Day 2358. Hard start to the morning. Got home super late from a concert. Greenday, The Smashing Pumpkins, and Rancid. Absolutely best concert I have been too. Greenday has always been my favorite group. So cool to seee them live.
Today is apple picking day! Goal is to pick, make apple juice and then can apple juice.
Thanks Sophie
Thanks so much. It really has been an incredible journey so far. Embracing sobriety has been the single best life decision Iāve ever made. I cannot fathom ever slipping back.
Morning check in today. I donāt have to be at work til later today and thought Iād sleep in. I should have known that doesnāt happen when you have cats. I think i finally got my medication issue figured out. The pharmacy promised they would be delivered tomorrow, so that means Iāll have them before i leave for vacation Saturday morning. I just hope this one works. Ive been on so many. Im running out of options. Im having a flare up now since i havenāt been on anything for awhile. Getting out in the sun while im on vacation should help my skin at least. I have two more days of work to get through before vacation. Im really looking forward to a whole week of beach time. The new cat sitter came over yesterday to meet the kids. They made right up to her, which they usually donāt with strangers, so that was encouraging. She comes highly recommended from a friend. Itās always hard leaving and trusting someone else to care for them.
I hope everyone has a beautiful sober day!
Hey all, checking in on day 1544. I hope everybody has a good one!
Checking in day 732, and officially 
years sober 
Today I feel beyond grateful, and today is always very bittersweet. These past two years have been filled with growth, peace, and happiness, but also pain, heartbreak, and grief. In these two years Iāve experienced so much of life sober- concerts, vacations (one attached photo from one), dating, new hobbies, and on and on. But I also had to break up with my ex of 7 years very early into sobriety due to his continued drinking, and he passed from complications related to his drinking a few months ago. I had to sell the house we lived in- the one he passed in. That sale just finalized yesterday. I feel sad, and angry, and unsure why I get to be here while he doesnāt. But I also feel grateful and motivated to continue on by the living the life we all deserve. Tonight, I happen to be going to the concert he asked me to go to with him in his last text to me (coincidentally, I already had tickets). Iāve framed the concert as a part of my celebration of sobriety and of his life. Apologies for the rambling.
Iām hoping to continue to build the life I want over the next year. I want to add more joy, and continue to stay grounded.
Wishing everyone- whether in day 1 of 1000000- a terrific sober Thursday 
@Sabrina80 Happy birthday! 
Big slice for me, please!
@Thirdmonkey Cool lineup!
Day 1486
My kids are back at school, but I have a couple more weeks of summer vacation. As well as tidying and doing online prep for work, I have been watching movies that I didnāt want to watch while the kids were about (and I can never watch a movie after they go to bed as it is too late). Yesterday was Saltburn, today was Poor Things. Yeah, real glad I watched those alone!
Day 188
Good morning. Itās gloomy, just spooky dark this morning. 
Inquired about the volunteer citizenās patrol here. Iāll go on a ride-along and see. Thinking of all the ways I can broaden my network and be useful.
Iām still a bit cut off from life, but looking back it needed to be that way. I desperately needed to start over. And meet many new people sober. Iāve nearly lost all fear of people. Theyāre ordinary, just like me. Some are pissy. 
Some are friendly. But theyāre just people.
I am craving a bagel. See you later my friends 
Hello my friend. Anxiety is a strange one but one thing I find with me is that when Iām at home and thinking about a heavy call or meeting is that it can snowball. Now when itās building up on me Iāll recognize it, acknowledge it and remind myself that itās not going to cause me any issues when the time comes for said call or meeting.
At home Iām relaxed in my civilian clothes and my head is in a different place, of course Iām not going to quickly be able to switch to professional mode and execute that call or meeting. But when Iām in work I will be in professional mode have everything I need around me and I will be prepared.
Itās hard for me to explain and Iām sorry if it doesnāt make a lot of sense but it works for me.
Also grounding myself when Iām in the spotlight weather that be a lean or sitting position, Iām supported, I have the weight off and any little nervous shake in my knee or whatever is not a factor, that little wobble or shake can be distracting and can permeate through your whole body.
