2y4m17d
It was a looooooooong day lol Work was good but it just dragged on. I also didnt bring enough to eat with me so by the time 4pm came around, i was starving. Took the bus home feeling sick bcuz i was hungry. Got home and ate like half the fridge. Not happy about that. Have learned for the future that i need to bring enough food during my shifts to prevent binge eating from happening at home. So i ended up eating more food than i really would have liked. Trying to not let this effect my thinking too much bcuz right now i dont feel well. My plan is to get up at 5am tmrw to workout. Start my day off right. And eat well thought out meals with lots of water. Thats all i can do moving forward. Make better choices. Not much else happening right now. Just excited to sleep lol have a great night friends 
Day 379 AF
Home from a long draining weekend. My relationship ended, the person i thought i knew, the person I dated for 11 months, gaslit, controlled, insulted, lack accountability and insight this weekend. This is not the first but it is the last time he will threaten to break up with me for wanting to address behavior that I found unacceptable.
I need to self reflect also. I continue to pick men that are not emotionally available. I continue to pick men that let me down.
Im now facing a move on my own, praying that my energy and physical body will get me through this. Iāve never get more alone than I do tonight. Iām just numb.
Sleep well everyone.
1850
Had a couple of not so great days. Mightāve been the aftereffects of the emdr I did. It does stir up lots of old stuff. Well. Thatās what Iāve been doing. Stirring up old stuff, and hoping to profit from doing that in my life now. Nobody said it would be easy.
Iām going back to work today, after a week of sick leave. Not 100% fit but much better than a couple of days ago. On we go. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
@DanaM56 Iām sorry Dana. But sounds to me like the right decision. Youāre not alone 
Oh hugs to you! I get that right now feels hard, but with his unacceptable behaviour and put downs and gaslighting, youāll be stronger on your own. Youāll land on your feet. Give yourself a bit of time.
And get some rest tonight. Maybe a bath and some tea. 
I hear you on this one. At least we are growing now, right?
@justKaitlin Welcome to the thread! Good luck at work tomorrow!
@Twizzlers One day at a time will keep you sober if you just keep going 
.
@HolySquid Aww, I love owls! Probably not at midnight tho.
@wahtisnormal Vent away! Hope you catch a break soon!
@Chevy55 Looks fancy!
@DanaM56 Sending strength, you are not alone on here.
@Mno Hope you get past those not so great days soon. Lovely flowers!
-1-
So this Chapter was all into finding my own morning dawn. Today is a morning and I hope this is the new dawn I was waiting for as for, but it was always here. Now. I was searching it in Tomorrow. I stopped counting my days lately. I was building like week or two and then relapse / repeat cycle to get borred of it or to feel the insanity in it. Finally wake up this morning and say it. Itās hard to say it. Day 1
@Mischa84 Congrats on your year!!! 
Itās been lovely to watch you progress 
@HolySquid Lucky! I want to see an owl! All my years living beside a nature preserve, thatās one animal Iāve never come across. Hope he settles down for you 
@Butterflymoonwoman I did the exact same thing today! Was running late so I didnāt pack up my usual snacks for work. I never drink soda, but today it was easy caffeine and calories to make it thru. Then I had McDonaldās for dinner. My tummyās not happy with my choices 
Sleep will definitely help reset.
@DanaM56 Iāve been there, because, I too have horrible taste in men 
Sounds like you started this relationship in early sobriety, before really getting to know yourself. Iāve been single 3 years now after a bad relationship(and love it!). Iāve learned alot about myself being alone. Take your time now. You can live your life your way No drama
501
Thank you everyone 
Youāre the reasons I love this place so much
I didnāt get much sleep as I was scheduled earlier than normal for no apparent reason. The weather was perfect for working outside. It was pretty busy, and I did well, but wouldnāt you know, as soon as I left, the sky turned dark grey. No problem, as I needed to lay down anyways. My body was so tired but my mind wouldnāt stop. In the end I rested enough to make it thru the rest of the day. Sleep sounds amazing tho 
Have a good one everyone!
Checking in on day 11
It was a fairly slow day around the house this morning, I had ice coffee with my wife a small breakfast and a cat nap that ran till noon oops 
we loaded up our little guy and drove over to our local Menards to grab a couple more things for projects around the house. Update on the pool, still no water I may just have to sit in it on a lawn chair 
theyāre talking strong wind for tomorrow so letās just hope it doesnāt blow away 
My plans for the fourth fell through so Iām back to the drawing board on that. On the plus side I do have the appointment with my med doctor tomorrow afternoon. I think she will be happy to know that Iām working on my sobriety.
I appreciate all of you
Have a happy Monday Iāll be back tomorrow
Day 865 here and need advice. I donāt approach people from a place of sobriety yet but I am open when people have questions for me. I work in a hospital and had heard an old friend of mine wasnāt doing well. He is now in my hospital with heart failure.
This is my second old friend that I have seen in the hospital for addiction related illnesses and the first one died.
