Saturday night check in before bed.
The two Halloween parties I went to today were awesome. So glad I stayed sober, and I’m going to bed feeling Like I’ve got a good chance of a successful big day tomorrow. Hosting a big Halloween party here. I should be able to hit the ground running first thing in the morning when I get up.
Take care!
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Checking in sober on a Saturday night. Looking forward to another hangover free morning
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Day 1106 AF
Worked the Saturday shift. We had to deal with a frustrated client. Some people are just rude af on the phones. Went to the grocery store after work. Kids were fighting like always. Got back home and chilled with the little man for a bit. I was gonna go for a walk but not feeling it. Just getting tired of following the same routine every day. I don’t have alot of cash to go anywhere either. I’ve tried reading but get bored after like two pages. Gonna play video games for a bit and then crash. Tomorrow’s a new day.
Have a goodnite, fam. ODAAT 
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TW: Suicide
1968
A couple of days ago I heard one of my fellow nurses say to another nurse “all people who commit suicide are egotists.” Made me mad but I didn’t know what to say except maybe fuck you or something. So I said nothing. Then yesterday afternoon I got the message Rogier killed himself.
We weren’t even that close, an old colleague from when I just started out working in addiction care nearly 25 years ago. A very nice colleague, big guy, very Dutch in his directness and bluntness, down to earth, with a great sense of humour. We stayed in touch mainly on FB, where he posted his drawings regularly, sharing his journey through life.
He struggled with mental health for a long time. Early this year his beloved dog Roxy died. Then more recently he was hospitalized after suffering from paralysis and loss of muscle strength. Took more than month to come up with a diagnosis of an autoimmune disease.
The last month he seemed on the mend, making serious work of rehabilitation, making slow progress. Then yesterday this message came through another former colleague I remained friends with. I hope you found rest and peace Rogier. You sure weren’t an egotist.
And on I go. Off to work a Sunday morning shift it is. Let’s have as good a day as we all can friends. Sober and clean. Love. The pic is the last drawing he shared, last Thursday.
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You’re not the only one. I still don’t feel like I really know who I am yet! All I know is I’m better than I was. I don’t recall if you’ve tried any programs, but I turned to AA when I felt lost in the beginning. It was nice being surrounded by people who shared the same goal as me, even as strangers. Congrats on 3 weeks! Better days await
@HolySquid Way to go on 600 days!!! 
@mxelle Well done fighting that urge 
Weed is a tough one for sure, but it’s worth it once the fog clears 
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Work felt so long 
I knew I was working this party, but I didn’t know I was bartending. The problem with that was, I didn’t eat much before work bc I expected to be able to go in the kitchen and snack whenever I wanted. Not be trapped in a box, surrounded by people for 5 hours. Lucky I brought a protein shake and smoothie, but it wasn’t enough substance and I ended up with a headache. I was the last to leave and just wanted to get straight home, forgetting I planned to pick up a few things on the way. I know I should eat now, but nothing I have here sounds good. Plus it’s 1am and I have work in the morning 
Whoa, wtf?! Idk who it was or where it came from but someone’s arguing! Things like that used to happen on the daily. The fact it surprised me bc of how rare it’s become makes me grateful for the neighbors I have now. It’s really come a long way in my 7 years of living here. It’s is the longest stretch without a dealer in the building. Not that I ever associated with them(even when I was using), but still, I hope it stays this way 
Well I just broke down and had a snack bc I don’t want to risk hunger keeping me awake. Hope everyone has a great Sunday
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I was up before 6am today as the clocks went back in the middle of the night. But I got enough sleep anyway so this is like a little gift.
I’ve made a huge pot of coffee, took out some walking snacks and applied deep heat to my partner’s back in the hope we can do what I’ve planned today… So far the back is presenting as much better 
I’ve devised a long and circular eight miler up thru the parkland walk from Finsbury park in North London, with a trip right up to the top of Alexandra Palace and back around walking the New River Path near Haringey. I really wanna do it. Here’s hoping today is a good walking day.
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I’m sorry to read this
I’m thinking of you and his family today 
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I’m sorry Menno about this sad loss. I hope he found his peace
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*Day 2230 
Worked yesterday and visited my brother and his family afterwards. It was weird, I do not felt a connection. Maybe we haven’t seen eachother too much ore we hide ourselves behind a shield ore such. Maybe it’s just me who felt unconfortable, I do not know. My hubby hasn’t noticed anything, not about me ore my brother. He just had a good time. Maybe I’m too sensitive?
