Checking in on day 178.Hope everyone is well!!Happy Friday!!
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Day 33 check in. Itās Saturday morning 6:30am. Have a great weekend!
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2y2m6d
Idk what to do right now. Im feeling very overwhelmed. I just received a call from my sons overnight nurse scheduler and there is currently no coverage for Mon, Tue, Wed, Fri and Sun. Thats 5 overnight shifts im expected to stay awake for. Im overwhelmed and actually feel really nervous and scared about how my mental and physical health will become after not sleeping. Thankfully i dont feel like using drugs when being awake all night (like I used to) but i do tend to binge eat bcuz im tired and im trying to keep myself awake. This will certainly be a test for me if they cant find someone. They are reaching out to another organization to see if they have potential nurses that can train over the weekend and fill those shifts. Im praying that they can do their job well and that someone can cover. Its sooo last minute tho so idk. We shall see. I just needed a place to vent about this. Im tired of literally being tired. I need to really lean on my HP right now.
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I am so sorry Dana - this is so very frustrating. I do hope that they are able to come up with some solution for at least some of the days.
I am surprised at how these folks operate. They know how essential it is to provide the service and they seem to leave you hanging quite often. Really burns me to see it. I am sorry that you have to deal with it first hand.
Grateful that you do not feel the urge to use after the all night shifts. They of course take a lot outta you. That is totally understandable. Sending you loads of energy and hoping that things work out in your favor. 
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Day 1.5 free.
Tomorrow morning will be 2 days.
I looked at my history and my average is 100 days now between relapses. Recently itās been more like 30 days but running past 5 relapses is about 100 days average.
For that Iām very grateful.
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Iāve also decided that a weekly meeting is what I will do no matter what and keep at it.
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Checking in on this Friday evening. Glad the week is over and tomorrow will be a short day at work. Just a few things to finish up that I didnāt get to today. Sleep has been bad this week and itās hitting me today. Only got a couple hours last night. Hopefully tonightās better and Iām able to sleep in a bit tomorrow. Not much else planned for the weekend as of yet so maybe just avlow key couple of days. Hoping everyone has a nice weekend.
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.1662. Today, for the first time in 4 years, I wanted to get drunk. I donāt understand where this comes from. Drove these thoughts away from myself.
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Glad you were able to shoo those thoughts away! 4+ years of sobriety is amazing work ā great to see the tools are still helping you.
Beautiful view 
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Checking in 6 months today!
Iām going to repeat this from the āGoing to a meeting 
ā thread
I thought I was just being rewarded today with my blue 6 month chip but my reward was so much bigger because today, by the grace of God, I witnessed a damn miracle.
Step 1: āAdmitted we were powerless to alcohol - Our lives had become unmanageableā
A couple months back, there was a woman who came to this meeting who was quite badly physically injured from one of her drunks. I wouldnāt put her past 40, she was visibly tired, in pain and an emotional wreck. She came twice and then didnāt see her again - spoke to her both times briefly and just found her to be a sweet nature. Anywayā¦ Someone said to me today āI wonder if sheāll be back this weekā and I said āShe hasnāt been for a while but letās hope soā. I was chatting to someone at the coffee table and as I look to my left, there she is walking through the door with a half broken right foot and fully broken soul making a b line for me. I asked her how she was and how her weeks been - Not great. Without prompting, she said āIve had enough, Josh - I donāt think I can do this on my ownāā¦ She was definitely in the right place.
Iām proud of my 6 month chip. But being the first person someone makes a b line for in a room which can be bloody daunting in someoneās toughest timeā¦ my god, that is an absolute honour.
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End of day 105 AF
Finally home and headed to my own bedā¦ such happiness!!
Two days at fatherās building his stage one of deck. My wife and elderly aunt helping. Got it almost as far as I wished too but couldnāt do the top decorative pieces on top of posts to tie them together nor get spindles out in on railing but they are all cut, 60 of them and ready, but next time. Ramp is temporary as that side needs to be excavated for better drainage and then will put a deck about 8āx 50ā right to his shed so he can wheel right back there. Thatās another time and I will need more labor for building purposesā¦ now the wife wants me to put a lower deck off of our waterside deck, oy No good deed goes unpunished I guess.
