Checking in day 179
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Day 303. Idk, im just so stressed and tired and angry feeling lately. Maybe a milestone thing? Im not sure, i know work is really bugging me, mostly bc i loved it at first, but lately im not kidding im gettint so taken advantage of that im ready to find something else. But also at the same time there really wont be anything as good, benefits and pay wise. And then on top off it me and heather are good, but i do feel like all the sudden there alot of inbalance lately. She has been expressing that im spending to much time on my wheel, or just pointing out little things that are bugging her lately, telling me to be quiet in public for saying things or trying to be funny and just being myself. Has been on vacation the last seven days and when i come over still wanting me to cook and idk its not things that cant be communicated but are definitely things that are adding little stress for meā¦ i dont feel any want or urge to pick up a drink or drug. But in the past these types of feelings have been going indicators of relapses so i will watch them closely. Going home this weekend with just my girls and on vacation for a few days myself, thank goodness. Much love. Sunday will be ten months looking forward to that
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Hey all, checking in on day 1552. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hey all i woke up this morning at like 430am tryed laying back down my head just runs try not to think why i drive hr to work but i work for a company in her town constant reminder sometimes it feels so unbearable and then I got to drive back home and thereās nothing but memories hoping that Iāll find a new company soon but you still have to pay the bills bills that I can walk away from but but I choose not to just to do the next right thing have a good day yāall
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Hey Mike, for what itās worthā¦it sounds like the honeymoon phase is over for both your job and your relationship and that is pretty normal. Before making any quick decisions, can I suggest taking a breath, enjoy your weekend with your girls, and think about how you can find balance in your situations. Work sometimes is just, well, work and not fun. Sometimes we have to put our heads down, do what is needed, and the negative reactions you are getting will sort of even out. You could be the target of some negative attention but at some point itās possible that will pass. I think youāre doing a good job observing what is happening but sometimes youāre reacting right away and that can get you in trouble. Finding ways you can say, okay, I hear you, and then write up the things you are noticing and go to your direct supervisor with some well thought out list of those things that are bothering you at work or how youāve been treated will get you further than reacting in the moment. Same with your girlfriend. Take time to think about what youāre noticing (looks like you have) and write down a well thought out list that you can the communicate to her. Itās always a good idea to include areas where you think you can improve or how you played a part in some conflict so you look like you want to find a middle ground that suits all parties, as well as take ownership for yourself.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice, I usually hate when people do this to me but Iāve been in your shoes in jobs where Iāve felt shit on and had to learn how to negotiate some level of compromise so everyone is at least civil and able to just do the work. People can be nasty and scapegoat you, doesnāt mean you canāt find a way through it. Of course if youāre outright getting abused thatās a different story. Just trying to help a friend out. I have seen you come a long way man and Iād hate for you to lose a good job like that over petty crap.
Hope you have a great weekend coming up whenever that is with your sweet girls. Hang in there buddy.
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Day 2367.
Not everything is fixable
All the cheap parts test fineā¦to replace the motherboard isnt cost effectiveā¦guess I am going shopping for a dryer.
On a side notā¦crazy how simple a clothes dryer is
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Howdy folks. Today is a new day, I can feel it! Been rough times for this olā gal. Mentally, physically, spiritually, you name it. It happens. But yesterday I felt the clouds parting a bit and felt some genuine smiles and peaceful feelings. Just in time, too, because I have my work cut out for me with some serious yard work (cutting out sod/turf grass is a b*tch), housework and home improvement projects, and then I may be driving down to Kentucky to help my brother move into his new house next weekend. A super quick turnaround, drive down Friday evening (ugh, that 9 hours is brutal), move Saturday (help as much as we can), drive home Sunday. I got dog sitter secured at least. He closes on both his current home and his new one next Friday morning and we donāt know whether he will find out before then when he takes possession of the new place so our plans may be for naught. He and his wife have helped us move a couple times, itās been a huge help as the stress triggers migraines and I sometimes canāt work when itās crunch time. Anyway, I really hope this works out. But for today, Iāll take advantage of this good mood and get busy. Hope you all are hanging in there as best you can.
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Thank you. And absolutely i agree with it all, definitely just hard in the moment sometimes. As well as trying to see my part and make sure im not just blaming others. But definitely i will get through it and make sure to not do anything silly.
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Aināt that the truth! Remember to breathe! 
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162 days sober
Been a good day here. The roads were too bad for driving so my guests stayed another day which was nice. We relaxed, took them on a hike and talked. I really enjoyed having them here thankful for everything they volunteered to do but they were just nice people who I enjoyed having around. Am hoping they can come back sometime even just for a visit.
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227
I am not OK.
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Day 447. All good. Finished work. Itās been a decent week. Off for four days now 
have a fab weekend. Watching TV and chilling
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Hugs and uplifting vibes your way. 
You are worthy and wonderful and donāt you forget it. Strong, too! Vulnerability is strength, glad you came here. If we can help let us know.
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Checking in day 256 AF 
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Iām gonna quote Menno - good days and bad ones Juli 
You are enough. Big hugs your way
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for maintaining a catio, I love it!
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percent agree with that, itās such hard work!
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Checked my timer and Iām a day behind! Itās getting tougher to keep track.
Itās Day 196 
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Checkin part 2. Got my new job. Looks like I will be trained in the smokehouse and as a butcher. More money than I was making at my last job. Drive we be far better. Just went from driving 31 miles 1 way to 5 miles. And even better, once I become a butcher I can work at their other location which is a mile from me.
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Wowie wow!!! Thatās awesome! Congrats bud! Sounds like a really interesting career, too. Something Iād be interested in actually. Very cool.
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