i think i forgot to check in yesterday? but at noon today (MST) i’ll have a full 72 hours sober :] couldn’t do it without the support of my fellows, thank you all !
straight up, i’m scared yall. i didn’t go to rehab this time, didn’t get into sober living, i’m just doing the damn thing. i’m being drawn and pulled to this forum, meetings, and other support groups by a force i can’t explain (my Higher Power).
so i guess i’m feelin needy rn, needing lots of support throughout each day to keep my mind right and it makes me feel guilty. i’m sticking around tho, and i hope yall will too! much love, my friends, and i hope you’re well <3
Feeling the urges pretty badly today. I’m around 4 days clean from looking at porn.
I feel like i keep lying to myself about sexual media though.
I fantasized about porn in my head this morning and went to the app store and looked at sexual media there.
Looking at women with skimpy clothes on (sexual media) i think still keeps me in this addiction.
I need to change how i view sexual media. It should be treated as badly as porn.
I keep thinking i can swear off internet porn, but i’ll just get a playboy in the future…but that is still continuing the addiction (it just might not be as bad as internet porn for you)
I think of it like this;
Would my future wife want me to secretly by myself to jerk it to other women in a magazine or online instead of having sex with her when i am horny?
I lived here for those first days, weeks. Did not care about anything else. It’s a life or death choice for me, I can’t play around and pretend there is something good for me in alcohol. Stick close; we’ve been where you are and understand.
7y8m19d
I’m going to fit in some self care today and try for less social media. I was in a bit of a funk yesterday and am hoping this is the solution. I’m going to get a half hour chair massage and also get a pedi. This is the last of our cooler weather for a while since there is a heat wave coming next week. Hope everyone has a great sober day! I’ll be enjoying the holiday sober.
@alicat22 Thanks friend. Getting a bit better each day. Hope you start to feel better soon @bomdhil appreciate you Thomas! Grateful that you are leaning in to your HP. Really helps me feel like I belong in this universe and not feel alone. Keep going my friend – you are doing great. Just read the line “its ok not to be ok” and i know I’ve heard this many times but it always hits home when I am down @danam56 thank you so much! Oh how fun – hope your son has a wonderful birthday celebration. You look fantastic for having a 39 year old son @butterflymoonwoman Oh i am glad that eating and drinking helped with the unwell feelings as you were walking I do hope you are able to get an appointment soon to help with your nose. @shel75 sorry you were not able to get the meds sorted out. Glad you did not let that ruin your weekend but hope that you do get it sorted quickly @selflove_42 Trying to self regulate your actions is hard cause we are our worst critics and harder on ourselves. I know our actions need to have consequences and deterrents but it is hard to see for ourselves how much is too much or too little and where to be gentle. Sending hugs Ooh i like what Menmo said about rewarding good behavior is far more productive than punishing ourselves @mrsodh Oh i do love this upcoming season and love how the weather is changing and PSL is now available everywhere. Enjoy! I too love the bangs and understand the frustration with them. I used to pin them back until they grew longer @sabrina80 WOOT WOOT – you go on girl – 700 + days and going strong @catmancam thanks Cam. I am resting today and hope that the headache just goes away LOL. Great work on getting to the pool – sucks that it was closed. Hope you are able to check out the gym and changing rooms properly soon YUCK realistic dreams – they suck hard. Glad they are not our reality Congrats on your 1 week of no binging! Hope your therapy session goes well @lighter Love the new avatar. OMG i’m so sorry for the PTSD. Grateful that you are safe and were able to settle. Hope you are doing better now friend. YEAH to getting more sleep – i for sure am not myself when i am in zombie formation… i need to feel right with temp and energy to function
@mrfantastik Hope you enjoyed your Fathers day. Sounds like a great way to celebrate with the family Way to go friend – 9 months is amazing work @Seizetheday Congrats on your 8 months Hanna! Great work on not giving into that wobble – they do still come but luckily we have the tools and the sense to overcome em @teefgub Welcome to the community Jesse – grateful that you found us and are here working on your recovery – ODAAT and we are all here to keep each other on the forward path 72 hours is fantastic. I was on this place all the time when I first found it early in my journey. I could not get enough and was so very grateful for all the threads (the support and wisdom and advice) that was here. Plus the just for fun threads were nice to keep me distracted. You are not needy my friend… you are in need of not feeling alone… keep connected here and with meetings – support is essential for us on this recovery path @tyland Sorry for the day you experienced my friend – it is hard to move forward when you are hurting but to know that time does heal all wounds. I know its hard to imagine when you are in the thick of it but it is true. Keep doing what you are doing and I hope you start feeling good and some solid relief soon @juli1 Woohoo – new job week – wishing you the best of luck my friend! @1in8billion WOW – i love this and thank you for the list of positive affirmations. We do all need a friendly reminder of how awesome we are @laner grateful to hear that the lady did come forward and did try to make things right. Does not excuse her behavior at all. Just grateful that the kids will get the uniforms. Hopefully the first day was not bad for them and you were able to get empathy from the teachers grateful for all that you do. @pattycake thanks friend. A bit better but not 100%. I’ll take it. Way to go on your junk food counter Each day without the junk food is a win. Keep pushing forward @asp Welcome to the community Adam. Great to have you here with us and on day 2!!! That is awesome work – keep going strong and stay connected Support and finding ways to keep busy were key in my journey. Read around and join in on the threads – loads of amazing support and advice here @jules000 Super exciting that your move is 2 weeks away and that is fantastic news on the company furnishing your apartment for free – how cool is that? Love this for you
@sissychris39 WOW that is awesome – double digits for no shopping and 2 weeks of no binging @hakeemosman Way to go friend – so good to see you checking in and with 1 week milestone @mno sorry that your weekend was so tiring and hard but grateful that you now get to enjoy a 3 week vacation! Have a blast celebrating your time off with your friend @tragicfarinelli Sorry friend – nightmares are exhausting on so many levels. Hope you are able to relax and gain some energy today @zzz Grateful that you had a successful launch! Way to go friend Great video @dan.h84 YEAH to double 4’s! Longest streak is anwesome feeling – keep going friend – you ain’t seen nothing yet @rosacando Oh so lovely to see you posting and grateful that you did have a wonderful weekend. @lifewarrior135 Welcome to the community Ted! Recovery is not easy but as we find new ways to cope with our DOC and avoid the triggers that could lead us backwards – we gain our sober muscles and are able to fight another day. 4 days is impressive work – stay strong! @kareness OOH self care day sounds lovely and I do hope that it helps get you out of the funk.
