Checking in wish 155 days sober.
My relationship with my hubby is a bit strained. It’s hard for both spouses when one gets sober, and the other still drinks a lot.
Right now the hardest part is he’s changing his drinking patterns, which is throwing off my coping mechanisms. Example: He started drinking at 11am, was drunk and passed out by 1:30pm. I had assumed (wrongly) that he was going to be drunk for the rest of the day and went to my coping mechanism (act as if we are living two different lives) and went about my day. I had to make changes to plans and take my kids with me to run a long errand. By 5pm when I got back home, he had stopped drinking but I was still mentally separated and in my coping mechanism. I couldn’t reconnect. I didn’t want to reconnect.
Anyway, it’s hard.
I need a better coping mechanism for his drinking. Food for thought. 
I’ll stay sober today.
@danam56 how are you doing Dana? Hope you were able to get some rest to recharge the emotional and physical battery 
@just_laura I may be the odd one out but I did enjoy the taste of spirits and wines and beer and well just all of it LOL – in my attempt to try and find a NA version of the spirits and wine I would always relapse so I gave up on that quest. I am so impressed with the selection of totally 100% alcohol free drinks now that taste close to the same thing (get the taste without the wasted after effects. I know this is a slippery slope so I am always on guard when I do indulge in a NA beer. Glad you were able to have a chill moment with other non drinkers
@hakeemosman Way to go friend – 2 weeks is impressive – keep up the great work. 
@tragicfarinelli Oh I’m sorry friend! Sending your past you some Hugs and love and hope that the present you is feeling better 
I did really love that pic you posted – so beautiful!
@mno OOH have a wonderful time and we look forward to seeing your adventures when you are ready to share
@acromouse some great days my friend and 1 month of no gluten or dairy yeah you! Yesterday sounds like a blast! Glad it was such a hit. Your daughter must have been thrilled.
@bomdhil YEAH to sleeping well and gaining energy. 16 days Thomas – glad to see you in a doing well and in a positive mindset 
It is hard at the beginning as we are so used to the coping mechanisms we have used for soooo many years. Stay connected in real life support and here when possible as it helps to know that we are not alone in this fight. Pick up tools that will help you re-train the mind. ODAAT friend – great to have you on this journey with us For me I used comedy to change my mindset and also meditation, dancing, screaming into the void or a pillow, punching a pillow or the air. All helped get the tension out.
@positivethoughts WHOOP!! Yippee – 2 months is amazing work! You are crushing it friend – grateful to see you thriving and being so present and sober for yourself and your family
@1in8billion So glad to see your update. That screen time can be so toxic. Glad you are making the notes and reminders to stay on a healthy mindset. Super proud that you did come here and post and work through the downslide – that is strength my friend
@jesile I know what you mean – I do love the fall but the winter is a downer with the cold, dark and gloomy days and no outdoor pool time. I am going to try to come up with something to mentally help me stay positive during these yucky months. Have you tried doing any winter type activities – maybe enjoying yourself in the cold outdoors will change up the mindset?
@tyland I am sorry friend. But do hang in there. What is the alternative – go back to drinking and knowing that there is not out – there is not light at the end of the tunnel. Being sober and healing takes time and effort but it is worth it. You are dealing with sobriety and a broken heart and that can be tough. Time will heal – try to focus on something positive in your life. Try to take up a new activity or hobby – that may help change your mindset? Just don’t give up on yourself – you do deserve a happy and sober life
@vanessa8 OOF that is tough! Kudos to you for having your coping mechanisms and protecting your sobriety. 155 days I wish I had some insight or advice but all I got is support. I do hope it gets easier for the two of you
Checking in on Monday evening
628 days free of alcohol and weed
1043 days free of cigarettes
It has been an insane day. Woke up early thinking I would do a little physical activity and then get to sleep but I had paperwork to do that took 4 hours and then I had to drop them off at the post office because I missed the mail lady and they had to go out today. I did come home and am trying to putz around, did some yoga and checking TS to try and keep myself awake so I can sleep properly tonight 
I am so glad I am seeing my doctor this week as I do need some insight into this pain. I don’t want to take pills but hopefully something can be done to help.
Anyways - another day with a massive headache and I’ve decided its a pizza night. My brother will pick up for me (He just doesn’t know it yet 
)
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Day 939
Today was a decent day for a Monday lol I mailed off my dreamcatcher and my dads bday gift. Then went for a hard workout. Came home to clean, put away laundry, and to work on my next dreamcatcher which is an actual paid order. I managed to get the web done today. Just waiting on more feathers thru amazon… they come on Wed.
I had a good day but did have a couple random thoughts of using. That “would be nice to have one” sort of thinking. Not really sure why they happened. I dont think anything triggered it.
Its 630pm here and my husband is still at work dealing with a concrete pour. Im starving and really want to eat supper. Trying not to binge right now so i had a piece of toast with pb on it. That should tie me over until he gets home. Not much else happening today. Hope u all have a great night!
I’m about to apply for a short-term position, I think. I think I’m steady enough to take something on. Still need some flexibility for travel. Maybe I’ll be such a good skier that I can teach creaky-jointed Gen X (meee) to ski. That’s my next job. Bunny slope instructor!
