On 50 days!
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6:39 am check in 
132 days.
Hi everyone, I have done some reading around thereās alot to catch up with.
My bone tumour surgery is Tuesday so I will be able to engage more next week when all this is behind me and hopefully recovery will be as smooth as can be 
.
So between getting prepared for that alongside doing my work stuff I havenāt had much time.
Today Iām adding a roof to the catio, havenāt had much sleep but Iām going to be kind to myself while I get things in order. - The jobs Iām doing now will help recovering smoother.
Apart from that things are okay, they arenāt bad. I canāt complain which is nice.
The small things we do in life make the big things happen
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1924
Visited Krƶller MĆ¼ller Museum for the first time yesterday. Situated right in the middle of our biggest and oldest National Park, and with an incredible collection of 19th and 20th century art, it was a total blast. I still caught the most beautiful imagery in the NP though. I feel.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love from the Hoge Veluwe.
@Twizzlers Youāre in my thoughts friend. Much love and positive vibes your way. XXX
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@lisa_lou_who congrats on your month+ 
@Mira_D feel better soon š©µ
@rikkofl welcome 
congrats on 5 days
@Dustysprungfield congrats on 50 days
@Mischa84 I used to spend hours on the meme threads in my early days, I started on the first one, caught-up eventually, but now Iām only on Meme Wars 74! 
@Twizzlers I hope all goes well on Tuesday 
š©µ
1494 days no alcohol.
959 days no cocaine.
474 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
Therapy today, no idea what Iāll talk about since I havenāt been able to remember any of my dreams the past week, and thatās usually what we start with.
Other than that; reading, morning routine, meditations, and ideally a walk around the lake.
š©µ
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286 days
Halfway through 24hr shift at work. Busy during the day. Been a bit quiet in the evening so far.
Havenāt been checking in daily for the first time since I started. Think I only checked in a couple times this week. Havenāt been reading as many post on here either.
Checking in may have slipped from my mind but Iām still committed to staying sober.
My timer ticks over in the evening so Iāve always posted in the evenings. Thats usually a pretty busy time with the kids.
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Day 1364,
Breaking up didnāt go exactly as planned, but oh well. I tried to keep it to myself with a bit of a bullshit story, I didnāt want to hurt her but geus thatās impossible when someone doesnāt expect it. So It was via videochat, enough for me when in a long distance relationship. So she thinks of me of an asshole probablyā¦.And save enough for me. She had trauma from childhood, she shared some with me and mentioned I was the first person she ever shared it with. I stayed and she kept on ādumpingā stuff about her sex life. I mostly didnāt react, but noticed a lot of trauma reactions. She is totally sexualised and doesnāt see a problem and doesnāt believe in sex addiction. I was powerless against it, I have secundairy trauma from a previous relationship, so this really needed to stopā¦ā¦maybe I write her or still meet f2f, but think this should be fine. We knew each other about 3 months and met 5-6 times. Any suggestions, support is welcome 
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@Rob11 I have no experience with that specific situation. But I want to send you strength and care. When I am in a difficult situation it often helps to ask myself what my needs are right now and take care of myself. And I believe thatās what you did by ending this relationship. Seeing your own needs, setting boundaries. That is always tough work. A lot of people find it difficult to accept otherās boundaries and react in a hurtful way. So be proud of yourself for taking care and keep at it.
@MrFantastik If you feel checkin in here is benefical for you overall you might want to shift your checkins to another time of the day. Thatās what I did. Had to find the right schedule for me.
@Mno Your pictures are dangerous 
. They always make me long for traveling. Good thing my next vaction is set up in about a month.
@Twizzlers Sending you lots of care, peace of mind and love. Preparing and waiting for a medical procedure is always stressful. Good to hear you are focusing on being kind to yourself. Not always easy. 
@Mischa84 Nice to hear you are enjoying your new career and language lessons. Sounds like you are adventure mode
@Dustysprungfield Congrats on 50 days! 
Sounds like you are really working recovery 
@GOKU2019 I also work from home, and I prefer it like that. But sometimes lonelyness hits. What are your strategies for dealing with the situation?
@Tyland Sending you strength and care. Sounds like you are going through a lot emotionally. Sorry to hear that. Hoping you can get some professional help with that soon
@rikkofl Welcome to this wonderful place here 
And congratulations on five days! These are the hardest ones. 
Sending you good tides for your path 
@PositiveThoughts Sounds like you really need that weekend trip. I hope you get some down time there 
296 sugar
160 UPF
34 gluten
34 dairy
Woke up to a thick fog, went out for a run through the gardens. Everything looked so magical with the fog and the dew.
More work on the dramatical parts of my game, fleshing out the stories and characters. Some yoga in the afternoon and game night with friends tonight.
