Checking in on this beautiful Friday evening
Went for a ride after work to easy my mind a little and watched a little bit of the sun set I hope everyone has a safe and sober weekend
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 178.
According to the new āeating adviceā I got yesterday Iām not supposed to eat the bread weāve got at home. Luckily thereās some loaded mashed potatoes left still, thatāll make a great breakfast 
Today we plan to visit our local indoor pool. I like swimming and being in water. And I love being in the sauna as well. Not sure why I donāt take the chance to go and swim more often. Maybe I actually should make it a weekly thing, sign up for water exercise or something like that.
At least I can check the possibilities and the prices.
Finally realized that my psychiatrist is right. Iām not good at doing things for my own sake. Probably because Iām used not to.
Spoke to my mother again yesterday, unfortunately Iām getting more and more tired of her thinking Iām not good enough no matter what I do. Then I spoke to my brother as well, weāre the ones that helps her with everything and make sure everything important gets done. It was shown that Ma and our sisters had a crawfish party last weekend. Neither my family or my brothers family was invited or asked if we wanted to join.
I donāt care I wouldnāt attend anyway since Iām trying to avoid all of them as much as I can. My brother on the other side was upset. And when he asked Ma about it, she said āWell it wasnāt a real party, and youāll be invited for me and Sophiaās Octoberfest laterā
Weāve never talked about and Octoberfest so I was just as surprised as my brother to hear about that
I called her and she said something like āWell, I thought Iād be fun if you could arrange oneā
How hard do you guys think It would be to immigrate toā¦ Belize? Or maybe Atlantis would be harder to find?
Thatās all Folks 
Wishing yāall a wonderful day.
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- I donāt know how I live my life being chronically tired all the time. My sleep is hideous. Hideous. Firstly, I find it hard to fall asleep; often it takes two hours or so. Then, I wake at the lightest noise and donāt get back to sleep easily several times in the night. I wake at an ungodly hour in the morning even after all of this. Itās really quite crap now.
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Itās funny, I was actually just thinking about starting a sleep topic because I am exactly like you describe. It used to take 1.5 - 2 hours for me to wind down enough to consider going to bed and that was while I was using. Now while sober, I lie awake for another 2 or so hours and then wake up from the slightest noise. The only thing that has helped me (other than sleep medication, which I want to stay away from knowing I have an addictive personality) is blackout curtains to make the room as dark and quiet as possible. Hang in there!
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Hey Dirk. I have blackout blinds at home, but Iām away currently. I bought a sleep mask and ear plugs with me so Iām getting the big guns out tonight! I would like to try melatonin but itās not available in the UK! Not easily or commercially anywayā¦ You can only buy valerian, natural sleep remedies and supplements that support the production of melatonin! I wouldnāt (and havenāt ever) use sleeping tablets as I also would just abuse them!
You hang in there too. 
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1904
Therapy was intense yesterday, we did emdr and I always feel resistance to that beforehand as I have no direct ptsd, thereās no one deciding instance in my past, not one or two traumatic experiences. Instead my boyhood traumas were formed over many years of emotional neglect and inappropriate behaviour by adults. So itās hard to find instances, scenes, to work with in emdr. But this time it worked great and unexpected and we got some great results I feel. Progress, maybe even e breakthrough. .
I was knackered afterwards and then the heating/warm water maintenance guy didnāt show until 4 and as it turned out the heating boiler needs a replacement
part that needs to be ordered. So when my sis messaged me, inviting to come out to the park and share a meal, I didnāt feel like it. But after thinking I didnāt feel like preparing a meal myself either, I did drag my butt out and showed up. Turned out to be a nice very low key neighbourhood voluntary initiative, cheep and cheerful. It was fun with some live entertainment thrown in as well. And the food was good.
Iām not really rested yet. Today Iām going to do some house chores and see what the day brings. Maybe Iāll eat with sis again in her community garden (who would Iāve thought Iād do stuff with my sis two days in a row?), although right now itās raining. Will see. Iāll remain sober and clean for sure, as using substances wouldnāt bring me anything good at all. As it never really did. Never again. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from Flevopark.
@Alicat22 Itās one day at a time for all of us. Congrats on day 5 and keep going. Youāre not alone.
@MrsOdh Easter Island?
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Looks like a really cozy place, glad you had a great time.