Sleep well 
Checking in day 195
I was not going to let yesterday’s conflict ruin today. AA meeting this morning. Task completing today. Gym pool exercise tonight.
I am transportation for daughter to come and work for me. She hasn’t been awake when I get there. Today called 3 times then text I am not coming for her if she not up. 1 hour later she wants to get picked up. I set boundaries and picked her up but I am not coddling her anymore. She is 23. Time to get responsible her and me.
@JazzyS yes, I took a nap and then slept very well last night, thanks for checking on me. I’m not sure what hit me.
Day 450 AF
Feeling better today than yesterday. I’m over the heat here in AZ. I’m ready for cooler weather.
Starting day 5 here in Finnish Lapland
It’s 6.22 am
Welcome back!
Thanks😊 It’s been a while since my last post
@JazzyS I’m wondering now I know I definitely didn’t like the taste of any plain liquors. I do think I enjoyed certain liqueurs, like sambuca and disaronno. I question that though, feeling as if it’s a trick to get me that much closer to the real thing. Did I actually like it? I’ll never know for sure 
Coffee’s a good example here. It was disgusting the first time I tried it and now I drink it black. I started drinking it for the affects and got used to it’s flavor. It tends to start tasting bad again when I’ve had enough and I don’t do decaf bc…why? I think I like it’s taste, but could the experience of it all be clouding my judgment? The things that keep me up at night 
572
My day off was stormy, sunny, storm, sun, more storms. Still good. Since I didn’t have much spending money last week, we went back to the mall for proper back to school shopping. It’s nice(but crazy) my daughter’s fitting into juniors/women’s sizes now, so I know things will last. I treated myself to some (cheap)clothes too bc it’s rare nowadays and it felt nice to get something new 
Winding down in hopes of a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow’s a new day 
ODAAT!
1921
We’re chilling in the woods. Slept well after adjusting to the dark and the quiet. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober or nothing will come from it. Love.
@Finn welcome back you! Glad you’re here friend🤗
I’m pushing 50 days and things are going well. Work has been manic lately and I’ve noticed some old habits crop up as a result such as, overthinking, Anxiety and frustration. I’ll correct that the next few days.
I have a lot of decent things in the pipeline like travel plans and some big running goals coming up so I’m working on those while trying to keep myself grounded and not too caught up in things.
Now if only I could put all the above into practice a little better. I must come.back here and read this post a couple of times the next few days
@_mb.nx welcome to the checking-in thread 
congrats on 2 days
@PositiveThoughts congrats on 60 days good luck with your presentation 
@Tyland sending strength 🩵
@JazzyS I also hope something can be done for your pain I hope you enjoyed your pizza 
@Lighter good luck with your application
@Finn welcome back congrats on day 5
1491 days no alcohol.
956 days no cocaine.
471 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Not much to update since I already wrote about therapy in yesterday’s check-in. I did some meditations and listened to some audiobook. Then I fell asleep early, so I escaped any binge urges. Always grateful to wake up to the realisation that I didn’t binge the night before 
🩵
Checking in day 82
Today was a fair day, I’ve been finding my self thinking a lot of things that I’ve done wrong in the past while under the influence. I just don’t know how to forgive my self and let it go, I’m my own critic when it comes to these thoughts it could be the simplest thing something I said or something I did. it will just eat me up, it has been about a week since the last time they bothered me. 
any advice would be greatly appreciated
Have a great Tuesday morning everyone
149
In bed, going to sleep soon. Feeling sad. Still sad about breaking up with x but i know I did the right thing. It just sucks and was in the mindset that he could be the one, was already picturing a future together so now I’m greiving the loss of that theoretical future. But keyword ks theoretical, doesn’t mean it would have played out the way i hoped it would. Just going to sleep sad tonight.
Working in the morning.
Sending support to everyone 
Checking in on day 9.
@wahtisnormal I like your mindset on theoretical. Sending love your way
@Lefty624 When I feel like I am especially hard on myself I find a loving kindness meditation very helpful. I personally like Tara Brach’s meditations a lot. But you can take any one. Hope you get out of the funk soon.
@Finn Welcome back to the forum! 5 days are great. And Lapland is a magical place from the stories of my childhood 
@tailee17 23 is a good age to start learning some responsibilities. It’s tough as a parent to walk that tight rope between setting boundaries and caring support.
@Lighter Bunny slope instructor sounds great 
In my language it’s calle donkey’s meadow
293 sugar
157 UPF
31 gluten
31 dairy
Hormonal rollercoaster is driving me nuts. Hopelessness combined with anxiety is great. No energy and motivation added to that. But I know this will pass, impermanence at work here. I’ll feel better through the day again.
Groceries to be done in a few, then back to my usual work. The last entry in my devlog has been almost two months ago now. I’m going to ease into it slowly. Getting oriented where I’m standing, what needs doing, and taking the next steps. Not much to be done else today. Some todos, yoga later. My ex wants to have dinner at his place today. Maybe Recovery Dharma in the evening unless I’m just far too tired and collapse into bed at 9.
A day of peace, a day of loving life no matter what is a good aim for today 
