I spent the weekend with a friend at the lake. Much needed girl time away. It gave me. Lot of time to reflect on my relationship and other things that are upcoming in my life.
My friend is also in recovery so I attended two AA meetings with her and met some nice people. I feel like I should venture out in my area to find a meeting that may work for me as well.
Besides the meetings, we shopped, laid by the pool and ate some delicious meals.
The down time and my friend’s perspective gave me some insight into my relationship and the conversation I need to have with my BF. It allowed me the opportunity to process my feelings and to recharge my energy.
Just checking in. Awesome weekend here, despite some emotion. Yesterday our son went with my husbands parents to see a play, his first time going with them solo and it made me a bit emotional. Also realizing he is 3 and hes never been left with anyone except daycare, so hes not used to it and neither am I. We didnt plan it to be that way, but we dont have family to help so it just is how its always been. Igoes very fast, and im grateful to be trauma free right now. Its just been a lot, and going throigh such intense things when you have small humans is insanely challenging but then also…you miss getting to just be with them, as they are small humans. Feeling very grateful for that.
The sun all day here in the spring and summer, and even into the fall reminds me of my sister. She was a sun baby, and i think of how she would have loved it here.
Went to one of our annual tractor pulls today, and son did not want to leave. Daughter didnt want to leave either, she was making bracelets & playing on the bouncing castle. Our son was leaning on tbe fence watching the tractors like someone whos done this in a past life. We were there for 4 hours and had to drag him out. All he wants to do is read about trucks, and learn about what does what. To be so focused on one thinf from infancy still blows my brain.
Wishinf everyone a beautiful day and night. I know it all cant be sunshine and roses, but fuck its nice when a day rolls by smoothly. I love my life, love myself & thats a big fucking deal. That was the dream for me at 16, and that grasp and gratitude is worth a lot to me. Xo. I wish thet all for everyone here.
Just saw this…how are you doing Thomas? Sorry to hear about your emotional stress. Here if you need to talk. Hoping you were able to connect here and are doing better
@lighter How did the first leg of your road trip go? Hope you enjoyed the slow paced scenic drive Grateful to be packed along with the snacks Gonna be a fun adventure. Glad that you made it to the hotel and luckily had a safe car wash to seek shelter in during the surprise storm. @mindofsobermike YEAH 200! Way to go Mike – Grateful to hear that you are enjoying the sobriety journey and doing so well in protecting it. @steve92 Way to go with your timers friend. Glad you are getting counseling and attending your online SA meetings… I do hope that these measures help. I don’t think its that there is something wrong so much as we all have voids that need to be mended – each in its own way. Keep working on your recovery and hope you continue to heal.
I got tired just reading it – I’m sure those travel plans would be a great deterrent for any visitor @steve14 Missed celebrating you and your 600 days! Great work Steve – congrats on 605 days and counting @laner You should be proud of your sober journey – you have come a long ways in these 59+ days and are on a wonderful path of healing and recovery. OMG that is a vibrant and beautiful rug – well done on all the details. @catmancam Its funny how when we don’t set out an agenda and goals – that’s when we end up accomplishing way more than we could imagine. I think our bodies and minds are freed up and at ease with each task. It’s the pressure we place on getting the task done that causes us to feel burdened and overwhelmed. I know how it sucks to sleep through a beautiful day and the blah feelings that go along with it – I do hope you got the rest you needed and that you will have many more sunny beautiful days to enjoy soon. @butterflymoonwoman So grateful for the serenity prayer and that you are turning to it during this time. I am not happy with this service and the last minute cancellations – don’t they have back ups? Whatever happened to the nurses they were training? Sorry if the questions rile you up – that is not my intention. I am glad that you are going with the flow and sending love and loads of energy your way @foxy8 Great work on day 5. Sleep is such a struggle during he beginning stages of sobriety. It can take a while for your body to regulate itself. At first I did nothing but sleep as my body needed the rest while it detoxed and then I went into insomnia for a bit. Just hang in there – it does get easier and just think that you will not have to repeat these stages. @suechu So grateful that you did not have a “sod it” beer and are enjoying another day of sobriety. The warmer weather can be very inviting for our addict brain. Do not let it win! Keep showing up for yourself
Checking in late Sunday evening
OOF am i exhausted. It’s been a looooong day! Everything hurts and i’m exhausted but I DID IT - i was able to push through and work from prep to festival to clean up. The drive was nice and relaxing there but was torture on the way back LOL (about an hour each way). Glad it’s over and i’m in bed. Gonna sleep well tonight.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love.
