@Seb This is really great news friend! Every time I cannot workout and move properly my mental health goes down the drain. Really happy for you being able to get back to movement @SoberWalker Yeah, this sounds like a tough situation. Your mental health is suffering from the whole foot thing, his from all the stress. It’s difficult then to reach out. Hope this gets better soon.
I am going to share an exercise we recently practiced at couples’ counceling our therapist called Deep Listening. If it does not sound usefull to you, just ditch it.
One block consists of:
One person (A) talks for 5min about whatever they want, the other one (B) listens to understand.
Then person B tries for 2min to express what they heard from person A. No comments, no judgements, nothing abour your own feelings or thoughts about the topic, no suggestions. Just expressing what you heard and understood person A talking about, the feelings you felt person A trying to express.
Repeat steps 1 and 2.
At the end person A gets to wrap up this block talking for 3min.
Then you do a second block but switch the roles.
We have found this exercise very helpful. @Tragicfarinelli I feel you friend. Same boat here. Let’s surf the waves as best as we can. Calmer waters will come @Maestro Congrats on 2 years. Quite the milestone @Joyce19 Hey there Good to see you here checking in. Connect, reach out. You are taking the right steps! @Mno Best of luck with your interview. Are you showing off another bike parking facility again?!
Another slow day today, although I am feeling less exhausted than yesterday. Did my morning yoga and rowing exercise, send my daughter off to school. She has been working like a mad person on her Halloween costume these last days, the sewing machine is working overtime, and my nerves are also waiting for the weekend to bring some peace
Today I’ll leave work be, I won’t come up with anything usefull anyways. My heart and mind need a break. I am going to take care of some small stuff, and spend the rest of the day easy going with some reading and contemplating stuff.
Maybe relaxing yoga in the afternoon and I think I could use a Dharma meeting in the evening.
Today’s picture is from a summer trip to Malmö last year. I love all the blue in the picture.
Went for a nice 15 mile hike yesterday I love the lovely colours of autumn but I have a problem with the dark evening it really effects my moods but yesterday was a good day and I finished it off with going too my first AA meeting in over a year which I really enjoyed I had gotten out of the way of going to them mostly I need to ask someone to look after my daughter which I hate doing and it’s a big character defect of mine to ask for help for anything
Hope everyone has a good day
Checking in with another day sober. A family emergency came up today and since I am sober I was able to take care of it and be present (mentally as well as physically) to support and do what i needed.
Day 32 and lastnight was a struggle. I woke up after passing out midway through a movie with the urge to act out based on feelings regarding today and going to have a conversation today with my wife about me moving out. I’m glad that I didn’t give in despite the grips of addiction hovering over me. My solution: I reached out to a few fellows followed by attending a Zoom meeting. TFLMS ODAAT
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On the train to London. Me, just me. I’ve got concert tickets for tonight, my other half isn’t that interested in the band, so I’m going on my own. Really excited about this little adventure
Checking in. It was a good weekend and i feel like i’m in a good head space at the moment. Got my therapy session today. Big deadline approaching on friday and alot to do. But i’m thankful and still here. After my confession to my wife and my last setback 10 days ago, the goal is to every single day just appreciate what i have. Thankful to not be hiding and just embrace my conscious not wrecking me at the moment.
@shel75 Kitchen time with wine was a daily thing - like i couldn’t cook / bake without it Grateful to be in the know now and be aware of what I’m making and not do the grocery runs in the middle while intoxicated (in my mind i was fine). Glad you enjoyed some sober kitchen time today! Good luck with the doctors today @Dolse71 WHOOHOO! 1500 days is amazing. You are just rocking along and I love seeing the days stack up. Keep going strong Paul @scorpn I’m sorry your birthday turned out that way. WTF is wrong with him? That would totally floor me and have me spinning. I’m sure you look great with the short hair but that is not the point - you were not ready to cut it and he had no right. Sending you strength my friend. You deserve better and deserve someone who loves you as freely and unconditionally as you love those around you @MNfast Welcome to the community and great work on your 299 days!
Sending hugs your way Hope your day gets better and know we are here if you need us! @joyce19 YEAH day 3 and back on track. That moderation mindset is so sneaky. I would always try to convince myself that THIS time would be different and THIS time I would be able to control it. LOL - we know how that went. Glad you have recognized it for what it is and are working on your sober journey @maestro WOOT WOOT! 2 years is remarkable! Way to go freind. Keep up the amazing work @Tragicfarinelli YUCK! Hormonal crap can FRO – sending you comfort and hugs. @SoberWalker YEAH to getting the boot off tomorrow! Sorry to hear about the mood and relationship struggles. Hopefully once you are moving again you two can resume the walks and talk things out in nature. @jennyh Way to go friend – 40 days is awesome work! Good luck with your appointment. I haven’t dealt with midwifes but hear it is a great experience as long as you find one you click with. Hoping all goes well for you today.
