158
Checking in sober.
I started with progressive muscle relaxation. Feels good. Seems profan. My mind is playing tricks. But I am boss here again! 
Love you guys 
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@Lighter thank you so much, Iām gonna steer cost from NA drinks for a while. Iāve had some before & been fine but I was in a good mood those times. This time was totally different, itās good to learn from an almost mistake. Iām so glad it registered before I did something stupid.
@JazzyS thank you, youāre always so supportive. I know I can be sensible-ish when it comes to binge eating. Iād rather not but now & then wonāt be the worst, however alcohol & nicotine are totally no-nos. I just canāt go back to that.
@Just_Laura Iām just realising how pointless it is, I could have potentially ruined everything. I was super productive yesterday, that wouldnāt have been the case if Iād given into temptation. Thank you so much
@acromouse oh youāre totally right, crappy & sober for the win!
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Day 2297. Mini vacation over. Normal routine has commenced. Up at 2am, getting stuff done around the house then off to work around 830. Getting excited for tomorrow. Starting to prep the garden for next year. I missed doing it this year.
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@Juli1 
to progressive muscle relaxation. 
to being the boss 
@Just_Laura Thank you for sharing your story. It really is important for me to be reminded where my addiction can take me. Especially after a longer period of sobriety, of ādormancyā. As you said it: It only takes one.
@Scorpn
@SoberWalker Looking forward to more photos 
@Lefty624 These thoughts about āmissingā your DOC, āI canāt have itā are normal. Everyone has them. Remember: There is a part of your brain, that is addicted to your DOC. It will do everything - and that means literally everything - possible under the sun to get it. This part of your brain does not care for you, your health, your well being, anything. It just cares for one and only one thing in the world: getting its DOC. This part of you brain - the addicted part - is not going to stop trying. It will lie, cheat, give you thoughts, images, false memories, feelings, anyything to get you to pick up the stuff. But there is another part of your brain, that actually cares for your well being, your health, your life. As long as you know which is which, as long as you know that the addicted part is only lying and trying to manipulate you, you are good. Donāt listen to the lies. Keep doing your sobriety work
@DamianUK Second clean Saturday in a row 
Well done!
@justKaitlin Congrats on double digits! Great job!
@Mindofsobermike Iām sorry youāre in a funk. Good job sharing with us. Just remember friend: This funk will pass. It is uncomfortable and may be painful. And thatās how life sometimes is like. But it is your decisions that will lead to either letting the funk be what it is, or making it worse by using or other unskillful behavior. So just think: How can I be with the funk and what can I do while it goes its way to make things good right here, right now? Sending hugs and good vibes your way 
@JonasE I am sorry to hear life is difficult for you at the moment. Sending you lots of caring vibes 
What are you doing for self care, friend?
@mamador Thank you for sharing your great attitude on life with us. Life is good 
227 sugar
91 UPF
98 gluten
73 dairy
1 overeating
Today is my daughterās birthday. She will be at my mumās till late noon. Iām going to go for groceries, take care of my IT-tools. There will be family over here for Geburtstagskaffee in the afternoon. And in the evening we are having a picnic/barbecue with friends from our communal housing project. I might be able to sneak a bit of yoga in the afternoon. Weāll see.
Today letās try for peace, kindness and freedom friends 
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Checking in at 6 months, 7 days, 9 hours & 23 minutes sober.
190 days without nicotine
1 day no binge eating.
Yesterday I could have been hungover all because Iād had a bad day in work the day before and I drank an NA beer which had me itching for a REAL drink most of the night. Instead of giving into that urge the night before I choose to lean on people for support & kept myself very busy.
Yesterday I would have had to reset my clock IF Iād taken a different path. I wouldnāt have know what time I got into bed the night before & I wouldnāt have remembered changing into my pjs & climbing into bed. I would stay in bed most of the day drifting in & out of sleep, running to the bathroom, stomach cramps, Iād make myself a cup of tea & falling asleep before I could drink it. Yesterday I would have had to go through every bloody app on my phone to see who I messaged/rang & what Iād said. (Iām a happy drunk who talks to much & over shares) Oh the dread!! I would have eaten crappy food all day & grumbled to myself about having to do housework. Iām sure I could have cried, I usually did but yesterday would have been different from the norm because I would have broken 6+ months of sobriety. I would have got out of bed properly at 2pm and told myself I was ok. I would have had to clean up the mess I made the night before from all the food I couldnāt remember I had eaten. Had a shower, went grocery & wine shopping and then waited for my son to visit and Iād obviously have to start the process all over again because if I broke my sobriety the night before then I may as well make a weekend out of it. I wouldāve taken my first sip and hated myself instantly, that doesnāt feel good, push that down & push through this first glass but once I go down the rabbit hole all bets are off. The āstop switchā in my brain broke a long time ago.
But that didnāt happen, thank god & thanks to you lovely people here, and my sister who is my biggest cheerleader in real life.
My real yesterday: I got up at 7am & took my dog out, got the laundry sorted, emptied the dishwasher, finished wallpapering my spare bedroom, did a ton of housework, organised my bills, walked into town to get myself a new pair of hiking boots, met a friend for lunch, went grocery shopping, my son called for dinner, around 6pm watched TV with him until 9pm, crocheted another line in my temperature blanket, lay my tired but sober head on my pillow around 10:30. Another day sober done & dusted
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Ha ha, question for you as you are from Germany aga. I know the old houses sometimes has a psalm on front of the building. But why I see the numbers of psalms written in chalk beside the frontdoor sometimes? Some houses had multiple of them in a row. I havenāt made a picture of it. But this are some I photographed in a church somewhere:
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This has nothing to do with psalms. It is a Epiphany or Star Singers blessings custom from the catholic tradition. A group of young people will go around their parish at 6th of January. They will sing, bless the house and collect for charity. The signs in chalk mean: 20 for the 21st century, then CMB stands for āChristus Mansionem Benedicatā (may Christ bless this house), and the last number is the currently starting year.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1483. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Funny, we have had these signs done for more than ~15 years, and I always thought they meant Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar. 