Anyway, did I say exhausted 
, but gym day tomorrow to hit er hard as well as weigh in day in morning. Not sure how this will go being away for two days, but I tried to eat as well as I could considering.
Today was a start at 6am, home at 9:30pm, 15.5hrs going hard so hopefully that bodes well for scale as had about a 13 hour go day day before.
Enjoy your night TS fam, a parting wave from my father enjoying his new deck in the sun shine!!
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Day 558
Getting ready for bed. Itās been a long week. No days off until Wednesday though. So I guess Iām halfway through
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Nice job! It looks great.
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You can get a sponsor day 1. Dont wait. Getting a sponsor and working the steps does miracles!
Congrats on the job!!
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Iām checking in for today. Still sober.
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81 days
Not even 8 am, sadness and aggression is kicking in already. I am done 
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@Jazzy thank you 
I havenāt looked at them yet but planning to make a start today, would be nice to feel some tears but they donāt come easily. Iām so glad your appointments gave you some new hope š©µ
@Maestro feel better soon š©µ
@tailee17 wishing you the best for your surgery on Monday 
š©µ
@Juli1 congrats on 80+ days 
can you get out for a swim/yoga? Sending calming vibes 
@Wakikki I hope this is a turning point for you 
š©µ
@Shel75 I hope youāre able to enjoy the good parts of your vacation 
@Butterflymoonwoman thatās so hard 
I would say youād need to get as much sleep as possile during the days and evenings, put everything else off until youāve recovered from this. Also, could you make a complaint at a higher level, because this really is not good enough from them! Plan some healthier night-time meals to eat so you donāt feel as.bad about your eating, you definitely do need to eat to stay awake when itās not natural to so donāt give yourself a hard time over this. 
š©µ really hoping atleast some of the shifts get covered
@sober26 welcome back congrats on 1.5 days
@DresdenLaPage congrats on 6 months
@Chevy55 nice work! 
1348 days no alcohol.
813 days no cocaine.
328 days no vape.
1 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterdayās numbersā¦
Feeling more recovered from my binges now.
Spent the whole evening until 9pm at my dadās yesterday. We ate pizza, I had a thin crust gluten free one and declined dessert.
Now itās time to get focused and on track.
Today Iāve woken up bright and early, Iām going to start looking through the photos my dad dropped off on Thursday. No other plans for the weekend apart from running the hoover over.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
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Hi sweet friend,
I will have a swim tonight, maybe 3hour ticket.
Right now I am laying on couch not being able to switch to the mat for a simple yoga stretch.
Maybe I will do a walk through the field.
My mind wants to analyse the feelings, but I am just stuck. Donāt know.
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@Chevy55 I actually wasnāt particularly close to any of the classmates that passed, it just seems like a shocking number that is making me think. I like the idea of just being though. Accepting where I am right now.
@Mno That is also a good way to look at it, thank you.
@acromouse In a general way, I agree, there is no contradiction. But I am mostly thinking, should I appreciate the good things about my husband and stay in the marriage, or should I make a change and leave? In that way, it is one or the other.
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 53
Current weather sun is shining and itās snowing at the same time. Surreal.
Iām starting to loose count of the days,needs to double check every time.
It doesnāt feel quite as important to count anymore, not this time. The importance is that Iām here and checking in every morning.
Yesterday we had a nice time grocery shopping. We went to another city than usual. Kids where not pleased with that, so next week weāre going back to our usual city instead.
We took it easy checking around, I bough some vegan protein powder, and we stopped at a local cafƩ to get some homemade gelato.
Today weāre going to a 70 years celebration of the local country/folk dance group that my 14 y/o is a part of.
He and his 3 friends are the only teens. The other members are between 60-99 years old.
Then our local mechanic guy has decided that heās going to come over for a bbq.
Even seen the old Disney Show Tales Spin?
You know Baloos friends the odd but skilled mechanic Wildcat?
Picture him but human and you get this guy.
He is kind, but get a bit much from time to time.
Heās also a teetotaler and has never had a drink in his life. Which is great for both of us.
Thatās all Folks.
Wishing yāall a happy Saturday
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