@mno I’m sorry friend - even when we can sense the darkness coming, it is still overwhelming when it takes over. I am grateful that you did what you did to clam your surroundings and were able to have a good sleep. Sending hugs and love your way. @Juli1 Be kind to you my friend. You are precious and worth love. I do hope this phase passes soon for you and you are submerged with positive light @acromouse Thanks friend. 50 days! That is awesome work friend Congrats on getting your run on
this made me laugh -thank you. I did the same and hopefully it brought you a nice mental break. I am so grateful for memes and the joy they bring LOL. @Tragicfarinelli WHOOHOO Congrats on fixing the radiators! That is a great way to start off a Sunday!
Checking in on Sunday morning… I didn’t really sleep well and am feeling out of sorts at the moment. Having a coffee but not really wanting to be awake. My alarms were missed as my phone ran out of juice overnight and I was just lying there waiting for it to go off LOL – Glad it allowed me to lay around for a few hours. It rainy and dreary here so a perfect day to crack open a book and read in bed.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Checking in day 756! Starting my new full time job tomorrow. Still working my small part time job on the side which gives me some consistency. Very happy to be doing the work I want to do- something I really struggled with when I was drinking. I also reflect that my biggest worry is if I’ll get enough sleep tonight, as opposed to whether I’ll be hungover, have the sweats, look bloated, be shaky, have mental fog, etc. I’m grateful for this freedom.
Wow Sep felt like a tornado and I was standing in the eye. My kiddo started college this year and that looks a lot different to us than it does for many others. She is Autistic, got her license over the summer and is building her tolerance up to hopefully be able to drive herself to and from school someday. Being her mom has taught me so much, and I learned most of it when I was still loaded. The biggest lesson I have learned is that she will do things in her own time, all I need to do is offer her love, support, patience and encouragement.
So this month, somedays I drive her in.
Other days I follow her while she drives her car, wait for her in town for four hours to see how exhausted she is after her class and bring her home. So far she hasnt been able to drive herself home, we have gone back for her car the next day, and thats ok. What is most important to me is that she still tries, that she is willing to give it a shot even though she knows how hard it is for her. My daughter inspires me on my hard days. There is no day that she has ever checked out with a substance to not feel overwhelemed, physically painful or anxious. She sits in her feelings and gets through them. I admire her for that, and I strive to be like her everyday.
My 3 year relationship is also over, and I am grateful for where I am in my recovery. The feeling of acceptance and unconditional love I have is not something I have ever experienced at the end of a relationship before. In the past I have ran away, shut down or been completely evil. None of that feels loving…
Had a nice evening out with a group of people in Maastricht yesterday. Used to live there and it was a long time ago since I went out there. It was very pleasant, but of course some flashbacks how I ended the night in the past. Now I woke up fresh, after only a couple hours sleep and was fit enough to go to the gym
178 days sober
Today was really good for me. At Sunday group everyone encouraged me and the message really spoke to me. I went on a long hike afterwards with a friend. This always helps me process things. I especially like hiking with her because there is never pressure to talk but I find being in her silent presence comforting. I’ve felt good since then. Like a weight is off me. I might feel bad again tomorrow but I’m thankful that today was good. I’ll talk with my online counselor tomorrow and then in the afternoon I have work to get done. Hoping for good energy then
Day 463. … Stormy walk on the beach first thing, then relaxed making a Sunday roast. Now listening to some old tracks from Enya with my dog on my lap. He is such a cuddly pup. I could ask for a better pal… I’ve ordered a kind of strong ginger cordial which I can have with ice tomoro… Going to start my course this week too.
Day 80.
1/2 way through a 3-day long weekend. Lots of family time with my wife and daughter this weekend. We went on a scenic bike ride yesterday - only our second time using the child seat I mounted on my road bike - she loved it. We followed that up with dinner at my in-laws. They are non-drinkers, so no need to even say no, which is a bonus.
Today is packed with a morning music class, lunch with friends, playing some squash with my wife tonight, and out for dinner downtown with friends late tonight.
All good times. Hopefully I’ll catch up on some sleep on Monday night.
Day 959
Hi everyone! Didnt check in yesterday as it was such a busy day and evening. I worked until 12pm and then rushed home to get ready for the fundraising event. It was soooo nice! Everyone said i did well on my speech. I was soo nervous and if it wasnt for the little notes i made to read off of, i probably wouldve froze to be honest. But i got through it and received flowers for it which was sooo nice. I dont think i want to be speaking any time soon tho haha
There was only 1 instance where that little voice popped up. I was getting a gingerale for hubby and looking to see what other options they had for myself. I got this pink lemonade looking drink and the bartender asked if I wanted to add alcohol to it. I said no thanks, but ill be honest that little voice was getting loud. Anyway, im glad that both hubby and I didnt drink and we enjoyed the evening. Didnt win any auction prizes but thats okay.
Today i stayed home to sort of recharge and to do a few things that needed to get done. I got the grocery shopping done hubby did the dishes. And now im washing his work clothes. Going to make supper soon and have a nice shower. Hope everyone is doing well! Will catch up on the thread shortly
@Its_me_Stella Lovely to hear from you. Sounds like lots of changes going on, but you are dealing with them with wisdom and grace. And so is your daughter!
@Butterflymoonwoman Yay! Knew you would do great! Glad you noticed the voice getting loud, and knew to ignore it.
I’m a bit under the weather so I’ll find a show and sleep soon. Lots of crazy emotions lately. I don’t want to wrestle them every day this week. There’s a bunch of social stuff that I’m worried about. I don’t have to do it all.
It’s so strange navigating that world again. This is where my raw feelings come from. It’s equal parts disturbing and exciting, this re-integration stuff. Exhausting for sure.
@acromouse so many places I would like to go. I’ve always wanted to go to Vienna. Maybe Munich, Vienna and Prague? Maybe there would be a way to fit in Paris. We need to be able to walk or take public transit since I probably won’t rent a car. I think Italy would be difficult for me since I have lost my whole Italian “family” there, two of them recently. I lived in Florence for a year in college and had an Italian roommate. Her family was really my family for that whole year, continuing until I lost my Italian “brother” a couple of years ago. He was only 51 so it was very sad.
Day 5!!! You are awesome… sorry you are struggling. Keep pushing through cause this will pass and you will be stronger with another day under your belt
Congrats on getting your run on 
this made me laugh -thank you. I did the same and hopefully it brought you a nice mental break. I am so grateful for memes and the joy they bring LOL.
Well done!
. Glad you didn’t listen to that stupid voice… another win! 
