Another day of me feeling like a domestic goddess because I did stuff that other people usually do all the time (wipe doors and cupboard fronts). I am avoiding some places that will be time-consuming (clothes and work paperwork), but am so glad to be being productive.
I ate a little more sweet stuff than I would have liked today, but it wasnāt a proper binge so I just ate dinner as normal.
And of course, no thoughts of booze. I am totally a non drinker. I forget how much thoughts used to consume me. How I looked forward to my āfreeā evenings when I could drink. Free evenings now are for tea (and sometimes biscuits) and Netflix/books.
@Bomdhil Recovery Dharma has a ton of online meetings and they do not target any particular addiction but are about recovery in general. They are based on buddhist principles but are non-theistic. I cannot recomemend them enough. There is always a meditation, a short reading and time for shares. Even if you only listen in you wonāt be alone but among people going through similar struggles. @Tragicfarinelli By the way the octopus has two sides: a smiling one and an angry one. So itās a choice for all kinds of emergencies I hope today is better. @Just_Laura Yes I believe higher education is rather expensive in the US? so getting a scholarship sounds like a great win for that kid. @Mno In some cultures there are professional wailers that attend funerals. Might be a carreer option. @MrsOdh I believe that this toxic perfectionism mindset is often imparted on girls/women. There are so many expectations put on a girl growing up. How to dress, how to look, how to behave, how to perform. Always being scrutinized, always feeling like under watch. As for changing mindests mindfullness mediation works for me well. @JazzyS Whatās going on with your sleep friend? Iām a bit worried @Dan.h84 Congratulations on 30 days! This is a huge milestone. Celebrate, do something nice for yourself @JuliaLuna Well done dealing with a shitty person without using! That is inspiration! @SadMemeQueen How are doing today? @Misokatsu Hail the domestic goddess Thatās how I feel every time I do the laundry. Soā¦
While the new dosage of my meds has to start working properly I am beset by all kinds of feeling crappy, digestive issues and especially cravings to eat out of compulsion. This will pass in a few days when my gut biome will reach a stable state. But until then it is what it is.
Today Iām going to do my weekly review and tons of self care. An online meeting if I manage.
For today Iām going to try to keep my heart and mind open friends: in peace, kindness and freedom
Itās crazy, isnāt it?
And like that wasnāt enough, I usually had god and an entire church to watch every little step.
Because our group, the kids of the preacherās family,was the chosen ones, and supposed to be a perfect example.
Didnāt make it better, and it doesnāt go away easily.
Donāt give a s**t about God and his opinions these days, but I still like to be perfect anyway.
Trying to wake up and get rolling. I am slow to wake up. I need to stop and get the tortillas my brother wants, get some cash and goooo. I need coffee. Glad I set the alarm for 5 so I can take hours. I always do.
Moved sonās stuff home for a few weeks yesterday and got our property all cleaned up.
Remnant of hurricane Ernesto is passing by us supposedly the next couple days, so weāll lock a few things down today.
Today I have two properties to take care ofā¦ have I mentioned that Iām tired of it a bit? lol. Well I certainly am. I need fall, and reduction of additional work. I need the gym, I need less things on my mind.
Otherwise, all is good and sobriety and me are dear friends. Expectations of calmness and feeling good. No highs, no lows, just enjoy life.
@catmancam Way to go with your 3 weeks of no binge eating. Happy to hear that you came here when you needed support with your cravings. Keep it going friend. Hope you do get that walk in today @deelzebub Hope the back to back yoga helped. I just did a great yoga session and it feels freeing. Hoping you have a wonderful Sunday.
Love this Flo ā go on Girl What an awesome feeling @acromouse Thanks friend ā no need to worry. I do go through spurts of sleep issues when my pain is high ā I am glad that I do have time to nap throughout the day so that I am not a total zombie. It will all even out eventually. Thanks for caring Iāve already had two good deep naps since my last post
Heās a physician and has spent so many nights on call heās bascially instantly awake and instantly asleep. I envy that. On the other hand when I am asleep, I am asleep. As in: You can literarily carry me away and I probably wonāt wake up. Each their own. So what is your secret sleep power?
