Day 991 AF
Good morning, everyone.
Not a whole lot going on over here. Staying busy with work and the fam. Staying focused.
One more day of work and then vacay for a week. Planning to go to the in-laws for 4th of July tomorrow.
Only 9 more days till 1000. Shits wild.
Have a great sober day, gang. Take care. ODAAT 
Happy Fourth of July weekend everyone. Yesterday was a difficult day It was a very special for me. I felt happy and sad I wanted to drink alcohol, but I didn’t I made it another day Sober and Clean. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and to be safe as possible. Y’all take care.
Day 12 - Had a fantastic therapy session with my new therapist then my first SMART meeting. Feeling like the SMART meeting may not be the best resource for me, but I feel like I have made great strides with my therapist.
Either way seeing what works and what feels off was been the name of the game today
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Ended up working 13.5 hours yesterday with no breaks but thankfully it was a good shift and honestly went by at a very decent pace. Made lots of money too which I definitely need right now since I want to save up to move out.
Definitely did not get enough sleep last night and could barely get myself out the door this morning but I spent some time volunteering at the arboretum planting seedlings, now im gonna plan a trip to Peru hopefully with my friend. We’re in a time crunch though so it might not work out and we might have to decide on another location. Relieved to have the day off today and hope it can remain chill. Hope my mom dkesnt stress me out too much. I will habe to limit my time around her but at the same time I’m exhausted and just want to sleep.
Hope everyone is enjoying their day/night 
You take care and you be safe Jeanine! Stay connected. Know there’s a lot of folks here that want to and will support you. 
It’s important for me to check in sober right now. Hope everyone is doing well 
Sending positive vibes vibes your way Julia.
Welcome on the other side 
Hope you start to feel better about yourself soon.
Be proud of yourself. You really rock!!!
Congratulations!! 
Reading you loud and clear. Cheerful sober day to you.
Congrats on 90 days WOOT WOOT!!! Keep it going 
Loads of light displays and fireworks 
the only time I’ve ever heard the music from my place there (since the Take That concert way back - maybe when Wembley first started holding concerts - where they were told to lower the volume…)
Someone’s in trouble… 
Thank you Laura. Yes, I grateful to be out of the relationship. I saw a side of him I had not seen.
Thank you Aga. I appreciate the support.
Day 382 AF
Dealt with the ex for the last time this morning. I needed to ensure that he’d follow through with helping with my move. He’s offered to pay a handyman to take my TVs down and patch the holes and hang them at my new house. For that I’m grateful.
I’m bit surprised that he had no apology for me about the comments he made about my grandkids but then again I’m not quite sure why I’m surprised. He’s not someone that took responsibility for my he issues in our relationship. He does not see that his remarks were hurtful to me. I don’t think he cares.
In hindsight I’m grateful, as an Empath his energy could be draining with his constant need to “debate” absolutely everything. It was exhausting at times.
When I ask myself about the relationship, remove my emotions it’s really more that I’ll miss his money and the security it brought me. There was no passion and no intimacy after 10 months of dating. I stayed for the money. He sabotaged the intimacy we had established when he told me he didn’t want to discuss a concern that I had until we could see each other 5 weeks from the time I asked to talk to him. This was back in April.
Tomorrow is a tough day the anniversary of my mom’s passing.
I hope you all enjoy your evening.
2y4m20d
Im having an emotionally hard day. Im just very overstimulated, tired, and irritable. As much as I do absolutely love having my son home (and not in school), i just dont get any time for myself. I do try to set aside some time here n there but it never lasts long. My self care time becomes me doing the dishes or vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom.
I read something about emotions today and how people often see uncomfortable emotions as the “bad guy”. Something we try to be rid of instead of purposefully feeling them and going thru them. I thought about it and realized that even to this day, at over 2 years clean, i still use things to escape. Its no longer drugs or alcohol but Im using my phone more often now, wanting to use food to eat my emotions, using sleep to escape. Like today for example… being not emotionally at my best, i wanted to eat to “fix” my feelings. I literally told myself outloud that food will not fix my problem. I was not hungry and knew full well that I was at risk for binge eating. I knew eating would make me feel sick and then id feel even shittier about things. Then i had urges to use my DOC and of course put that thought aside. And ive been on my phone alot. I still am giving my son the attention he needs but yet i am finding myself mindlessly scrolling thru fb or instagram (especially when stressed). I think that if i can be aware of these thoughts/actions earlier on, than maybe i can centre and ground myself *before" i get too emotional. Id like to get off my phone more and be a bit more present for my son. I can imagine what he must think with his mom glued to the phone. I feel pretty crappy about that. I did tho chat with him before typing this up, that mommy needed a break and that ill be close by if he needs me. Hes in his bedroom now playing and im in my bedroom next to his. I think i need to communicate my needs to him so that i can get a break here n there when needed. It would help me be a better mom and i think it would show him in a sense how to handle his own stress better as well. I have to be a good role model.