I acknowledge when Anxiety is starting, I know the reason or whatās causing it. I try park.it and reassure that I can handle it when Iām in the position that I have to do the oask.or.meet the challenge.
A little bit of waffle above but it works for me.
Oh man, that sounds awesome! I was a Rancid chick in my 20s and went to 10+ shows in Detroit region while in college. Love them. Hope they have held up, Iād love to see them again sometime. I love Smashing Pumpkins too. What fun. Green Day is alright 
Sounds like my youth lol!
45 Days AF
Woke up slightly late but forced myself to get to the gym and I am glad I did. Feeling so much better than I was yesterday. Sometimes you just need to push yourself to get to where you want to be.
Hope everyone enjoys the Thursday!
Rancid was great. Green Day was phenomenal. I love Smashing Pumpkinsā¦will just listen to them on the radioā¦as a show they were flat
@Tomek good to read from you 
congrats on your surgery Iām glad youāre feeling better with that and the therapy. Thank you for taking in the rescue cat 
@Noshame congrats on 4 months no nicotine keep venting!
@Borderline_Billy thank you
@Bomdhil the obsessive compulsiveness of needing it as soon as I wake up, the amount Iām eating in a short amount of time, and the cost of it all. It may be fruit but itās still bingeing and therefore an addictive behaviour I want to stop.
@JazzyS Thank you 
I think it would be too late for that, Iāve been seeing her for 7 months and their policy for anyone that ends their therapy for any reason, is that they go back to the bottom of the waiting list. I was lucky to get my place back, because they had filled it but it fell through.
@SassyBoomer good to read from you congrats on your baby great grandson 
good luck with the sale and moving 
sorry youāve been feeling depressed and lonely 
sending strength š©µ
@Sabrina80 happy 44th birthday 
@Chevy55 congrats on 8 months
@MooseTracks sorry for your loss 
but congrats on 2 years 
1486 days no alcohol.
951 days no cocaine.
466 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
I have re-evaluated the fruit situation because I researched the nutritional information and serving suggestions, and itās not as bad as I thought. However I donāt like the obsessive compulsiveness of needing it as soon as I wake up, and being too preoccupied to do literally anything else whilst itās in the fridge, until itās all gone, and the financial implications from buying it all everyday too, so I do want and need to stop. I want to be free from all addictive behaviours.
Today Iāve got off to a very slow start, but I will do my routine things and wait in for a delivery this afternoon. The tendons in my feet are quite painful from doing over 11K steps yesterday for the first time in around 4 years. My back held up pretty well though, which Iām pleased about.
ETA: it hasnāt been sitting right with me. Iāve reverted back to considering it binge-eating.
š©µ
I have my SUP all pumped up, 
Aw bummer about the pumpkins. Too bad. Do you know if they were all the original members?
hi again friends :] officially 6 days at noon today!
i feel enlightened yall. my HP is really at work, revealing all sorts of things to me and bringing me closer to Him. i feel good :] for the first time in my life i feel calm. and even when i get anxious, i just share my space with my HP so i donāt feel alone, and He takes care of me. very powerful realization for me, that Heās with me and loves me, always.
thatās enough outta me tho lmao, best wishes to you my friends :] <3
Day 171.
My mind has cleared up so much Iāve realised the amount crazy people around me 
I have other bad habits to conquer before I can feel content with my life.
Some are, i wanna say there is one new person. Billy Coragan still there
Day 295. Hey fam, i just wanted to say thank you for the love on tuesday and all the replies. Yesterday i had the day off and its been a while but i did sleep all day, i was supposed to have a one on one at 530 with my mental health counselor and i just stayed sleeping. Ill make sure i reschedule, i do feel off today, very light headed and just blah. Im looking forward to getting home. Today makes 7 months in my department and soon will be 10 months in recovery. Much love
Day 935
Feeling more awake now as ive had my morning coffee. Waking up at 6am was hard. I couldve slept at least until 10. But i got my son on the bus for school and now im just getting ready to head out to pick up ingredients for some macarons im making next week. Then off to the gym and then home to clean and relax. Hope u all have a fantastic day! 
