Sorry for that, he sounds like a real charm. At least you see the wood for the trees here and name the abuse and toxic traits. Can you start slowly planning for your own freedom? Stay strong, you should be safe in your recovery. What a dick to make this even harder for you.
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Hey Jazzy, thanks for the mentionā¦yep! Very busyā¦Iām so exhausted, I have such a busy day ahead and itās been a stressful week. Iāve got the weekend off so hopefully get some recovery time. This was meant to be the end of my two weeks off and I think Iāve worked everyday. Iām on the verge of saying āfuck this shit!ā Still sober though with no intentions of drinking.
Iām glad youāre getting all your med checks done. I hope that comes good for you and you enjoy a good day at prideš
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Brilliant @Mno when things like that happen it makes you realise how important and influential your Job is. Well done friend.
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Sorry to hear this Zoe, at least as youāre going through all this you have your 54 daysā¦ thatās huge! and it would be so much harder on day 0ā¦I hope thereās a good day round the corner for youš
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@JazzyS That makes sense about the birds bc Iāve seen a couple raccoons climbing to the top of those trees to get onto the roof (apparently theyāre living in the chimney 
)
@tailee17 I really feel for your situation 
I know that man very well and understand the feelings of anguish and despair he brings. It took me a very long time to escape mine, and even longer to recover mentally, but it did happen. One day you will be free 
(if thatās your end goal of course) Congrats on 100 days! Stay strong 
Itās easier to handle sober.
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Today was amazing 
I slept great thru the stormy night and woke up renewed and refreshed. Work couldnātāve gone better. Perfectly timed tables so I never felt stressed. No boss til about an hour before I left. Got home psyched for Skateland!
Turns out very few people noticed the line on the flyer that said to dress up, so I really stuck out in my neon 80s gear that glowed under the black lights 
Idc! It was SO FUN! Not to mention a great workout. Figured I oughta get my moneyās worth and skated til my legs were jello 
Caught up with an old coworker I hadnāt seen in forever. Weāve been thru much of the same bullshit in our lives. She has a daughter a year younger than mine whoās father is also in jail right now, for almost the exact same reason! Nice to have someone to talk to who really understands. Weāre planning to get together soon.
We brought my daughterās best friend along bc her mother is apparently agoraphobic. After, they asked to play at their house for a while, so I finally got to know her a little. Sheās going thru her 2nd divorce from an abusive man. Her energy, or lack there of, felt like my own after my last relationship. Negative, bitter and very low. Moments like these I appreciate my past traumas. Bc of them, I can see under the surface of a woman most people might label as off-putting. I see that someone hurt her. Sheās doing the best she can. She even has the exact same reason as me for not wanting to date again. I donāt trust my judgment and canāt handle falling for the wrong man again, although thatās slowly getting better for me. I hope we can become closer. Iād love to help bring her out of the darkness.
Which leads me to the final, and even more emotional, portion of my night. A visit from a mutual friend from that ex of mine. It went very late so this story will have to wait until tomorrow. Have a great 24 everyone
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Day 154 AF
Just putting in time and distance. Working a lot.
Peace
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188 days
Too sick for the gym this morning. Just took it easy today.
Going on another little road trip tomorrow, but will probably leave a bit later so the kids can get one more training in.
Just sat down to watch the Mandalorian. I started it when it first came out but never got through the first season. Starting again at the beginning
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Checking in again because Iām tempted easier when Iām on my ownā¦ I intend to travel the next week or so on my own until I reach the coast. From there Iāll probably stay at some hostels for a lil break from the rooftop tent before continuing, and hopefully find some more travel buddies to share at least parts of the journey and costs withā¦ The recent breakup with a fling Iād developed deeper feelings for has sent my emotions whirling, which seemed so stable and for granted before. I just need some time to reflect, process things and move onā¦ Iāve grown in leaps and bounds since setting off on my little adventure nearly 82 days ago, so many experiences itād be difficult to describe, but Iām grateful. And I think itās only just begun 
I just need to stand by me. Be mindful. Avoid triggers. Think positive. Appreciate the momentā¦ Before writing this an unexpected craving almost convinced me to drop it all and just relapse, but Iām feeling a bit more clear-headed and better again having written it all out. I know what I want in life. One of the big reasons for my setting off travellingā¦ To find myself. Whatever that means 
, I canāt do it without sobriety.
I hope you have a wonderful &/or productive rest of your day or night whoever and wherever you are right now friend 
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Is it Day 98 or 99? I think itās 98. Got mixed up I know the triple digits are coming this weekend!
Good to be home after adventures. Travel has a way of blowing out the cobwebs with great force. The first two days I was dodging (and, not) severe weather in Texas and Oklahoma, none of which was forecast. It got quite scary at times, but I always found places to wait it out while the storms passed. No tornadoes! Glad for that 
Rest of the trip went very well. Did lots of wandering through the Ozarks. I didnāt consider a drink. How is that even possible? It sure is a relief getting this off my back. I want to keep it going.
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Checking in on day 586 alcohol free.
Wishing a happy and sober Friday to you all.
