It’s 4:17, so good morning! Fell asleep before sundown so it’s ok. I can get a good jump on the day while it’s dark.
July? I’ll have to contemplate . My least favourite month. But I’m sober, and I’ll find ways to enjoy it. By the end of July I will be better acclimated to the 100s
Today will be a therapy work day. I have the workbooks but part of me wants to avoid looking. Like go get a job, work constantly and never deal with the stuff. Always have been resisting trauma therapy, because someone always has it worse, and there’s a hamster wheel waiting! Avoid.
No, this is the time. I want to heal and have better relationships… and sleep peacefully most nights —not have nightmares with cold sweat and pounding heart. Every morning I wake up shaking. The people from my memories haunt me night and day. Trauma therapy will help me. But it’s still frightening to dig into that stuff in the light of day. Need to release it. I’m working on CBT for trauma/PTSD. I have homework. I really need to take a deep breath and realize thinking consciously about the people will not hurt me. I avoid the thoughts when I can, but they come out at night. I want to get to where I am not living this way. I want so badly to move on.
If anyone else is dealing with similar or has in the past, please message. My whole job is to heal. Then a better life can begin. I don’t like to look, I simply compartmentalize/ignore. But the time has come.
We’re back home, cousins communion was okey.
I’m happy to be back home.
My husband became I’ll during our stay at my aunts house. We all assumed it was because of his new medication.
He started to feel worse tonight, so we contacted hos doctor who says it’s Benign paroxysmal positionell vertigo.
We call it Crystal illness in Swedish.
It’s not dangerous and it’ll pass. But the doctors says it’ll take a few weeks at least. So we won’t be able to go on any vacation or anything this year. Since my husband is the only one who van drive.
And the this year the Pirate theme park released their Halloween tickets early and they’re already sold out.
So I’m glad to be home, but this day sucks to say least
I’m going to book a stay at Liseberg for Halloween though so it’s not all hopeless.
And our Season tickets for the Old Western Cowboy theme park are valid until September so there’s still plenty of time.
Also I bought really cute earrings yesterday and my mother wasn’t that annoying at my aunts house. We took turns watching after her
Hi all, greetings. It finally clicked in and moving out from darkness. Happy though it’s just a start and need to stay focused on recovery. I have a plan, which started with a morning smoothie . Wish you all a great day ahead
To my knowledge, the diagnosis of Benign Paroxysmal Postural Vertigo is when the Dr moves the head around and sees the eyes rolling back and forth ( nystagmus) .
The treatment is the Epley manuever which a therapist can do and some people are sent home w sheets of paper to do it at home.
It is a repositioning of the crystal.
On the second page of this article is a link w the descriptions of how to do it.
You could ask the Dr if it is okay to try this at home.
Usually the BPPV will give a feeling of needing to hit the floor or falling over rather than light headed or feeling light headed and like passing out. It is usually most apparent when getting up from bed.
If he has other symptoms like shortness of breath or anything like that, please go back to the Dr.
Here is the article. They may have told you all of this at the clinic.
Hope it is soon resolved.
Big hugs for you, so hard. Yes as the others have said, do go see him, be his friend, see what is going on…he is in heart failure and is going to die next week, be a cardiac cripple or potentially can turn it around. That will guide you in what to say and how you can help. If he says ‘Gosh the Doc said if I could just quit drinking’ then you are on it! And lucky him. Lucky him for having a friend like you in any case. I am sorry he is hospitalized and hope he can make a recovery and become sober.
@DanaM56 Big hugs my friend. I know that a break up is hard even when it is the right move. You deserve so much better. Sending you love, strength and energy. Here with you Dana. . I have watched you in this journey and you are stronger than you think. You most definitely are not alone! @mno hugs friend. Recovery is not easy and opening up our closed doors can be sure exhausting to deal with. Glad you are doing the work and being gentle with yourself in the process. Hope you start feeling better soon. Best of luck with first day back at work. @TrustyBird so sorry to hear about your friend. Iget it’s a hard conversation. I’m sure hed be happy to see you. I’m sure he knows that this is where you work so it might be easier for you to pop in? As for the sobriety - I have someone who’s had bad health issues and I mentioned that a possible cleanse for a few months might be good. The cleanse would include no alcohol. He decided to cut down on the alcohol but not go full on sober but I felt it was a start. Just feel out the situation when you are visiting and see where it goes. Sending you luck for whatever you decide @wahtisnormal big hugs friend. I do hope things get easier for you. Are you able to go for you mini get aways to the Forrest or for a drive? Possibly plan a vacation if that is possible? @Seizetheday Hannah this is awesome work friend. Great to be celebrating your 6 months with you . Keep up the amazing work @MrsOdh sorry to hear about your hubby. Glad you are home and he can rest / recover in familiar surroundings. Halloween tickets already sold out? That’s crazy! Glad you have a plan b
Happy Monday y’all… checking in
Had a great day yesterday. Still feeling drained today. I am getting ready for my walk and getting the coffee ready. Hopefully gonna just keep pushing forward and keep having faith that this all gets easier. ODAAT
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love
It’s all correct, here you can either get the treatment at the Dr office or at home. My husband already have a problem walking or standing because of a back injury from a car accident, and he walks with a Zimmer walker. So I think the Dr though it would be most safe to treat him iver there. At least they’ve got people and tools to get him up if he hits the floor.
