I’m sitting outside enjoying tonights sunset and reflecting on my day.
I had a counseling session today and it was rough. I suppose it is a necessary pain but healing hurts and today it sucked all the energy out of me. I tried to work after but I just couldn’t concentrate on anything. My friend said it was okay to just pause on work today and go relax. I feel guilty to take off work to relax and recover after a rough morning but I was needing it and I think I wouldn’t have gotten anything productive done at work today. But my house is amazingly clean and that helped work out my anxiety.
Thanks for asking Jasmine. She was tearful going in to school this morning but she made it in to school. She just got back home half an hour ago and is in really good spirits! The school police officer took a statement from her about that woman who conned her out of her lunch money and I think she feels supported by that.
Sorry to hear you’re in so much pain though. Sending healing vibes x
Healing from trauma is bloody hard work and can take all the energy we have. So please no guilty feelings for needing some time to recover from it. Be proud of doing the work, I am of you!
My mood and motivation were a bit of a rollercoaster today, and only stabilised later on. I still seem to be vulnerable when shaken, which is a bit of a wake-up call. I think it came down to a combination of factors… First was the late start due to lack of sleep, which effected my mood, led me to browse a whole bunch on my phone (starting productive but ending aimless), which made me end up skipping my planned meditation and workout routine as it had managed to sap enough time to impact how much else I could get done that day without it getting tight and stressful. Combined with the fact that I had intended to book a shark dive here as an exciting one-time experience, but it’s booked out for a few days so I’m in limbo until then (and the weather only gets worse for such a dive)… Of note is how important distractions (productive and/or recreational) are to keep me on track, especially when I’m on my own. I feel like to-do-lists, and setting and following goals are really important. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Even just meditating is a productive alternative, and I know I need to stick more to my morning routine (i.e. breakfast, meditation and workout) and daily to-do-lists if I want to stay on track. So tomorrow I intend not to get distracted and make sure I get those core pillars in to keep my mind and body in line, especially now where I feel like I really need them.
On a lighter note, I’m into composing my second guitar song, I don’t know where the inspiration suddenly came from but I like it! Maybe I’ll post something on here sometime if I get things organised enough
That’ll be all for now, it’s already 1am so time to get to sleep a documentary should help me sleep
Have as good a day or night as you can, whoever and wherever you are in the world right now sober friend! Odaat…
Checking in with 141 days sober. I’ll stay sober today too.
Had a strange moment of weakness yesterday. My addiction voice was telling me to drink now that my husband was out of town for work. “Come on, no one will notice.” I could feel the craving so strong. Honestly it was scary. I went to dump out his alcohol as I felt I couldn’t trust myself… but lucky for me he had taken it with him.
ODAAT
Yeah definitely hard work and energy sucking. I need to work on the whole not feeling guilty for taking recovery time thing. Thanks for the encouragement! I am feeling proud of myself for working in all this.
Checking in day 181 . 16 hours to The 6 month mark. 6 months ago I was a mess. Today I am healthy and happy. I have dog with me this week. Vet appointment this morning. I have bookkeeping work to do and must not forget THE PEACHES. Hubby put ad on Facebook to sell these things and got so many responses I may have to take him more. As a bookkeeper I look at what it actually costs us to sell. No matter because he is so happy when sale made. God knows we want him happy as much as possible.
Very productive day. Finished the little kitchen makeover (instead of buying a new one) in our house. Cooked a delicious Asian veggie tofu lunch that was just… Chefs kiss
And in the afternoon mowed the whole garden again … Additionally I clarified some insurance topic finally and have built a small trolley that will be next to my desk in homeoffice.
Just a regular work lunch break check in.
I got up early before work to clean the kitchen, get breakfast for my daughter, and get her ready for the day. Hopefully my work attention span is better after this little break.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the to-do list at the moment, but I’m just gonna breathe deeply… Take it one step at a time, and not put too much pressure on myself.
Enjoy your sober day, folks.
I’m sorry friend. You did make it 28 days and that’s not lost. You are right back on with day 1 and that’s impressive too. Keep fighting this fight…I hope it gets easier and sticks for you soon. Hope you enjoyed family time today @Lighter wtf? That’s messed up that he would hassle you like that. Sorry you encountered that. You have your own style and it works for you. Don’t change a thing @Laner dang!! That’s a gorgeous sunset. Glad you took time for you and that the cleaning helped with the anxiety. Big hugs friend most definitely should feel proud of how far you’ve come and how much you are giving back to yourself @Deelzebub thanks Delia . Oh I’m glad to hear that her day turned around. Amazing what a little support can do.
Oh how awesome is that. Would love to listen to what you come up with. I too find that if I waste time or am too idle then my mind and emotions get wonky. It’s good to be productive and have a plan. ODAAT @Vanessa8 way to go! Having the place to myself stick causes my addict mind to think I should give in and no one will know …as if I’m doing this for someone else. Be proud of staying strong and sober
Afternoon check in…
I am so exhausted but can’t sleep…also afraid that I may ruin my streak of good night time sleep if I take a nap. Went for a long walk with family visiting from our of town. It was super hard and painful. Glad to be in my space now resting.
Not much else planned. Grateful my mom is cooking dinner tonight so I don’t have to.
Hope you all are having a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 180.
Ma and sisters visit was pleasant, I’m surprised. They had my nephew with them as well. That little boys is an absolute ray of sunshine. It’s a bit strange because his parents sure ain’t.
We have prepared for the renovation of the boys room, so for now they’re sleeping in the living room in their own beds. Well actually one of them slept in my bed and I slept in the living room, but the idea is that they should sleep in the living room.
My aunt called earlier today for a chat. She does that sometimes, and I call her too. It’s always nice talking to her, and I totally needed it before my Ma showed up. It gave me a boost for sure.
I wrote to thank her for calling this evening. It meant a lot to me, andI wanted her to know that.
I am sending you healing energy. I am so amazed at your spirit to carryon with walking and keeping so encouraging blessings for others. I pray you receive 100 times back to you in return. Not 100 but 1000 or yes 10000
Maybe I’ll post something on here sometime if I get things organised enough 
a documentary should help me sleep 
… Additionally I clarified some insurance topic finally and have built a small trolley that will be next to my desk in homeoffice.
. Oh I’m glad to hear that her day turned around. Amazing what a little support can do.
