My anxiety has been off the charts along with my stress levels. I wish certain things weren’t so hard for me. Like… figuring out how to do things. I mean, with my work and coursework… things just feel harder and they take me longer than they do other people. Does that make any sense? My ADHD kinda makes me a bit slow to pick up on things…
Anyway. Yesterday I made the most useful purchase ever! A stress ball. It’s really really helpful when I’m trying to… think. And squishing on the little thing makes me happy.
Day 345. Yesterday started out with a good ride, few days ago i went to my spot where i build my jumps and someone stole my shovel. So i baught another Yesterday went and built my jumps up and i hit one, mid air my wheel cut out luckily i still kind of landed but did hit my tail bone pretty good. I read about my wheel having these issues before buying it but didnt think it would happen lol. This time my controller and motor crapped the bed. Emailed the company and parts are already on the way. Looking forward to my girls being here today, much love
Wasn’t any offense at all towards you. Just surmising that personally I’m the definition of addiction, and that my wife got lumped with me. Well done on the five days.
Slower day today, feel like I’ve forgotten something somehow. If I have, I’m unaware and will probably remain that way until too late. Funny old feeling today in my gut; strange invasive thoughts around being emotionally stunted and embarrassed and ashamed of my own self. Weird, but I’ve tried to instead sit with it and figure out why the thought of myself in certain ways/aspects distresses myself so badly.
Thanks for checking in friend and congrats on your days. It’s good to see you. You do you, and you live your life. Just don’t forget you’re in Recovery. Forever. Which IMHO is a good thing because it means living our lives with good intention, with attention and with mindfulness. Take care
Today, I went to the passport office with my friend, who applied for his Police Clearance Certificate. Afterward, we had lunch together and then caught a movie at the theater. Spending time with him made me realize that he’s truly a friend—he never brings up drinking and fully supports me in my recovery.
I have countless friends, but most only reach out when they need something—like my vehicle, money, or drinks. They never call to check in and ask if I’m doing okay. Lately, I’m learning how to say “No,” as I’ve realized that many of my past struggles stemmed from my difficulty setting boundaries. I used to worry too much about what others would think.
Staying strong. Thank you all for your support, and I hope everyone else is doing well too!
Turning 52 today. Had a nice walk with my girlfriend. Met each other two weeks ago, but already feels like that (i feel the commitment so to say). No online dating where the status of the relationship is kept vague for a very long time. At least that is my experience. My parents take my son and me out for dinner tonight.
204 days sober
Started the day with a much needed hike. That’s always my favorite part of the day. I’ve been trying to come up with a plan to set up the future orphanage to be financially stable in the future and my best ideas are coming during my hikes. I’m hoping to run some ideas by my friend soon to get her insight.
And then I’ve spend the rest of the day mouse proofing my house. I sealed up holes, cracks and kidnapped a street cat to live in the yard. Although my dogs are terrorizing the cat so don’t know how long it’ll stay or survive.
And managed to get some work done on the translation project. I felt a bit bad today because some past students came by to ask why we aren’t meeting for cooking lessons like we usually do this time of year but I’m just feeling like between work and working on myself I needed to take a step back from another project for the time being. I’ll get into it again when I feel ready.
I think the only cat availability here is basic street cat. Interesting to know though. I’ve heard of hypoallergenic dogs but didn’t know they had cats like this.
Makes sense. We had a meeting today as neighbors to talk about this problem. We all have noticed the mouse problem has gotten real bad for all of us. Then one of the neighbors pointed out that last month most of the street cats and dogs were killed because of a rabies outbreak so we think that the lack of cats are part of the issue.
Happy Friday: lunch break hello.
After the morning daycare drop off, doing a bit of tidying (I’m out of bed at 5am every day these days), and doing a few hours of office work, I decided to take an extra long lunch break, for mental health.
Going to spend the some extra time doing relaxed housework, exercising, meditating, and not rush through personal care like I have to lately. I have some approved Halloween decorations I’m allowed to put up after work, without the ones my wife wants to do with me - ha!
Going to keep breathing deeply, stop carrying tension around in my body, be intentional, and avoid rushing around and being stressed. I don’t even have music on, and the phone screen is on greyscale. I really need to mentally declutter for a few hours, and refresh. I recognize I haven’t been kind to my nervous system the last few years, months, and weeks. I have to remember to be mindful about taking care of my nervous system.
I’ll be back to check in on my personal accountability thread later tonight, as I need a bit of extra effort to avoid a reset tonight. I’ll catch up on reading your updates later! Thanks for reading my long-winded post.
