- Looks like my sister might -yet again- not visit, cancelling same day. I’m a bit annoyed I lost a whole night’s sleep, but that’s not my sister’s fault. What I though was anxiety was indeed anxiety, but also excitement to see my baby sister. These things happen, I’ll move on. Planning on a good night’s sleep tonight and then up for gym. Not sure what else yet as we had planned around my sis being here. I’m feeling more in touch with my emotions and needs lately and being able to name them. Doesn’t make them less painful or full, but understanding them is getting better.
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I miss my lane swimming so much, ever since I hurt my shoulder I can’t swim lanes anymore. Hopefully it will get better again in the future…
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Hey everyone! Quick update for u all, I was accepted for my top choice of an apartment!! I move in next month!!
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@JazzyS another day under my belt. In Real Life sometimes is difficult to find a person who understand my struggle. I mean daily. Once a week or monthly I can speak openly with someone
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!!!Day 1337,
The addiction is talking to me……it is getting stronger. Intrusive and dark thoughts. Never had it this long before a milestone, 4 years is only in December. I have so much to give, I just don’t know how. I’m getting tired again of being the nice guy. People seem to like that version of me, but I hate it, social acceptance is not equal to recovery. F*ck my brother and my family. Need to cut them loose, to save myself, including my mother if she keeps trying to pull me in again like if nothing ever happened. Can’t sleep for a bit, thoughts about selling my house grap my back pack and go. I’m to damaged….ptsd is flaring up….massive amounts of energy flowing through my body….my brain longing for extreme adrenaline/dopamine shots…I need to the get a grip…if I go I go fast….I can be very observant, I can use it to love but it gives me also the power to manipulate and destroy people in a few sentences the latter is getting the upper hand…
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Hello friends 
Checking in sober on a Friday night. Feels good.
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Great news! Congratulations!
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Hello everyone, it’s been a while. I went back to treatment and came home in June. Glad to be back with TS family. Checking in Day80.
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@Laner Interesting concept… 
& love your work 
Thanks for posting 
@JazzyS Sorry to hear that you have to deal with chronic pains, I must have missed that in my absence, that must not be easy 
I’m not the greatest fan of meds anyway if I’m honest and believe much more happens in the mind, i.e. the placebo effect… Hmm, have you tried massages, chiropractic treatment or acupuncture yet? Also yoga/stretching and ASMR or visualisation/calming sleep videos/audios? Just some thoughts, maybe I’m way off 
Glad you got some power naps anyways 
Stay strong ey, hope the drained/exhausted feeling passes soon, I’ve been working on mine too 
@Rob11 Stay strong buddy! 
Glad you posted your situation… Remember who you are and what you’re here for - not just this amazing community or your great achievements (1337 days! What a journey and proof of the potential within you!), but in this life/existence in general friend. Maybe give exercise, a cold shower, meditation, articles or youtube videos covering your specific mood/situation, self-analysing, mindfulness exercises or something nice/different/productive a try to clear your mind… You’ve got this, we’re here for you too if you need anyone to talk to… You know better than to kick yourself up the arse, it’ll hurt! Seriously though, self harm won’t ever take pain away…! Here’s a nice quote: life is like sailing, you can’t control the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails to always reach your destination… What might your ideal self do or tell you now? What did you start sobriety for? You do have so much to give! 
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@Just_Laura happy 18 months
Ok @Laner let me try
Mental health - mind health? Brain health? Emotional health
Hangover - i cant think of just one other word to describe a hangover but more symptoms experienced when hingover: dehydrated, dizzy, nauseous, sick, exhausted, foggt thoughts
Cravings - unrelenting desire, a compulsion, an itch that needs scratched
Anxiety - racing thoughts, cyclical worry
Withdrawl - hmm ?
Sober - free from alcohol
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1897
Working weekend coming up. That’s OK. I’m OK. In fact I’m a bit better than OK. Therapy was good, we did get to talk about some important stuff. Even talked about maybe ending contact at the end of the year which I would hate but on the other hand maybe it’s time to move on from this particular therapist however much I like her and however much my separation anxiety flared up. Still glad at least we made a start with talking about it.
Also I got the back wheel to my road racing bike back yesterday, just in time to go for a spin when the weather cleared up in the afternoon. Riding is really important for me and my mental health I learned from missing a good bike for a couple of days.
Anyway. I’m going to have as good a day as I can and expect the same from you. Sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love to you all.
@K_S It’s good to see you Kenny! Congrats on day 80.
@Rob11 Reading your post it seems to me it’s high time for action friend. No destruction but construction. Your life seems to need some positive actions in regard to your relationships. Can’t do it alone though. You need others like we all do. Professionals, peers, just friends, or a combination. Don’t go it alone and work on building. Take really good care of yourself. Don’t believe the hype.
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Hey sober fam, checking in for today 
I’ll start with a cold shower, breakfast, meditation, jog, work out and healthy lunch. Feeling good overall, on track… 
I promise myself to give my best to be my best today. Have as good a day or night as you can friend. 
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Mental health: health of the mind, healthy thinking/thoughts
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@K_S Glad to have you back 
I was literally just thinking about you yesterday! Weird. Congrats on 80 days 
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Woke up early again after 7 hours of sleep and felt well rested. Didn’t do a whole lot before work as it was Friday and I knew we were gonna be short staffed bc we have a few college kids who went back already. One I’m especially proud of who got a full hockey scholarship to Yale! He really deserves it. I work with so many great kids and love watching them grow up and succeed in life 
Work would’ve been fine if we rotated tables like we always used to, but NO! My boss had to assign them, which means you have to pray yours don’t all walk in at once. Well, mine did 
I already had a big one and got 3 more at the same time, while the other 2 servers only had 1 table each. I’m over here running my ass off, trying not to forget anything (which I ended up doing bc I had so much going on), while the other 2 were bored. They did help with what they could if I asked, but that’s not how it should be. We could’ve each had 2 tables, waiting for our staggered 3rd, 4th, etc., and service would’ve been better. It’s like she’s setting us up for failure. Anytime she’s involved, things go wrong. And she wonders why members are complaining about poor service! Ugh, well maybe bc you tried to fix something that wasn’t broke 
It’s done now, quit bitching! (I say to myself)
Anyway. Gotta go back in the morning so I need to get to bed. Goodnight, my sober warriors
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Day 420. Up early. Noisy night at the hotel. Lots of folks having a good time and bad night too outside. Quieter this morning
Today I will check in later on after I’ve done something have a fab day folks
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