Happy birthday! 
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Checking in on day 5!!
Made it through the withdrawals and out the other end, thank goodness!! I no longer feel hopeless - in fact, I feel pretty great.
Still struggling with insomnia, but all of my other symptoms have gone. Now to maintain my sobriety! I have lots of new ideas and have spoken to my support worker about ways forward, but Iāll update properly tomorrow as Iām utterly exhausted.
Thank you all again for your support during this difficult time. I donāt think Iād have pushed through the withdrawals otherwise 
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Day 916
Morning friends. Havent posted in a couple days (or even been on TS to read for that matter), just been super busy. Im at work today and so that gives me time to catch up!
Things are good. Recovery is good. Health still isnt the greatest but Im working on it.
I have been busy catching up on all the items on my To Do listā¦ things that i have been procrastinating on. Feels really good to feel on top of things again. My energy levels are improving also which Im grateful for. I havent had any urges to use the past couple days and have made sure to incorporate prayer into my daily routine. So things are okay overall in my world 
I was asked to speak at a fundraiser in September, to talk about my son and how this particular organization has helped us throughout his diagnosis. I agreed to do it. But now im second guessing myself bcuz im not a huge fan of public speaking. I did write up a little something to memorize but my memory is shot and so idk if Ill be able to remember what i wrote. I did agree to it bcuz i wanted to give back but my nerves are getting the best of me lol. I think i should face my fears and go for it. Its not always about me
I just have to get thru work and then will go home, do up some laundry, cook supper, and relax with the family. Have a great saturday everyone! 
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Happy birthday to you! Have a wonderful day celebrating you 
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I donāt have any words to suggest but Iām fascinated (too), by your work and what you tell about it and the society youāre part of. Makes me think about how addiction (alcoholism) is the opposite of communal thinking, how itās isolating, and makes us become total egotists. As opposed to the communal society you describe. The opposite of addiction is connection as Iāve learned as the total truth. Maybe thereās some words to find in that direction, how alcoholism, and alcoholics in active addiction, are actually the opposite of communal and community. And how Recovery is aimed at reconnecting us addicts to society, to community, to sort of resocialize us (although that particular term has a bitter taste in (former) communist countries).
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Therapy is hard. I cry most of the time Iām at therapy, or at least I have tears in my eyes. It has helped me enormously though. Iām glad youāre doing it.
Heās a real piece of work. Not man enough like you say. Glad the fair was nice and glad you kept your cool. Heās not worth your aggravation Sophia. Although I very well understand. Hugs.
Huge congrats you! Also on celebrating sober. Thatās the real party and youāre not missing anything. X
Glad you survived friend. Hope youāll feel better very soon. 
Good for you Indi. But please donāt forget how you felt just a day or two ago. Never again friend.
Iām sure youāll do great Dana. Youāve come so far friend. Have an awesome Saturday 
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Checking in with 132 days sober. Taking care of my 5 years old whoās not feeling well today. Iāll get lots of snuggles and forced relaxing. It will be good for me and my kids, Iām a busy body and itās good for me to be still.
I stay sober today.
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Hey 
Iām so sorry your sister didnāt come. Sending you lots of support and hoping you were able to enjoy the day 
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Thank you.
I know heās not worth it, Iām just so disappointed. Iām probably more disappointed than angry to be honest. No problem if he doesnāt like me, but our 14 y/o hasnāt done something wrong.
He even cried in court about how he really missed him. I won the court case, but the state still granted him custody, which he still has.
And yet,this is how he treats his kid.
My expectations wasnāt high, just didnāt though he would be lower than that.
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2 yrs 5months 15 days no self harm
well struggling perhaps more than every with my eating disorder and self harm urges but still here still clean
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Interesting exchange, @Laner @Mno and @acromouse .
In suburban Texas, there is little to no connection. Everyone in their own bubble with an attached garage. Delivery trucks everywhere, gardeners, hired pet walkers. You never have to leave the house unless your job demands it. Neighbors will wave but rarely speak. I think it leads to anxiety, depression and definitely exacerbates addictions. An othering of anyone outside the bubble. Extremely aggressive driving, because you donāt know āthemā, and theyāre probably not good because they are an other and you donāt know them.
This social environment continues to deteriorate. Iāve made a point to seek out others since I got sober. I do think about connecting a lot more now. Found out Iām not anti social at all, quite the opposite. Itās interesting- around here the easiest people to connect with are people significantly older than me. Theyāre retired. They were taught to serve/be good community members. So be it! Iām sure Iāll find some my age and younger too.
Yes, I love how you describe cultural differences, Laner. And Menno, thanks! I am looking for a more community-focused and less individual culture. Itās so lonely here and meaningless to me. But till I move I can seek out those pockets of people who feel as I do.
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Thanks Marie. Not doing all that great mentally today, for many different strands and reasons that are too vast and convoluted to go into.
Today is genuinely the only day in my 233 days that I have wanted to drink myself to oblivion. Iām doing my best to hold on to sanity as I really feel quite raw and I donāt trust myself fully in this state.
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Absolutely. Iām being a lot more proactive in my sobriety this time and have a lot in place.
As you said, never again. Not because I canāt (Although, I canāt!) but because I never want to see or be that person ever again x
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I am glad you are here and are telling us. It will take the power out of wanting to drink. We care about you and will walk with you. Drinking would make everything worse. Stick close, weāve got you!
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Checking in! 
Last night I slept like crap again! Weāre still in āfiestasā and last night we had fireworks at 01:00 am! (Wtf??) and music at the āplazaā until 6:00 am! This is very typical for the Spanish villages in summer, but manā¦ not everybody is off and on holidays in August! I had to get up at 6:30 amā¦ 
I worked and then decided to do my weekly cleaning straight afterwards in the afternoon, which means I have 2 days off now, and my most time consuming tasks are done already! 
I guess Iāll ask my mom to do something tomorrow or the day after, e.g. go to the beach! 
Even though they are currently overcrowded!
Tonight we have a salsa fiesta in town, but Iām
too lazy to check it outā¦ but Iāll have to listen to salsa until 2:00 am! Today is the last day of the fiestas!! 
After that Iāll be able to get some rest again!
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Youāre here friend. You know oblivion is not the way to go. Youāre not alone. Big hugs and much love 
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Iām sorry to read this, I hope you start to feel more positive soon! Sending you a hug!
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Sometimes life is shitty like that. But you are not alone on that shitty day. We are here for you. Stay connected, tell us what you need. A hug? Comfort? Ranting? Tears? Distraction? Silly memes? We got you covered.
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I know it Menno, but I feel like a loaded spring with no outlet. Iām angry and sad and furious and hurt and tired of caring. I feel defeated and unable to strike a step forward from crumpled.
I probably should go to one of those axe throwing places, though it might be unsafe for those around me.
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