Not doing great. Life time of guilt, shame, lying, and relapse. Extremely selfish man i am. One day, ill be free.
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Peanut makes my heart melt 
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Welcome Grace.
Great job on day 2.
One day at a time.
Glad you found us.
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Thank you!!
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Hopefully, my last day 1. Today felt like rock bottom, it’s change or lose everything. I refuse to give up.
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This is my first check in to celebrate a mini milestone, exercise in this case. I can be a bit of a couch potato and promised myself that I would do 1 hour of exercise (mostly hard garden work thus far) each day after work. Happy to say I did it for the first 5 days in a row! 
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Congratulations! Thats some great work there! 
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Hey friends, 885 days alcohol free check in.
I feel a bit run down today. I went to the gym (was angry, lifted angry, still left angry 
) and now I’m trying to implement a bit of relaxing time. But my teenager has people over, my daughter is at a friends and trying to bring more people over, and I just can’t catch a break.
I just want to tell everyone to get out of my house. I need a break, but parenting gives no fcks about breaks. It’s unrelenting and testing and it’s just one of those days.
Thanks for listening to my whinge. I hope you all have a lovely Saturday 
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This made me chuckle 
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Haha. Yeah, today was one of those days where I think if someone tried to interact with me I might have hissed at them like an angry cat
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Day 440 AF
I’ve been out of sorts all week. Back is feeling better but extremely agitated all week. Thankful I’m sober.
Heading to bed. Sleep well y’all.
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1911
I was in bed by 8 last night and asleep by 9. Which meant I was wide awake at 4 this morning, but I did get some decent sleep at least. One weekend to work and holidays it is. I’m ready and up for it. Sober and clean.
It’s been an intense week. Dealing with old trauma is hard and unsettling work. But I know it’s worth it. Forward, onward and upward we go. Together. Clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love.
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@MrsOdh 
That was a short lived, experimental venture during the boring days of quarantine 
He grew out of the harness now. But you’re right about cars. I grew up on a dead end street where we could let our cats outside, but once I moved onto busier streets, I keep my cats safe inside. Also, that weird, near fainting thing used to happen to me all the time when I was young, especially at Dr’s appointments. Not fun. I think it was always anxiety induced for me.
@Alycia I feel you on needing a break. Lately, any time I do get to myself, I just want to lay down in silence. Hope you get some me time soon 
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Ugh 
My job!!! Another shitshow. Exhausted to the core. I need to sleep so I can make it thru tomorrow. And then Sunday 
Gaaaahhhh! Goodnight
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Day 1049 AF
Wud up, gang.
There’s not much going on over here. Stayin busy with work and the kiddos. The little man loves school. He even wants to go on the weekends .
Money has been tight right now. Praying for a paycheck. Ngl I’ve been kinda dumb with my money.
Gotta work the Saturday shift tomorrow and just chill at the apartment.
I hope all is well with everyone. Stay strong. Stay safe. ODAAT
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Yep my new doctor said it sounds like panic attackas. She’s going to look into it more next week.
It has happened a few times before, at other places where I might feel I’m not in total control, becomes worried about not being perfect and getting too tense. Starts feeling bad because I forget to breath and then getting worried that I’m going to faint, and making it all worse.
She said I should try to relax and just be. But sure I know how to do that
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I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
New nurse though it was a panic attack yesterday. She’s going to look into it more next week.
Not sure what to think about that. In fact I’ve never thought about it before, even if it has happened in certain situations through life.
No one ever said anything about anxiety or panic attacks before.
Weather is amazing today. We where supposed to go on a 1800’s-1900’s day in a nearby city, but I’m not sure anyone wants to go.
I did find a corn maze in the local newspaper you could walk in a nearby village. Which is open all through September. Not a scary one, you’re supposed to look for letters and collect a word. I’ve always wanted to do a corn maze, so now I just need to convince the family that it will be a nice idea.
Quick add, they are going to make a haunted maze in the beginning of October. Guess who’s definitely going now?
That’s all Folks 
Wishing y’all a wonderful day.
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I did one in Oklahoma once, at night, it was SO much fun!
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273 days
Finished nightshift late this morning. Home to see the kids and wife then bed for a nap. We’ve then spent the afternoon at a friends celebrating their birthday. Few drinks going on but was never tempted.
Its fathers day tomorrow in NZ. Hopefully get to thw gym then out for lunch with the family
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Autumn is on her way, you can tell by the cool overnight air. We keep our balcony open 24/7 as I run very hot and can’t bear to not have fresh air constantly 
. It’s almost a challenge every year to see what date we get to without shutting it all down. The heating won’t go on until December at least, and all windows will remain ajar year round even if the heating is on (which it rarely is). But despite a mini heatwave being due, the evening air has had a perceptible change and shifted season. Spider season. Halloween 
It’s early Saturday and it’s peaceful listening to crows arguing outside after the parakeets have done their morning flights. All I want today is peacefulness and intentionality.
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Hope you find some peace. Although I feel your pain your post did make me chuckle, I like your way with words.
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