1m23d
Im finally beginning to feel more myself and have some energy. Overall today has been really good. My son got his new wheelchair, which is a perfect fit for him. I was able to do some self care and then made tacos for supper. Ive been chatting with my friend and shes doing well where shes at and getting things figured out. So thats great news too! I work this weekend so im preparing for that. Will try to do some light meditation before bed tonight to see if that helps me fall asleep quicker. But im not going to take my sleeping pill again tonight bcuz i found it helped me with my energy levels during the day today. Thats about it for me Have a great day/night everyone!
Thanks @Mno@K_S@JazzyS@CATMANCAM for the support and birthday girl wishes I can’t believe she’s 10! We did have a nice afternoon together. She loved all her gifts even though she knew what was coming. I remembered I had a $50 Amazon giftcard so I let her pick out a few more things. We had cake at my parents after lunch. It was a nice little afternoon. Here she’s showing off some gifts (all is new). She’s a fairy now
The rest of the night was boring. Slow friday, but I honestly didn’t mind bc I’m still tired. So grateful of how I can sit and feel bored and not turn to alcohol to liven things up, or use it to perk me up. I can hear and listen to my body and give it what it needs. Sleep
Just day 2 for me but feeling happy that I’m finally making a positive change in my life. Gonna spend today doing a bit of DIY in the spare room I started ripping out yesterday. Going to also have a drive out somewhere and take the dog for a good walk.
Yesterday there were gluten free bread rolls offered at breakfast. I wanted to try them out but didn’t consider that they were obviously in the ultra processed food category. I’m resetting my counter then in order to stay consistent. Today I’ll keep to rice waffles.
Today is our last day in Arnhem. We’ll visit the open air museum. Looking forward to the great weather.
One day at a time, let’s stay in peace, in kindness, and in freedom
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this made me laugh. I too go for the authentic feeling these days – especially for the high ceiling areas. OMG – so adorable. Thank you son for me. What a lovely conversation to read 
but welcome back,I’m glad you’ve got some support from family, sending strength 🩵
I hope you had a nice afternoon with your daughter and can get some rest now before her party 
Have a great day/night everyone!
I can’t believe she’s 10! We did have a nice afternoon together. She loved all her gifts even though she knew what was coming. I remembered I had a $50 Amazon giftcard so I let her pick out a few more things. We had cake at my parents after lunch. It was a nice little afternoon. Here she’s showing off some gifts (all is new). She’s a fairy now 
