Checking in daily to maintain focus #69

Checking in before bed. I had a good day and got a lot done. I got up early and took my car to be serviced. Afterwards, i went shopping for things i need for vacation. Also got a new fishing rod! I made fajitas for lunch, watched a football game and went for a long walk after it stopped raining and storming. Im worn out and ready for bed. I never got the medication issue figured out this week. No one called me back yesterday. I was really irritated, but decided not to let it ruin my weekend. Thereā€™s nothing i can do until Tuesday now. I was hoping to start the new medication before i leave for vacation, but that may not happen. Iā€™ve waited this long, whatā€™s another week or two at this point.

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Just checking in. Question, if you have a setback, is it productive to have consequences you put on yourself? With my setback i cant touch my game for 30 days. Im a huge football fan, if i have a setback, i will ban myself from watching for an extended period of time. Do you all think this is productive and if so, what have you done?

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563

Another day spent running my ass off, but the wedding in the other room was so chill that some staff was able to come help us here and there. As chaotic as it was, I felt really great by the end. Seeing my service charge surely helped. After doing some math, I found I was making $71 an hour tonight! Canā€™t complain there :sparkles: I hope this energy carries into tomorrow morning bc I totally drank the last cup of coffee I had this morning and forgot to grab more :sob: Although, I always made it to work hungover (or still drunk), so Iā€™ll be fine :+1: Enjoy your sober Sunday everyone!!!

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1912


Last day of work before my holidays ahead! Therapy on Friday really helped to ease some tensions in my mind, body and soul. I slept pretty well the last two nights. Dreamed dreams but not these crazy unsettling ones. Just normal strange ones. No cravings whatsoever. Looking forward to three weeks off work, doing stuff I want to do 100%. Clean and sober. Have as good a Sunday as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. I will. Love from the hood.

@CATMANCAM and @Tragicfarinelli I feel itā€™s hard to be proud of myself because Iā€™ve taken care of myself literally all my life. Thatā€™s just what it is and nothing to be proud of (in my mind). I take care of myself, end of. When something goes wrong Iā€™ll (only) have myself to blame and I will do so relentlessly. When stuff goes right I did my job and thatā€™s all. Nothing to be proud of, nothing to see here, move on please. Something like that.
@SelfLove_42 A basic rule in psychology is that reinforcing good behaviour by rewarding it is much more productive and helping than to punish bad behaviour. Just look at your user name and follow your own advice friend. Hugs.
@Rob11 Nice pic friend and thanks for sharing. Keep working on yourself. Leading by example is all we can do. And thatā€™s quite a club sandwich by the way! :yum: :sandwich: :heart:
@acromouse I was wondering what was happening in the pic that made it stand out for me. Thanks for making me realize it was the lack of cars. I love (shots of) streets with no cars :heart: :people_hugging: :heart:

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Day 440 AF
It was a nice day. BBQ at my sonā€™s for his birthday. I canā€™t believe my baby is 39 tomorrow. Iā€™m trying to remember the last time we celebrated his birthday together. I canā€™t remember. Iā€™m so thankful that Iā€™m included in their celebrations. Iā€™m thankful I get to spend time with my grandkids as well. I missed them so.

I also managed to catch a speaker meeting which I always find so inspirational. Overall the weekend is starting off well.

@JazzyS im sorry to hear you arenā€™t feeling well

@Butterflymoonwoman i hope you feel better and arenā€™t sick.

@Just_Laura Yay for you and the Monet you earned. Hopefully, you get to enjoy some if the holiday weekend.

Sleep well everyone!

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Thanks for mentioning the term leading by example. It is important to keep my boundaries while doing so, if I give her a finger sheā€™ll try to grap my hand and more. It is my favoriete club sandwich, my door is always open for youā€¦:pray:

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Oh I love Halloween, too.
I refuse to put up any Christmas decoration unitl after Halloween :jack_o_lantern:
But the Christmas planning has started: gifts, advent calendars, dates for parties and get-togethers. And of course the odd mince pie will find itā€™s way into my mouth long before December.
:squid:

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This is really true Menno. Maybe we should be proud of past achievement and survival then? Go deep and big on celebrating how we did manage stuff before we had the full capacity and experience to do so?

Can I add a book recommendation thatā€™s fabulous:

@CATMANCAM
@Mno

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Iā€™m here, Iā€™m alive, Iā€™m sober and Iā€™m happy.
Day 186.

September 1st. Though I was going to do so much today. Laundry,fall decorating the house, start my writing. Keep going the renovation.
Making the seasons first pumpkin spiced latte.
Bake gluten free bread.

But weā€™re out of milk, and coffee and my period cramps says that none of the other things will be done today either. Thereā€™s also still very nice warm and summery outside, weather forecast says itā€™s going to be +28 C next weekā€™s havenā€™t been that warm all summer. So fall gets to wait just a little bit longer.
Will still so the Pumpkin spiced latte when Iā€™ve been to the store this afternoon, but itā€™s going to an Iced pumpkin spiced latte :yum:

Two upcoming weeks calendar is already full. Canā€™t wait for fall break.

Like my new haircut but quietly decided to never ever cut my bangs short again. I love the look, especially on others. But Iā€™m constantly annoyed with having hair in my eyes. Luckily my hair grows fast, so itā€™ll be long enough to tuck behind my ears around Christmas again :laughing:

Thatā€™s all Folks :heavy_heart_exclamation:
Wishing yā€™all a wonderful day.

