Been pretty depressed lately, thankfully its been in a more lowkey way, though, and not super intense. Got through the 5 day music festival completely sober and super proud of myself for that. Just got home from work and ate, now I’m just sitting here, probably gonna shower and sleep soon. I just feel so bored and lonely and empty. Been feeling that way a lot and it’s definitely not my favorite combination of emotions. Going to a birthday party tomorrow and not feeling ready to socialize. I’ll probably just stay for a bit and then leave early. Maybe I’ll have more fun than I anticipate, who knows. Everything just feels kind of pointless right now and empty. I think what I’m missing is connection. I have friendships and whatnot but ever since my fiance died, nothing is the same. I dont have that deep of a relationship or feel that close to anyone anymore. It all just feels so surface-level, even when its not. Its just not enough. And i just have to live with that now. And im feeling serious lack of interest in things, nothing just seems fun right now.
Yes!!! The opposite of addiction is connection. You ever saw the TED talk by the guy who coined that phrase? It’s really eye opening. I’m going to see it again right now. Glad you’re here friend. We’re in this together.
I’m sorry to hear about your job, but you are good to be shot of that shit…
You have reminded me of my childhood holidays in Sunny Beach and Bulgaria. It was absolutely epic and I remember them fondly. I for one will be grateful for any photos as that place has a real special place in my heart enjoy it!
EMDR can be quite remarkable with a top practitioner. My wife went through a long treatment of EMDR therapy and it was excellent for her. I hope you get gains too my friend, you deserve it.
Day 371. Mazey festival near us all weekend. Basically lots of food, things going on and people getting absolutely drunk out of their skins… All weekend. It was the festival last year where I gave up drinking afterwards. My wife had been away. I went into town at lunch for a quick pint and then ten hours later staggered home. Incoherent…armed with a kebab…my wife called at 9.30pm.and said I was incoherent.
A year later and I’m sober.
We may walk down later and grab some food and see what’s going on and then come home.
Thanks of course i will share photos you have to come ones again in Bulgaria and to see the other places near to Sunny Beach for example - Nessebar another beautiful place to stay at the seaside Nesebar - Wikipedia
Hey, I have stayed there as well! Nesebar is gorgeous. Am I correct in thinking there are a lot of tiny churches across that area? I have really lovely memories of walking around trying to count and find them, meeting donkeys and street cats and dogs. Eating a kind of pretzel from the street stalls. I went back in the 90s so a long time ago, but I got all my fake cassettes there from market vendors and just had the best time. I also got nasty heatstroke, but that’s another story. I love Bulgaria. Also remember the jellyfish as big as dustbin lids and catfish in the sea when I was snorkeling. Good times
@wahtisnormal Congrats on getting sober through the music festival. Very impressive I’m sorry your mood is so uncomfortable right now. Sometimes it’s like that. I don’t like to feel like that at all. Sometimes it helps to just try and know that it will pass. @Mno Your therapy experience sounds like something. Wow. Have a nice ride today Btw have you read Hari’s book about depression? I really liked it. @Lefty624 I can only suggest you set some boundaries. I know a lot of people who don’t have alcohol in their home and ask their guests also to not bring any. I find this very reasonable. After all it’s a poison. If they want to use it, it’s their choice, but they can do it somewhere else. Don’t overthink it. Just keep doing your thing, one day at a time. @SoberWalker Have fun in your yurt and maybe you’ll have some pictures for us And the weight on the bar is just an arbitrary number. Doing the work is what matters. Have fun! @Zse Enjoy the beach and have a great trip! @Kareness Thanks for sharing your phone story. It really is a matter of perspective. Our minds are strange things. @Butterflymoonwoman It’s so thoughtful of you to have a gift for your nurse @Brittc Congrats on two weeks! @stand_like_an_oak Congrats on your month and nice to hear you could enjoy the party sober @GOKU2019 Long commutes suck the life out of you. Hope today is going to be less stressful for you.
220 sugar
84 UPF
91 gluten
68 dairy
2 overeating
Did my ‘run your butt off’ run for today. So feeling good about myself.
There is all kind of errands and stuff at home to be done today: laundry, taking care of my IT and plants, groceries… Yoga in the afternoon. Not sure about the evening, maybe cinema or a dharma meeting.
