@K_S great work on your sobriety. Keep that focus friend. Glad you are able to spend time with the kids. ODAAT! @SussexGuy congratulations on your sober time…keep up with the solid efforts… about to hit triple digits . @Bomdhil nice to see your numbers rising. Glad that the new routine of writing at night is helping. We got to find the things that work and hold on for dear life. My headache is a bit dull today so much more manageable @EarnIt I am hoping that all works out for your housing situation . Grateful you are staying sober through the stress. Opossums? Omg…hope they are well taken care of by the rescue team @Sissychris39 so good to see you friend. It is a huge deal! Way to go with your timers. We all need a connection with community to help us in our recovery. Glad you are here with us
Damn addict mind at it again. You do deserve it and much more. You are worthy! Glad you had a good time and felt loved @Butterflymoonwoman glad you are feeling better and practiced some self care. Love how gratitude saved us from ourselves. You are doing great my friend… Keep up the solid efforts @DanaM56 I do hope he was telling the truth and I’m sure he himself is overwhelmed. Glad you are taking more time for yourself and so very grateful the ex didn’t pick up. Delete the number…mif it’s a number you’ve memorized them start saying random numbers while trying to think of it and soon you won’t remember it. Big hugs as you start enjoying your time @wahtisnormal 127 days is amazing work Zoe …no need to give into that urge…it will wash over you. Keep up that momentum @SadMemeQueen sending strength and love your way. @Cynthia1 great work on 57 days and great to have you with us. I am so sorry for your loss and can see how triggering some dates can be. Stay connected my friend…in community and with support you will get through this sober
@Tyland great to see you back with us friend. So sorry for your loss. You are right - drinking will not change anything and will only cause harm. Stay the course and keep stacking up the days @mno oh that has to be a very stressful day. So grateful that you found your keys and were able to share these thoughts/ emotions so you did not sit with em. Here’s to healthy coping mechanisms @Tragicfarinelli just sending massive hugs your way!!
Yes! Muscles weigh so much more. The number is deceiving. Keep working the way you are…you are losing inches, getting toner / leaner and gaining health. Just realized my weight machine has an appointment that I can check other factors rather than just the weight. This really helps me not freak out when I see the number rusing. I got mine from Amazon. Maybe something you might want to get as well? What a beautiful picture ,)
Checking in on Monday morning
Waking up early and feeling fresh at the moment. Not much planned…a day of self care ahead.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love
I’m going into London today with my OH as she needs glasses . We will walk back through the Royal Parks (Green, Hyde, and Kensington) then maybe do some mooching about in Kensington High Street before heading home.
I have this problem with the bathroom in that the soil pipe for all the bathrooms in the flats above has a leak and so I have black mould and faeces staining my en suite ceiling and it’s gone in the lights and extractor fan and blown some of the tiling. I’m fighting with the housing people to get it fixed on the building insurance (in my service charge) and it’s been going on for months now. The fix is likely to happen in September which is still some time away, but I’m just trying to remain cool about it as honestly it’s disgusting.
My partner is pushing me about reporting it fully, and the extent of the damage on the bathroom. I’m either going to snap at her and have a full blown ding dong today, or remain in peace. I’m trying for peace, but honestly I’m pretty irritated and it feels like I’m not doing enough about it. Literally, I am on it constantly, I just don’t talk about it. I’m also expected to deal with all my neighbours and to have hard conversations with them about responsibility and liability, which I’ve done already and it was really out my comfort zone. I’m a bit tense still from the weekendi guess, but today just seems like it might be annoying. I’ll enjoy the sunshine and walk no matter what.
I just want to feel enough or for someone to say I’m enough and have done a good job. But then conversely, this keeps you in a toxic reward cycle that may not actually be truthful or healthy. Like at the moment I’m feeling needy. It’s doing my head in.
@Mno I know that street and the mosque! I used to take it to the city centre when I was visiting Utrecht last month. And thanks for reminding me that the “I don’t need nobody”-mindset is death. Enjoy your ride and the meeting. @MrFantastik I often have this expectation of myself when I go into a new setting or situation that I have to be on top of everything and act like a pro from the get go. That has often gotten me into a lot of discomfort and stress. So I really appreciate you mentioning how other people may have been involved in a thing for far longer than me, to relax a bit, accept the nervousnes of being new and maybe just ask for help. Cause I would not expect anyone else to be a pro from the get go. Thanks! @SoberWalker I remember when I started crossfit and lifting weights how my body shape changed significantly. I don’t weight myself, but the mirror and how my clothes did fit or didn’t was pretty clear to me. The same has been happening for a while after I started running and yoga. I too get sometimes these thoughts that my body “is not as it should be”. Especially if you are treated as female from early on we are so extremely conditioned to judge our bodies, the bodies of others and be judged. I get the discomfort. I also am grateful for you sharing this and reminding us that this is how all are conditioned and feel quite often. @Tragicfarinelli Thank you for sharing about the fear of crying. I grew up in a place where crying was met with compassion. But I also have encountered people who react with rejection, cruelty or fear. I personally think that tears always warrant a compassionate response. First to ourselves, then to the person crying. And I believe that every healing starts with self-compassion. Tears may or may not come. @Tyland I am sorry you have so much emotional pain to go through. I hope you will wake up with more hope for the day to come. @Cynthia1 Welome back! I am so sorry to hear about your daughter’s passing. Cannot imagine the pain. I also would like to echo @Dirk’s thoughts: How can you honor your daughter in a good way on the upcoming date? @SadMemeQueen Glad to hear your sh urges have lessened a bit. There is a Binge eating recovery daily check in thread (Part 2). You could join us there to share about your path. @wahtisnormal You are doing great. Keep at it @DanaM56 Sometimes I feel like recovery is a bit like peeling an onion. Layers after layers and they keep stinging
Yesterday was already better and I did not experience any strong compulsion. And I decided to rename my counter from overeating to compulsive eating. I feel like this reflects my recovery goals better: not acting on urges compelling me to eat when I am not hungry.