Easter Island sounds pretty good, maybe I can meet the Easter Bunny and hide in some of his tunnels
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@mindofsobermike 282 days is amazing Mike. Man Iām sorry that incident happened and triggered you. Glad you have someone to talk to IRL ad glad you are still kicking ass ā good luck with the share at the half way house. You are a role model for many 
@juli1 Damn hormones. Iām sorry that your mood is off. Hope you are able to change focus. I do think that a new challenge is a great idea and heck yeah ā the gym is awesome! A good work out can be so invigorating. Big hugs Jules ā you are doing great.
@tyland Oh thatās good ā hope you get the results soon and are able to regain your energy soon
@brokenwolf Totally something to be proud of. 1000 days!!! Grateful you came here to share this milestone with us 
@mrsodh Oh man that sucks ā sorry Sophia! Wishing you luck in eliminating yet even more from your diet. Hopefully your gut starts healing and you feel better
@sissychris39 Glad you reset the counter ā the addict voice is very sneaky and always wrong. You are doing great
@Alicat22 welcome back and a hell of a Job with 5 daysā¦keep working your journey 
@wahtisnormal man that boredom can real mess with the brain. I hope you were able to find something to do that would keep you mentally and physically busy. This is what helps me when the urges hit.
@1in8billion I love that practice and will try it myself. Thanks for sharing. Omg- a dingo stole your shoe??? How crazy is that?
@Just_Laura oooh I love it ā¦ triple 5āsā:confetti_ball:
Checking in on Saturday early morningā¦
Gonna restart some PT exercises and hopefully get some of my back pain back to tolerable.
Sleep is so in and out- very grateful that I am not having to focus on anything specific. Want to get back to my workout routine - hoping to do so soon.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
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Sorry about your back pain. I canāt even imagine how horrible that is. But I do see how it affects my husband. Hope your new exercise helps 
About my food, Iām used to it. Iām pretty much born being allergic to everything so it wonāt be much of a trouble. I do find it funny that she said that I should be back to basics like Steak and potatoes, when most doctors here recommend the opposite less meat and not to much potatoes because thereās more healthy options. Not sure how potatoes are unhealthy but Iām no doctor.
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Lolā¦Iām with you on this one ā¦I do love my potatos.
Glad you have such a good upbeat attitude.
Stretching and movement hurt but help if that makes sense. I rather be in pain in movement than sitting down (may be a mental thing of feeling like Iāve done something). Determined to make today a good day
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I see a lot of new people come here frightened and hopeless, I too could not get 1 sober day behind me and it was some of the worst moments Iāve ever had to experience. Acceptance, faith and the help of others got me here today.
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276 days no sugar
140 UPF
14 gluten
14 dairy
3 compulsive eating
Feeling very tired today. Hormones are doing cartwheels and somersaults 
Did the groceries and some stuff around the flat. Think Iām going to be mostly napping today.
Whatever the day Iām going to try to keep my heart and mind open 
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266 days
Up early for kids swimming then straight to the gym for kids training.
After that it was just a chilled day at home as the weather wasnāt the best.
Daughter has a tournament tomorrow, sheās matched in an older division so sheāll be an underdog.
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Thatās amazing. Very well done and congratulations 
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Day 232 AF
Itās once again an amazing and beautiful morning to have coffee with a picture perfect view (sorry no pics, it was just me and coffee and doggos, no phone at time)
I am off to mow, fertilize and enjoy a day of fresh cut grass smells.
Perhaps home afterwards, shower and a motorcycle ride out for a bite as wife works again tonight. Then early to bed, early to rise and do it againā¦ these days are incredible, brought to you by sobriety.
I hope many of you are getting an oppt to enjoy these last few weeks of summer (in northern hemisphere) as the inevitable march to fall (
) and amazing colors and crisp mornings begin.
Best
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Youāre becoming an expert on healthy food and hope youāll find proper diet that fits your body and doesnāt cause any allergies. I have a homebread, baking in there 1.6kg bread (whole grain, etc) - itās super delicious and healthy piece. Totally recommend it
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Iām looking forward to a day I begin to write āxxx day of being soberā 
As of today Iām just grateful for having a clear mind and objective supported by plan to commit to my sobriety. I know higher power, Jesus help me. And this community Keep going back to past articles and gaining wisdom and energy from what you shared. Take care TS
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Hey all, checking in on day 1532. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Thatās amazing! Huge congratulations to you 
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Huge congratulations 
Good to c you!
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