@james83 That’s so nice to read how supportive your wife is. And we all have things we are used to, even if we are not addicted. Changing habits is always a bit uneasy. @Juli1 @Timetochange So nice to see how you’re being appreciated @SoberWalker@Mno Enjoy Koningsdag @AbbyNormal Your plan sounds really good and it’s good to hear you have support at home. Keep sharing your thoughts and musings. @JazzyS Hope your getting more sleep and rest today. Less stress and getting worked up. @Lighter@Cjp Yay to sober, fun and weird random people
Yesterday at game night there were all kinds of snacks - salty and sweet. I asked for them not to be placed directly in my constant line of sight. And I brought my supper with me. Whenever I then actually saw one of those snacks my brain registered for a very short moment that this was something of general interest - more then the furniture for example - but then moved on deciding that it’s nothing to be engaged with. No cravings, no internal discussions. I’m very happy about that. My brain has relearned
On the other hand I had that train of thought that I did not belong here, cause food is not a drug, that I was ok again, that I could handle life on my own, that I should stop being ridiculous and hanging around on an internet site full of addicts… On and on. Do you see a pattern? But then I read what @CleanHeart wrote: “just got to be acting like today is day 1.”
So. Today is day one. I’m a food addict. I’m powerless over compulsive eating. I don’t know how to control sugar, gluten, dairy and UltraProcessedFoods. I don’t know how to control compulsive eating if I eat without being hungry and don’t stop eating if I get satiety signals. I can not do this alone. But I’m lucky. I don’t have to do this alone. I’m not alone. I’m here. One day at a time.
And today I’m going to have a nice honey treatment for my skin. I’m going to take care of stuff in the flat, my tools and backups. There is a short groceries run I want to take, just some produce, eggs and yoghurt for my daughter. Laundry. My plants want some watering.
A short yoga session in the afternoon.
Whatever happens today, have a good day of peace, love and freedom friends
Worked, actually had time before work to chill for once and that was enjoyable
Had some urges to drink at work, particularly when my passed fiances favorite song came on and a table of people were singing along to it/clapping exactly the way he did
But got through it, relaxed at home, going to bed soon
Hope everyone has a lovely day/night wherever you are
Thanks @JazzyS, nice to meet you☺️ 6 hours is a long waiting time. I definitely would have launched the washing on the sofa after all that😂 Hope your Saturday is better.
I went for a swim and a sauna last night, came out feeling a little brain foggy. Usually a few days after drinking I’m feeling a bit brighter but struggling to lift my mood this time and temptations were strong. I ain’t giving in though.
Spring has eventually sprung in Scotland, sitting in the sun in the garden with a cup of tea.
Saturday morning with no hangover feels good.
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 59
Veteran car meet and and street fair market in our village today.
Yesterday’s visit in the city was nice, we had some ice cream/Fika.
And walked around in the mall.
Bought a shampoo bar, one of the cheap ones. Garnier ultimate blend. It smells amazing. Tried it this morning, my hair has never been this curly straight from the shower before.
So I’m going to spend money on a more expensive one without a lot of ingredients next time.
Love that it takes up almost no space and is easy to pack for travels.
Going to the veterans car met then,my nephew’s birthday party today.
After that my father in law probably comes for a visit and a couple of friends wanted to come over as well. Because they’re going on the Veteran car meet and wanted to stop buy.
She’s scary for sure, I’ve always known that.
I knew my current husband long before we got married. But when he was married with tweenies Mom I tried to avoid them both, because I didn’t get along with Tweenies mom.
When tgey broke up, and me and my husband eventually got together (It was a few years between that) they still hung out as friends. I tried to get along with her, mostly because of tweenie who was a toddler back then.
But eventually I just couldn’t pretend, and after her burning down their house a second time, and left tweenie with us for about a month without us being able to contact her at all. But still refused to let my husband have custody I had enough.
Finally I told her that I was done. That tweenie absolutely could stay with us, but I wouldn’t take anymore of her manipulation.
And after that she more or less cut contact with my husband and he didn’t got to see tweenie. Until social service called a few years ago, placed her with us, and gave my husband custody because the mother was seen as “inappropriate”
Then the real Circus started, as you know.
Currently tweenie is placed in a locked care facility home. She was out living with a foster care family with foster parents who have worked at a similar home. But she ended back in the facility because she was a danger to the other two girls already living in that home.
She’s still a danger to the other kids at the care facility home, and under constant surveillance.
She’s not allowed to come and visit us after she tried to kill our boys when she was living here.