Today I want to focus on the game, and later send my daughter off to her grandparents. My ex and I are having a first appointment this afternoon at couples counseling. I’m very curious how this will work out. I’d really like to get some support with our communications. Recovery Dharma in the evening to wind down.
For today let’s try to keep our hearts and minds open friends: in peace, kindness and freedom
Checkin in!
I’ve just come back from my morning walk. The day is a bit strange, cloudy… hopefully it will get better later on, I would love some pool time on my day off!
I can feel my anxiety levels currently rising! A friend of mine who now lives on the mainland has texted me that she’s coming over for a few days, and wants to meet. Se here’s me thinking and screaming inside: “noooo, how can I escape the situation!” I am just not into hanging out with people, specially with people that I used to get shit faced with. I don’t know which excuse to make, without hurting anybody’s feelings or looking like an arrogant bitch
For now I’ll take a shower, and start on my weekly batch cooking, while I listen to an audiobook. Maybe I’ll find some inspiration while I do that!
We all need this from time to time and I don’t see that as being needy.
I’m sorry your mind is weighing so heavy on you. I want you to know that you are enough! Im seeing the work you are putting in and you are doing amazing work! You are doing a great job on your self healing and recovery!
Ugh…this is hard. I did not want to hang with anyone during my beginning days of sobriety m. I was selfish and my time was all about me. I realized that my friends did feel shunned at first but eventually understand and respected my decision to take care of me.
Hope you are able to find a way to decline the meet up. Maybe say you are not available with prior engagements . Good luck with whatever you decide.
Day 422. Back to work. Stressful day yesterday. Felt like a beer but I didn’t.
All good. Feeling has passed… Have a fab day folks
Good to be back at work
We went for a family meal on Friday and then everything went a bit weird between my wife and one of her sons. Anyway I felt like a beer, but had a water and kept having water till how I felt passed
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 173.
Husband was out with some friends fishing yesterday and brought home two big fishes yesterday. One huge Pike-Perch and one huge Pike fish.
We smoked the Pike-Perch and is going to put the Pike fish on the bbq.
I don’t eat Pike fish, but the friends he was out fishing with yesterday will come for dinner so they’ll eat it for me
Kids are back in school, oldest daughter is here because she needed help to hand in all papers. And yet she has only done half of what she’s supposed to do this month so there’s a risk that she doesn’t get any money.
It shouldn’t be my responsibility,but for now it is.
I’m already tired and the school year just started, forgot the 12 y/o library card today otherwise everything else was in perfect order for school start. Felt bad all day about that library card.
Had to cancel the hotel and the trip to the Cowboy Western theme park this weekend. There’s going to be a storm here, because of the Ernesto hurricane. Currently trying to figure out something else to do.
A bit sad, but being there in a storm wouldn’t be any fun.
Guess I need to call my Ma and see of she’s alive.
137 days sober
This mornings counseling session weny well. She gave some good advice on how to cope better with how the sessions effect me. I found it helpful. I am starting to feel more comfortable talking to her about things.
I had a good walk afterwards and then had a productive work day. I like days when work makes me be so social. I went around today to do a sort of survey on if the translated words I’ve came up with are understandable or not. This involved many bowls of tea and lots of interesting conversations. And I need to go back to the thinking board for 2 translations. So all in all it was a productive day!
And I’ve felt good today. Some anxiety but nothing too overwhelming.
Hey Jazz, thanks for your input. Funny enough my friend visiting is called the same!
It’s not so much about the drinking, she knows my struggles, and it’s not about that. It’s more about the fact that I don’t want to hang out with people. I’ve become a total loner, and I’m fine with that! We haven’t seen each other for 4 years, and the most normal thing would be to want to see her and catch up! But somehow I stress just by the thought of it. Don’t know, guess I’m not making sense! I’ve cooked 4 different dishes and haven’t come any further!
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,)
. We will walk back through the Royal Parks (Green, Hyde, and Kensington) then maybe do some mooching about in Kensington High Street before heading home.
robot ones
A friend of mine who now lives on the mainland has texted me that she’s coming over for a few days, and wants to meet. Se here’s me thinking and screaming inside: “noooo, how can I escape the situation!” I am just not into hanging out with people, specially with people that I used to get shit faced with. I don’t know which excuse to make, without hurting anybody’s feelings or looking like an arrogant bitch 
. Good luck with whatever you decide.