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Tonight I passed the 700 days mark, Iā€™m on day 701 :facepunch::heart::heart_hands:

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Congratulations on that, amazing :heart_eyes:

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Checking in

Have a safe and sober Labor Day weekend everyone :slightly_smiling_face:

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@GOKU2019 That story about your destroyed cassettes is really sad. I remember having audio and video cassettes as a kid that ment the world to me. My dad once recorded some of his stuff over one of mine by accident. I was so angry at him for a very long time. Canā€™t imagine being a child and having a family member destroy all my treasures like that :sob:
@Mno I think yesterdayā€™s picture felt so earie because there was no one and nothing in this street. No cars, no people, just the silent bikes :ghost: :grin:
@Lefty624 What is labor day about? Is this a holiday in the US?
@Sabrina80 Congrats on 700 days :tada: :partying_face: Quite an achievement! :muscle:

284 days no sugar
148 UPF
22 gluten
22 dairy

Hormonal changes are making my days difficult, including cravings of all sorts. My sleep is not very restorative, I feel like shit most of the day, and I canā€™t think straight even if my life depended on it. I know thiss will pass. I donā€™t have to listen to this, nor do I have to scold myself. No big deal.

Today is supposed to be the last really hot day for the weeks to come. There will be some more the following month once and again, but fall is comming and I enjoy the cooling down.
Iā€™m going to do my weekly review today, try to stay out of the heat, and then there is a birthday thing for my father in law this afternoon.

Iā€™ll keep my heart and mind open today as best as I can :peace_symbol: :hugs: :lotus:

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@Tragicfarinelli thank you :blush: šŸ©µ
@JazzyS thank you :blush: šŸ©µ sorry your migraine came back :people_hugging: I hope it passes quickly :crossed_fingers:t2:
@Deelzebub sorry for your loss :people_hugging: :mending_heart:
@Cynthia1 congrats on 70 days :tada:
@Lighter congrats on 6 months :tada:
@Bomdhil congrats on your week :tada:
@Mno that makes sense for me too :people_hugging:
@Sabrina80 congrats on 700 days :tada:
@acromouse sorry for your hormones messing you up :people_hugging:

1482 days no alcohol.
947 days no cocaine.
462 days no vape.
6 days no binge-eating.

So although Iā€™d finished my routine things by midday yesterday, it took me until 13:30 to psych myself up to go to the gym/swimming. I walked there, only to find that the pool was closed for the day. I went in for a coffee in the cafĆ© and decided not to waste my last day pass when I canā€™t do the changing room and swimming part, because I need to know I can cope with that before I rejoin. Now, the plan is to go today, my bag is packed ready, so all I need to do when itā€™s time to go is get changed.

I had a using dream last night. I felt so scared when I became conscious of the reality of what I was doing in my dream, woken up feeling depressed today. It was raining here all morning until a little while ago, itā€™s getting brighter and much warmer now.

I hope youā€™re all having wonderful sober weekends. :blush:

šŸ©µ

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Well I feel pretty good today. Yesterday was a chilled kind of day, went to collect the cats worm and flea treatments from their vet and wandered around the literary festival in my nearest park and got coffee there. Alan Bennett and Jay Rayner were guests there, but their events were completely sold out so I wish I had had some awareness to get tickets beforehand! Anyway, it was still fun to just mooch about and soak in the good vibes. Readers are my tribe, period.

We watched three movies in total when we got back; all a little triggering in some way, unintentionally. The Deliverance, Daddio and Longlegsā€¦ Gave room for a lot of discussions around topics that opened up a lot of introspection and thought. On top of reading my current non fiction/self help books it was a heavy emotional day. But in a kind of good way, Iā€™m glad I have safe space to talk and think.

Today is another chilled one before I set my intentions for the week. Iā€™m back on my fitness journey from tomorrow. Giving myself grace to break and work on feelings has been good because often I push thoughts down with sweat and dopamine from exertion.

Have a good 24 all.

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Day 184

Bad PTSD night. Up at 3, shaking and sweating. It takes hours to settle. But it used to be almost every night. Iā€™m safe. Itā€™s Sunday. :heart:

I have a long list of things. I donā€™t have to do them. Sober today is enough

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274 days
Fathers day here in NZ was a good day with the kids. Got to the gym early then out for lunch with the family.
The kids got out in the afternoon to play around the neighborhood.

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8 Months Sober Today :grin::heart: a huge continued thank you to everyone on here for the likes and words of encouragement.
I had a small wobble the other day my brain romanticising the idea of having a drink but i always take it a day at a time. My only advice to anyone thinking of quiting, do it! It has been by far the best thing i have ever done! Happy Sober Sunday :heart: xx

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hi friends, i feel moved to check in with yall :] itā€™s 3am and iā€™m strugglin with my mind. itā€™s been corrupted and used to ruminating on dark or disturbing or (insert favorite negative word here) for over a decade, and iā€™m only now making a genuine effort to rewire my obsessive and addictive brain. iā€™m scared my friends, but i know i got yall, and iā€™m hopin iā€™ll be able to be there for you in return <3 best wishes!!! yall got this!!!

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Congratulations to you. :heart::heart:

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