So happy to reach another milestone! I’ll stay sober today too.
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Day 127
Good sleep, happy day. Got nearly 10 hours of sleep last night. Couple things are different. I drank a lot more water yesterday. I hate it. But it helped I think. I live in a brutally hot place and maybe ….water? 
I love my coffee and tea but am dehydrated. Need a gallon a day, especially when working outside. So I did. I think it helped my sleep. Sweet.
Other thing, I booked my August road trip! Got the first one done sober 3 months, and this one will be at almost 6 months sober. It’s special, too. Since I made the final decision to relocate, I haven’t been out to visit. My older brother has already moved to the area and loves it. I’ve been there many times over the years, and it’s always felt like home. Ticks every box. But it was still hard to make the decision. I’m slow to make them now. I’m sober. They’re solid when I finally make them now, though.
But I’m not sober enough to move yet. It’s like moving to another country culture-wise. And I’m sensitive to regular stress still. Just visiting is enough excitement. Even good stress can be dangerous in early sobriety. I’ll go on a regular basis for the next year. I’ve got a place to stay. Not house hunting yet but scouting out northern New Mexico. Santa Fe. Eating and running around in the mountains hiking. Hit a couple galleries. Looking forward to it! Makes me feel better. Something good I’m working on. 
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2y4m23d
Good morning friends. Hows everyone doing this fine saturday?
Im currently at work - 3 hours into my shift. Its going well. I did my prayer on the way to work and will do my gratitude list shortly. I decided to email my boss this morning, asking if i can leave at 1pm tmrw. I realized that i had enough vacation time to cover those 3 hours that I would miss and so instead of work, im going to the actual gym down the street from me. I know this might seem silly (to waste vacation time on exercise) but exercise is a HUGE aspect of self care for me. Ive struggled this week with getting up on time to go to my buildings gym and have started to feel burnt out with the daily ongoings of life. So i thought, why not use my vacation time to do a little self care. A good full body workout at the actual gym that i go to. Im really excited actually.
So last night i binged ate on icecream. Not good for me AT ALL. Emotions have been increased this past week and i guess it finally caught up to me last night. I will need to remind myself in the future that food (just like drugs) does not fix the issue.
I did plan out my food for today and am determined to get back on track. Id HATE for me to gain back the weight i lost already. I DONT want to start from square 1 again.
And Ive also had a couple minor thoughts of using my DOC this week.
I think all these signs are showing me that i need slow down, take a moment or 2 for myself, and really focus on self care and looking at things differently. Things in life are ONLY as stressful as i allow them to be. Its about perspective. I create the stress internally. Its not necessarily the actual event that causes it. So i need to look at how i can look at events differently. This will be good practice for next week.
Have a great day everyone! 
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Congratulations on 90 days! 
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Love those tiles. It looks amazing.
I’ve looked at several different ones for my kitchen (especially the colorful ones that my husband dislikes )
I might buy them now to make something similar.
Thank you for showing us.
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Thank you, fairly easy to do and nice texture feel on the finish 
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Congratulations!
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Hi Team, today I’m feeling a bit down. As I write this I recognize I sound like a complainer.
I am being troubled by regret over losing my family. Specifically, getting divorced in 2017 due to my selfish actions. The pain I caused to my ex-wife and our children. It still haunts me and I can’t get rid of it. The relationship I’ve been in since 2019 has also just ended. Again on my account due to selfishness in substance abuse.
I am almost 50 and to have this much wreckage and starting all over again with no family (apart from kids) and limited support network. Angry and frustrated I find myself in yet another situation where I am suffering and have caused suffering as a result of my actions which are a result of all the crap in my subconscious mind. My hurting soul.
I just want peace and happiness. Joy and laughter. Safety and stability. To get out of my past. To stop letting myself think I’m washed up or a failure or a bad person. To enjoy a healthy and loving relationship with a woman. To not worry about the future or finances. To be a trustworthy and dependable father to my kids.
Sorry for the verbal poo poo
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We’re here to listen. I hope you find some peace soon
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104 days sober today feeling gooodd nice 24 everyone
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Checking in day 187 AF 
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@Tragicfarinelli super cool looking. What a great idea and awesome transformation
@wahtisnormal that all makes sense on wanting to save up and purchase something rather than rent. I just hate seeing you enduring so much on a daily basis. Hope you are able to find peace and serenity in your current situation 
84 days strong 
@Vanessa8 look at you go…3 months and kicking ass …keep stacking up the days
@Lighter I agree that even good stress is too much stress in early sobriety. You got to listen to yourself and know where to draw your limits. Super happy that you are going to vacation there in August…that will be so much fun!
@Butterflymoonwoman not silly at all! I totally get the need to work out as a means of self care (physically and mentally). Glad you are able to take the time tomorrow to do this for yourself
@Aussie_Tiger the addiction has already taken so much from you. You are now sober and clean and working on your sobriety. Doing what needs to be done to stay on course and protect yourself from going backwards. Don’t focus on the past and what you do or don’t have at this junction in your life. Here and now you have been given this chance to better yourself, to recover and start the healing process. You obviously have people who care enough to create this intervention and being you to the states for rehab. That’s not nothing. Keep working on yourself and your journey…you will find people that fit in with your new life moving forward 
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Thank you Jasmine . I hate to admit I’m kinda delicate right now. 
I’d like to grow and get much stronger. Even a sober trip there is a challenge now. Going to a new place where I don’t know anyone (except brother) will require super sobriety. And confidence I don’t have yet. I look to you and others past a year and see more of who I’d like to become before I go. And maybe make a little coin before I go . Thank you
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Sorry to hear of your pain. I can relate to some of what you have written. It will get better with sobriety. Really hurts right now. Sending you hugs and much support
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@JazzyS Thanks so much Jazzy. The next few months could be very challenging for me.
My recovery plays out in my mind. That’s where the battle is. I am trying to re-learn hope. Positive living. Trust in the certainty everything will be ok. Love for self and by extension…others. Forgiveness. Longing to experience true and lasting joy in this thing called life.
Bless you for your kind words.
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Thank you @Lighter. Me entertaining my own self pity is unhelpful and selfish. Still, I publish it here as others may feel the same and not feel alone, and I may look back and re-read these posts when I’m better.
You’re right…with time and sobriety things will get better.
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Just checking in on 360 days of freedom. 
days til the one year milestone…
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Yeah I know the feeling @Rob11 . Had one of those the other night woke up panicked I was hung over almost feeling dizzy took me a minute to come round and realise it was a nightmare…wasn’t very pleasant
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@JazzyS me too, I haven’t had to play the tape forward many times but it does work along with other items from my toolbox.
@Mno thanks for sharing, you’re not the only one who’s done this. I have cycled drunk before, I fell several times but because I was invincible I didn’t stop drinking or cycling under the influence. My neighbours found me lying on the ground outside my house still “on” my bicycle. I didn’t know I took my bike out & I didn’t know I fell, all I remember is being woken up in the street. We’ve never spoken about that incident. Looking back that should have been a wake up call but I drank for another 5 or 6 years. I’m glad we both stopped.
@Vanessa8 woohoo!!! 90 days is amazing
@Pattycake so excited for you to reach you one year milestone, keep up the good work.
2nd check in today. I went on a long walk with my son, sister-in-law & niece today. I’m so happy to be sober & capable of organising & participating in activities like this. We got rained on 4 times but we all still had fun.
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