Best of luck 
you got this. 
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Just checking in on day 328. 
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Huge congrats on one year! Thatās wonderful!
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Congratulations on your year and goal!!
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Congratulations on your 60 days!!
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Thanks @acromouse @JazzyS ā¦It really helps hearing that itās still early days, otherwise you think the problem is you and not the alcohol and drugs if that makes senseā¦ Iāve a lot on my plate just now and struggling a little. Itās like two steps forward one step back. Still moving in the right direction. Iāll definitely be working on my weekend routine. I always appreciate your comments and feedback
Checking in day 44ā¦ itās incredible to me Iāve made it this far. Thanks allā¦hope youāre all grand! 
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you made me laugh here Billyā¦ cheers.
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Checking in day 98
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Thatās exactly what it is Daniel. Thatās what life is. You know, I do actually believe that it is us thatās the problem. And us using alcohol and drugs a symptom. First condition on working on the problem, on us that is, is taking away the alcohol and drugs. Which you did. Which is great. And now on we go, two steps forward, one step back indeed. Youāre doing great! Also n days when it doesnāt feel so great. Maybe especially on those days. Making it through the hard days and still moving forward is what itās about, as well as building ourselves a better life, one day at a time. Congrats on 44 days and keep going friend.
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Thank you @Mno thereās always that question, is it the abuse that comes from self medicating or are the symptoms the result of the abuseā¦which came first? Are we able to handle mental health issues when weāre young and become more sensitive to it when we age? I was an untamed rocket from the age of being able to walk and never calmed down. I honestly believe it was going to kill me. I think you are right with what you saidā¦I hope so, makes me feel more compassion for myself. Thanks again.
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For me personally itās clear: I never grew up. I felt I had to survive on my own form a very young age. And I did. On my own. With childish tactics, isolating myself, not trusting anybody. Booze and drugs were a good accompaniment to that way of life and at the same time prevented me from growing up. As I kept this up for decades, other mental health problems showed up too, like depression and addiction. Only when I quit using I gained the possibility to work on living a normal life, and to grow up. To look for connection, to go into therapy. Took me till my 50ās to finally start growing up. Iām still learning. I never had a good life, not as a kid and not later. Only now am I coming into my own. Because I quit using and started working on myself.
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Hi sober fam! Itās feels so good to be back on hereā¦ I forgot my password and couldnāt receive the password reset email, just when I needed it most, but finally found it now after an intensive search! I dropped my studies and work and took a flight to the opposite end of the country around mid march with the intention just to travelā¦ Itās difficult to describe just how much experience and personal growth Iāve made since! Thereās nothing quite like travelling folksā¦ Only now my emotional stamina (ā¦& sobriety) is being pushed to itās limit due to two stresses on my mind: at the forefront, Iām parting ways with a fling I developed deeper feelings for tomorrow. And additionally, Iām currently somewhere completely different from where I initially intended to go and will be heading tomorrow, but itās cold &/or rainy there now. And I just feel blue about everythingā¦ My emotions are all over the bloody place. I donāt know what to do. Iāll travel the next week or two alone, just to recollect my senses, but I just need this community to lean on right now as Iāve been sober for 80 days now (in 3 months in 10 daysā time!) and donāt want to throw it all down the drain because of some irrational, out of my control, emotion-driven mistakes. Time and mindfulness will heal my out of whack emotions if I let themā¦ I really, really want this. And I know me, and how tempting it can be for me to relapse when I feel downā¦ Whether you read this or not, I just needed to vent and someone to talk about my feelings to. Thankyou for being here sober famā¦ My reception wonāt be good for a while, but Iām sure Iāll be logging in a bit more to stay alert now that I know I need it with these heavy emotional triggers going offā¦
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Maybe thats it, it puts everything on hold when in survival mode until youāre ready and able to find the answers, as difficult as it is. Well done on surviving and getting the help you were needing. Feel like Iām going through this on my own. I do need help. I need to ask. Clearly connection is key, the proof being this community and the days Iāve racked up. Thanks for sharing Mnoš
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Day 346. Late check in for me. Work was OK. At a webinar this evening. On call last night but it was OK.