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@mira_d oh wow loveā¦I absolutely love this news and do hope it all pans out. Sounds like a great opportunity and Iām glad that your nephew will be receiving the care he needs and still be close with the family
@Jeanine so glad to hear that you went into the weekend prepared and ready. Even more excited that no one is drinking and so the temptations are not present. Hope you enjoy a lovely weekend with friends
@1in8billion thanks friendā¦so nice to have you back with us tooā:people_hugging: 82 days and counting 
glad you came here to write it out rather than give in to that craving. You are about to hit 3 monthsā¦keep this momentum going. I love that you are traveling and it sounds like a wonderful adventureā¦this will stay with you for your lifetime to enjoy it and know we are here to support you
@Sabrina80 lolā¦yeah sleep is so necessary and bad sleep is totally meh. Iām glad I went to bed at 10ā¦was knocked out by 11ā¦ hope it keeps improving. Thanks love ā¦hope your long day is manageable and you get a chance to enjoy Fri 
much love back to you
@tailee17 Iām sorry Lam. That is no way to be treated ever let alone when you are healing from a surgery. You should be caref for and tended to and if course sleep in the damn bed! This is frustrating to read and I canāt imagine how you must be feeling. I do think itās funny that he had to clean it up ā¦God works in mysterious ways. Sending you love and loads of healing
@Timetochange glad you didnāt act on those thoughts. Now that your year is coming closer those thoughts may increaseā¦ remember they are lies and even one is way too many ā¦you have come this farā¦ keep it going
@acromouse thanks friendā¦wow some impressive timers ā¦ congratulations on your double digits of no overeating. Enjoy your yoga
So beautiful Mnoā¦love that you were able to see someone benefiting from your support and care.
@Danwood85 aah man you work too hard ā¦I do hope you get the weekend to chill out and relax. I learned the hard way that we need time to decompress cause burn out mode sucks! It plays havoc on your mind and health. Thanks friend
ā¦ excited for tonightā¦ feeling fairly good so I think Iāll be just fine 
@JennyH how are you doing? Been thinking about you lately and hope you are doing well
Happy Friday everyone
Iām glad to be up and feeling active. Heading out for my walk but wanted to check in first. Life these days gets so busy these days and Iām really enjoying being a part of it. Trying not to overdo it or backslideā¦this is the lesson Iām still trying to learn.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free dayā¦ sending you all so much love
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Thatās so awesome!! Huge congrats on 4 months 
As for myself, Iām checking in on day 1454 and I hope everyone has a good one!
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Debating wether to have a little BBQ in the garden - more just cooking dinner on it. Not a gathering.
I have anxious thoughts of being out here but I have been really tackling that by making myself be out here building the catio (finished now). And now today I get to relax out here.
.Iām thinking donāt go putting myself off of a nice day by cooking out here. Maybe I can do that tomorrow.
Maybe this evening I can just bring my dinner out and eat out here - start off easy.
I canāt be harmed being in my garden so facing these fears is feeling good.
All the pets are loving it so much too.
I am too. The sunās out. Although only get sun for about 3 hours Iām grateful to get any in the garden.
I think if I prepare the meat with marinade, chop the vegetables and have it all ready to go on skewers for tomorrow then I can do that.
Today I think just enjoy the day.
Itās lovely, Iām glad I have finished the catio, and can start enjoying the nice days instead of having to build build build - it has been worth it.
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Wow girl. You are crushing it.
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- London is mental and busy and even going to the hospital in Paddington just reminded me why I prefer my little shops in my little London suburb. All my skin crap done now, had what felt like thousands of pictures taken of my skin lesions and suspect moles. Plus had my GP consult whilst waiting for my hospital appointment. Door to door all done in an hour and fifteen minutes from my front door. Gratitude here needs to be acknowledged for living in a city with a world class transport system and busy major hospitals. Iām grateful of our NHS and will never take health care providers for granted.
. Need to start my meal prep for my friendsā visit tomorrow. Vegan and non vegan versions. Iām feeling good about my sobriety. I told my friends that I have soft and hot drinks but would not mind them bringing alcohol should they wish. They can take it all home afterwards, Iāve zero interest. I spent three days away with these girls at the seaside and I was successfully sober then and explained my life choice to them and how I felt towards sobriety, so I expect their support wholly. I have weightlifting and yoga class tonight and thatās all folks.
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Checking in at 81 days. Big day with the little man tomorrow, swimming lessons start back up then a birthday party in the afternoon. Very keen to spend time with him after such a busy week.
Have a great weekend everyone!
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2y3m25d
I had such a rough sleep. Back pain, cramps, and anxiety over some news I recieved last night kept me up for quite awhile. Last night our full time nurse told us she was leaving and moving to another province. She is here with us until the end of June. I am devasated obviously. And also worried about who is going to take her place. I of course have already emailed the scheulder about this and found out shes away until monday. So i have to wait. I am praying hard for a positive resolution. I know my HP has my back so just have to go with the flow of things and do my best to advocate for my son if need be.
Anyway, today i am making my sons birthday cake. I already have it started. Hes not feeling well this morning so i kept him home. Hope hes feeling better for Sunday.
Thats about it for me. Have a great day everyone 
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Day 48
Just checking in.
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