I’m at my first stop in New Mexico! Only about 3.5 hours to go to Santa Fe. 8 hours in the heat was enough. So I got myself out of Texas and stopped for the night.
No drinking thoughts and I’m sunburned, fed and thrilled to be here. 
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Day 917
Feeling 100% better right now. Self care is exactly what i needed. Nothing beats a hot shower, wonderfully scented body lotion, face moisturizer, and lip balm. I always feel like a new human being, even after the toughest days.
Today was a little rough. Earlier i posted (and then deleted bcuz i thought it sounded whiny) about how i was struggling with comparing myself with others. I dont normally think this but jealousy was rearing its ugly head and thise thoughts did rent space in my head. I managed to pull out of it using distraction and a gratitude list.
I finished work, ran and errand on the way home, and then came home to my loving family.
Ive been practicing my speech for the pediatric cancer fundraiser in Sept and im really actually pleased with what i wrote. Not bad for someone who hasnt been in school for a looooong time lol im excited to do something good and be of service.
I really hope everyone is doing well. Congratulations to those celebrating milestones also! Going to do a bit of reading on here now and get my son ready for bed. Much love 
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Day 428 AF
It was a pretty good weekend. I had been talking to a new guy, we met yesterday for lunch after a week of pretty consistent communication throughout the week. His father unfortunately is dying so it was a bit if a downer. I felt bad for him. He supposedly flew home today and advised me that he had no idea when he’ll be back. I’m not sure if he’s telling me the truth or if that was his way of telling me he didn’t want to see me again. Dating shouldn’t be so hard. Thank a whole thing triggered me and I reached out to the toxic ex. He did not respond thank god.
I shouldn’t be dating. I need to focus on building my life as a single sober woman. Today was much better. Attending a Women’s meeting that I’m enjoying and met a new friend for lunch.
Going to reset my attitude. @Butterflymoonwoman im going to go journal in my gratitude journal and stop feeling sorry for myself. Your post was helpful.
I hope everyone enjoyed their sober Sunday. Sleep well.
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127
Feeling a bit of an urge to drink, probably just boredom.
Doing good otherwise 
Have completely fallen in love with someone which is new and exciting. 
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Im glad my post was helpful 
i get it tho… i was feeling sorry for my self too. Sometimes it seems easier to just sit in it but its not great for our mental health. There truly is sooo much to be grateful for.
I hope that man was telling u the truth. I guess time will tell. Hes probably going thru alot with his dad and not in the right frame of mind. I am glad that ur toxic ex didnt pick up. That probably would have been disastrous.
Its hard not to want that connection tho. Before i met my husband i needed that connection with a man at all times, to the point that id go to extreme lengths (sex work being one of them) to feed that connection. But men were just another escape for me. Just like drugs and alcohol were. “Relationships” were just another distraction that prevented me from having to look at myself. Be single isnt a bad thing at all! Doing that inner work is crucial in order to attract the right kind of people to ourselves
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2y 5m 16d no self harm
today is better in terms of self harm urges but my eating disorder is really starting to take over my life again
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Thanks Jazzy! It turned out to be a very relaxing day. I haven’t done that in awhile. I think you are right about my numbers climbing and contributing to the cravings.
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Checking in day 98. Doing well, not much to report.
Have a good evening all!
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Hi, I am returning after a 7 month relapse. Today I have 57 days sober. My daughter past away November 12,2021. Her birthday is coming up on September 12th. I’m starting to get anxieties. I don’t want to relapse this time around. Last September I got drunk and got in a fight and ended up with a black eye driving home on three wheel and a rim. 
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@Cynthia1 Welcome back, you’ve got this! Would your daughter have been in favor of you not drinking? If so, maybe you use the upcoming anniversary as something to work up to and through?
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Yes!! She would be proud of me for not drinking. Thank you!
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I’m proud of you and yes, it IS a big deal!!
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Thank you!!
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Thankyou !!!
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Hey hope everyone had a good weekend im doing trying to get better with each day but it seems not to ease the pain of the lost of my mom and the heart attack of separation of my partner feeling lonely and down tonight but the one thing i keep telling myself is not to pick up and its been working because it wont make anything beter it wont bring my mom back and it wont heal my heart its just a stupid muscle any way. But i know after all i have been through with my past with using and now all of the things im going through now as long as we dont pick up no one can take that away but us remember no one can make you do anything it is a choice at least that is what i feel hope everyone has a good night and tomorrow is even beter sweet dreams
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Thanks so much!
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Nice to see you back, Sheena!! 
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Thank you very much! It feels great to be back!
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1899
One day off. Glad I shared about what happened the day before with friends and even colleagues. I wouldn’t have been able in the past. In a nutshell what happened is that I lost my keys on my way home from work which is a problem as I live alone, I do have some spares at friends’ places but they’re on holidays. And it totally triggers some unhealthy coping mechanisms in me, like secrecy and dishonesty and isolation and more. But after searching around Utrecht somehow the keys did turn up at the least expected point, and yesterday I was able to share and write about it and that mede me feel a whole lot better about the whole affair. As well as still having my keys.
Today I’ll use for some other healthy coping mechanisms. It’s very nice weather. I’ll go for a bike ride. And go to a Recovery Dharma meeting tonight. Eat healthy. And be in bed in time, so hopefully I’ll be fit and ready for my experience work days tomorrow. Thanks so much for being here all. We’re in this together. Have as good a day as you all can. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. I will. Love.
Pic is from my commute through Utrecht
@Sissychris39 Welcome back!
@Cynthia1 Glad to have you aboard Cynthia! Hang with us, we need each other 
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Thanks so much, and thank you for sharing!
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