Determined to lose some weight and keep it off. Tired but a good day
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Checking in day 155 AF 
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2y3m22d
Afternoon friendsā¦ hope ur all doing well this fine tuesday!
I barely made it thru the night last night. My son was sooo unsettled and needing alot of medical attention (more so than usual). I was beyond exhausted this morning. After getting him on the bus to school i went and treated myself to a Tim Hortons coffee while on my way to the grocery store. I wouldve loved to sleep all day but things need to get done. I got home n cleaned up the apartment a bit and then had enough energy at that point to do an hour of cardio. I just needed to get going haha Now going to get some prep work done for the cupcakes and try and relax. Thankfully we have a nurse tonight so i can sleep bcuz tmrw is an insane day! Thats about it for today 
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Good for you mama!! You are such an inspiration, and I do not mean that at all to be patronizing in the sense around your realoty with your childs needs. I hope you (and your son) get a more restful sleep tonight & sending lots of hugs your way on a day where you defs are not at your most rested but you got shit done anyway! XO.
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Hey all,
Checking in on my peace finding journey.
I know in life it is good to find forgiveness to those who have hurt you, though i have some hurts from family who have cut me off that I kust pray for (or meditate on or ask for answers). I have come to understand how harmful my stepmother is, and that she had always been trying to push me and my sister out. I never took the time to understand what narcicism, gaslighting or love bombing wereā¦yet everything now is so clearly before me. In some instances, i am not convinced forgiveness is what I need to obtain peace. As with my brother in law who killed my sister. I dont think āforgivingā him for my own peace is what I need to do either, as forgiveness in this sense is not even for me to give. I am on a journey here with this, as well as my step sister who has cut me off (I find forgiveness here more readily and immediately present, amidst hurt and disgust) and finding peace around my own father and his role in my life (acceptance of who he is, the question looming is how far does that acceptance go). For now the answer i have before me is to just live my own life, as it is and to understand the boundaries around myself, my heart and my own little family. To value who I am, as I acknowledge my own mistakes and short comings, but to no longer find the need to accept the unacceptable for the sake of peacekeeping. My hope is to never lay this level of dysfunction at my chuldrens feet, and to continue to get to know myself and value myself. My goal here is to find peace, so that these hurts and frustrations are not swirling in my head on and on and on, and to just accept what is and how it is best not to sit at certain tables.
My mom said something which lifted my spirits immensely, and come to think of it i must let her know. I have not been working in the traditional sense these past few weeks, and part of me also internalizes the way we in society devalue the work women and mothers doā¦to the point where I feel judged for not seeking a job immediately. My husband is looking for a new job, and our plan is to weather the summer with our finances as is as he seeks a new job and once he does then i can look for one that fits his schedule (as I generally am the default parent, having worked from home the entirety of my chuldrens lives). I would like to find something that fits the schedule I would like, so I can actually work outside of tbe home (at least part of the time) but still allows me to be presebt for our children. I dont particularly care if I make less, or if it is something part time as my goal is more around being present for my kids while they are small. And my mom said to me, āthat is such a responsible decision to makeā (not meaning any slight in anyway to those who work savage hours at their jobs, we all do what we have to do!) And just those words feom her lifted me. And now i am sitting here thinking about how small words of encouragement during challenging times are so vital to our spirit. You dont have to do as i do, or even understand itā¦my husband and I have always lived lives thst pushed against the grain, and we have recieved a lot of side eye criticism for it. But we are happy and at peace with these decisions and ourbpath, just having her lottle words thereā¦meant so much.
Off to finish the grape trellis then to make dinner xo. Stay strong everyone and find peace with YOU just as you are for today. Xo.
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Day 137.
Iāve been solo parenting since Saturday, as my wife is away on a trip. Pushing through burnout at work. Iāve been crazy productive the last few days, but just hit a wall this afternoon.
Glad to be not considering trying to find enjoyment and motivation from a drug of choice. Itās all on me to get through this.
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