Checking in. Day 6. Tomorrow is ONE week! 
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Today wasnāt to bad. Work was steady but not overwhelming. And my anxiety has been better at work. Iām learning that all I can do is try my best and have a good attitude. I been at this restaurant for almost 3 months and that is the longest I held a job in a really long time. Iām going to stay put and eventually cross train to do something besides dishwashing. Iām always afraid to step out of my comfort zone and for years have had similar roles or jobs and with staying sober I know I have a better shot at doing something new maybe like cooking or waiting tables. Plus as I have mentioned before my management team knows about my sobriety and probation and has no judgement and are understanding. They gave me a chance when a lot of other companies turned me down. So this is a good place for me to stick around. Went to a meeting after work even though I didnāt really feel like it but felt better once I did. I was biking home over the bridge and stopped to appreciate the water and downtown view. I have a different feeling about where I live these days and Iām grateful. Met up with my mom and got some dinner and we just talked about life. My parents are awesome at helping put things into perspective for me and help me stay positive. I expressed the stress Iām under from this probation and felony charges Iām dealing with and the repercussions of my choices on my last relapse but my mom helped me to realize Iām doing what Iām supposed to and there is nothing to fear. I probably had to hit this bottom and be scared for my life and freedom to want to truly change my ways. Overall today was really good and now Iām just resting at the sober living watching random videos on YouTube. Im going to stay on this path of recovery from alcohol and all substances no matter what life throws at me. Using or drinking is only a temporary solution and I would still wake up the next day with the same problems and even worse things to deal with. So Iām not going to go back and Iām not going to forget where a relapse would take me. Itās not a option. Iām going to keep staying busy and stay prayed up to my higher power and give thanks. Thatās about all for nowā¦ love you all! Very grateful for this community!
-Trevor
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Thanks Jazzy! Helps me so much having you folks
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Day 109
Today I decided I was ready to go back into my old job (the bar) where I was working when I abruptly quit and became a personal shit show. Itās been about 4 months since I left. I made a fool of myself and hurt some very kind people. Throughout my recovery some have stayed in touch and asked how I was doing. Tonight I decided to go back after my group event I did at church. Was craving some hot wings and forgiveness. I tell yall I have been doing great in my sobriety. Tonight I pulled into the parking and sat there for over 30 min with anxiety about going in. Not because of drinking, but for facing the people I let down and hurt. Was hard but of course they all were so happy to see me and vice versa. Compliments of how good I looked compared to the past me. Just really damn proud of where I am and where Iām heading. So thankful for this place. Just wanted to share with my sober fam here.
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Congratulations on your 30 days!!
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Fricken love this dude. You are right where you need to be. I used to manage restaurants. Just keep doin what youāre currently doing and it will all start coming together in time. This was good to read and Iām proud of you dude
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Congratulations on 9 months! 
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@acromouse Great job on 9 months! 
@Jesile Glad you made it thru today. Work parties are just uncomfortable, but at least youāll be feeling better than your coworkers tomorrow 
@jbaldwin84 Thatās really awesome and nice to hear. Iām happy for you, man 
554
Luckily I went to bed earlier than normal and fell asleep right away bc I woke up waaay too early. I made a nice breakfast, tided up, and did some crafting with my daughter before I got tired. She went upstairs for a while before lunch so I decided to take a nap, but wouldnāt you know, she comes back early! She never comes home early! Haf lunch and tried to relax for the rest of the short time before work.
Work was great in the beginning, until this separate party started at 7:30 and our bartender had to switch bars and I was left doing 2 jobs again. My boss explained to me what was expected after the party(that I wasnāt working or getting paid for), hinting she wanted me to stay until it was over. Fuck that! Itās not my fault she called off 3 of the 5 people scheduled for the party, including the only 2 guys on all day. Iām not sticking around for an extra 2 hours to do heavy lifting. I finished my room, sent my girls home, and walked right past her when I left. Iām not letting her work me to death. Iām tired, boss 
And I should be getting to bed, so goodnight to you all
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Day 432 AF checking in
Serious back pain today almost debilitating.
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Thanks Laura
And good for you telling that manager to shove it. I always let my fellow managers reap their choices on things like that lol. You made the call, now go do your job and cover your mistake 
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Hello dark mornings; it seems like autumn is here already!! Itās dull and rainy, but I also think we are in some weird storm hitting another storm. Iām awake by five am again. One of my cats was laying on my chest, nuzzling my neck and wanting attention. The other one was pulling up a sheepskin rug next to the bed, and choking on the fur repeatedlyā¦
A contractor came to look at the damage to the soil stack issue in the flat above two days ago and I was so excited, but apparently they declined the job yesterday. Looks like during winter we will have scaffolding up for the balcony renovation and also bathroom remedial fixtures including the ceiling. Itās a lot to have two separate works happening on a two bed flat with two adults and two crazy cats, but letās just believe itās ok for now.
I had super weird dreams again: in one, the skin was coming off my feet in actual sheets. The other was vague but a kind of an anxious home invasion setting. I have this same dream a lot; always in the same house from my childhood, and itās always scary and oppressive and just goes on for hours. I hate those the most as they leave me uneasy all day.