@seb That is great news! Glad you were able to get into the gym and start feeling that endorphin rush! @butterflymoonwoman OOH that is frustrating that you haven’t been able to get a hold of that woman. I do hope she calls back today. Hope you have a wonderful day! @Conor80 beautiful pic. I love the fall colors and that smell is heavenly too. The dark nights are taking a minute to get used to. They do play on my mental health too. Try to find something fun to do in the evenings to keep the happy mood alive when the sun goes down. Glad you enjoyed your AA meeting @Philipwithonel Way to go on reaching out for support and using your tools to not act out. The urges will come and sometimes when we least expect them. Key is to use what we know and keep pushing forward one moment at a time! @HolySquid What are you going to see? Have fun on your adventure
Checking in on Wednesday morning
not a great night of sleep but got enough to keep going. Woke up and got some accounting work done. Now sitting here dying my hair and drinking my coffee while catching up on here. Hoping to meet up with a friend later today. Planned a few times over past few months but my health always caused me to cancel. Today may be a good day LOL.
Its a beautiful day so I’m gonna soak in all the fall awesomeness. One day left till Halloween! SUPER EXCITED
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
One moment at a time, most definitely! It was down to second to second based on my thoughts and the actions I was wanting to engage in. I’m glad I chose the right decision and changed which way things could have gone. The addict in me was trying to justify not reaching out to anyone, including my sponsor, and just remain in isolation, which is the negative comfort I’ve always known and previously would gravitate towards without question.
226 days sober. No alcohol and no cannabis. Australia legalised it for medical use a little while ago and now it’s so easy to get. I just said to a doctor online i had trouble sleeping and they handed over a prescription for more weed than I have ever purchased in one go. And it was cheaper! I ended up smoking pot after getting drunk so I could just go straight to sleep and stay asleep instead of waking up at 3am.
Combine this with going into the liquor store and searching for the highest % alcohol for the lowest price and you’ve got a pretty bad combo. Funny thing is, I was hiding it really well. So well that it scared me. I was brushing it off, as if getting black out drunk and stoned 4-5 times a week was okay because I was waking up feeling fine, “just tired”. I really think if I had kept going
that way, I only had another month in me before I would of ended up in hospital or simply would have just ended everything myself.
What was driving me to self destruction? I wasn’t overly stressed I don’t think, my life was pretty good especially compared to those less fortunate. Im really starting to understand that it was truly an addiction. Something that had taken over me. It wasn’t just a coping mechanism. It started small, 17 years ago when I was just 15. And that addiction grew inside me every day and my entire life became about alcohol.
Every afternoon it was “I can’t wait to go home and have a drink”
Fridays I celebrated the end of the week by getting drunk.
Saturdays became early afternoon drinking sessions that went on late into the night. Sunday afternoons were full of dread and anxiety and only drinking could stamp out the anxious thoughts.
Monday was the start of the week and became a great reason to drink in the afternoon.
And so on.
Im writing this as a reflection on both my sobriety and my addiction to alcohol. As the days go by I think about alcohol and drinking less and less but recently I’ve had some wandering thoughts about moderation. I know that it doesn’t work. I can’t have one drink. I can’t have one sip. I can’t smoke some weed. It is so important that I stay focused and any loss of inhibition, even through tiredness, is a potential step towards drinking again.
I haven’t been checking in daily here, but it’s something I need to start doing again for myself.
I hope everyone is going well and has a great week.
Totally get that. It’s the exact same reason I haven’t attended AA regularly. I really only have my mom to watch my daughter and she does every time I work so I don’t want to ask anymore of her. When I do have the chance, I’m not thinking about it and only realize I could’ve gone after the fact. Something to work on
Hear this and know it well. It’s really fucking sad (wishing away time in order to get high) and I used to really start getting the desire to be home just so I could drink more than any other feeling. At least now you are dealing with stuff head on. Well done on staying clean.
Oh Scorpios, my all time favorite Maybe it’s because I’m also a similar creature Seek a little revenge for your hair
Remember that some have another understanding of empathy, or little or none at all, and so to long for their empathy is in vain. Give yourself empathy, and put up those boundaries with yourself, and them. Remember the strength of your self-reliance
Hey hope everyone is doing well.