Do I visit? I went to his destination wedding 15 years ago. I saw him 6 months ago after many years without seeing him and he seemed happy to see me. How do you open the door to talk about sobriety to someone who doesnāt identify as an addict? Part of me wants to help and part of me thinks Iām overstepping. Iām just tired of my 40 year old peers dying of alcoholism.
Day 373. Back at work today. Will find out what some of the ideas are about changing the teams I look after. Iām aiming to be clear but helpful rather than defensive as it will change anyways
At work four days this week. Iām a bit tired. We had a week off which was relaxing but ended up not doing too much. Iām keen to try and reduce spending a bit as we are off to London in August which will be expensive
Iāve had some passing thoughts of having a beer, just those quite suggestive thoughts which I can manage. I wonder if they ever stop?
483
Morning owl update: I heard it a couple of times during the night, and by 5:45 the night was definitely over with the first dog walkers to appear in the park. Itās sitting on its lamppost perch again and sounding the alarm every time someone walks by.
And Iāve discovered a second one perching on a window ledge two houses down. I have the feeling they are guarding their nest site. I will keep you updated!
@Just_Laura This is the time of year to see owls. Iāve seen barn owls in flight a couple of times in recent weeks, during those evening twighlight hours. Their young need food, so they start hunting earlier.
@TrustyBird go visit, but donāt fixate on a plan on what to say or how to approach the topic. Your friend is sick, your friend is in hospital. Just see where the conversation leads you. Maybe it feels right to talk about it, maybe not. Donāt force anything, but everyone is happy about a hospital visit.
78
Really wanna escape reality sometimes. The shit I live with is too much. Its disturbing and depressing. I want it to just go away.
Congratulations on your Leviās numbers @Just_Laura
Is an amazing number.
Thank you for letting us being part of your journey.
You are a massive inspiration to me and many others.
Itās amazing having you here.
Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful day today!
Iām sorry to sorry to hear about your friend @TrustyBird
and in lack of my own words Iād completely agree with @HolySquid go and visit your friend and see were it leads you. I donāt think you have to have a plan at hand. Heāll be happy to see you anyway. Good luck 
@Mischa84 Iām a bit late to the party, but HUGE CONGRATS girl! 
Impressive work youāve done with your sobriety 
@wahtisnormal Hang in there friend. Youāve shared a lot about your home situation and it really sounds violent and traumatic. I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. Iām sending you strength, encouragement and hugs over the atlantic. May it find you wherever you are right now May some opening for better times come your way today 
And remember: Share and connect in any way you can 
@HolySquid Your owls do sound fascinating 
@Timetochange I do not think that the thoughts themselves stop, but how much of our conscious awareness they occupy definitely does. I like your attitude in trying to embrace changes at work. Never easy 
@TrustyBird Sorry to hear about your friend. This sucks. I think it is really good you are aware of your own thoughts, feelings and discomfort around the issues of illness, alcoholism, this visit, friendship, etc. Awareness of oneself is a great step to minimise adding to the suffering already there. Iād suggest to go and visit your friend with an open heart and an open mind. Keep paying attention to your own thoughts and feelings, donāt rush anything, accept the discomfort, and you will know what to do and to say. Thatās the best way to prepare I know of. Sending you hugs
@Lefty624 I just imagined this lawn chair in pool situation 
Sounds relaxing though 
@zzz Good to see you sharing your journey with us 
@Mno Just sending you some nice good vibes to help you get through your current funk. They donāt have to travel far from me to you. So Iām sure theyāll get there 
@DanaM56 That is a tough decision you made there and a tough place to be in. Ending a relationship is hard. All that we invest into it. Take your time to recover, take care of yourself, your needs, your hurting heart. Sending love
@Butterflymoonwoman I hear you on the hunger-binge-feeling like shit-situation friend. Done it so many times. In fact I overate yesterday and experienced the consequences for all of the evening, and the night, and still not feeling too good. If it helps: This is not some personal failure on you part. This is biology. This is the part of your system that is responsible to keep you alive. Itās older then humans, or mammals, or any animal for that part. You canāt outwill it. When it is hungry, it digs in. And it does so with all its strength, cause a lack of food might be around the corner any day. So instead of berating yourself maybe congratulate yourself for having a perfectly well working survival-system and give it a big thanks for doing its work 
222 sugar
86 UPF
93 gluten
70 dairy
0 overeating
222 is a nice number 
Already did my ārunā for today, send my daughter off to her last week of school before the summer break. So Iām a hero
Iām going to dig into digital prototyping again today, do some prep for my daughterās birthday on Saturday, a walk, yoga, and Recovery Dharma in the evening.
Letās go for peace, kindness and freedom today friends 
I am 6 months sober today
I am so proud. A huge thank you to everyone that comments and likes, this forum is fantastic. Hereās to another 6 months. Happy sober Monday xxx
Six beautiful months, well done Hannah! 
Thank you so much xx
212 days
Eldest had a doc appointment today and was off school. After that was cool to hang out with her and play some games.
Back to work tomorrow, weathers a bit rainy and cold so may as well be at work
Congrats on 1 yr @Mischa84
And 6months @Seizetheday
Thank you so much xx