Hi sweet friend,
I will have a swim tonight, maybe 3hour ticket.
Right now I am laying on couch not being able to switch to the mat for a simple yoga stretch.
Maybe I will do a walk through the field.
My mind wants to analyse the feelings, but I am just stuck. Don’t know.
@Chevy55 I actually wasn’t particularly close to any of the classmates that passed, it just seems like a shocking number that is making me think. I like the idea of just being though. Accepting where I am right now.
@Mno That is also a good way to look at it, thank you.
@acromouse In a general way, I agree, there is no contradiction. But I am mostly thinking, should I appreciate the good things about my husband and stay in the marriage, or should I make a change and leave? In that way, it is one or the other.
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 53
Current weather sun is shining and it’s snowing at the same time. Surreal.
I’m starting to loose count of the days,needs to double check every time.
It doesn’t feel quite as important to count anymore, not this time. The importance is that I’m here and checking in every morning.
Yesterday we had a nice time grocery shopping. We went to another city than usual. Kids where not pleased with that, so next week we’re going back to our usual city instead.
We took it easy checking around, I bough some vegan protein powder, and we stopped at a local café to get some homemade gelato.
Today we’re going to a 70 years celebration of the local country/folk dance group that my 14 y/o is a part of.
He and his 3 friends are the only teens. The other members are between 60-99 years old.
Then our local mechanic guy has decided that he’s going to come over for a bbq.
Even seen the old Disney Show Tales Spin?
You know Baloos friends the odd but skilled mechanic Wildcat?
Picture him but human and you get this guy.
He is kind, but get a bit much from time to time.
He’s also a teetotaler and has never had a drink in his life. Which is great for both of us.
That’s all Folks.
Wishing y’all a happy Saturday 
429
Late night check-in. Hanging with a friend and didn’t want to forget. Hope you all have a great 24!
Day 13
I’m grateful for the happiness getting in these days. One day at a time 
@Misokatsu @Mno’s words on happiness really resonate with me here. I’m right now in the middle of a separation with my husband and after all the struggles and our inability to change the relationship from the inside I am slowly getting to the point where I’m thinking: “I need happiness too.” I’m very grateful for all I had in the marriage, but I also don’t want to live the next 40 years like that. It’s frightening after all that time, but it’s time for a big change. I hope you have people around you who can help you talk and think your situation through 
@MrsOdh My daughter used to be in a folk dancing group too. She loved the costumes and performances. She left when there was no one her age around. Happy to hear your boy has friends his age there.
@Juli1 I hope you’ll get to that swim and it will help you process your emotions through movement. I know that’s how I work. My thoughts and feelings need to go through my body first. Also breathing exercises and meditation helps me a lot. Sending love and healing your way 
@CATMANCAM Let’s start back on track together 
@Chevy55 Wow, that’s quite a lot of work you did there. Impressive! I wouldn’t even know where to start 
@DresdenLaPage What a wonderful situation to experience. There is so much hope in it. Thanks for sharing with us.
@Steve14 Hope your sleep gets better soon. Bad sleep is so draining on everything. Sending you sleepy vibes 
@sober26 Welcome back on the sober track 
@Butterflymoonwoman I very much hope the situation with the nurses improves. Not being able to sleep at night is such an immense drain. And don’t be hard on yourself about eating at night. Sleep deprivation is one of the main triggers for messing with satiety and hunger. I’m sending you strength and praying for the universe to come through with a better solution for your nights 
150 sugar
14 UPF
21 gluten
0 dairy
0 overeating/binge
I slept surprisingly well enough after yesterday’s dairy experiment but already woke up with all kinds of aches and pains as expected. I’m very glad I can start healing.
Today I’m going to take things very slowly and give my poor body time to heal. Turtle mode for sure 
I’m going to take care of my daily working tools aka IT. My plants also need care and water.
So today is going to be care day for everyone and everything: bodies, minds, systems, and all beings.
I don’t need any compulsive eating behaviours to take care of anything. On the contrary. That wouldn’t be care taking. Don’t need that today.
Have a wonderful day of peace and kindness and freedom today friends 
I’d say that he is more friends with the elderlies than his own age group.
He hangs out with kids his ages as well of course, but he likes the elderly people and their stories better.
Probably because history is his mayor interest.