A few days to go before the plaster can finally go. I haven’t walked ore worked out in 2 months now. It’s such a loooong time
Today? I friend is coming to visit me. So a talk with coffee and pie
Have a good day ore night all
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340 sugar
204 UPF
78 gluten
78 dairy
14 distraction-free eating
Today a lot of fog. Ideal weather for the hike I’ll be off to in a few. I’ll try to fit my weekly review in the afternoon. Glad the clocks are reset today. I had one more hour to sleep. Some Yoga and the rest is going to be chill. Tomorrow is the first day of school after the fall break.
Today’s picture is a pretty gutter.
Peace and love for life always 
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Day 258
Sunday Evening check in. Had a really nice weekend. Time with Nature, time with family, time with my girl. Hope everyone is doing ok
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330 days
Quick check in. Good day.
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Checking in on day 728 AF.
Wishing everyone a peaceful & joyful Sunday. Have a fantastic day 
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A beautiful but also sad drawing.
Hope you are ok my friend
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@Dilettante good to read from you 
sorry about your lifey weekend glad you’re in a better place again now 🩵
@wahtisnormal belated happy birthday 
grief truly is really hard sending strength 🩵 enjoy your new watch
@Laner that really is a lot of mice! I’m so sorry you and your neighbours are dealing with this. It’s interesting what acromouse has shared about their experience. I hope you find a solution 
@Noshame belated happy birthday
@Timetochange congrats on 16 months
@NewBeginning1 welcome back
@Lile01 I hope you’re okay sending strength 🩵
@HakeemOsman congrats on 60+ days
@GOKU2019 thank you I hope you can get in with the specialist soon
@Amy30 sending strength 🩵 keep squishing!
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@Rob11 belated happy birthday
@Juli1 maybe because work during the week is a good distraction, and maybe you are tired from the work week too. Sending strength 🩵
@Seb oh wow, you saw it! Great photo 
@Frank68 belated happy birthday
@acromouse very stylish indeed
@Whereswaldo congrats on all the 2s
@Pamela congrats on 3 weeks you will rediscover yourself and find new things to enjoy
@HolySquid congrats on 600 days
@Mno sorry for this sad news 
@SoberWalker sorry you didn’t feel the connection with your brother 
but yay for the cast coming off soon, your freedom awaits!
1538 days no alcohol.
1003 days no cocaine.
33 days no binge-eating.
17 days no vape.
Missed my check-ins Friday and yesterday. Had a bad time with anxiety whilst getting ready to travel for therapy. Therapy was rough again, I’m so angry, I guess I’m feeling something atleast. Then on the train home, everyone’s seats had been double-booked, so I had to stand the whole way home and was in excrutiating pain and sweating profusely and very visibly, I felt so humiliated and ashamed. It was so crowded, there were people in all the exits and aisles all squished together. I don’t think I can do it anymore. Might have to ask if we can go back to online sessions, even though I do get so much more out of in-person ones. I wish I could drive there, but even the backroad route involves 2 slip roads and 4 miles on a motorway, it’s the slip roads that I can’t cope with. I feel like I’d have a panic attack and perform an emergency stop and cause an accident.
I’m also so nauseous, it catches me off-guard because I wait until I feel it before I take the anti-sickness pills. So Friday my seat on the train to therapy was facing backwards and at another table seat, and I had to take one then. Then when I got back to the city centre I live near, I was waiting for a taxi and had to take one then. I was still sweating so bad that I steamed up the entire taxi, which humiliated me further. I think it might be another withdrawal symptom bc I’m not usually that bad!
Anyway, I was able to decompress yesterday. I still need to take the packages to the parcel shop to return them. My recycling bags are also full again so I’ll take them out to the bins. I will read a chapter of the book I’m reading. Do some more meditations. See what else I can motivate myself to do.
It feels good to be caught-up here.
I hope you’re all having wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
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So sorry to read about your loss Menno. Sounds like a really good guy has left this earth. Hope he found peace.
Thanks for sharing his drawing. I keep you and him and his grieving family and friends in my thoughts today.
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Happy Sunday!
Thanks for the birthday wishes! It was a fun day.
Sunday mornings are good. I get to go to the local hospital for an AA meeting supporting inpatients in rehab. Its grear service work.
MAKE it an awesome day my friends!!!
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Thank you @JazzyS @Cjp @Just_Laura @CATMANCAM it always feels good to be seen and heard
Checking in after an eventful day yesterday…I hired a van and moved all the big stuff to my new flat…with the soon to be ex-husband watching on and just being awful. Not even a thought of drinking to ease the stress or drown my sorrows though.
Being sober has given me the clarity to see that our relationship was not good on so many levels…and the strength to be able to act on that knowledge 
it’s going to be tough, but I know I’ve made the right decision. I hope everyone has a lovely Sunday
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