Checking in with 85 days sober!! 
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Day 28
No binge eating
Day 24
No shopping
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Hello everyone. Tomorrow is move in day! Holy smokes time has gone way too fast! Cars all packed up and ready for a long day ahead of me! Gonna miss the women at the house but ready to be on my own!!
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So sorry to hear this! Glad you’re ok, and hope the restoration isn’t too painful or expensive 
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Im not sure I have any advice, but I think that just the fact that you opened up it makes sense you are havinf this reaction also? Being vulnerable is hard and takes a lot out of us, and this is also doubly hard when being vulnerable with someone who has hurt us in the past.
I think that in middle school kids can be very mean, and they can grow in a few ways. One is that they dont even realize what they did was that harmful (which when you are harmed is hurtful in itself, but depending on what it is kids dojt always understand), two is that they think about it and are sorry or three is that they plain old think you should get over it.
She may be genuinely kind and this may be a conversation you can have with her, if you wish. It may have been something like they got caught for doing so (self-harming) and needed a scape goat. That doesnt make it okay, but more forgiveable then perhaps other alternatives. It may be that she denies it or isnt open to a conversation in which, you have your answer.
I personally think youre a big person for letting forgiveness in, and also a big person for opening yourself up. You can be vulnerable and have boundaries, and if this issnt something she will acknowledge or be genuine about, then you know whwre to put the fence. It is never easy having a past hurt come flying at us in the form of someone who hurt us, but I think you are handling the situation with a lot of grace. Best of luck with it. Xo.
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thank you for responding. I had a long discussion with my mom about what she remembers and she knows it all started when one of them was caught self harming , so the scapegoat idea would make a lot of sense. I suppose I’m just worried that only of them was involved and the other had no idea, and i don’t want to go just hurling accusations at her. I did tell her we’d talk soon I just needed time to process. I plan to reach out to her after I’ve had a therapy session. thank you for sharing your perspective the situation is so insane it’s very grounding to see someone else to respond to it
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Just checking in.
Feeling SO mych better. Had a beautiful day with the kids at an outdoor tree house park and then the beach. It felt so good to fwel good again. I think of this often about how our health is just so valuable and fragile.
About to have supper with hubby and then off to another week at the races. Birthdah is this week, job interview and my moms coming on Saturday I cant wait!!
My daughter also graduated to All Stars in skating and has been asked to come 2 or 3 days a week. Im just so happy and proud of her and she just loves it. Thank you for these beauriful days bx some days suck, and it just makes you appreciate stuff so much. Feeling grateful and maybe we’ll even get to finish watchinf Chernobyl? I mean a girl can dream 
xo.
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Checking in, now on the start of day 16.
Stayed sober on work trip day 2.
Thank you so much @JazzyS @CATMANCAM @Butterflymoonwoman @Cjp @acromouse @Mno for taking the time to reply me, feels amazing to me that I can post on here, and so many people take the time out of their day to reply so thoughtfully. What a super community. I am now feeling energised this morning.
Adam
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a hell of a week coming up - excited for you. Birthday? Which day is it if you don’t mind me asking.
Looking forward to celebrating your special day with you 
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Hey folks,
I want to be honest with you, I relapsed a couple of days ago, which is what threw me into the depression I’ve been in these past several days. It’s so confusing because I know I know and want better, and get so far only to intermittently sabotage myself seemingly out of the blue. I have some childhood trauma I have yet to fully resolve, and the soul-searching it demands can be both a curse and blessing. But I’m so tired of numbness, and really value and miss the irreplaceable pride, confidence, initiative, motivation, inner peace, gratitude, courage, adventure, purpose, mindfulness and realizing potential only being sober and committed to personal growth have offered. I’ve decided I’m going to meditate for a full hour today for a start… 
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Love it!!! Congratulations!
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2 ribeyes, 2lbs pepper bacon, 2 pounds sausage and 1 whole chicken please. .
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And what does your husband want for dinner? 
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Apple pie.
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Don’t blame him, yours looks yum! 
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Wanted to save a piece for daughter and he says you will have to make another one. There must be a complement in there somewhere.
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Day 1065 AF
What up, sober fam.
Went to a sweet 16 last night with the wifey. Caught up with some old friends. We didn’t have breakfast that morning, and the wife and I were hungry when we got there. People were boozing left and right. The hunger got me a little thirsty for a second, but I felt fine after a plate. They had sparkling water and soda. Got myself a Kirkland lime. The wifey had only one margarita. She’s never been much of a drinker. She only drinks on special events. It was a fun night overall. We got to dance for a bit. There were a lot crazy drivers on our way home that night. I’m glad I was fully conscious behind the wheel. I always imagine how shit would’ve played out if I was drunk. Probably ended up an argument, embrassed myself, or started a fight with someone. Thank god those days are over. We got home and passed out right after. We can’t hang like we used to, lol. I had a strange dream that my wife was drunk and woke up me up and started kissing me. It was weird because I could taste all the alcohol in her mouth, and um, I actually liked it 
. I’m not sure what that was about. Maybe everyone’s alcohol breathes at the party 
.
Anyway, I’ve seen a lot of great milestones here. Proud of everyone. Keep pushing. Stay strong. 
Much love to everyone. Love you all. Goodnight!
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@Mno Yes, the thought’s crossed my mind more and more recently. But I absolutely loved this job for 8 years before the current situation. My longest standing coworkers, the 3 floor managers and the bar manager, agree. We’re not happy and want change before she runs it into the ground. The bar manager and event coordinator are ready to say ‘It’s her or me’. If that happens, I’m out too bc the place will nosedive to it’s death. We’re planning a sitdown with the GM. I’ll take it from there I guess 
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Usual Sunday. Not too busy, but it was hot during the golf rush 
And the pollen and air quality beat me up. I kept thinking about swimming. Wish I did more of that before all the pools closed 
Getting to bed to start an early day. Happy Monday!
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Anything you want!
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