Todayās intention - as always - trying to find peace and loving life just as it is 
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- Day off the gym today that I granted myself. Still awaiting news about my job application success, or no success. Feels like Iām in a void, but itās ok. Had a great session last night with my new Inner You group, I felt a strong sense of hope and community and shared struggles. Isolation is killer. Itās a beautiful, sunny (very cold for September) Friday in London and I will take a long walk later, maybe join a yoga class later afternoon to cap off a really hardcore gym week with some gentleness and breath and mindfulness. For today, I have hope and light
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Difficult isnāt it. We all struggle with it one way ore another amd certainly when the mist in our brains clear up because we are sober and clean. This is what has helped me:
I share it here often
I think you are doing just great: 1 month in your pocket and thereās more to come!!
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I think a cooldown period for yourself is needed now. It sounds like you did was best for you to do right now. If you still have second thoughts about how you have handled it towards her in about a few weeks you can decide to try to clear it up. But breaking up is never a great happy activaty 
For the both! No matter how you handle it.
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I sent her already a message, that if she wants to know reason Iāll tell her. But it the same as someone who told me I had a drinking problem in the past, itās not gonna work. But if she still wanna know I gonna tell herā¦ā¦
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Day #285
Soo Happy Friday
This week went very fast. Everything is fine, still sober and happy.
Hope to have a great Friday and later great and sober weekend 
Stay sober and strong
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TGIF! (Thank God Im Frank haha). Out for a morning walk and itās a great day. Happy sober Friday make it a good one my friends!!
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Day 195
The Cat got my tongue this week! Itās Trash Day. 
Happy Friday to those who celebrate 
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Checking in day 179
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Day 303. Idk, im just so stressed and tired and angry feeling lately. Maybe a milestone thing? Im not sure, i know work is really bugging me, mostly bc i loved it at first, but lately im not kidding im gettint so taken advantage of that im ready to find something else. But also at the same time there really wont be anything as good, benefits and pay wise. And then on top off it me and heather are good, but i do feel like all the sudden there alot of inbalance lately. She has been expressing that im spending to much time on my wheel, or just pointing out little things that are bugging her lately, telling me to be quiet in public for saying things or trying to be funny and just being myself. Has been on vacation the last seven days and when i come over still wanting me to cook and idk its not things that cant be communicated but are definitely things that are adding little stress for meā¦ i dont feel any want or urge to pick up a drink or drug. But in the past these types of feelings have been going indicators of relapses so i will watch them closely. Going home this weekend with just my girls and on vacation for a few days myself, thank goodness. Much love. Sunday will be ten months looking forward to that
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Hey all, checking in on day 1552. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hey Mike, for what itās worthā¦it sounds like the honeymoon phase is over for both your job and your relationship and that is pretty normal. Before making any quick decisions, can I suggest taking a breath, enjoy your weekend with your girls, and think about how you can find balance in your situations. Work sometimes is just, well, work and not fun. Sometimes we have to put our heads down, do what is needed, and the negative reactions you are getting will sort of even out. You could be the target of some negative attention but at some point itās possible that will pass. I think youāre doing a good job observing what is happening but sometimes youāre reacting right away and that can get you in trouble. Finding ways you can say, okay, I hear you, and then write up the things you are noticing and go to your direct supervisor with some well thought out list of those things that are bothering you at work or how youāve been treated will get you further than reacting in the moment. Same with your girlfriend. Take time to think about what youāre noticing (looks like you have) and write down a well thought out list that you can the communicate to her. Itās always a good idea to include areas where you think you can improve or how you played a part in some conflict so you look like you want to find a middle ground that suits all parties, as well as take ownership for yourself.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice, I usually hate when people do this to me but Iāve been in your shoes in jobs where Iāve felt shit on and had to learn how to negotiate some level of compromise so everyone is at least civil and able to just do the work. People can be nasty and scapegoat you, doesnāt mean you canāt find a way through it. Of course if youāre outright getting abused thatās a different story. Just trying to help a friend out. I have seen you come a long way man and Iād hate for you to lose a good job like that over petty crap.
Hope you have a great weekend coming up whenever that is with your sweet girls. Hang in there buddy.
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Day 2367.
Not everything is fixable
All the cheap parts test fineā¦to replace the motherboard isnt cost effectiveā¦guess I am going shopping for a dryer.
On a side notā¦crazy how simple a clothes dryer is
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Howdy folks. Today is a new day, I can feel it! Been rough times for this olā gal. Mentally, physically, spiritually, you name it. It happens. But yesterday I felt the clouds parting a bit and felt some genuine smiles and peaceful feelings. Just in time, too, because I have my work cut out for me with some serious yard work (cutting out sod/turf grass is a b*tch), housework and home improvement projects, and then I may be driving down to Kentucky to help my brother move into his new house next weekend. A super quick turnaround, drive down Friday evening (ugh, that 9 hours is brutal), move Saturday (help as much as we can), drive home Sunday. I got dog sitter secured at least. He closes on both his current home and his new one next Friday morning and we donāt know whether he will find out before then when he takes possession of the new place so our plans may be for naught. He and his wife have helped us move a couple times, itās been a huge help as the stress triggers migraines and I sometimes canāt work when itās crunch time. Anyway, I really hope this works out. But for today, Iāll take advantage of this good mood and get busy. Hope you all are hanging in there as best you can.
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