Thank u so much!! 
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Wow, im so sorry u have to go thru all this. Your living situation sounds incredibly exhausting, overwhelming, overstimulating and depressing. I feel like that would be like walking on eggshells around a person, constantly being on edge. Its really hard to focus on ourselves and our recoveries when we are constantly surrounded by others who make our living situations unbareable. I can relate in a different sense but can understand the mental/emotional toll it takes on our well being. I really hope that u can enjoy the concert. Im glad ur staying sober thru all this. I hope ur evening improves hugs
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Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I seriously appreciate it, it means more than you know 
Y e s - that completely nails it, its just like walking on eggshells. I am so sorry you can relate, I wish neither of us had to deal with that, and I hope things have improved for you in that sense too 
Planning on enjoying the concert while reserving my energy lolol. I hope your night is going well
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No problem 
i just really felt for u when reading ur post bcuz like i said i can relate to it in a sense. Ive had a living situation in the past that felt very much like walking on eggshells, lots of critisicm and constant noise and verbal/emotional toxicity. So i just really needed to say something to let u know that u were heard. What ur going thru is a rough situation to be in. Its soo important to try and find a place somewhere thats quiet and peaceful. Nature used to be my go to
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Absolutely! Nature is definitely my favorite place to spend time 
I completely hear you on that. Iām so glad you were able to get out of that situation definitely helps to hear that someone else was able to get out of it. Itāll take time but itās definitely not impossible.
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Checking in at the end of day 27.
@JazzyS @acromouse thanks! It has been a very good weekend so far!
This is a short post. Itās late and Iām tired so going to hit the hay.
Have a good night everyone.
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Day 101. Stressful painful but grateful I can feel all those things sober.
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1827
Just another day. Working weekend ahead. But also a special one. And I just found out itās called a quinquennium in English. I like that. Itās my quinquennium 
. I got here one day at a time and I will continue to do it like that.
Thereās work involved in Recovery but itās a work of love and so bloody worth it. The next five years Iāll try to keep working on connection. Connection to myself and connection to others. Because the opposite of addiction is connection.
We can never do this alone. Alone is death. Alone is what we did when we were in active addiction. Never again friends. Weāre in this together. So grateful to see you all here, to be with you all, to not be alone. Have as good a day as you can. Lots of love from Luna and me.
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Congratulations Menno!!! 
Youāre a true pillar to this community 
Itās an honor to have your story shared with us every day. Thank you for always being here and spreading your wisdom. Keep doing the damn thing!
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Congratulations @Mno
Super proud of you! You could really still be drinking. So happy for you that you quit!!
Thanks for teaching me a new word in my own language, probably not for the first time, and thanks for being genuinely supportive and an inspiration to so many in your real life and this community!
Have a nice day ā¦ hope your trains run okay. 
Celebrate in some way, even if just in your mind and heart! Itās a big deal!
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Wow Dana, you could make a living out of this!
Making cupcakes and cake all day, they look soooo good! 
Hope you all will have a lovely day tomorrow and congratulations for your son and you all 
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Happy Anniversary Menno!!!
5 years clean, thats a big deal woooooo!!!
Thank-you for being my friend and always making sure that I am ok. Congrats, I love you.
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Wow, he is going to love his cake. What a talented mumma he has, lucky little boy. Happy birthday to Gianni. Big hugs to you both. 
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Congratulations Menno!!
Canāt pronounce that Q word, but that doesnāt matter 
Have a good day at work and maybe buy a treat afterwards? This is deffinitely a good reason for a chocolat cake 
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*Day 2089 
Stil a bit handicapped because my hearing is lost on one ear. It makes me tired to get trough the day trying to be a part of the world around me.
When you canāt hear properly you miss conversation and when that is for a longer period you are addapting, but the people around you too.
That isnāt always a good thing though. While people know they have to show me their face when talking because I can lipread they also talk less to me. Ore when I say āCan you repeat that, I canāt hear youā. The answer also can be ānever mind, it wasnāt importantā. I understand that anwer, but it isnāt a constructive one.
I feel not connected, but standing outside the hearing world. Donāt mean to moan, but happy that my hearing handicap is just temporary.
At least for now and in this ammount of loss.
My hearing has always been less then normal because of an surgery in my youth.
So letās add another day sober and deaf 
For me not for you, you can do just the first part
Have a good day ore night all 
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Congratulations @Mno !! Incredible X
@Butterflymoonwoman - that cake is amazing I hope your son has a wonderful birthday X
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@Mno Congrats on 5 fucking years! So much work 
Really impressive. Treat yourself. And thanks for being here every day, helping, supporting, sharing your own ups and downs, always having a kind word.
@tailee17 Sending you heeling vibes in every way possible 
@Butterflymoonwoman This cake is something! Your boy is lucky to have such a great and talented mum. And donāt feel too bad about the take away. Sometimes we indulge. Thatās ok. Go easy on yourself, youāve got a whole party to prepare for.
@wahtisnormal I for my part do not know what you are going through. I have never been in a situation like yours, nor had to live in an environment so abusive. It sounds horrible to be honest. But I totally get why you are so angry about your friendās words. As you already said, it was probably a poor choice of words, not meant like that, but nonetheless not very skilful. What is skilful is how you are handling the situation: You are not drinking. Instead venting here, looking for support wherever you can, using your tools to relax, going to a concert even if you donāt feel like it cause you know it will make you feel better. This is real work. Really impressive work. Iām hoping for a better tomorrow for you friend.
@CATMANCAM Sending you much energy for your de-cluttering session today 
When I feel like Iām on a mission I can handle my anxiety better.
@Lighter Thanks for sharing your travel experiences and your hopeful and optimistic outlook with us. Needed that today
@Thirdmonkey Wow. What a day. I hope you have people around you to help you take care of your emotional needs. Hugs friend
@Twizzlers Wise words. Using will make everything worse. And I like your step by step battle plan how to reclaim your garden.
@SoberWalker Iām sorry your hearing is giving you trouble. I have a bit of an idea how this makes one feel isolated. There was a prolonged period in my life when I couldnāt hear on one ear or at least only heard static due to an infection. Being around people and trying to have a conversation was so exhausting and frustrating. So often I resigned to just sit there and that made me feel very much not connected. Like you said: feeling outside. I very much hope this passes very soon. My father in law just got a hearing aid and is so very happy about getting this part of his life back. Fingers crossed your hearing picks up right away 
@Ofmiceandroach Congrats on four months Well done!
199 sugar
63 UPF
70 gluten
49 dairy
11 overeating
My hormonal upheavals are currently making my life really difficult. Iām almost constantly bombarded by experiences of high anxiety, stress, overwhelm, dread, depression, hopelessness, anger, whatnot. My sleep is ruined and Iām just exhausted. I have an appointment on Monday to discuss a change in HRT.
But there is also sunshine, and bird song, and beautiful nature.
Stuff around the flat to be done. I want to take care of my IT-tools, do some groceries, run some errands, laundry, take care of my house plants. Keeping myself busy always helps. A bit of yoga in the afternoon. And I hope to meet friends in the evening for a night of board games. Company will do my good.
Whatever happens, letās try and stay in peace, kindness and freedom friends 
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Yay!,! Congratulations, thatās really impressive. Grateful you share with us how itās done 
.
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Day 350.going to do some gardening. Maybe just relaxā¦ I was having alot of intrusive thoughts last night. So Iām staying focused and will reread the long list of things I screwed up on
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189 days
Gym in the morning, for the kids and my wife and I. Then a quick stop at home before our road trip. Was an easy drive now the kids are just playing with the cousins.
Kids have a tournament tomorrow so weāll see how that goes
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