Checking in on Monday afternoon – Happy Labor Day!
621 Days free of alcohol and weed
1036 days free of cigarettes
Allergies are unreal today. My nose feels raw from blowing it so much LOL. Head and body still not great but a bit better. Just going to enjoy the sunshine from indoors today. Not feeling like doing much of anything today.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
thank you so much my friend, your support and understanding means a lot! i stay on here for hours at a time it feels haha, but it’s good to know that i’m welcome here and have yall :] ! i love seein all the love spread here, so thank you again for being here and supporting us all <3 i wish you the best and hope you’re well!
I’ve run outta hearts. You are most welcome and yes - please stay here with us – read and connect with us - we are all in the same boat and know the struggle so can be each other’s champions
So grateful that you found the Gratitude thread as well - that one is my favorite for sure. We can really change our mindset with practicing gratefulness each day
hi friend, thank you so much for your support and understanding :] ! it feels good knowing people care, and it feels good caring about others again. i hope you’re well, my friend, be good to yourself today <3
Checking in!
Today has been my last day of holidays, tomorrow I’m back at the office! I always enjoy holidays, but without work, I wouldn’t enjoy holidays that much, so going back is just fine! I’m dreading my inbox… but I’ll get that sorted little by little!
The last two days I haven’t done too many things, just the usual stuff; going for my daily walk, listen to audiobooks while cleaning (I really enjoy that! I must be weird!), preparing tuppers for the upcoming week bla bla. All over it’s been a good week, with nice weather! Tomorrow back to my routine!
Peanut, aka Mr. P. Has been accepted by Moka, that’s another step forward!
Checking in , i think i missed yesterday. Had the day off and to myself. I got a lot accomplished. I took a drive down the valley to the Amish community. Hit some produce stands, small shops and discount grocery store. Stopped by a shoe store to look at some sandals. I was there a few weeks ago and couldn’t decide between two pair and they were getting ready to close, so i just left. Today, both pair were 50 percent off, so i got both!! That worked out nicely. I cleaned out my car, vacuumed, washed and waxed it when i got home. I also started packing and organizing things for vacation and finished up some laundry. It’s been a very productive day. I was just thinking that when i was drinking, a holiday weekend would have been so much different. I would have started drinking Friday after work and been an absolute mess by Monday. I wouldn’t have accomplished anything and would have been sick and hungover for work Tuesday. So glad that’s not my life anymore. Hope everyone is having a great sober day. Gonna fire up the grill and cook some burgers
Checking in on day 456 AFAF.
The weather forecast was dreadful today so I decided to cancel my morning yoga session and climb back into bed after I’d got the kids out to school. It felt so nice listening to the rain outside as I dozed.
I did a tiny bit of tidying today but really I’ve just taken it easy. I didn’t sleep especially well last night, waking after a nightmare at 4am, so I plan to take my meds that help me to sleep tonight.
The forecast is for dry weather tomorrow so I may take my art materials out for some sketching.
ODAAT
@JazzyS what a great phrase is “is ok not being ok” thank you!
Also I read this today and encouraged me
"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you’?”
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Today was a really good day. As I mentioned in previous posts the sober living house I stay at has transition apartments across the street and once you move up the list, current on rent, and have a sponsor your eligible to move over there. Well it happened today!! Someone recently moved out and the house manager asked me to help clean and clear out the apartment so I did and once I finished he came back with the key and said move in it’s all yours not even realizing or getting my hopes up that I was cleaning my new apartment. It doesn’t seem real and I haven’t had my own place in 4 years. Been in and out of hospitals, detox , and homeless lost in my addiction. I guess the hard work is paying off and just because this happened doesn’t mean I let my guard down… it means I work harder and show gratitude to the people who have helped me. Went to the store to load my fridge and get a few things and was able to pay for my everything myself which is a first. And it was cool to have my parents come over to see the place. I still have a lot of work to do but not everything has to get done today. Just relaxing now and reflecting on my progress. Going to hit a meeting in a couple hours then get ready for work tomorrow. Today was good. Today was good because I’m sober. The only way is forward. One day at a time.
I do hope you are able to get an appointment soon to help with your nose.
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