@Mno
Thank you, youre right about not needing to hide from uncomfortable emotions. I tried reminding myself of that but sometimes its so hard in the moment. It helps hearing someone else say it too. I appreciate your support
@acromouse
Thank you, I’m feeling a lot better now that I’m home. Finally able to relax
@JazzyS
I’m doing a lot better now that I’m home, didn’t get the most sleep but thankfully I felt pretty okay for the drive home. Thank you again for hearing me out through all of this
Day 50
Feeling a lot less stressed/anxious now that I’m home. Taking a shower helped too. I also meal prepped which added a feeling of productivity for the day. And it feels nice to have that done with. Finally came home to my cat and he’s doing well, definitely missed us. I’m just glad to have a lot off my shoulders now, including worrying about him.
I have tomorrow off work which is also a relief. Now I’m a little bored/worried about future career shit and needing to figure out what to do with my life, but considering how stressed out I was the past couple of days, I’m mainly just relieved that I can sit here and not worry about things as much, even if I’m not sure what to do with myself. Definitely gonna try to continue self with care stuff until I go to sleep. I will likely go to sleep soon (which is hella early for me) because I’m actually tired enough for once lol. Thank you again to everyone who helped me out the past couple of days. I appreciate it more than I can express.
I’m trying to stay on top of my sobriety and looking at all of the replies on the threads throughout this platform encourages me to be involved with the community.
I recently moved here to Houston, Texas from Denver, Colorado, 11 months and one day today.
Since moving here, it has been the best decision I have made. The weather is amazing. Really really hot but overall, I am the most happiest, I have been in years and it has forced me to change my way of thinking and my path of living.
I hope everyone had a wonderful 24.
Checking in sober at the end of the weekend. Worked hard outdoors today and now I’m laying in bed listening to a light summer rain falling outside. So glad to be sober. Have a lovely night/day wherever you find yourself
You know what’s strange, but you wouldn’t know until it happens? Hearing birds past midnight. Idk what kind of avian drama is going down in the treetops outside my window but it must be big bc they are freaking tf out! And so are my cats
Well, today was a good day. Mostly just a lazy Sunday bc the 23% chance of rain turned into 100% rain all day. I did get a few things done, but not having my typical, childless weekends has really screwed up my cleaning habits. I definitely could clean while my daughter’s home, but for some reason can never motivate myself to. I also feel guilty going on my phone so I haven’t spent my usual time here. It’s all good. Gotta make the best of it and not fall into that downward spiral thinking.
We did drive out to her dad’s place after dinner in hopes his roommate was home. He was, and he knows just as much about the situation as I do I’d only just met him once or twice, so it was nice to be able to talk a little while. He seems like a stand up guy that my ex is lucky to have in his life. The place was cleaner than normal, he’s been putting money towards the rent every week, and the cat’s well taken care of. It was such a relief. He also mentioned, as they work together, that his job is guaranteed when he gets back Apparently their boss is having big problems with alcohol and needs all the help he can get. We still took a bunch of her things, clothes/art supplies, but I’m grateful to know what’s left is safe. We exchanged numbers to keep in touch over everything, so we’ll see where this goes.
I didn’t really eat too well today so I’ve been developing an ever worsening headache, but I’m confident going to bed soon should remedy it. Thank you all for reading, as well as sharing your lives with me. It really means so much to be a part of this incredible community. You’re all awesome!!!
Beautiful rug and the colours are so vibrant!
Glad you had such a good day Laner.
Congratulations for the 60 days because you will reached them when you read this I guess
@JazzyS glad all went well for the festival and you can look back to it proud and satisfied, you did it
Checking in at the end of day 22 the beginning of day 23.