I’m feeling stuck today. Not crying as often as i have been in past few weeks or mouth ago. Witch i guess is good. I try to keep myself busy. Still finding times when im not not having someone to turn to the way i feel i need to or feeling wanted is just a few voids some of the things i going throu by myself suck. I have ask for advice a few time here on a few things here and only end getting likes or heart witch tells me people are read me check in ends. One the other end there have been time i have gotten reply s back that have really helped. Idk this is where i start feeling down because i feel so alone. As time goes pass by. Its flying by and i ask why am i here . You work so hard to get yourself out of debt. Im so close lol . Then what ? Lol then work slows down, or i make plans to go somewhere and prices rise. Idk so i thought for every door that closes i thought new ones open. Lol then people should say then there will be hills and road blocks along the way too and then just maybe then a door will open ugh. Well i hope everyone has a positive and great day and hope if doors need to be open to better your life. I hope they do. Hope you have good peps around you to help guide you in the right direction too (odaat)
Checking In - reset my sober date today, because I’m my opinion I had a slip recently. It’s about accountability and shedding away my shame and guilt.
Have focused this week on “doing the work”. Reviewing what my plan is and creating a support network that I can rely on. I am really leaning into some literature including the Big Book.
Also prioritizing the base level things, food, exercise, health, therapy.
I am feeling hopeful, I have not planned this way in the past
Thank you very much for your kind words, @Mno . Day 3 is better than day 2. I try to keep myself busy. It’s certainly better together than alone. I don’t buy wine after work now, but drive straight into town. I also practise HALT. Sounds easy, but it’s not.
Day 990
I am on one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride lately. Mentally im not doing that great Today i wanted to hide under the covers and sleep the day away. I want to escape. But thats not who I am! Once i got my son on the bus, i went straight into the BB, the JFT book, and my Jesus Calling book. I prayed, i cried, i asked God to be near me today, i asked for direction and guidance, i ask to be divorced from self pity, dishonest, and self seeking motives, to be of use to others and out of self. Bcuz thats why im mentally not well. Its bcuz im so focused on myself and my problems. I sat in silence for a moment and I felt a sense of calm over me. I felt protected and loved and not alone. God is sooo good! Instead of sleeping the day away, i got up and headed out to the gym. Im just finishing my workout now. I am REFUSING to live my life by sleeping it away, feeling depressed, and mentally unwell. Ive been practically fighting my entire life, so why stop now. I am choosing today to fight for me, to fight a better life. So here I am! Im going to finish my workout and then run a couple errands, head home and be productive at home. Im grateful for God today. I cant live my life without Him
Good to see you here checking in. Connect, reach out. You are taking the right steps!
meeting in the evening.
but I have a problem with the dark evening it really effects my moods but yesterday was a good day and I finished it off with going too my first AA meeting in over a year which I really enjoyed I had gotten out of the way of going to them mostly I need to ask someone to look after my daughter which I hate doing and it’s a big character defect of mine to ask for help for anything
to my rental 
that ends up in the huge bike parking I shared here before 
Grateful to be in the know now and be aware of what I’m making and not do the grocery runs in the middle while intoxicated (in my mind i was fine). Glad you enjoyed some sober kitchen time today! Good luck with the doctors today 
Keep up the amazing work 
Hope you have a wonderful day!
Maybe it’s because I’m also a similar creature 
Seek a little revenge for your hair 
because i feel so alone. As time goes pass by. Its flying by and i ask why am i here . You work so hard to get yourself out of debt. Im so close lol . Then what ? Lol then work slows down, or i make plans to go somewhere and prices rise. Idk so i thought for every door that closes i thought new ones open. Lol then people should say then there will be hills and road blocks along the way too and then just maybe then a door will open ugh. Well i hope everyone has a positive and great day and hope if doors need to be open to better your life. I hope they do. Hope you have good peps around you to help guide you in the right direction too (odaat)
Today i wanted to hide under the covers and sleep the day away. I want to escape. But thats not who I am! Once i got my son on the bus, i went straight into the BB, the JFT book, and my Jesus Calling book. I prayed, i cried, i asked God to be near me today, i asked for direction and guidance, i ask to be divorced from self pity, dishonest, and self seeking motives, to be of use to others and out of self. Bcuz thats why im mentally not well. Its bcuz im so focused on myself and my problems. I sat in silence for a moment and I felt a sense of calm over me. I felt protected and loved and not alone. God is sooo good! Instead of sleeping the day away, i got up and headed out to the gym. Im just finishing my workout now. I am REFUSING to live my life by sleeping it away, feeling depressed, and mentally unwell. Ive been practically fighting my entire life, so why stop now. I am choosing today to fight for me, to fight a better life. So here I am! Im going to finish my workout and then run a couple errands, head home and be productive at home. Im grateful for God today. I cant live my life without Him