39 days sober & smoke free
All good 
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Day 107
Iāve been proud of not drinking for this long, my personal best by far. The more days you have, the less likely you want to start over.
I live with pain, I have rheumatoid arthritis for 30 years now. I havenāt woken up without pain in 15 years that I can remember. My outside self is extremely pleasant and caring of others, my inside self always tries to have faith and hope.
But today, Iāve missed work. Besides what I deal with daily, I have a pinched nerve in my neck, or vertebrae shifted, if I turn my head wrong, I scream. I have a high tolerance for pain, even my surgeon told me that. But this pain is ridiculous!
Iāve dislocated my shoulder 2x in the past couple years, who knows how, but itās the same pain.
I guess what Iām getting at, today, I seriously thought about drinking. If I drank enough to pass out, the pain would stop. Maybe Iād even do something drunk to correct my neck/spine to take the pressure off. This pain has interfered with my sleeping for the past 2 nights. This will pass, as everything does, and Iāll go back to my normal.
I donāt talk often (basically never) to my friends, co workers about my RA. I donāt want to hear the: Awww.
I feel if I write this, it will strengthen my ability not to drink, just for a day. 
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Checking in on day 971. Everyday seems to be a struggle still. Daughter passed in December, been getting harassed at work everyday for being disabled, just got autopsy results back and was something so avoidable I donāt even know how to feel about it. Minds a big mess but will keep doing what I know how and thatās get through today without a drink. Hope everyone is doing well and stay safe.
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Checking in day 107 AF 
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Iām so sorry for your loss Chris. 
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Day 16. Feeling a little bit lonely. Working a lot to distract myself. Havenāt thought about going out or drinking. When I do think of it I think immediately of how tired Iāll be and cold it is, and the hangover. All the negatives spring to mind.
No energy to work out yet Iām still very much work bed work bed.
I know this isnāt great but I just feel exhausted mentally. My brain worries about what Iām gonna do with my life and where Iāll be in X amount of years. Thatās probably why I drank, to be present in the moment and switch off my brain.
Still happily here with you all however. Just waiting on the sunny days to come
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Hi Day 17 for me, still hanging in there. Forced myself to go for a swim, felt the benefit after, I find it so boring though ploughing up and down but so good for the mind & body. Will try again tomorrow. Struggling with unbidden thoughts that are used to being blocked out but are now jumping up & down for attention. However, managing to keep them at bay by LIVING IN THE MOMENT (most of the time).
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Congrats on 50 days
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Thank you. Appreciate the recognition.
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Pain used to be one of my top reasons for drinking. I started suffering lower back pain at 16 and in my 20s, it got to a point where it would seize up and I couldnāt walk. If I drank to black out, it seemed to relax me in a way that lasted a few days, so thatās how I dealt with it for years 
Itās gotten alot better since I started seeing a chiropractor 10+ years ago, but my neck has become the bigger issue now. I donāt remember the last time I woke up pain free either. I guess Iāve accepted that pain is a part of life. Iād rather feel this pain than the self inflicted pain of drinking, but either way itās lose/lose 
I donāt take much medication, unless itās absolutely debilitating, so Iām addicted to ice packs/heating pads when it gets bad. I hope yours works itself out soon 
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Checking in Day 180
āMade a conscious decision to turn our life and will over to the care of God as we understood himā
Ahā¦ that guy again. I really struggle to do this step in my daily.
God Iām so tired. Exhausted mentally from overthinking so much. Default setting = suspicion and mistrust and then anger. And I want everyone to do what I want them to do all the time and everything would be perfect if they did.
But they wonāt. Thatās not how the world works.
Itās really fun to help people along in their early days. Thereās a guy whose 2 months in who asked me something today and he tried to give me advice on the situationā¦ Bless him, he means well but definitely needs to slow down and cover his step 3 before he tries to solve my issues lol
That sense of wanting to feel useful is so strong for alcoholics, isnāt it?
Iām totally okay with step 3 today. Itās been fine, itās worked well so far. I feel like thereās an amends coming up because I didnāt do a daily step 3 earlier but Iāll have to cross that bridge when I come to it. This was definitely a two way street where I came off worse butā¦ did I? I donāt know. Itās a question for my sponsor, Iām sure.
Iām feeling the promises today but damn, when they said āSometimes quickly, sometimes slowlyā they shouldāve said āā¦but usually slowlyā
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Day 100 AF
Day 218 cocaine Free
Hey all! Work has been going well! Thankful to be back in a position were I can do what I am trained for! Adjusting to the new schedule will come slowly! I have missed alot on this thread I hope everyone is doing well! Peace and blessings 
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@ashley_luvz_starz great work on your smoke free timer too ā Kicking ass all around 
@just_laura I have also noticed a pattern of majority of us syncing on bad days or sleepless nights etc. I do hope you are feeling more rested today. OOF ā the $$ issues are insane ā grateful you were able to clear it up but Iām sure it took time out of your day to do so. Hoping for a better easier day ahead!
@catmancam How are you doing today Cam. Sending you love my friend ā hope your trip to your momās gravestone went well 
@mrsodh 50 days WOOT WOOT great work Sophia! Keep up the amazing efforts. This is very exciting news indeed ā I hope your visit to City Hall goes well. How cool of you to put this together. I love your village too
@laner Sorry that you are unwell and dealing with the flu. Sending healing vibes and hope you get better soon. Great work on 13 days
@whereswaldo Yes 1 month and going strong my friend. 