@JazzyS@CATMANCAM@acromouse thank you so much! Your words of affirmation mean so much. It feels good to be at 3 weeks.
Today I went to dinner with friends. Some ordered beer and others mixed drinks. The smell of alcohol did tempt me, but I stuck with water. It felt good to be present to enjoy my food and the conversation without obsessing over my next drink and hiding the fact I don’t have control. It felt good to choose not to drink.
*Day 2084
Had a good day yesterday beside a little ripple in the sea. But life has always ripples and sometimes there are waves ore even a tsunami.
This little ripple was an easy one so I surfed on it
That would be different when I would be still drinking. Then that ripple would have hit me in the face in the morning when I had a hangover.
I wouldn’t have had the clear brain to do what I had to do and I deffinitely could not go to my crossfit training to sweat it all out.
@SoberWalker That CrossFit place looks rad. And yay to surfing ripples @Jeanine Nice one on the dinner situation. It‘s such a good feeling not to have to obsess. @Tgash0124 11 months is huge! Congrats Nice to hear you‘re in such a good place in your life. @wahtisnormal Huge congrats on 50 days Glad to hear you are out of this stressful situation and relaxing with self care. @JazzyS Hope you are having a good night‘s sleep right now and wake up refreshed today. @Mira_D Yay to smooth days of sunshine @DanaM56 Your time with your friend sounds great. Good stuff and a good friend. Real treasures. @Bomdhil New day, new chances friend. @Lighter Yay to car wash adventures @suechu Great job on getting through the day without the beer
194 sugar
58 UPF
65 gluten
44 dairy
6 overeating
New Monday, new week, new opportunities. Send my daughter off to school. She was very anxious about her math test.
My prototyping work is calling for me. Second to last class with the younger kids today. Some errands, yoga, maybe an online meeting in the evening.
Need to make an appointment about my meds. Something is still not working as it should.
Let‘s have a day in peace, kindness and freedom today friends
I did a longish walk within city limits instead of writing or biking yesterday. Trying to make it as green a hike as possible, and largely succeeding. Until near the end when I had to navigate the mean streets of downtown Amsterdam that were flooded with tourists and day trippers. Remind me not to walk there on a sunny Sunday afternoon .
After that a shower, a good meal, some online discussion. All in all a good day. Let’s see what today brings. One thing it won’t bring is drinking or drugging. Never again. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Day 2264 Af. Just hit 4 months caffeine free. Back to zero for sugar free. Initally, i have no idea why its so easy to be caffeine free vs sugar free. Up at 130am, when I get home from work it will be 9pm. I do this twice a week and dont even reach for caffeine. I have taken a hard line and just wont drink it.
Then there is sugar…i “try”…but if you offer me something with sugar, i will eat it with out even trying to say no. I guess I am just not ready.
184days
Last day of our little getaway. Played some ball with the kids then their cousins came over to the airbnb. We took all the kids for a walk on the beach, was cold but nice. Then all the kids jumped in the hot tub here. Afterwards it was back to the inlaws for dinner before we said our goodbyes.
Up early tomorrow, have a 6-7hr drive home
Grateful to be packed along with the snacks 
Gonna be a fun adventure. Glad that you made it to the hotel and luckily had a safe car wash to seek shelter in during the surprise storm.
Glad your day was a success!!! Sleep well 
I’d only just met him once or twice, so it was nice to be able to talk a little while. He seems like a stand up guy that my ex is lucky to have in his life. The place was cleaner than normal, he’s been putting money towards the rent every week, and the cat’s well taken care of. It was such a relief. He also mentioned, as they work together, that his job is guaranteed when he gets back 
Apparently their boss is having big problems with alcohol and needs all the help he can get. We still took a bunch of her things, clothes/art supplies, but I’m grateful to know what’s left is safe. We exchanged numbers to keep in touch over everything, so we’ll see where this goes.
Nice to hear you‘re in such a good place in your life.
Glad to hear you are out of this stressful situation and relaxing with self care.
.