And she doesn’t want to talk to my husband because he has a “Mean witch as a wife”.
And now this happened.
I don’t know everything around the death of her brother for sure, I only have second or third hand information from the social services who called. I don’t know anything about what the police in both countries have said, or the Danish social services. I only know the information we got yesterday.
Doesn’t make tweenies Mom less scary, in my opinion.
Checking in. Having very confusing thoughts and feelings, and hard to ground myself. Wrote to my therapist to have an extra appointment at the beginning of next week, as I don’t want to go into a wrong direction too long before realizing, that that is a dead end. I’m sure she will have some good insight about where to head to. For now I just try to distract myself. I’m still not completely healthy, but hopefully I can soon go for running again, that will surely help.
Big hugs for you, @Tomek
I’m very sorry that you are having a hard time and hope that soon it will lift and you will get to feeling better.
I imagine that you are aware of these five things that you can do to help yourself feel grounded. Regardless, here they are for you or any others.
Editing to add. What the meme means is that it’s helpful to pick out or do each of the activities the number of times listed.
147 days
Good day with the kids, took them to the gym for training. They both did really well.
Bit of shopping for groceries for the week and rode some bikes with the kids.
Back was feeling a bit better, plenty of stretching. Hopefully get to gym tomorrow morning if its not too sore.
Thanks as always @JazzyS and @acromouse not bad pain just frustrating.
I feel the same with running Tomek. It’s been too long. I never felt better than when I was on the trails. I hope you’re feeling better soon bud:pray:
Met a friend for lunch yesterday. That was good. Made a connection with another old friend from junior high (we were best of friends for those 3 years), then I became someone different in high school.
It was good to reconnect with him, though not as together as I thought he was apparently even he struggles with some mental and substance issues. Not sure the extent as it was not my place to pry, but it’s funny the people who you thinks are the most well put together are just regular folks with their own demons… I hope to chat over a coffee with him further when he is ready. He is one of the people I wanted to apologize to and did for drunk calls back in the day to his parents late night trying to track down his phone number.
I’ve added back a 6th client from my lawn service… damn I’m going to be tired this summer. 40 hour job with 2 hours travel each day and 6 acreage lots to tend to plus my own acre… I am determined to work hard this summer, lose the weight I wish to lose and enjoy next winter travelling and working out … fingers crossed I survive. It all begins tomorrow. Yikes.
Beautiful weather today and upcoming week, so after gym this morning time to do final work on my lawn gear and get my lawn its first cut of year.
Sleeping well, down 4lbs this past week, enjoying early morning coffees overlooking the water on these peaceful mornings.
The night before last sunset. Enjoy your day TS friends.
@SoberWalker You should come on and talk about you more often. I enjoy reading your posts and the pictures from your walks.
@Juli1 Crazys 8’s just like us. . You’re right we’re just a number wherever we go, which is why I took off today to recoup and probably won’t go to work tomorrow either, fuck em.
@wahtisnormal You seem like you work a lot. Make sure you take the time to put your sobriety first and not wear yourself out. I say this because I absolutely have a habit of doing that and it was a contributer in relapses in the past.
@JazzyS I’m glad it went semi good. At least you had mom there for company. And a McDonald’s bathroom, please tell me you didn’t eat there . Hopefully you slept and left the laundry for another day.
Checking in 227 SAF and 213 No smokes. I’m sitting out on the deck with the dogs drinking Holy coffee as my priyatelka @Zse would say, and catching up on here. It’s nice to be off on a Saturday, it feels like it’s been forever. And the weather in the northeast part of the states is finally starting to fucking cooperate. I got stuff to do later but for right now at 7:15 just relaxing. Yous all seem to be doing mostly great and I’m proud of ya’s.
Love ya guys.
Day 75 AF
Very tiring Saturday night. Gym, shopping, babysitting and alot cooking today. Looking forward to a solid night sleep.
Peace and strength to all.
It’s been raining today so I’ve mostly stayed in. It’s been more relaxing today which I’m thankful for after my harder day yesterday. I find it hard to stay in and rest. I like to work keeping myself busy and usually when I try to relax I get distracted with something else I can do that feels more productive. My friend said to me today that I’m addicted to working the same way I am to alcohol. I don’t know if that’s true or not but I do know I struggle to relax. It makes me feel guilty or lazy. Is another thing for me to work on. But I am going to try to create more space for myself.
. You’re right we’re just a number wherever we go, which is why I took off today to recoup and probably won’t go to work tomorrow either, fuck em.
. Hopefully you slept and left the laundry for another day.
