Checking in daily to maintain focus #69

I wish this was true here! We are supposed to hit over 100 degrees for the next 3-4 days. Ugh!

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Sorry itā€™s also been a rough day for you too! Hope tomorrow is better for both of us. Am sorry to hear about this scam hopefully youā€™ll be able to get your money back and that youā€™ll be able to relax tonight then have a good long sleep.

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Day 176

Another perfect morning in Santa Fe with fresh mountain breezes and open windows! It feels like Fall to me, but Iā€™m told itā€™s warm and summery still. 105-110 degrees in Texas so 50s feels so good!

I sure like it here. Not made for hot weather. :heart:. I think weā€™re going downtown to the Plaza again later. Itā€™s my last day. Back to west Texas tomorrow, and home Monday.

@CATMANCAM I donā€™t understand it either. I used to drive a lot too. It happened during the pandemic- I just became fearful. But I did very well this week, no problems. When I was in the thick of it, I was fine because I had to be. Iā€™ll keep pushing until my palms donā€™t sweat in traffic. This city is full of roundabouts and Iā€™m starting to get confident. :white_check_mark: We can do this :grinning:

Come on Fall! :maple_leaf: :jack_o_lantern:

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Hey good morning i just wanted to say i have read something all different and there is a few of you it seems to take the time to read alot i mean alot of stuff on here and i have seen nothing but good advice or support even in some cases empathy for the people that you have read about just want to take a moment to say thank you

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7y8m8d
Iā€™m having trouble believing the truth this morning because of fear and negative beliefs my older brother has built into me when I was young. So I know this is old stuff and not true. I am going to ā€œact as ifā€ I have the positive beliefs I want and know that I will feel better on the other side. After 2-3 years, I need/want to increase my consulting fee by $10/hr and I ā€œbelieveā€ that I will never get the work at that price. I am about to write the contract anyway. I canā€™t control the outcome. If they donā€™t hire me, Iā€™ll be okay and will get work elsewhere. Hope everyone has a good day today!

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I havenā€™t checked in for a while and now i realize that was a mistake as this damn disease has snuck up on me again. I havenā€™t drank, but i gave it a lot of thought and that scares me. My completely oblivious to other peopleā€™s feelings brother-in-law sent me pics of his friday after-work drinks at the bar yesterday. At first, i was disgusted. Then i started thinking about how nice it would be to be able to relax with a drink after work. I was home alone, cooking and baking for an event today. It was my prime drinking time and situation. I obsessed about it all evening until bedtime. I woke up this morning and started thinking about it again while finishing up my prep work. I know thereā€™s no relaxing Friday after work drink for me. Itā€™s drink until i pass out, wake up feeling like shit and start over again. Itā€™s a never ending cycle which will destroy my life if i allow myself to go down that path again. I canā€™t moderate. I canā€™t drink like a normal person. I hope writing this gets it out of my head.

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Way to go on coming back here and playing the tape to the end. Im glad to see u posting :slight_smile:

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Checking in 179. Sobriety is a wonderful state to be in. However life can be challenging. It does give me the opportunity to ask God to remove my defects. If God doesnā€™t know them my husband can provide the list! Take good care of YOU ā€œmy peopleā€ and for your sakes stay sober today! :heart_eyes:
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I want to live sober.

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Day 47. My friend came today to visit me and he was stoned as f. He asked do I mind if he smokes some pot and I told him that Iā€™m cool with it, I donā€™t mind. So, he smoked a spliff and I didnā€™t have any cravings at all. Iā€™m proud of myself, my recovery really seems to work.

This day has been good, I took a long walk and ate healthy vegan food. Life seems good at the moment, gotta enjoy this feeling while it lasts.

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Checking in! :wave:t2:
Iā€™m just kicking off a week of holidays! Today work was ok, and I managed to get a lot of stuff done! Always a good way to start your holidays. I donā€™t have any specific plans, but I do need some kind of plan to keep busy, and not fall into old habits.
After two of my kitties died in the past 5 months, Iā€™m thinking about adopting a new cat! I have already seen several options from a local shelter! Weā€™ll see if I finally go for it! Moka seems quite happy to be the only child, and to be the spoilt one!
I finally didnā€™t meet my friend that came over, there werenā€™t too many options cause I was working, and finally I was honest; ā€œI donā€™t feel like seeing anybody right nowā€. Seems she wasnā€™t mad and that I havenā€™t lost a friend! :face_with_peeking_eye:

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Aww thanks @Aussie_Tiger i like being someoneā€™s ā€œpeepsā€ā€¦ā€¦ ā€œbig up the sobriety peep crew massiveā€ :raised_hands::raised_hands::raised_hands:

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Always appreciate your kind words. My mind sometimes makes me feel insane, this lifelong struggle combined with hiding it for years makes me feel crazy. Ive been transparent in the past, but how many times should you tell someone Iā€™m looking at inappropriate images/videos, please donā€™t leave me! Please be patient with me, even tho Iā€™m a lier and promised it was behind meā€¦ Iā€™m just fighting you know.

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Checking in day 236 AF :blush:

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Aww itā€™s so nice to hear you happy and buzzing about :blush:, im imagining this is you today :grinning:
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Thanks so much bro and thanks for the positive words. Going to stay on this path no matter what. Little by little my life will continue to improve

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Haha thats cute! Thank u for the smile friend :slight_smile:

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Thank you jasmineā€¦ I definitely been writing positive writings in my notes on my phone to read when I feel discouraged. I guess itā€™s all about learning to live life on lifeā€™s terms. Itā€™s a way better life sober and Iā€™m taking steps to not have to go back to my old life.

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Checking inā€¦ Day 8. Friday night was the hardest day yet. I didnā€™t give up though. Iā€™m so blessed and proud.

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Checking in with 879 days sober from alcohol.
Iā€™ve definitely had a lot of moments this year with parenting stress, work stress and pressure from social outings were I felt the ā€˜fuck itā€™ moments. I so badly miss the numbing side of alcohol. Life can be so difficult and stress inducing and I still feel tempted to try and numb my feelings. I feel jealous of people that manage alcohol use, and I feel disconnected from the people at work, my friends that drink all the time. Cocktail recipes, bars, nights out. I have one friend at work that constantly tells me about all of the places he drinks every weekend, all the fun he is having. He knows Iā€™m sober but doesnā€™t take it seriously and I can feel he is waiting for me to slip so I can join him drinking.
I play it forward in my head, all of the reasons I got sober. The wonderful things sobriety gives me. Good health, a clear mind, no guilt from overspending and over drinking, no hangovers, better relationships.
But the urge to drink in an alcohol soaked culture keeps me humble everyday :joy:
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone.

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Iā€™m really sorry to hear about your mom, Iā€™ve been there (my dad) and know how hard that is. Iā€™m glad youā€™re back and caught yourself early. Itā€™s good to see you back around TS.

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