There is a city festival going on today which is quite a fun idea. Our city is oriented along a river and its steep valey which makes it more oblong than circular like most cities, like a long tube. This city festival is called ‘Langer Tisch’ meaning long table. Basically the main throughfare along the city’s axis is closed for traffic and instead everyone can take out their table or chairs or whatnot and bring them out into the street. There will also be music bands and all kinds of activities. This way over the stretch of some kilometers people are celebrating and having fun.
I’m not much of a festival person - too many people for my taste. But as part of it is just down the street from where I live, I’m going take a walk and get a taste of the partying there. Maybe even meet some friends.
Whatever this summer day may bring, let’s try for peace, kindness and freedom friends
210 days
Took the kids to a playground for lunch, came home and just chilled for the rest of the day.
Got a little body weight workout in.
My team was playing on TV this evening and got the win.
Hopefully the kids are feeling better tomorrow so I can go to the gym for sparring, its been a bit cold and they’ve been a bit sick for me to have them out early in the morning.
So you know it well well now it doesn’t have donkeys anymore but it’s almost the same as your memories. Im happy to hear that you love Bulgaria you will see later how is now i hope now to not have a jellyfish
Happy vacation! Enjoy the yurt and your surroundings! Not to worry, this fort will be held down in your absence. @SoberWalker you will be missed and we will see a refreshed you in a week. 🩷
820 days AF
Still struggling with facing the deep stuff. Somedays im finding myself wishing for a wine near a cosy fire [its winfer here]. I wish there was a really nice non alcoholic red wine that doesnt taste like cordial.
Any suggestions?
I check in on the journal every single day since this journey began. For over a month every day on the rate scale I’ve placed an 8. Feeling pretty darn good but not over the top good.
I thought a couple weeks ago, man, when am I gonna be a 9 or even a 10, feeling like a million bucks mentally and physically… I figured out today, man I love if my everyday is an 8, if that’s where I am now… no more 3,4 or 5’s, a solid 8’ish.
I now see my 8’s as a huge victory when I’ve felt like that for months now. Every single day this month, an 8!!
Life is great being sober. Thanks for sharing everything that you all do! I appreciate everyone here.
Day 391 AFAF.
Yesterday was good as it was the leavers assembly for my daughter’s primary school. However, I didn’t follow my normal intermittent eating plan, and I broke my fast with a couple of sugary biscuits instead of my usual fruit salad and kefir which seemed to make me feel really unwell and lightheaded. When we got back from the picnic I had to have a lie down for a couple of hours until I felt better. I’m glad I can let myself do that now rather than drinking my way through feeling unwell and then potentially heading for burnout.
This morning I’ve had a lie in and have now completed my puzzles in bed with coffee. All I have to do today is pick up some cheese for our pizzas tonight so I may just incorporate a nice walk while I’m at it.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day!
Pomegranate juice, tart cherry juice, cranberry juice. Hibiscus tea. I realize the first three may taste similar ( sweet ) to the cordial you didn’t want. However. They are all delicious in their own right, are full of antioxidants and good things for you and look pretty in a glass. The hibiscus tea, either hot or added to carbonated water reduces blood pressure and is physically relaxing to many.
Nice to see you. Sorry to see you’re struggling some. Glad you posted. Happy Winter. Almond milk with hot chocolate in it is good. Hot apple cider with a cinnamon stick.
I hope you’ll find something that is satisfying to you.
I think you articulated it quite well. At least, I could relate to the sentiments. There is a difference between quitting drinking and being in recovery and that’s what I read from what you wrote. This is healthy progress. Effing hard work but worth every ounce of it.
enjoy it!
of course i will share photos you have to come ones again in Bulgaria and to see the other places near to Sunny Beach 
for example - Nessebar another beautiful place to stay at the seaside 
I’m sorry your mood is so uncomfortable right now. Sometimes it’s like that. I don’t like to feel like that at all. Sometimes it helps to just try and know that it will pass. 
Btw have you read Hari’s book about depression? I really liked it.
And the weight on the bar is just an arbitrary number. Doing the work is what matters. Have fun!
well now it doesn’t have donkeys anymore 
but it’s almost the same as your memories. Im happy to hear that you love Bulgaria 
i hope now to not have a jellyfish 