Anyway, just some thoughts in the moment. I already prepped the Sheppards Pie for supper and am waiting for hubby to get home. Hope everyone is doing well today 
Thinking of u for tmrw and what a hard day for u that will be hugs
Checking in at Day 36 ! Whoop! Been fighting with my now former fiance and life has been pretty stressful, but sobriety is now my rock. Whereas my “rock” used to be the booze.
Progress, progress, progress even in (especially in) the face of adversity.
P.S. feeling really grateful for this app. It’s been my little daily journal and something I’ve come to look forward to. Hope you’re all doing well. Sending good vibes! 
@jeanine Sending strength and love as you make the journey home to see your dad. You are not alone – remember to lean on us if you need to
@pattycake I LOVE IT – day 8 and counting down to your big soberversary! Looking forward to celebrating your big day with you Patricia – you have come a long way my friend. 
@aussie_tiger Be proud of your 50 days. Glad you know to stay vigilant an alert about your addiction. Being sober doesn’t mean that life stops sending hurdles our way – it means that we are better equipped to handle them with a clear and sober mind/ body. You have collected a lot of tools in your sober journey so far so remember to keep utilizing them and to stay connected. ODAT
@planipennia Thank you so much. 
Grateful to still have my sobriety in tact and finding better ways to deal with life’s struggles.
@bomdhil Whats going on Thomas? You are not weak my friend – I have watched you push past the urges and stack up the days. Sending you strength and love! Please talk to us – you are not alone! My allergies are much better today – appreciate you prayers.
@snokeki242 Great to see you checking in Keyana – Way to go on staying sober through the urges. You should be super proud! Keep flexing those sober muscles and stacking up the days!
@icebear You ok Drew? Here if you need to chat Glad you are reaching out and checking in sober.
@danam56 Grateful that your ex did follow through and help with the move. Also super grateful that he is not longer going to be in your life. You do deserve so much better. Sending you love and hugs my friend – here for you if you need to talk. I’m sure tomorrow will be a rough day – You are not alone
I think you nailed it. I know its hard being home all day and caring for your son and trying to also get all of lifes shit done. You do need some “me” time to decompress and I am sure your son as he’s growing up will appreciate the open communication and understand the need for “me” time. Big hugs my friend – hope you are able to find a balance and find time for some self care. Much love to you
Checking in on Wednesday evening
560 days free of alcohol and weed
975 days free of cigarettes
A much better day today - no allergies and i managed a fairly active day. Got in all my exercises, ran errands and grocery shopped and prepped for tomorrow BBQ.
Had a decent visit with my doctor. Grateful for her honesty and frankness. She has sent in a referral for my eyes to be checked. The stomach pain is either a level 3 muscle tear that can take another 9 months to heal or nerve damage which does not have a end date for relief. I am holding out hope that its just the muscle tear.
A busy day tomorrow. I can handle busy – just hope i do good with being social 
I am pooped so gonna start winding down… wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening! Sending you all so much love
Reflecting a lot today.
Today I am 88 days sober. When I decided to sober up (again) this date was a milestone to reach.
Last July 3rd I got so drunk. If I hadn’t puked all over myself, I probably would have had alcohol poisoning. We were camping and my husband had to take care of me in the middle of the night. I was sick all of the 4th, nursing an awful hangover. Embarrased. Ashamed. Sick.
Did I decide to quit? Oh no.
Moderate? Of course not.
I stopped drinking all of 4 days and only because we didn’t have access to alcohol.
How could I let myself get that bad and continue to drink so heavily? How did it take 8 more months to try and sober up again?
These are my thoughts today. I’m disgusted at the hold alcohol had over me.
But today, I’m so proud of my progress.
I will not drink today. Saying “no” today is so much easier than having to face another day 0.
