Checking in daily to maintain focus #69

@Zse enjoy the mountain :mountain: :blush:
@Noshame congrats on your week of no marijuana :tada:
@Frank68 good luck with the open house :house: :crossed_fingers:t2::four_leaf_clover:
@Misokatsu I’m glad things are going better than expected, anxiety is awful :tired_face: congrats on 1500+ days :tada:
@Sobermama40 welcome back :people_hugging: congrats on day 6 :tada: and well done for trying something new :clap:t2:

1501 days no alcohol.
966 days no cocaine.
481 days no vape.
6 days no binge-eating.

I’m so fatigued this week. I’m finding it much harder to wake up properly. I’m having to go back to sleep at my usual wake-up time of 5:30am, then I’m sleeping again until 7am-8am. The only explanation I have for this is the changing of seasons and the extra depression that comes with that. Although in today’s therapy session, it came to light that it may all be due to seeing certain family members tomorrow, for the first time since the 5th of July.

Yesterday I took everything off my shelving unit in the porch type room where the bugs were. I checked through everything and swept any I found onto the floor. There were loads inside one box so I bagged the contents up and took it outside to the main bins, along with the box they were in and some other boxes I emptied. Then I swept down the shelving unit and moved it and I’ve left it in there in front of the door, and I sprayed the whole carpet with both sprays again.

Ugggh! After typing that I went to the kitchen, and on my way through, I noticed 4 bugs on some things I’d moved into the hallway, even though I’d thoroughly checked everything. So I dealt with those and also checked everything over again…there were 4 boxes of sealed, unopened swan and duck pellets… well, I noticed some more bugs on those, so I peeled the lips of the corners of the boxes up, and they were under there somehow! I hate waste, but I wouldn’t want to risk harming the water birds if any of the bugs had gotten into the food somehow, so I quickly took those out to the bins. It really felt like my skin was crawling! I really hope that’s it because I feel like I can’t take much more. :weary:

Even though I’d rather not have bugs inside my hoover incase any were still alive :nauseated_face: I left it to dry out overnight, then I hoovered in there this morning. After that I seriously hope no more appear! :crossed_fingers:t2::grimacing::nauseated_face:

I had Friday therapy today. It was hard as usual, and I felt nauseous after talking about some past experiences. During the final 15mins of mutual silence, I felt like I was going to cry, I didn’t though.

It’s been a while since I missed a day of checking-in, I’ve been working on it since yesterday AM, but the bug issue totally took over.

Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends. :blush:

🩵

17 Likes

169 days sober
I’m not feeling well today. Think I’m getting a flu or something. I got some good work done this morning then crashed in the afternoon. I’ve been trying to rest since then. I’m so glad it’s the weekend now and I can rest without feeling guilty about it.
Surprisingly my mood is quite good and my anxiety low despite not feeling very well.
Lots of dog cuddles and laying around. Off to bed now!

12 Likes

Ding dong! I could be a cake person.
IMG_1669

6 Likes

6 months is awesome! Moving isn’t. Sending positive energy as I have some to give since I don’t have to help you move.

4 Likes

Congrats on day 6!

4 Likes

Right on! :grinning::white_check_mark:

3 Likes

It is indeed! Going towards the end of the season now. But very pretty indeed.

7 Likes

Great job Sarath :+1: And really nice to hear you got some work coming your way :smiling_face:

4 Likes

Always appreciate you taking thr time to say such grounding and validatinf things, and to share your experiences. So so so appreciate it. I know this is SUPPOSED to be challenginf and scary, its supposed to be a bit hard and maybe take a while and I cant just snap my fingers and boom! Anywho just appreciate what you are saying :slight_smile:

Hope the new googles work out & sound idea to take the old ones for driving :laughing:

4 Likes

163 days sober … just come back off a great holiday a dry holiday even went to the Haven club watched a terrible magic show and singer and didnt drink which is massively amazing for me because i associated haven holidays with getting hammered. Very pleased with myself

13 Likes

Congratulations on your 1500+ day AF! :confetti_ball::tada::confetti_ball::tada:. That’s awesome Cam!

Yikes …that’s a lot of cleaning… really hope you don’t see any more bugs :crossed_fingers:t4::pray:t4:.

Sorry therapy left you feeling so nauseous. Sending love and hugs. Hope your day got easier :people_hugging::heart:
1500_dribble

2 Likes

Thanks @acromouse, Yes also im planning to learn new skills (Frontend ). i want to apply new job in 3 months. But can’t concentrate much… before when I was young without addiction I was so passionate. i hope that will come back

2 Likes

Checking in day 263 AF :blush:

12 Likes

I would say you were the magical one. Great job!

3 Likes

Day 454. A good day. Relaxed. Went for a coastal walk. Chilling this evening. All good. Felt good to go for a nice walk. Getting alot quieter along the coast now.

10 Likes

Checking in. Im feeling frustrated today. Im upset with someone, but i just can’t bring myself to talk about it. I partly feel like i don’t have a right to be upset about things due to the huge amounts of chaos i created on a daily basis in the past. Also, the things I’m upset about have been discussed in the past, promises were made and nothing changed. I guess i don’t want to cause more problems when outwardly things are going well and anything i say will be ignored or brushed off. Seems like a waste of time and energy

10 Likes

This topic was automatically closed after reaching the maximum limit of 2500 replies. Continue discussion at Checking in daily to maintain focus #69 (Part 41).