Keep stacking up the days
@chevy55 oh man Iām sorry Nick ā I do know that can be a bear to deal with. I do hope that you are getting over this episode and are not in too much pain.
@PsychoDramaQueen Welcome to the community friend. Great work on your 5 days of sobriety. Grateful you are healing from your seizure (I know they can be very scary). Keep checking in with us.
@wahtisnormal Sorry for the lack of sleep and your long day. Sending you strength and hope your day is going well Zoe
@jonase oh man that sucks about the hospital. Sorry that your mom has to wait longer for her operation ā do hope they are able to reschedule quickly. 20 days is amazing work ā 3 weeks tomorrow Do work on the self care friend ā it is a wonderful gift for yourself ā especially during recovery.
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Day 111.
Going good.
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Sincere condolences for your daughters passing Chrisšš½
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Thanks Jazzy,
All good. Got an online appt with a doc and got some cream to put in 2-3 times daily for next couple weeks, but she thinks it is clearing up.
Did get to gym, tough after 5 days awayā¦ but survived and now a truck full of tools loaded and ready for push off for a 2.5 hour journey to fathers to do some construction work in the early a.m.
Take care and thanks for noticing friend
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For real, my friend, for real.
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@tailee17 YIPPEE 50 days is amazing work Lam 
keep up the amazing work ā this is totally something to be very proud of
@butterflymoonwoman How is your day going Dana? Glad that you are able to see how your thoughts are treating you and are able to talk yourself in a different direction (hoping that it worked). Good luck with getting the stove up and working 
I totally get this and it is hard to move on from the notion at times. You are doing amazingly well in your sober journey friend and I think you should take this time to just concentrate on you. I know I learned a lot about myself in the early days and it would not have been possible if I was in a relationship. Glad you had a good meeting with your sponsor today.
@maxwell Hell of a job with beating your record and still going strong. I hear you on the pain and how debilitating it can be having to deal with it for so long day in and day out (where some days are so much worse than others). I am so sorry that you have to deal with it my friend. I often get the notion to just drink or get high to oblivion and just not feel it at all but I know that is a very temporary fix and in going that route I am fucking up so much more in my insides. It is a lose lose situation with a possibility of 10 minutes of peace. You do not need to resort to alcohol. Have you talked with your doctor on pain management? I am sending you much love Maxine ā hoping you have a better day 
@hillbillychris Oh Iām so sorry Chris. Itās awful that you are being harassed at work. Rude arrogant people can just FRO. I am also sorry to read about the autopsy results. Man it really does hurt knowing that it could have been avoidable but really how would you have known in that moment. Drinking will not solve anything and you have come so damn far. I see you less than a month away from quadruple digits. Be aware of milestone malady affecting you at this point too. Great to see you checking in ā so sorry for all that you are going through
@emerrick way to go with your 2+ weeks of sobriety. I was so damn exhausted at the beginning ā our bodies need time to detox and it takes time to heal. Be gentle with yourself and know that it will get easier. Stick with us friend ā we are here to cheer you on and help you when the cravings get hard. ODAAT
@Chevy55 Oh thatās good to hear. Glad you were able to get a hold of a doctor. Good luck with your projects at your dadās place.
Checking in on Wednesday
It has been a good day i guess. I moved about a bit more today and was able to notice when my body needed rest. Grateful that i got my nails cut (it takes forever to get down to the skin). My itchy sensations have been crazy high lately and i need to make sure that i canāt hurt myself with my nails LOL. Have my doctors appointment with new doctor tomorrow so hoping that goes well and looking forward to a new perspective.
Grateful for getting new 9V batteries - i have been using the hell out of my TENS machine - it is the only way i can walk upright and i feel like i have it on for 6 + hours a day. They say i can use multiple times in a day and i am hoping i am not overdoing it.
Well - going to relax and enjoy the rest of the day ā i do love the longer days (all for more sunshine). Hope you all have a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
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@JazzyS hey friend, Iām okay, just feel sad and emotionally heavy, the flowers were really pretty and it was nice to chat with my brother for a while. Thank you for asking. I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow 
š©µ
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@acromouse thank you š©µ Iām struggling with my Asthma and allergies too atm, but I cough more in the evenings. I hope your new meds do help
@MrsOdh I love all of this for you 
and congrats on 50 days
@Laner feel better soon š©µ
@Whereswaldo congrats on 30 days
@Amy30 send that message š©µ
@PsychoDramaQueen welcome congrats on 5 days
@tailee17 congrats on 50 days
@HillbillyChris Iām sorry about the harassment, and your daughterās autopsy results sending strength š©µ
@Lotusflower congrats on triple digits AF 
Iām glad work is going well
@Tragicfarinelli congrats on all the 1s
1346 days no alcohol.
811 days no cocaine.
326 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
Apart from the numerous nightmares, I slept well last night compared to the 1hr40mins of sleep the night before.
I have been very gentle with myself today. Read one chapter. Lots of meditations.
Walked to the shopping centre and bought some flowers for my Mumās grave. I also bought the healthy lunch I like from one of the shops in there.
Met my brother in our hometown to visit our Mumās grave, stood there talking for 30mins.
Came home, Iāve done lots more meditations and both cats were on the bed with me at one point. I love it when we are all together. 
I had a mini-binge (compared to my usual ones) but my counter has been reset just as it would if I had one line or one drink.
Now Iāve caught up here.
Tomorrow I meet with the guy in a non-professional capacity, that I met for a chat about a month ago, in relation to sexual addictions and my fears around ever re-engaging. The chat was nice last time. Iām a bit nervous again but it will be okay.
š©µ
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