Checking in day 153. Went camping with Mr. 3 year old this weekend to give mum and miss 3 weeks some quiet time together. Great fun! Exactly what the family needed.
Iām happy with how today wentā¦ There was a brief period in the afternoon where my motivation was tested, but I got through it, for which Iām grateful. Actually getting used to the cold shower starts so much now that I could almost skip the warm water altogether , have been eating healthily, did a work out session, squeezed in some meditation with a visualization exercise and just got back from fishing with a friendly stranger Iād met whilst jogging the other day. No catch but was nice anyways, Iād isolated myself for a while during my depression and want to get back into meeting and socialising with people again as shared fun is double fun. First time fishing this whole roadtrip too surprisingly and looking forward to moreā¦
About to cook up something, not sure what yet but Iāll make it good Then will try to sleep early, maybe with some interesting documentary about space or something as an asmr. Tomorrow, once everythingās cleaned and packed, my roadtrip finally moves on! Looking forwardā¦
Stay strong, mindful and sober friends. Existence is quite the privilegeā¦ Have patience and faith in yourself and all your unique potential! Effort will be rewarded. Mental growth is like physical growth though, one small step at a time, ODAAT. Weāve got this. Much love friendā¦
Wowā¦now that makes sense about your ex. The doctors I know have this skillā¦ your skill is something elseš¤£ā¦ Glad you get such sound deep sleep.
I donāt think I have a sleep super power. I do sleep with my eyes 1/4 open so I tend to freak people outā¦not sure itās a power but always makes me laugh
I was having a conversation with a friend today about how addiction takes you away from community and isolates you.The longer I hid my drinking the more I wanted to isolate myself. I didnāt have the energy to socialize how I usually would and I was less engaged. Now that Iāve been sober for a few months Iām seeing my desire to socialize and become more involved in things I used to be start up again. Like you said getting back into community and society.
Itās fascinating reading how the culture where you live is on the extreme side of independent/isolation which has many negative effects. On my end I would say we are on the other side of the scale extreme community however this also has many negative effects. The problem is there is not a healthy balance of both types of societies. Here you are not an individual and are unable to express your own ideas or thoughts and youāre ostracized if you are different. The community rules in all things who you marry, what job you have and where you live is the choice of elders. Your money, house and possessions are not your own but the communities. Like I said just as extreme as your individualistic society. I am an American living here so I can get away with much more than local girls. But I do think there are things we can learn from both cultures to create a more healthy mindset on how to live as a society.
Iām really glad youāre getting out and learning how much you love to socialize. And I can totally relate to finding it easier to befriend older people in the west. Iāve not been back to America for about 10 years now but growing up there I never managed to make friends my own age but loved talking to older people. I found they were more open and easier to talk to.
Hope you do make some new friends your age though! Good for you trying and working to engage.
136 days sober
Today was really relaxing. I took a lazy day so had a longer hike with a friend which felt so good after not hiking on my own till my arm is healed up from this break. We had a good conversation and time together. Then came home to read and hang with the dogs. It was a good day of being social but also taking time to be alone. I felt like I was needing a day like today and feel in a really good mood.
Tomorrow Iāll have a session with the counselor. I have a few questions written down to ask her about how to cope with the anxiety and fear I feel after our sessions. Hoping I get good advice about it and that our session goes well.
I hope today is better.
That is inspiration!
Thatās how I feel every time I do the laundry. Soā¦ 
see you down the road!
Iāve already had two good deep naps since my last post 
Then will try to sleep early, maybe with some interesting documentary about space or something as an asmr. Tomorrow, once everythingās cleaned and packed, my roadtrip finally moves on! 