Anyway, letās Friday.
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1903
Letās Friday. Therapy in a couple of hours. Gotta hurry home after that, as a maintenance person is coming over to do maintenance (duh) on my heating/warm water apparatus. Hope they come early so I have some of my afternoon left. Although it will be a relaxing afternoon I hope. I had three intensive days of work. Need to recover a bit. Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober or nothing will come form it. I will. Love. Pic is the bookstore of my youth, in the area I grew up in, which I just fond out is still there after all these years. Much smaller inside as I remember of course. Still a nice place and space.
@acromouse Congrats on nine months and a day!
@SussexGuy Congrats on reaching triple digits!
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Congratulations with the 
days @SussexGuy You got your triple digits! 
And @Refreshedperspective congrats with your 
days Iām sorry about the relationship issues though. But with drinking they will even be worse 
Well done @Bomdhil , a full month!
Proud of you!
*Day 2166š¶āāļø
The church tower climbing was great, what a view we had! We went up with a smal group of people, just 6 of us and a guide.
I stayed at the viewing point as long as I could to enjoy the view and then went downstairs again with my friend. Discovered we where the last ones and when we returned to the door to the church enerence it was closed!
So there we stood, just the 2 of us locked in a tiny little hallway! 
I discovered a emergency exit that I could get open and decided to wait a few minutes before we should use that one. We rambled a bit on the big wooden door and then heared a key getting in the lock. We were saved 
I laughed my heart out, locked in a church!
I have such crazy stuff lotās of times
But like I said: the view was magnificent! If you visit my city again @Mno we definitely have to do this together. We also have seen the curchbel and the carillon working. It was so interesting!
Today? Work.
Have a good day ore night TS people! 
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@lisa_lou_who we really can do hard things sober 
Iām sorry about the cold sore and hope it heals quickly 
Iām also sorry about your job, and hope youāll be successful in your search for a new one 
congrats on double digits
@Thirdmonkey congrats on triple digits for no tobacco 
@MrsOdh I love this for your son 
@Refreshedperspective sorry about your relationship issues 
but congrats on 60 days
@SussexGuy congrats on triple digits
@Bomdhil congrats on 30 days a new book is an awesome reward 
@Jesile that really is sad 
I can see why you felt uneasy. I hope they made sure he got home safely.
@JazzyS thank you š©µ
@Tyland speak to a doctor and ask for a blood test to see if it is low, then if it is, you can get shots to raise it.
@DanaM56 I hope your back pain settles asap
1473 days no alcohol.
938 days no cocaine.
453 days no vape.
26 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
The rest of yesterday was okay. After checking-in here, I drove to my hometown to collect some meds. Then I did my meditations, and went for my walk. I had to stop to rest my back on a bench at the halfway point again, and for the rest of the way I had to walk so slowly and was in a lot of pain. I know I just need to keep doing it, along with my rehab exercises. I have my appointment with the specialist on 10th September, so thatās hopeful too.
Today is Friday therapy. I have a few dreams to talk about, and the second box of photos. Maybe after the session Iāll look through the 3rd box.
š©µ
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Iām here, Iām alive Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 177.
Friday, woohoo.
We where supposed to go to the Cowboy/western theme park today but thereās a storm, rainy and extreme wind so weāre not going.
Thereās been so much telling us not to go, the storm, the fact that thereās a festival in the city our hotel was booked, and the hotel even warned people for drunks and loud music 24/7 all weekend. Our car that now starts whenever it wants to and not when we want it. My husband who doesnāt get his money until Monday because the bank had some kind of trouble. Just to name a few.
Feels stupid to defiy the universe in this 
So weāre staying home.
Going to make some lasanga tonight, and weāre probably going to our local indoor pool tomorrow and then to the local pizza place.
Thatās all Folks 
Wishing yāall a wonderful day.
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Day 426. Tired this morning. Working 8-2. Then taking the afternoon off. Day 426 feels a bit odd. I can visualise a week, month, half year etc but 426 just seems a chunk.
I will try and set some milestones I understand
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Hot wings and forgiveness, canāt be better than that. Iām so proud of you for doing what you did. It takes a lot of courage to do that.
Good job 
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So perfectly said. Post this around for yourself as a reminderā¦ life will continue to be lifey but we canāt deal with it stuck in addiction.
@Tyland have you gone to see your GP? Maybe get blood levels checked for vitamin deficiency and look into this as well. Ink ow if my Vit D levels drop them my fatigue becomes unbearable.
@jbaldwin84 glad you were able to go and gave the place / people without any triggers. Making amazing leaps in your recovery. Keep this going strong 
Good for youā¦she better learn to do her job better and not keep at it the way she is ā¦she will loose good workers this way. Hope you get a good nightās sleep.
@Tragicfarinelli sorry that job got declined. Wowā¦you will have a lot going on during the winterā¦stay calm and serene. The dreams sound awfulā¦hope you are able to have a fabulous Friday
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I think we all need to see the world like he does sometimes. Either you solve your own problems in a way that feels comfortable for you. Or you will stay miserable.
One of the most amazing things with having special needs kids is that you get different perspectives on life.
Hope you got a good sleep
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