He’s a big guy about 2m tall and a little over 100 kg. So if he falls at home I’ll have problems getting him up as it is. Add him being dizzy to that and I’ll get him a pillow and a blanket and leave him on the floor
I always have a plan B
It makes my husband crazy, he usually doesn’t even has a plan A. And take things as they come, resolves things on the way.
It usually turns out good in the end, can’t say otherwise,but it makes me nervous.
It’s sold out, probably because the resort celebrates 50 years this year, and have promised a huge event (we haven’t seen anything yet, but I guess people have hope)
It’s also located just by the Norwegian border, so it’s both Norwegian families, and Swedish families who wants to go.
Many of them,just like us have been there for years every year, and keeps coming back (not at Halloween but to the resort)
Anyway, I’m pretty much always in the mindset that if my plan A doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. And this far I’ve dodged many accidents and bad things that way. If the universe says No, don’t push it, do something else.
Hope your day gets better and that you’ll get some rest.
Congrats on your 4 months and beyond! I slept great last night and woke up wondering if you had a good night I think of all my fellow insomniacs frequently
I would visit and feel it out. A lot of “I” statements can go a long way, especially if they’re asking you how you’re doing etc. Try not to have expectations but be there genuinely to see them and it will be fine.
Thank you for thinking of me! It was fair, not good and not terrible. I’ll take it. I’m due for a good sleep, though. Glad you got one- it’s so amazing! Maybe the moon is in the right spot or something and I’ll be next!
88 days sober
It was hard getting into the trauma workbook again this morning. It brings things up that I’ve spent the last weeks trying to ignore in order to keep my level of stress down. Honestly I’ve spent long trying to avoid it all but since I’ve stopped drinking I’ve been actively working on confronting and working through these things. I did it though and will keep at it now that I’m back home.
I had good exercise after and that felt good. It helps work out the pent up anxiety. I suppose therapy as a fitness program is helpful?
I did some visiting today but not as much as planned…I’m feeling particularly antisocial today. Maybe tomorrow my social skills will improve and I can catch up with neighbors before they take offense.
I had my first real anxious feeling over the weekend since I started this journey. I was really proud of how I was able to cope with it and move forward to get shit done. Previously I would have froze, and stayed tense for days, weeks or months. I know I’ll face more anxious times, but I’m proud of how I handled it.
The biggest realisation was that my stomach didn’t absolutely churn like it used to… I used to get physically ill and have the feeling of wanting to throw up constantly.
I would also say I have been feeling really good about 80% of the time, whereas just before I got sober, I was feeling pretty good at max and only 5% of the time.
Day 2293. Last day of work before a sgort camping trip. Work is full of “grunt” labor today. Which I do not mind, just being done ineffintly today. Wosh me luck
Day #211
So 4pm Monday… Back to the city, today i slept till 10 am. it was strange to sleep till 10 am on Monday. Ive got calls from now ex coworker’s and listening questions - whyy, what happened, are you ok? Well ive got tired to explain same thing - it happened i dont know why - i can’t tell them the real reason.
Tomorrow i will go in labor office so i can sign in and to relax this summer. If i start again in company where again everyone is drinking and having this kind of dinners and CEO i will go totally insane I will take care of the nephews this summer
. My least favourite month. But I’m sober, and I’ll find ways to enjoy it. By the end of July I will be better acclimated to the 100s
. Wish you all a great day ahead 
. Keep up the amazing work 
I think of all my fellow insomniacs frequently 
I will take care of the nephews this summer 