Thank you for educating me!
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No one is on their game all the time. But that it when you really test yourself. Only you can judge whether now is a time to rest, or now is a time to push yourself into not falling into old patterns. Sending wisdom and strength. 
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1425
Still busy being a non-drinker. It doesnāt appeal, and unless I actually see a container it doesnāt cross my mind. Binge eating is also going well. I have been eating small amounts of what would normally be triggering food, and it not spiraling into a binge. Not using smartphone too much either. If there is anything I would like to work on now, it is my reactiveness and ruminating. I bought a book of a month of daily reflections /journaling prompts, but never used it. Maybe I will try over the summer vacation, and try to work in myself spiritually.
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Somebody liked this picture of mine in another thread this morning, brought up this memory which hardly is a memory because itās mainly a black hole. People in the bar did ask me if it was a good idea to get on my bike to go home (I donāt remember that, but was told later). I must have thought it a good idea as the first thing I do remember is laying on the street with a bunch of folks asking if I was OK. And me saying never mind and getting on again. Next thing I remember is waking up with my face glued to my pillow.
It didnāt stop me. So glad I did stop though. Thanks for reminding me Laura. Never again! Fuck that!
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Iām here, Iām alive Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 129
Pretty much the same as yesterday, still raining, still windy,still cold. Husband is still ill.
We talked about going around in the end of the month yesterday, checked a lot of European cities. Just to ditch the idea, and decide to stay in Sweden this year.
14 y/o came up with a nice idea about an Asian day. He wanted to go to the Asian grocery store, but every grocery and snacks the boys feel like tryin. Visit the Kawaii store ,Go to an Asian restaurant and end the day with some Asian snacks and boba tea while watching some Pokemon episodes at home. And next day he wants us to cook all the exciting food they find to make a buffet.
A pretty nice idea, so weāll might be doing that one day.
The 12 y/o in his turn wanted to do the same but with a British day. In Gothenburg, theyāve got a few places where you can have afternoon tea a shop that sells British groceries and snacks, and a few British restaurants. Unfortunately theyāve gotten a lot of critic so weāll see about that.
A lot of great ideas, but personally I still want to travel. Iām so tired if this endless raining, the cold weather. The house renovation and the porch that weāre getting absolutely nowhere with. I just want to see and do something else. Not having to cook,clean, do laundry and see the half renovated mess around here.
And like that wasnāt enough, our mechanic guy Engy Benjy arrived with a halv wrecked Volvo he placed here. So I could learn how to drive. He promised to fix it up, and will be coming next week to fix it. I know he did it to be kind, especially now when my husband is ill.
But just looking at it makes me nervous and gives me anxiety.
Well thatās All Folks.
Thanks for being here.
Wishing yāall a wonderful day 
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Iāll be okey, thank you. Itās mainly the weather that brings me down.
Itās like all the bigger things is no big deal, Iāll handle it. But the small things like the lack of sunshine is really taking a toll.
Same with the drinking, itās never the big things, never the holidays or main troubles. Itās the every day life.
A little sun beam would be great, thatās all 
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Day 183 AF
Planned a lot of work today mowing clients, and of course pouring all weekendā¦ drat!! But I am hopeful to get out if it stops and can dry a little 
Up and at em early Saturday morning, but I am every day, at least the year of 2024 I have been.
I feel very good, and am enjoying things. Hired FT at my day job and doing lawn maintenance on eves and weekends still. Pretty busy.
Bike is sitting in garage all shined up and ready for a nice day. New jacket, gloves and helmet perched atop awaiting their inaugural run as well. **sigh
We have a friend on potentially her deathbed back in BC and another coming to visit next week for a couple. She is a bit of a drinker and pot smoker, but I feel no angst or anxiety with it at all. Iām comfortable enough in my sobriety to bow out when things get going along. Leave her and my wife to do their thing.
Anyway, thatās the type of wet rainy morning it is while I await some breaks in this miserable wet stuff.
Be well all
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I think it could be both as the Star Singers are related to the three kings. It is a very old custom so who knows 
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Ahaaa! Thank you for explaining this!
In Dutch itās called āDrie Koningenā (three Kings).
Children go to the houses dressed as kings and sing songs about the three kings and get candy from the people.
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Oh my gosh, your poor face 
Isnāt it just awful what addiction does to us? It is so self destructive. The inability to see danger is frightening.
Over the last couple of nights Iāve been fighting the 9:30-10pm alarm bells ringing in my head. This is when alcohol stops being served here, and when I normally begin drinking. Youāve reminded me that I cannot properly take care of myself when I drink. Thank you for re-sharing Menno, you have helped me this morning. Iām so glad youāre in a safe, happier place in your life
Checking-in sober this morning 
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Thanks for sharing, hearing everyoneās thought process is helping me so much. I know Iām not alone, and youāve reminded me that whenever Iām feeling a twinge of temptation that I should āplay the tape forwardā!
Nice work Lisa, your REAL yesterday kicks alcohols ass
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Day 378. Quiet day. Just 8 visitors 
then it will be quiet 
All good. Enjoying being alcohol free
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