(Preferably military history, but everything history goes)
1778 The comfrey on my balcony is doing pretty good atm.
Great job 
your father looks very happy
Hey Juli.
Sending strength. Here to talk if you want to. Don’t give up. Everything passes, just feel your way thru this… Try to find what the real deep down issues are, so that you can see any solution or actions . Journal or meditate to try and get outside your head. Hugs
Day 301. Went to a work meal last night where folks had cocktails and wine. I had diet coke. All good.
Started the day with a dog walk along the beach
Day 6 went well overall.
Work went well.
It was after work thag I felt so utterly exhausted and stressed out just trying to keep up with daily life responsibilities. Felt crippling. Plus I havent been getting enough sleep the past few days so it was physical exhaustion on top of mental and emotional exhaustion. Thought I had to work tomorrow and get a bunch of stuff done before then, but realized someone asked to take my shift. Felt an instant weight off my shoulders.
All I wanted was to just chill. To just have time to relax and do something I enjoy and not have to worry about what needs to get done or feel lkke I’m in a time crunch. And I got to spend lots of time doing that tonight thank god. I needed it. Ive gotten into Stardew Valley lately so I spent a lot of time playing that, and taking much needed personal time alone. Feels like ive just been in a cycle of work, sleep, repeat. Never ends.
Overall not a bad day. Was thinking about alcohol while I was at work, but ironically, after work for the rest of the day I didnt have a single craving. Which was another relieving thing, not having to deal with that.
Day 106 AF,
There was a time not that long ago whereas on Saturday my eyes wouldn’t see the light of day till at least 10am, then they were groggy, stuck closed and looking for a greasy breakfast before flopping on the chair for the day bemoaning my bad decisions and wishing I could get motivated in any way.
Retired with lots of time, apparently to lay around ion my arse many days not moving forward!!
That day is no longer my day! Today I awake, refreshed after 8 hours sleep and two hard days of labour. Watching the sunrise, enjoying morning coffee and looking forward to the gym and a heathy smoothie for breakfast!
That change we all chose to make is a doorway! A doorway to a better version of the life we choose to live. I am going to embrace that life and I hope you all can as well friends.
Here’s to an amazing, sober Saturday
I love this.
For anyone.
140 days
Busy day. Good day
On the gi since 7am. 10pm now, time to chill.
Work tomorrow
Awwww @Chevy55 … Thank you for sharing this.
It absolutely made my day. Thank you.
Edit: and so did seeing your dad waving and smiling at you from his new deck.
He looks so happy and proud of his son. That really made me very emotional and brought tears to my eyes.
Glad you’re able to do the work for your dad and spend time with him. Those are the moments that count.
Thanks again for sharing
Aww, thank you Anne and you are very welcome.
The world needs more smiles and wave hello’s in it. More hugs and positivity. I need to work more to ensure they happen.
I think its a bit of both. Fear and anger are useful, run rampant they rule ones life. But I am a firm believer fear and anger are good to feel, dont ignore them or try to push them away BECAUSE you fear or dont want to feel them or are skipping straigbt to the belief that they are toxic if we become consumed by them. Stand in front of them, with square shoulders, with help, with support, with a blanket. Take their hand, ask them questions, get to know them, see the softness in them - and do your best to hold and guide them.
Good morning beautiful people.
My best friend and I are on our minibreak. Got in last night at the exact same moment. A lot of good laughs, she made a great dinner last nigbt and its just so nice to be together. She is a massive Taylor Swift fan, so we’re listening to her new album. She mentioned to me how last time we weere together the word I kept using was “interesting”, and now the word Im using is “fantastic”. I never even noticed but I am saying it a lot and we keep laughing so hard about it, but she says how its so positive she loves it and how she left last time calling everything interestinf and now shes going to go home saying fantastic.
I am goinf to try to quit smoking. I dont know if its a good idea but therres that doubt bullshit going on. Im following Allen Carr, and I have downloaded the hynosis app a member recommended AND i find dping pushups when I have a craving helps. Im just SO FUCKING tired of smoking. Okay. Here go. Im going to check in on here when i get a craving and vent so if tou see me going crazy, thats me hi. Xo.
Day 50!
I like it. And I like sleeping, too! Had two nights of good sleep in a row. What a relief 
I love it. I might even be functional before long.
Fine gloomy morning. I need to linger a bit and drink coffee. The sober Saturday mornings without any pressure are blissful.
